Good morning SLAYERS! Demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally, to yourself. As you do you will attract others into your life who will also love you without conditions.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
compassion
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never walk away from the one who truly matters, you.
SLAY on!
Don’t Abandon Yourself
Before stepping on this path I abandoned myself every day. I did it for years. I stopped caring about myself and let my toxic thoughts run my life. It was like I just left the front door open and was daring someone to come in and take everything that was left because I placed no value on what I had to offer. It was a pretty awful way to live, if you could call it living. I was just the shell of a person going through the motions of life, doing what I could to seem normal on the outside, while I was dying on the inside. Until one night, just one random night, when I found myself at the darkest place you can get to, I got really scared, and I finally asked for help. I didn’t realize until I started to get better that I had abandoned myself years before, I had given up, not thought I was worthy, and just left myself there with nothing to defend myself. Looking back it makes me sad to think I did that, because now I am so fiercely protective of who I am and what I stand for, but I did, and I’m not the only one. Why do we abandon ourselves, the one person we should be there for, show up for, and support through thick and thin, why do we walk away from the one person who should mean the most?
For me it started when I began to believe that I wasn’t worthy of the good. That I was less than. That I was weird and awkward, and if you got to know the real me you wouldn’t like me. That’s where it started, and that thinking took me down a very dark path. Because I didn’t believe in myself, I started to do things that I wasn’t proud of, keeping those things a secret, hiding them, and me, from the people who loved and cared about me, which perpetuated my narrative of me being someone who didn’t deserve good things. That lead me to thinking I was a bad person, which led to worse behavior, self-destructive behavior, which brought me down even darker paths, and so on, until I had gotten myself to a place so dark and so alone that even I didn’t want to be there with myself.
We are the only ones who can fight for us. Sure, people can stand up for us, but if we don’t believe we deserve it, or can attain it, it doesn’t do us much good to have a cheering section when we don’t believe should be cheered for. We have to cheer for ourselves, believe in ourselves and fight for ourselves. No matter what anyone says or does, if we don’t believe what is being said it will fall on deaf ears, it will do us no good, because no one else can do the work for us. Now, I certainly have learned to love myself because others loved me first, they showed I was lovable and worthy of love, but I had to find my own self-love or I wouldn’t still be here, I had to find that flame inside of myself and had to learn to fan it so it could grow bigger. I had to show up for myself. I did that by telling people my truth, by getting help, by finding a group of people who were also fighting the same fight I was, I had to be open to try new things, and I had to try to stand up for my well-being and mental health. It wasn’t easy at first, and I had a lot of help in the beginning, but each time I did I gained more self-esteem, more self-worth and more self-love. Each time I was able to show up for myself my flame got brighter, and as it did I got a lot more protective of it because I had fought to get it to burn bright after living in the darkness so long.
No one is worth fighting for more than you are. It is up to you to stand by who you are and for yourself, to encourage, to love, to be proud of your true self. Don’t walk away from the most important human being there is, you, you are worth fighting for. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are there times you feel you abandoned yourself? When? Why? Would you choose today to take different actions? What are they? Why do you think you abandoned yourself? Where did that thinking come from? Is that information true today? Was it ever true? How are you different from the person who abandoned themselves? How are you the same? Do you still struggle with this? Why do you think you do? Write down 5 reasons that you should fight for you. Look at those reasons at times when you feel you are backing down, when you are not standing up for who you are and fighting for what you believe. No one has the power that you do to support, love, and give strength to yourself, even if it’s just a small gesture, do something today to show yourself that you have not abandoned yourself. Show yourself some love SLAYER.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The lessons are right in front of us, you just have to be willing to learn.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
When You Have The Understanding, You No Longer Need The Experience
Before I started to walk in this path I was often heard saying, “why do these things always happen to me,” I felt like I was in the movie GROUNDHOG DAY, always seeming to find my way in similar places and problems and not understanding how I kept getting there. Well, I kept finding myself in the same situations because I hadn’t grasped the understanding of how I kept getting there, or how to get myself out.
The universe will keep sending us the same people, places and things until we learn what we’re supposed to learn from them. And sometimes, it can send us the same things wrapped in a different package, just to make sure we got it. I’ve found, in my life, that happens with different types of people, they may look different, but the nice package is just wrapping up the same gift, and it’s up to me to get past the pretty wrapping to see that it’s already something I’ve sent back.
In a way, now, I look at the moments when I kept asking why my gift. It was a gift that I recognized the same situations or type of people kept popping into my life, but it was about taking the right action and using that gift to my advantage. Now when it happens, I know right away, and I know what I have to do, because I’ve done it before. Identifying the patterns of life, or our patterns, is where we want to be, because when we notice any kind of negativity popping up, we can do something about it. As I always say, when “bad” things happen, it’s really just information, life is showing us what we’re supposed to see and do, and so when it does, we need to take action in a way that’s loving to ourselves and that honors us.
I’ve found that once I make the change in my behavior, or correct my actions from the past, those situations no longer pop up in my life. It goes back to my blog “Level Up,” we move up to the next level, as it were, because the universe believes we are ready for the next chapter and what’s to come. Sometimes that can be frustrating, like life is always testing us, challenging us, by throwing obstacles in our way, and, making life harder than it needs to be, but, those tests and challenges make us who we are, they give us stamina, strength, and the courage to keep moving forward and challenging ourselves even m ore. It’s those victories that propel us to where we are supposed to go next. It’s those victories that become our foundation from which we can continue to grow.
There is a plan for us, we may not know what it is, and many times, might not understand what path we’re on, but nothing happens in life by mistake, even the mistakes, it’s all designed to get us where we’re supposed to go and be who we’re supposed to be, so the sooner we stop fighting that, fighting for our own way, fighting to have things done when we want them, the sooner life will start to roll out the way it’s supposed to, and the sooner we’ll have piece of mind from not fighting it. It goes back to finding a healthy dose of faith, faith that the universe has your back and wants the best for you, faith that you can handle whatever comes your way, and faith that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust the journey SLAYER, let go and look for understanding in the places you find yourself, as soon as you do, you may have earned yourself a way out of having to relive that situation again. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often find yourself in similar situations? Do you feel like you are a victim of these situations? Do you see the patterns of your own decisions or actions that have gotten you there? What can you do to stop yourself from getting there again? What do those patterns teach you? What patterns of your past have you stopped or changed? How did you do that? What patterns would you like to change? How can you start to do that? You can SLAYER, you can choose to look at the people, places and things that you don’t like and change those patterns in your life, you can make different choices, better choices, more loving choices, and, you can say goodbye to those things that no longer serve you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You never know when your words will impact someone’s life forever. Choose to be a positive impact, choose your words wisely.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Wicked Words
We all remember the phrase from childhood, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” well, there are a few variations of that, but it’s meaning, or intention, that words can’t hurt is false. Words, when used as weapons, can hurt deeply, and for many years after, even, sometimes, a lifetime. I remember saying this as a child, puffing up my chest like it was some sort of shield that could deflect the bad names or words and just bounce off me, and from the outside, those doing the name-calling, might have thought they were bouncing off me, but, they weren’t. Those names, those labels, insults, stayed with me for many years, as much as I told myself they weren’t true, I believed them and I let them weigh me down.
The things people say, when they’re meant to hurt, is verbal abuse. As kids things are said on the playground and it’s dismissed as just kids being kids, but it’s that type of behavior, that bully mentality, that sets a precedent, as does shying away from confrontation by the one receiving the insults. It’s hard to break out of being the victim when we are constantly told we are less-than, different, weird, worthless, ugly. Those words do damage, lasting damage, that can affect us for a lifetime if we don’t deal with it.
Ultimately words can only hurt us if we let them. If we don’t believe in what is being said, we will just shrug it off and see it for what it is, someone else who’s feeling less-than trying to pump up their own ego but putting us down. Typically, that’s all that’s going on. Or, someone else showing their fear because we may be threatened them in some way, just by being ourselves. In any case, if someone else has a problem with us, it is their problem, and as much as they will try to put the focus on us, it’s really them who should be in the spotlight for their bad behavior. But, a lot of the time, we take on that burden, believing what is said, or letting it cast a seed of doubt about who we are and if we’re worthy. We are worthy, and going back to the childhood rhyme, we shouldn’t let someone else’s words hurt us, and truthfully they can’t, unless we let them.
This all goes back to self-love, I know, it typically does, but it truly is the foundation of living a healthy and productive life. If we love ourselves and honor ourselves, someone mouthing off and saying a bunch of unflattering things about us that aren’t true isn’t going to hurt us, it may cause us to feel sorry for that person, or find some compassion for them, but we can see, when we don’t take it personally, where those insults are coming from, it’s how they see themselves. When we love ourselves we can see the truth in where the hate or bad behavior is coming from and we can separate ourselves from it, take ourselves out of the equation, because really, we were never really in it in the first place, it was always all about them.
But going to back to times when we were vulnerable to them, it’s time to let them go. It’s time to prove to ourselves that we are not those things, to believe it, to own it, to live our lives as us, not matter what anyone has to say about it. We are only accountable to ourselves, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant, I mean, of course we want people to like us, but it’s not our job to get them to do so if they don’t. Just be you. And when you comfortable just being you, you can work to let those words go from the past, or even present, if someone in your life today tells you you aren’t worthy. When we know who we are, and love who we are, those words can’t hurt us, they can bruise us on a day when we might be feeling sensitive, but we can shake it off, when we love ourselves that is our armor, so sticks, stones, and, any insults hurled our way, will bounce right off of our chest…and hopefully right back at the one who hurled them. A girl can wish anyway. Armor up with self-love SLAYER!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let other people’s opinions of you shape the opinion you have of yourself? Are there things that were said to you as a child still haunt you today? What things? Are these things true SLAYER? Are they true today? They are likely not. So let them go, let them fall away, they are of no use to you. Are there things said to you today that hurt you? Who’s saying them? Why do you let them? Do you believe them? Why? Those words can only hurt you if you believe they are true, they are not. Write down 5 qualities that you love about yourself. Say them out loud. That is who you are SLAYER. Remind yourself of all the good you are, and let someone else’s opinion remain that way, someone else’s. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Let go of your hurt. Give yourself permission to feel, to grieve, to feel angry, but then exhale, and learn to let it go. Nothing from our past should have power over us today.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Hello SLAYER! Weren’t able to join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE?
No problem, here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never let anyone convince you that you aren’t worthy of love, respect and happiness. You are.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
