positive

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be a spark in the dark.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Dont Forget

Searching For Love

I’ve been spending time with family this week, my fiance’s family, a family I’m enjoying getting to know more and more, and we’ve been talking a lot about love and life. As I plan for my wedding, a big milestone, and a celebration of love, it brings up a lot of emotions, for us, as a couple, and for family and friends who are on this journey with us. We’ve had some spontaneous beautiful moments that all center around love. Our conversations have often gone to memories of new beginnings, of birth, of heartfelt moments, and endings, but through it all, the through line to all of those moments and memories is love. We look for love, are attracted to love and, hopefully, give love. There’s a reason why so my songs have been written about it, and according to The Beatles, “Love Is All You Need.” We probably need more than just love, but love is the center of most things we do, it is something that motivates us, challenges us, and for some of us, something we are constantly searching for.

I had a friend share with me a near death experience she had, she described it in detail, but what has always stayed with me is her describing how she felt in the place her soul went, she said to me, the only way to describe how I felt where was was love, but that doesn’t even come close to the feeling, she said, what I felt doesn’t exist here on earth, and I think we are always searching for it, and the closest thing we have here is love. I think we do always look for love, or gravitate toward it, and why not, for the most part, it feels great, to give it and receive it, but the love I’ve found for myself is the love that allows me to fully enjoy the love around me.

For most of my life I hated myself, there was no love, I was full of anxiety and self-hatred for who I thought I was and that dominated my thoughts and actions. That self-hatred stood in the way of most true love that I had in my life because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I loved to the best of my ability, but I only let it get so far out of fear I wasn’t good enough or it would be taken away. When I made the commitment to get well I was faced with that self-hatred and told I had to learn to love myself, the voices in my head screamed, YOU CAN’T! But anything is possible when we are willing, and with a determination to get well I set out to find the love within myself. It was difficult at the start, I was at a place where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, never mind find things within myself to love, but was challenged, each day, to find those things, or on many days, just one thing, to start. And like anything, the most difficult task is always to start, but as I started to shift my focus from the bad to the good, I slowly started finding more things to love about myself, and it was slow, but it happened. I had to be mindful, and still do, each day to keep my heart in a place of gratitude, because that was, and is, where my love comes from, and grows.

As human beings we seem to be on the search for love most often, we instinctively gravitate toward it, when we are able to find it in ourselves or except it from others. And perhaps there is something to my friend’s story, I’ve heard similar stories from others, that we, deep in our souls, search for it because it brings us closer to what we know, to God, or a spiritual connection, or to a place we feel safe.

Open yourself to love, and find the love within yourself, appreciate that love and who you are, and share that love with others. Love really can heal, it can perform miracles, and it can bring joy to even those who just witness it. Spread your love today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you able to find the love within yourself? If not, why not? If yes, how do you find it and what does it feel like for you? Have you always had this love or have you had to go seeking it within? How did you do that? If you haven’t found love within yourself, how can you, today, begin looking for it? How do you feel when you receive it? Or, give it? Focus on that feeling SLAYER, and look for that love inside yourself, it may just start with you imagining how it feels with others and imagining that within. It starts with a spark and if you continue to feed it, that spark becomes a burning flame.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What picture are you painting today?

SLAY on!

state-of-slay Paint

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you let go you make space for something better.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Pink Starting Today

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be willing to do, willing to create a positive result.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Willingness Opens The Door

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You owe yourself the same love you so freely give to others.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Name Yourself

Feeling Bad Doesn’t Mean You’re A Bad Person

Before walking this path I thought I was a bad person. Because I felt bad and was thinking bad thoughts I thought that made me a bad person. What I didn’t realize back then is that I had an untreated disease that was centered in my mind, a disease that constantly fed me bad thoughts and was working every day to keep me believing I was a bad person who only deserved bad things. Any time I did or said something that could be labeled bad my disease stood up and yelled SEE,”just in case I hadn’t yet got the point. It took a lot to let go of the belief that I was a bad person, and even more work to realize that if I do feel bad, that doesn’t mean that I’m bad.

Our thoughts and minds can be our worst enemies. Most of us would never tolerate what we think and say to ourselves from anyone else. And yet, we can tear ourselves down daily without questioning why or fighting back. For me, I let it beat me down until I almost didn’t have any fight left, or hope, but was fortunate to find just a flicker of it when I needed it most. On my journey of recovery I had to throw out my old ideas and learn new ones, ones that would build me up instead of tear me down, and I had to let go of the idea that feeling bad made me bad. Feelings aren’t facts. Just because we feel something doesn’t make it true. We sometimes feel fear when there is nothing to be afraid of, we can feel hurt when nothing was done to us, or we can feel sad for no reason whatsoever. Our feelings, at times, can deceive us, they’re not always what they appear to be, and can be rooted in something else entirely, or, have been received through our own perception and a filter of our choosing, perhaps not based in reality at all, but there to allow us to continue to tell the narrative we wish to tell. Feelings can trick us if we’re not in tune with our emotions and receiving them for what they are, so it’s important to not let them define us.

We all have days when our minds might bend to the side of negative, or we’re agitated, but those thoughts or feelings are not who you are, even if you go through a period of time feeling them, you get to decide who you are, you are in charge, and feeling something doesn’t mean you are pigeon-holed into only being that one thing. I was able to let go of my perception of being a bad person by thinking of my feelings like the clouds, they come and go, pass by, some are white and fluffy, some are pink, and, some are dark and menacing, but none of them stay in one place for long, and I would never define the sky as only having clouds that look one way. Our feelings too are like the clouds in the sky, they change, they come and go, but behind them is still the beauty that remains, the beauty that is always there, even when we can’t see it.

What you feel is not what you are. Allow yourself to have bad thoughts without labeling yourself a bad person. Find out where these feelings come from, why they come, and when, and you might just find your key to letting those bad feelings pass. Look up at the sky today SLAYER, and watch the clouds pass by to reveal the blue skies ahead. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you label yourself a bad person if you think or feel bad thoughts? Why do you think you do this? What do you think or feel? Why? Are these feelings based in fact? Where do they come from? How can you let them go? Does it serve you to hang onto them? Does it hurt you to hang onto them? Do you think you’re a bad person? Why? What, in your eyes, makes you a bad person? We’ve all done, said, and thought things that might be labeled bad, but it only makes us a bad person if we believe we are. You have the opportunity, at any given time, to shed that bad label you’ve given yourself and be who you truly are, and if you’re not sure who that is, why not start today on your journey to find out.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your mind is a very powerful thing.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Powerful Minds

Powerful Mind

I was speaking with someone the other day and sharing that I had strained my neck. I was feeling a lot of discomfort and stiffness which brought up feelings from a past car accident I had two years ago yesterday. We have talked, in the past, about not retelling the story of the accident, as it doesn’t serve me to do so, and it causes my mind and body to relive the events of that day and the weeks and months following it. I explained to her how I strained it and she stopped me, and told me to focus on my neck feeling good, not how badly I was actually feeling in the moment. I often talk about focusing on the positive, and I do do that, but sometimes I forget just how powerful our minds really are, and that we do have the capability to heal much of what bothers us when we choose to believe it has already happened and we can visualize ourselves in that place. Now, obviously there are cases where a medical attention or mental health experts are needed, but we have much more power in our minds than we realize.

I took what she said to heart, as she is actually an expert in her field, and I began to do what I know to do physically for my neck, but also consciously thinking and envisioning it feeling great and moving the way it should. I started Friday afternoon and by Monday I was pretty much back to normal, which seems somewhat surprising seeing as I was in tremendous pain last week and had lost mobility in my neck and shoulders. Now, getting treatment Friday put me on the right path physically, but I truly believe that much of my recovery has been centered in my mind. Now, whether my positive thoughts did help me recover faster or not, I’ve been reminded about my own power as I navigate through life and plan on continuing to make a conscious effort to use my own power to not only think positive thoughts, but to tell my body how it feels at any given moment instead of succumbing to what I think it’s telling me. If I feel tired, I will concentrate and tell myself I am rested, ready to tackle the day, and have the energy to do what needs to be done. If I am afraid, I will tell myself I have courage and am confident I can achieve what I am setting out to do. When I think of my future, the great unknown, I will tell myself I have a bright and promising future and that many great things are waiting for me. Even just typing those last few sentences I already feel a boost of positivity and energy.

Coming from a place, years ago, of negative thinking and negative self-talk, I know the power our words have on ourselves, so why not use that power for good? For me, I am making a commitment to ramp up my positive thoughts and put them into action, not just think them, to make real changes in my life. Like anything else, the more we practice a technique or way of life, the better and easier it becomes, so I am careful not to judge myself if my old thinking, or even a current state of being comes through that doesn’t fit into that encouraging positive mold, I can just acknowledge it and get back to work!

It’s time to tell our mind, body and spirit we’re great, and to keep ourselves in a productive positive place to best serve us and those around us. Many of us do have obstacles to overcome, but we can, or perhaps just lessen them, by getting our powerful minds to work for us instead of against us. In my mind, you’ve already done it, and you’re doing it beautifully. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you realize the power of your own thoughts? How has being positive, and thinking positive turned into positive results for you? How have negative thoughts affected you? Do you consciously work thinking in a positive way, envisioning positive outcomes for yourself? If not, why not? If yes, how have you seen the results in your life? Center yourself, focus on the power of your mind, and send a message to it and your body that you are more than OK and ready to win!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Learning To Accept Rejection

Rejection used to devastate me. I would let it destroy my day, my relationships and my spirit. I gave rejection the power to validate me and value my place in this world. And I let it hurt me, and, at times, invited it to.  Sometimes, I sought it out to hurt myself, to continue telling the narrative that I was a bad person who didn’t deserve good things. It was a constant internal battle, of me striving to reach goals and maintain healthy relationships in my life and me, subconsciously, wanting to tear it all down. I had to learn to accept rejection, and, learn not to use it as a personal weapon of assault.

When I was living in the dark, I constantly fought to find some light. I would muster any kind of postivity and hope I could, but there was always an underlying layer of doubt that would block me from ever fully believing I could attain what it was I was looking or working for. I also believed back then that rejection was the universe telling me I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve what it was I wanted, and I let that belief continue to push me down into depression and despair. As I began to take the road of recovery and started to get better, I realized that rejection is nothing more than a change in direction. Sometimes it is there to save us from heading somewhere we shouldn’t be, or from a situation that may be harmful to us. It’s not always easy for us to see what rejection may be saving us from, but there have been many times, when I’ve looked back, where I was able to see how it had, and so in times that I may feel hurt or angry over not getting what I had wanted, I can lean on the faith that I have that I am being directed in the right direction and that that rejection was just that, a redirection, it wasn’t there to tell me I wasn’t good enough to have succeeded or have gotten what I wanted, but that I may have been looking in the wrong place. That negative chatter in our heads will always try to convince us otherwise, but it has ulterior motives, to keep us down. When we make a conscious effort to change our thinking, we can learn to look at rejection as something that may actually be helping us, showing us the way, teaching us, or letting us know where we need to improve or work a little harder, none of that is bad, if we choose to look at it as a tool to help us. I previously wrote a blog called, The Universe Is On Your Side, where I talk about living life as if it’s rigged in your favor, now I realize it doesn’t always seem that way, but when we choose to look at life’s rejections as guidance, we may be able to see how things aren’t as stacked up against us we think, or have been lead to believe.

Look for opportunities to make the rejections in your life tools to help you and show you the way. Don’t listen to that negative self-talk that tells you you’re not good enough or don’t deserve what you’re wanting and working for, counter that talk with some constructive chatter that allows you to look for another opportunity or place where you can share the best of what you’ve got, also allowing those moments to teach you and encourage you to learn and continue to improve in areas that will help to get you to where you want to go. Rejection, in many cases, may be a blessing, as they may be saving you from an even worse situation, or a place you are not meant to be in. Trust that the rejection in your life is there for a reason, and use that opportunity to explore where you should be going next. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let rejection get you down? Do you expect rejection in your life? If yes, why? When has rejection, looking back, actually saved you from something? What was that? How has it helped you to grow or learn? Has it pushed you to work harder or improve areas in your life? How? Do you see how rejection may be there to show you where to go and not go? Do you see how it can be, in many cases, a positive thing? How has it been positive in your life? Allowing ourselves to get beaten down by rejection is just a form of self-harm, allowing those negative places within us to take over and pull us into the darkness, take your power back and refuse to believe that place within us that feeds off negativity, allow the light to come in and choose to let rejection be a positive influence in your life, guiding you to where you are meant to be and allowing you to work to be your best self.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you