Inspiration

No One Ever Injured Their Eyesight Looking At The Brightside

There is always a bright side. Sometimes, it may feel impossible to find—but it’s there if we look for it. Often, we don’t see it until later, when hindsight reveals that not getting what we thought we wanted brought something even better.

But here’s the thing: when we actively choose to seek out the good, the positive, the light—it trains our minds to keep looking. And eventually, it becomes second nature.

We are bombarded by fear and negativity every day. So why not choose the opposite? Why not be intentional about focusing on what’s working, what’s good, and what’s worth celebrating?

How I Found the Bright Side

Before I began walking this path, I lived in a negative world—one fueled by fear, shame, and pain.

The light didn’t last long in those days. I had fleeting moments of brightness, but the clouds of my own mind would roll in and dim it. I always defaulted to the worst-case scenario, and even when something good happened, I’d immediately brace for when it would be taken away.

My hope lived in superficial things—external markers I clung to like a lifeline. If something bright appeared, it was often a distraction rather than a shift. And because it wasn’t rooted in anything lasting, it never stuck around.

Recovery changed that. It taught me to start with gratitude. To look for moments of light. And when I couldn’t feel it? To write it down anyway. Even on my darkest days, I could find one thing. A kind word. A warm cup of coffee. A song I loved. Those small sparks reminded me that light is always there—we just have to invite it in.

Train Your Eyes to See the Light

Every day, we’re given a choice: focus on the fear or look for the light.

And as someone who has lived in both places, I can tell you—choosing the light is where everything changes.

It’s not about pretending things are perfect. It’s about deciding not to let the darkness win. It’s choosing to see that yes, things may be hard—but they’re not only hard.

The more we practice gratitude and look for the good, the more it shows up. That’s not magic—that’s mindset. And it’s powerful.

Be someone who looks for the bright side. And even better? Be someone who becomes the bright side for someone else.

Our light shines the brightest when we share it.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Choosing to See?

  • Do you tend to focus on the negative or look for the light? What habits shape that tendency?
  • Was there a time in your life when you struggled to find anything good? How did that affect your day-to-day experience?
  • What small moments of light have shown up for you recently? Did you notice them?
  • Has something you once saw as a disappointment turned out to be a blessing?
  • What could shift in your life if you committed to seeing the bright side—just once a day?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re choosing the bright side today—even when it would be easier to stay in the dark?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that it’s still there—waiting to be seen.

How Is Your Now?

Fear can show up in sneaky ways. It did just the other day—while talking with a group of women, someone brought up fear, and we all shifted in our seats.

There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. And with uncertainty often comes fear. But most fear doesn’t live in the present—it lives in the past or the future. That’s what makes it so tricky. It takes us out of the only place where we have power: the now.

When I feel fear creeping in—and I have, especially recently—I bring myself back to the present. I ground myself in gratitude. I focus on my breath. I ask: How is my now?

Because right now, in this moment, I’m okay.

Living Outside the Now

Before I began walking this path, I didn’t live in the now. I lived everywhere but here. I obsessed over what had already happened or worried about what might come next. I was spinning—and because I wasn’t grounded in the present, I couldn’t take meaningful action.

My life became unmanageable. Fear ran the show. And instead of facing what was in front of me, I avoided it. I let things slide. I convinced myself that if I ignored the chaos long enough, it might resolve itself. Spoiler: it didn’t.

Eventually, the only way forward was through. I had to stop hiding from the now and start making peace with it. Slowly, the present stopped feeling like a battlefield and started becoming a place of peace—a space where I could reflect, reset, and realign.

The more I committed to living in the now, the less power fear had over me. It still visits, of course. But today, I don’t let it drive. I stay focused on the moment—and when I do, I can breathe again.

Return to What’s in Front of You

We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We can’t change what’s already happened. But we can choose how we show up today.

Even when life feels uncertain, we can find clarity by focusing on what’s in front of us. One step. One breath. One moment at a time.

This is how we quiet the fear. This is how we get grounded.

And if the now doesn’t feel great? That’s okay. The present is still the place where change can happen. We get to respond differently. We get to choose a new direction.

Ask yourself: How is my now? And if you don’t like the answer, know that this is the best place to begin again.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: How Is Your Now?

  • Do you often get pulled into the past or future? How does that impact your emotional state?
  • What role does fear play in your life when you’re not present?
  • How do you feel when you manage to stay grounded in the now?
  • What tools or habits help you return to the present moment?
  • If today feels heavy, what’s one thing you can do right now to lighten the load?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re bringing yourself back to the now when fear tries to take over?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or uncertainty, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a moment of presence to find our power again.

The Stories From Our Past

Before I began my recovery journey, I lived by stories that weren’t mine. I believed I was different. Less-than. Unworthy of good things. And I made decisions from that place—choosing people and situations that reinforced the story I was already telling myself.

Even the small things stuck. A dismissive comment. A look. A joke that hit too close to home. I internalized those moments and built my identity around them. And as I kept repeating those stories to myself, I gave them power. I let them define me.

When I finally sought help for my mental health, one of the first exercises I was given was to write down all the things I believed about myself. Most were negative. Then came the harder part: asking if those things were actually true.

It turned out, most of them weren’t. They were stories I had inherited. And I had the power to release them.

Telling a New Story

Doing the work—challenging those false beliefs—wasn’t easy. But with time, support, and a lot of self-reflection, I began to rewrite the script.

I started telling myself the truth.

That I’m capable. That I’m worthy. That I’m more than enough.

The stories from my past didn’t disappear. But they no longer control me. Today, I use them as tools. When those old narratives resurface, I pause. I ask myself: Is this true? Is this helping me grow? Is this a story I want to keep?

And if the answer is no, I let it go.

Instead, I choose to tell stories of healing. Of courage. Of growth. I choose relationships that reflect the truth of who I am, not the lies I once believed.

You get to choose your story, too.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What Story Are You Living?

  • Are you holding onto any stories from childhood that no longer serve you?
  • Who or what shaped those beliefs—and are they actually true?
  • What have those stories cost you in your adult life?
  • What’s one belief you could rewrite today?
  • What story would you rather live—and what’s one small step you can take toward it?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one story from your past you’re ready to rewrite?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s still living by an old story that isn’t serving them, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that we’re the ones holding the pen.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! If your dreams don’t scare you they’re too small.

SLAY on!
Follow Your Dreams

Don’t Downsize Your Dreams To Fit Your Reality

We all have dreams—visions of a life we haven’t yet lived, of goals we haven’t yet reached. And yet, when reality feels limiting, we often shrink those dreams down to match it. We tell ourselves we’ll never get there, that we don’t have what it takes, that maybe we’re asking for too much.

But where you are now doesn’t dictate where you can go. That’s not how dreams work. They’re meant to stretch us. To pull us forward. To show us what’s possible.

The Power of Just Starting

Before I began walking this path, I talked myself out of every dream I had. I didn’t believe I was smart enough, capable enough, or worthy of the life I secretly longed for. I let fear stop me before I ever began. And when I did take a step, the first bit of resistance sent me retreating back to the safety of “what I know.”

But staying stuck didn’t make me feel safe—it made me feel miserable.

When I finally reached out for help, I set a goal: to save my own life. That was the first dream I dared to believe in again. And with every small step forward, I began to believe in more. I discovered new passions, found confidence in places I didn’t know existed, and most importantly, I learned that I didn’t need to know every step before I began.

Dreams grow as we grow.

I was told to start with what I had, do the work, and trust that the next right step would appear—and it did. Over and over again. Sometimes I found myself on a different path than I expected, but each detour brought something unexpected and beautiful. That’s the power of saying yes.

Faith, Footwork, and Forward Motion

I’ve accomplished things I once believed were impossible. And I know now that my reality didn’t change because I waited until I was ready. It changed because I started anyway.

You don’t need the perfect plan. You just need a spark of belief and the courage to begin.

When you commit to your growth, when you honor your dreams by taking action—even small steps—you become a magnet for what’s meant for you. The people, opportunities, and resources you need will show up. That’s not just faith. That’s evidence.

Don’t let your current situation trick you into believing it’s permanent. You are allowed to want more. To dream bigger. To build something entirely new.

Let your heart lead you. Trust the pull.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Shrinking Your Dreams?

  • Do you find yourself downplaying your dreams to make them feel more realistic?
  • What would you pursue if you believed it was truly possible?
  • Have you ever taken a leap before? What did it teach you?
  • Who could you talk to or ask for support to help you take the next step?
  • What’s one small action you could take today that brings your dream closer?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one dream you’re ready to honor—no matter where you are right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s holding back on their dreams, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to start anyway.

Carrying A Message Of Hope

It wasn’t a dramatic moment. There were no grand speeches or earth-shattering revelations. Just a quiet, honest story from someone who had been through it, too. A simple retelling of a journey—his lowest lows and the moment he decided to ask for help.

That story gave me the courage to reach out. It was the first spark of hope that told me maybe I didn’t have to stay where I was. Maybe change was possible. Maybe I could begin again.

That is the power of carrying a message of hope. And it’s why I do what I do now.

We All Need a Spark

Hope doesn’t always come with fanfare. Often, it shows up in the form of a shared experience. In someone else’s voice. In a message that says, “You are not alone. I’ve been there, too.”

Especially in challenging times—when life feels uncertain or heavy—those stories matter more than ever. We may feel isolated, ashamed, or like our pain is too much of a burden to place on anyone else. But when someone dares to tell their truth, they give permission for others to speak theirs.

And sometimes, that’s all it takes to change a life.

We weren’t meant to do this alone. I know I couldn’t have walked this path without the people who were willing to share their light when mine had gone dim. Whether it was a friend, a professional, or someone who simply saw me and cared enough to reach out—each one helped carry me forward. Now I do the same.

Your Story Has Power

We often think our story isn’t worth sharing. That it’s too messy, too painful, or not inspirational enough. But that’s not true.

Your story—exactly as it is—might be the one someone else needs to hear. It might be the bridge that helps them cross from fear to courage, from shame to honesty, from isolation to connection. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be real.

Kindness counts. Connection heals. And hope spreads when we pass it on.

Simple Acts, Big Impact

During difficult seasons, I’ve learned to slow down, keep things simple, and focus on the people, practices, and projects that bring me joy. That is what fuels me.

Hope isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet hello. A knowing glance. A kind message. A reminder that someone cares.

Today, offer your story. Offer your presence. Offer your hope. You never know who needs it—including you.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Share the Light

  • Have you ever received hope from someone else’s story? What impact did it have on you?
  • Do you find it easy or difficult to share your truth with others? Why?
  • Is there someone in your life who could benefit from your experience?
  • What stops you from reaching out—and what could help you move through that fear?
  • How can you carry a message of hope in your own way, today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Who carried a message of hope to you—and how are you carrying it forward?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who could use a little light, send this to them.
Sometimes, hope is hiding in someone else’s words.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is something inside of you that is bigger than any obstacle.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Overvalue

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Great

Looking back, there were many times I was afraid to be great. In my heart, I wanted it. In my mind, I believed I did, too. But in the moment—when it counted—something inside me would pull back. I would stop myself, sometimes even sabotage myself, just so I wouldn’t fully step into my potential.

And I always knew. There was a split second where I could’ve chosen differently—but I didn’t. Then I’d beat myself up for it. I’d use it as proof that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t deserve good things. That old narrative was strong, and I was the one keeping it alive.

When Self-Doubt Creeps In

So where does that fear come from? Why do we shrink from our own greatness?

For me, it was years of undiagnosed mental illness and deeply rooted self-hate. I was at war with myself—wanting things to change, but getting in the way of any progress. Even when opportunities came my way, I’d question if I deserved them. I’d back down, stay small, and then carry the weight of disappointment.

It wasn’t until I began my recovery that I finally started to shift. I learned to love myself. I stopped backing down from the things I wanted. And slowly, I stopped fearing success. Because success started to feel like something I was allowed to have.

Greatness isn’t arrogance. Greatness is owning your light. It’s showing up fully, knowing your worth, and letting yourself shine.

You Don’t Need Permission

Sometimes, we wait for others to validate our greatness. To give us permission. But your power doesn’t come from someone else’s approval. It comes from you.

If someone is uncomfortable with your greatness, that’s their work to do—not yours. Your job is to honor your gifts, pursue your goals, and keep showing up for yourself. Greatness isn’t just about what you achieve—it’s about who you become as you rise.

Today, I don’t let that little voice in my head stop me the way it used to. And when I do hear it, I know it’s not the truth. I’ve worked too hard to believe in myself—and I’m not giving that up.

You Were Made for More

We all have dreams. We all have something inside us that longs to grow, to thrive, to become. Don’t let fear—or old patterns—steal that from you.

Start where you are. You don’t have to know every step—just take the first one. Say yes. Trust that the path will reveal itself as you go. The more you honor your potential, the more your life will expand.

Be great. And while you’re at it, help others see their greatness, too.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Step Into Your Greatness

  • Do you believe you are great? If not, what’s holding you back from seeing it?
  • Have you ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted? Why?
  • What is one thing you’re great at—and do you celebrate it or downplay it?
  • How does it feel when you celebrate someone else’s success? Can you offer that same energy to yourself?
  • What’s one step you can take this week to move closer to your greatness?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re ready to stop holding yourself back and fully own your greatness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs a reminder of their worth, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to rise.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Let’s root for each other, and watch each other grow.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!Support A Friend

At A Rare Loss For Words

It’s not often I’m at a loss for words. Ask anyone who knows me well, and they’ll tell you—I’ve always got something to say. But lately? Lately, I’ve felt more shaken. Disheartened. I’ve struggled to find the right words in the face of what feels like an unraveling of the world around me.

If you’ve been reading the blog or following State of Slay™ for a while, you know I try to focus on growth, light, and resilience. I look for the lesson. The shift. The silver lining. And I’ve been trying to do that even as it feels like the people and places around me are falling apart.

Yesterday, it hit hard. I sat in my car, parked outside a store, completely unable to get out. I was paralyzed by the weight of it all—the lies, the selfishness, the lack of empathy. I’ve been feeling it for a while now: the anxiety of living in a place that doesn’t feel safe, the exhaustion of building something meaningful in uncertain times, the strain of trying to uplift others when I’m struggling to hold myself up.

A friend recently said they missed my positive energy. I mentioned I’d been a little low, and they replied that they’d noticed—but didn’t ask why. Didn’t check in. I get it. We all have a lot going on. But if we lose that connection—if we stop checking in on each other—what do we have left?

I know how I’ve made it this far: community. Support. A deep belief that light exists, even when it’s dim. My flame may be flickering, but it’s not out. And I know where to look to ignite it again.

When Darkness Feeds Itself

Before recovery, I thrived in the dark. I fed off negativity. I surrounded myself with people who mirrored my pain—people who used me, hurt me, and validated my belief that I wasn’t worthy of love or light. I clung to the victim narrative because it was easier than owning my part.

That mindset? It’s poison. It makes you believe that happiness is something someone else gives you. But real happiness—the kind that lasts—comes from living with integrity. From taking responsibility for our actions, our energy, and our healing.

Recovery taught me that the road to peace is paved with truth. That my actions, not my intentions, define who I am. That I get to choose how I show up in the world. And that means something, especially in times like these.

Be the Person You’re Proud Of

We’re all going through something. Some days are heavier than others. But now more than ever, we need to lift each other up—not tear each other down. We need to ask the extra question, send the check-in text, give the benefit of the doubt.

We need to be someone we can be proud of.

A few months ago, I asked: When all of this is over, will you be proud of who you were?

If you hesitate to answer, it’s time to get honest.

Choose compassion. Choose kindness. Choose truth. Choose to be the light—even if your flame is just a spark right now.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Someone You’d Be Proud Of?

  • Have you been living in integrity—with yourself and others?
  • Where have you fallen short? What can you do to make it right?
  • Are you showing up for others—or just for yourself?
  • What has your energy been like lately? How are you affecting the spaces you enter?
  • What’s one action you can take today to reconnect—with others and with yourself?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve done recently that made you proud—or one thing you want to do to course-correct?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling disconnected or dim, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little light to find our way back.