Mental Health

No One Knows What Happens Quietly

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things we don’t see. The pain people carry. The stories they don’t share. The struggles that never make it to the surface.

Because the truth is, no one knows what happens quietly.

Behind the Brave Face

When I was living in the dark, I wore a mask. Every day, I put on a brave face and told the world I was fine—even though I was anything but.

It became a reflex. A way to survive.

And I know I’m not alone in that.

We live in a world where “I’m fine” is often code for “I’m barely holding it together.” And it’s easy to miss the signs. It’s easy to take people at face value and forget that everyone is carrying something.

So now, when I interact with someone—whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or the person ringing up my groceries—I try to remember that I have no idea what they might be going through. I might be stepping into their quiet moment.

Hitting the Pause Button

I’m not perfect at this. There are days when someone’s energy or reaction triggers me, too. But I try to pause. To not react out of my own pain or assumptions.

Because the truth is, sometimes someone’s anger, withdrawal, or silence isn’t about me at all. It’s a symptom of something deeper. Something they haven’t said. Something they feel they can’t say.

That’s why compassion matters.

That’s why curiosity matters.

And that’s why I try to lead with both.

When We Stay Quiet, We Suffer Alone

One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve learned is this:

When people don’t feel safe enough to speak their truth, they often believe they have no way out.

Not just emotionally—but tragically, sometimes, physically.

When we silence our pain—out of fear, shame, or the belief that no one will understand—it festers. And in that silence, so many people feel hopeless, isolated, and unseen.

They start to believe the lie that their story is too much… that they are too much.

And when there’s no outlet, no connection, no safe space to speak from the darkness,
some believe the only way to end their pain is to end everything.

That’s why sharing your story matters.

Because when you let someone see your truth, you give them permission to share theirs.
You remind them that connection is still possible.
That healing isn’t something they have to do alone.

Your vulnerability can be someone else’s lifeline.

And their story might just help you, too.

Be the Safe Space

The world can be loud. But people’s pain often isn’t.

So as you move through your day, try to remember:

You may be stepping into someone’s quiet.
Their unspoken grief. Their silent struggle. The story they haven’t found words for yet.

Be gentle.
Be kind.
Be the space where it’s safe to take the mask off.

And if you’re the one wearing the mask today—I see you. I’ve been you. And you are not alone.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Have you ever told someone you were “fine” when you weren’t?
  • What were you really feeling underneath?
  • Do you assume the worst when someone reacts strongly—or do you pause to consider what they might be carrying?
  • How can you be more compassionate to the quiet struggles of others?
  • What would it take for you to speak honestly about your own?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you stay compassionate when you don’t know someone’s full story?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s support each other with softness.

And if you know someone who’s struggling in silence, send this to them.
Sometimes, a small act of kindness says: “I see you.”

Slay Say

The Path Is Through the Dark

Some days the light feels far away. You’re tired, uncertain, questioning whether you have it in you to keep going. But this is when the shift begins—not by chasing the light, but by standing still in the dark and facing what’s there.

Healing doesn’t just happen in the light—it begins the moment you stop running from your shadows and decide to meet yourself in the dark.

You won’t find the light by avoiding the dark. You’ll find it by healing your way through it. The light isn’t the starting point—it’s the result. It’s the reward. The proof that you met yourself, did the work, and rose from what tried to hold you down.

This is your reminder to meet yourself where you are—your healing is the key to the light.

A black and white quote that says: "Healing begins when you stop running from your shadows and face yourself with honesty."

Let Them

This one hits close to home.
Because for a long time, I didn’t know how to let people be who they are.
I was always trying to manage, to steer, to shape the outcome I wanted.
Even when it was wrapped in good intentions, it was still control.

The truth is, trying to change someone—whether it’s their behavior, their choices, or how they show up—only leaves you drained, resentful, and disappointed.
Why? Because it’s not your job.
It never was.

The moment I truly understood that…
The moment I stopped trying to micromanage other people’s lives, reactions, or growth…
Was the moment I started finding peace.

The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything

Let them.

Let them say what they want.
Let them make their choices.
Let them believe what they believe.
Let them walk away—or come back—or stay exactly the same.

Because it’s not your responsibility to make someone become who you want them to be.
And it’s not your failure when they don’t.

The need to control others is often rooted in fear.
Fear of abandonment.
Fear of chaos.
Fear that if someone doesn’t change, you won’t be okay.

But guess what?
You will be okay.
Because your peace, your healing, your worth—none of it depends on someone else getting it right.

Expectations Are Heavy

Most of us don’t realize how much energy we spend trying to get someone to meet our expectations.
We want them to act differently, to love better, to show up the way we imagined they would.

And when they don’t?
We get frustrated.
We get hurt.
We spiral.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
They never agreed to those expectations.

They’re being who they are.
And we’re the ones trying to rewrite their character in our story.

What if instead of trying to change them—we just let them?

Letting Go Is a Boundary

“Let them” isn’t passive.
It’s powerful.

It’s not about giving up.
It’s about letting go of what was never yours to hold in the first place.

Let them be who they are—so you can stay rooted in who you are.

It’s a boundary.
A decision to protect your energy by not chasing down someone else’s growth.

When you stop investing in the outcome you wish for and start accepting the truth of what is, you reclaim your power.

You also make space for people who can meet you where you are.
Who choose to show up.
Who don’t need to be changed, convinced, or coerced.

Peace Lives in Acceptance

Let them believe the lie.
Let them ghost you.
Let them not understand your heart.
Let them leave the group chat.
Let them love someone else.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them think they’re right.
Let them talk behind your back.

And while they do?

Let yourself grow.
Let yourself feel.
Let yourself heal.
Let yourself move on.
Let yourself love without attachment.
Let yourself stay soft and strong at the same time.

You are not here to force alignment.
You are here to be aligned—with yourself.

SLAY Reflection: Where Are You Holding On Too Tightly?

  1. Who in your life are you trying to manage, fix, or control?
    What are you hoping to change—and why?
  2. How has that effort affected your peace, energy, or self-worth?
    What are you losing in the process?
  3. What would it look like to “let them” be exactly who they are?
    What fear comes up when you consider that?
  4. How can you create a boundary that protects your energy without trying to change theirs?
    What could you gain by stepping back?
  5. What’s one relationship or situation where “letting them” would bring you more emotional freedom?
    How can you start that shift today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve learned to let someone be who they are—and how did that shift your peace?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s holding on too tightly, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Your Best Yes Might Be the One That Scares You

It’s easy to say yes when you feel prepared, qualified, and ready.
But what about the yes that feels uncertain? The one that makes you pause and think, “Can I even do this?”

I’ve learned over the years that these are often the most important yeses—the ones that lead you somewhere you never expected, but exactly where you’re supposed to be.

For me, some of the best things in my life have happened because I said yes even when I wasn’t sure. Even when I doubted myself. Even when it was something I’d never done before.

Those yeses have taught me that courage often comes before confidence.

Saying Yes Before You Feel Ready (I Never Felt Ready Either)

If I had waited until I felt fully ready, I would have missed out on so many opportunities that shaped me.

There have been roles I’ve taken, projects I’ve joined, and events I’ve spoken at where my first instinct was, “Why me? I’ve never done this before.”
But then I’d hear this little voice reminding me:
“Just say yes. You’ll figure it out.”

And you know what? I always did. Maybe not perfectly. But growth never is.

Every time I said yes, I walked away with more than I expected—new skills, new friends, new perspectives.
You become ready by doing. Not by waiting.

The Unexpected Gifts of Taking a Chance

Some of my favorite experiences started with a hesitant yes.

  • Saying yes to a random opportunity led me to discover a new creative passion.
  • Saying yes to a conversation with someone I barely knew turned into a meaningful friendship.
  • Saying yes to a project that felt way out of my league ended up teaching me things I didn’t even know I was capable of.

If I had stayed in my comfort zone, I would have missed out on all of it.

What I’ve learned is that sometimes, that scary yes is simply the universe nudging you toward something bigger.

When Yes Isn’t About the Destination

One thing I’ve come to believe is this:
Not every yes is meant to be the grand finale.
Sometimes, it’s just meant to get you moving.

There have been plenty of times when saying yes didn’t lead me exactly where I thought it would.
But it got me out the door. It opened a new door. It connected me to people and places I wouldn’t have found otherwise.

Your yes doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be intentional.
You’re not committing to a lifetime. You’re committing to the next step.

Brave Yes vs. Reckless Yes: Here’s How I Tell the Difference

Let me be real—I’ve said yes to things for the wrong reasons too.
Guilt. People-pleasing. Fear of missing out.

Those yeses? They don’t feel good. They drain you.

But the brave yes?
That’s the one that feels a little scary but also exciting. The one that stretches you in the right way. The one your gut says “this could be good for me” even if your brain is panicking a little.

Now, I pause and ask myself:

  • Am I saying yes because I’m afraid of disappointing someone?
  • Or am I saying yes because it aligns with who I’m becoming?

That pause makes all the difference.

Growth Lives on the Other Side of Yes

Every time I’ve stepped into something new, even when it terrified me, I’ve grown.
Not just in skills or experiences, but in how I see myself.

By saying yes, I’ve learned to trust myself more.
To know that I can figure things out.
That even if I stumble, I’ll get back up stronger.

That’s what your best yes does—it helps you grow into the next version of you.

What’s Your Best Yes? Final Thoughts

Here’s what I want you to know:
You don’t have to feel fully ready to say yes.
You don’t have to know exactly how it will turn out.

Sometimes, your best yes is the one that simply gets you moving.
The one that introduces you to a new part of yourself.
The one that reminds you—you’re more capable than you think.

So, what’s the yes you’ve been hesitating on?
It might just be the beginning of something amazing.

Your Turn: Reflect & Take Action

Now it’s your turn. Take a moment and think about these questions:

  1. What opportunity have you been hesitating to say yes to because it feels outside your comfort zone?
    What’s really holding you back?
  2. Think of a time when you said yes even though you were unsure.
    What did you gain from that experience?
  3. What’s one small, brave yes you can give yourself this week?
    A chance to grow, connect, or simply show up differently.
  4. How do you personally tell the difference between a reckless yes and a brave yes?
    What does your body or intuition tell you?
  5. Who or what could benefit from you saying yes to yourself right now?
    Remember, your courage is contagious.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s the yes you’re ready to say, even if it scares you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s standing on the edge of a yes, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

New Podcast Episode Alert

Slayers, I’ve got something super special to share with you today! I had the absolute joy and honor of being a guest on the Girls Talk Healthy Aging podcast, and the episode just dropped!

🎙️ Episode 80: “Discovering Your True Self: With Carrie Genzel”
Hosted by the dynamic duo Alli Kerr and Shawna Kaminski, this conversation dives deep into authenticity, self-discovery, and the journey of aligning with who you truly are.

We talked about embracing our evolving selves, shedding the labels and expectations that no longer serve us, and how I’ve navigated my own path—personally, spiritually, and creatively. It’s raw, real, and full of the kind of honest talk I know you come here for.

Whether you’re in a season of reinvention or simply curious about the ways we grow and show up fully in our truth, this episode is for YOU.

Here’s how you can listen: 👉 Spotify

👇 YouTube version embedded right here so you can watch/listen:

I’m so grateful to Alli and Shawna for holding such a beautiful, open space and allowing me to share my story. Give it a listen, and if it speaks to you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Slay On!

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. While some areas may be currently able to connect to the Lifeline by dialing 988, this dialing code will be available to everyone across the United States starting on July 16, 2022.

If you feel like you are in crisis or want to speak with a caring individual call/text 988 or go to 988lifeline.org to chat online.

You matter. You are not alone. There is help. Reach out.

Suicide Prevention Week

Hey SLAYERS, September 5 – 11th is Suicide Prevention Week and I am always honored to work with Attitudes In Reverse® in spreading a message of good mental health and suicide prevention. I was recently asked while Zooming into an AIR event what I do to combat my fear. Please find my response below:

Actress Carrie Genzel Shares Her Coping Strategies During the Pandemic

Continue reading →

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The potential for greatness lives within each of us. 

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

Release The Need To Judge Yourself Negatively

Why are we always so hard on ourselves?

We hold ourselves to impossible standards, judge our every move, and then wonder why we feel stuck, small, and not good enough.
We speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to someone else—calling ourselves idiots, failures, brain-dead, or worse.

And we may not even realize we’re doing it.
That inner dialogue becomes so automatic, so embedded in our thinking, that the jabs feel normal.
But they’re not.
And worse—they’re harmful.

Those words don’t just disappear.
They settle into our energy, into our nervous system, into the way we show up in the world.
And over time, they become the very thing that holds us back from becoming who we are meant to be.

The Judgments That Keep Us Stuck

Before I began my journey in recovery, I judged myself constantly.

Nothing I did was ever “good enough.”
Even when I succeeded, I’d discredit it—call it luck, minimize the achievement, or immediately nitpick what wasn’t perfect.

My expectations were so high, they were built to break me.
And they did. Over and over.

The voice in my head wasn’t just critical—it was cruel.
It kept me sick. It convinced me I’d never be enough. It told me to give up before I even tried.
And I believed it.
I lived inside that mental prison for years.

I’d get these little bursts of self-confidence, moments where I felt like maybe I could do something great.
But the voice always returned—louder, meaner, and more persuasive.
It was a cycle that drained me and kept me from healing.

The Turning Point: Choosing to Get Better

When I finally made the decision to seek help, one of the first things I had to face was my own thinking.

I had to get honest about the way I spoke to myself.
And what I discovered?
I had become my own worst bully.

If anyone else had said the things I said to myself, I never would have stood for it.
So why was I allowing it to happen in my own mind?

That realization changed everything.

I began to:

  • Forgive myself for the judgment
  • Unlearn the habit of self-abuse
  • Practice self-compassion, even when it felt unfamiliar
  • Focus on progress, not perfection

And slowly, something started to shift.
The voice got quieter.
The harsh words faded.
And I started to celebrate myself—for real.

Make Room for Grace

No one gets it right all the time.
We all make mistakes.
We all fall short sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean we’re failures.
It means we’re human.

Mistakes are how we grow.
They help us refine our goals, improve our preparation, and get clearer on what we really want.

And when you set realistic goals—ones that allow for learning, flexibility, and growth—you give yourself a chance to succeed.
Even the smallest win becomes a reason to celebrate.

You Are a Work in Progress (And That’s a Good Thing)

You are not the voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough.
You are not your mistakes.
You are not your worst day.

You are a work in progress—a beautiful, evolving human being.
And your job is not to be perfect.
Your job is to keep going.

So speak to yourself with kindness.
Encourage yourself like you would a best friend.
Celebrate every step, every shift, every bit of progress.

You’re doing better than you think.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You Speak to You?

  1. Do you judge yourself harshly?
    How does that show up in your thoughts or self-talk?
  2. What do you tell yourself when you make a mistake or fall short?
    Would you say the same to someone you love?
  3. How has your inner critic held you back?
    Where would you be if that voice got quieter?
  4. What daily habit could help you be kinder to yourself?
    Affirmations, journaling, gratitude?
  5. What can you do today to encourage and celebrate yourself?
    Start now—pick one thing you’re proud of and name it out loud.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one negative thing you’ve told yourself that you’re ready to replace with kindness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with self-judgment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.