Author: Carrie Genzel

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Life is happening, right now, outside your screen.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Phone

Close Your Device And Open Your Mind

We live in a time where we are obsessed with our devices. We use them to connect and stay in touch, we use them to stay on top of current events, we use them to document our lives, and we use them to numb ourselves and tune out from our day-to-day lives. Too often we replace people time with screen time. We miss moments, right in front of us, to have meaningful exchanges with others, to help someone in need or to share who we are with those around us. We use our devices many times without realizing we’re doing it, we habitually pick them up and start scrolling through stories, photos or media shutting off our brains and falling into a trance as we gaze at the images passing through our screens, many of us so addicted that we seem incapable of turning them off in meetings, church, movie theaters, while driving, well, for anything. But what suffers when don’t keep ourselves, and our devices, in check? In my experience, everything.

Don’t get me wrong. I use my devices to do many useful things, but I do make sure I am giving myself, and my brain, time away from them. One of my favorite times of the day is when I turn my phone off and hike or  exercise. It is one of my most productive times of the day and always has been. It’s time that my fingers stop doing the work and my mind kicks into gear. That’s when I’m at my most creative, and where many ideas, including State Of Slay™ have been born. Often times I figure things out that I had not been able to find a solution for earlier in the day, I get new ideas, I find inspiration and I think about what I am most grateful for. Very few of that same brain activity happens if I’m scrolling through my phone or computer. Sure, I can get ideas or find inspiration in what I see, but it’s that time away from my screens where my mind really gets fired up. And that goes for the relationships in my life as well. Because I’ve moved many times and traveled a lot for work, my devices easily keep me connected to those I love, but nothing compares to that one on one time with that those people, something I feel we’re loosing in society as a whole. Yes it’s faster to send a text or leave a voice mail, but it’s that human interaction that leads to deeper friendships and relationships, and, possibly collaborations or understandings that only come from time spent together. Those moments are what make us feel alive, make us feel wanted, loved, a part of and connected to those around us. We as a society seem to be feeling lonelier, maybe if we all made a little more of an effort to spend time with others instead of our devices that loneliness may dissipate, or go away all together.

It’s easy to get distracted by our devices, they’re designed to keep us engaged, but what if we kept ourselves engaged in life and those around us and instead of worrying about how many ‘likes’ we have, or what the latest gossip or news story is, why don’t we focus on what we like in life and choose to put our time and energy into those people, places and things, our hearts, and our minds, will thank us. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to focus more on your devices and screens than in life around you? What is the result of that? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? What can you do to take time away from your devices today and engage with life? Do you limit the amount of screen time you get every day? If yes, how has that improved your life? If not, how do think it will impact your life? Do you feel anxious when you don’t have your device with you or don’t have it on? Why do you think that is? What can you do SLAYER to focus each day on the relationships you have in your life, the ideas, inspirations or ideas you may have that never get the chance to be explored or fully realized because you’re attention keeps getting pulled back to your screen. Turn off your devices today and turn on your mind, you may be surprised what’s in there waiting for you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Always remember that your current situation is not your final destination, remind yourself why you started and keep heading in the direction that honors that.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Why

Remeber Your Why, Remember The Magic

We often can get so focused on achieving our goals or going after the next thing or relationship that when we have it we don’t appreciate it in the moment. We work hard to change, nurture relationships with others and push ourselves to go after what we want, what we find magic in, and then when we get there we’re already thinking about what comes next, or forget that the relationship or promotion or whatever it may be comes with day-to-day work to keep and maintain it, and ultimately, to have it grow. When we find ourselves in that rut it’s important to remind ourselves of the magic that person, place or thing had for us that pushed us to go after it in the first place.

There are those of us who are addicted to the chase. Addicted to the next great thing, and are never satisfied once we get it. We build it up in our heads to be something more than it could ever be so once we get it we’re let down or unsatisfied by the reality of what it actually is. I know for myself, I used to be guilty of this. It was like I looked at everything from a child’s perspective, always making it out to be much more than it really was. My expectations were never based in reality, and there was no way anything was every going to reach the level of what I thought it was going to be. As a result I was always let down or feeling empty, and many times thought I had failed, even though I had exactly what I had wanted or worked for because it always felt empty.

It’s important to base our expectations in reality, to go after our hopes and dreams, and allow ourselves to hold some magic around them, but make sure that we’re not setting ourselves up to be disappointed by delusions of grandeur that we build up in our heads. And, even if we keep our expectations in check, to make sure we remember why we wanted what we have in the first place, and appreciating where we are and what we’ve achieved. And remembering that all that we achieve takes a lot of work, and it takes that work to make it work. Many times we’re too quick to throw in the towel when we realize that what we’ve fought so hard for isn’t going to maintain itself or run itself, it takes daily maintenance to keep things running smoothly, and to move things forward to the next level.

We all have the right to dream about what we would like for ourselves, and it’s alright to find some magic around those things, but make sure you keep those dreams and goals in check and not let them get so grandiose that they can never live up to what you’ve built up in your mind. Remember your why and keep that magic that propelled you to start in the first place, and maintain those things as you roll up your sleeves and get to work on what you’ve worked so hard for. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to build up things in your mind that they never reach your expectations? How do you do this? Give an example. Do you let your expectations ruin your enjoyment of what you accomplish? Once you attain what you’ve worked for, are you able to remember your why and keep the magic of what you thought the accomplishment would give you? Are you willing to do the work to keep that magic going? Are you always looking for the next thing and once you get what you want move on to something else forgetting where you just were? Why do you think you do this? How you can you prevent yourself from doing it the next time? It is our nature, SLAYER, to keep striving for more, but it’s important to appreciate what we’ve worked for and accomplished, to remember your why for doing it in the first place and not get discouraged when it requires some work to keep the magic going. Take a moment to pause today, and find the magic in your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! People with great passion make the impossible happen.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Passion

Don’t Follow Your Passion, Bring It With You

Before walking this path I was only focused on my passion. I knew what I was passionate about and almost all of my energy went to that, everything else fell by the wayside. I thought I had to focus only on what my passion for it to be enough, and I also used my passion to hide from the outside world. My passion was everything, and because I made it so, all the other areas in my life suffered, and, I was missing opportunities to try new things, or to head down new avenues because I was so hyper-focused on what I already knew. What I didn’t know is that my passion isn’t just something I love, it’s in me, it’s what makes me come alive and I can bring my passion into everything I do. It wasn’t until I learned that my passion really set my soul on fire.

When I was living in the dark I had a very narrow view of the world, and my life. I wouldn’t let in new things, I was stubborn and set in my ways, only allowing what I thought was right in and not allowing myself to investigate anything further. The minute something new was presented to me I shot it down, I would tell myself that I already knew it wasn’t going to work, or it wasn’t going to be good, or what I wanted to do, and as a result I stayed stuck, and continued to hide in my passion. That way of living was very lonely. And, if I wasn’t able to dive into my passion as I liked in each moment, I felt like I had failed, having nothing else to turn to. I had put all my eggs in one basket and if there was no basket I was lost.

When I set out to find a better way of life I realized what I had been doing. Living for my passion only kept me sick, kept me hidden and didn’t allow me to grow into who I was meant to be. As I learned more and more about myself I learned that my passion is who I am, not what I am, or what I chose to aim my energies at, my passion is that fire that burns inside of me that I can bring with me into any situation, relationship or new venture, and, by knowing that I open myself to all kinds of new ventures I didn’t even know existed before, or never would have considered. That alone fires up my passion. I know today that not one thing is my passion, I can bring it into anything I’m doing and by keeping an open mind and an open heart, I continue to find new passions along this path.

It’s easy to get stuck in one way of thinking, and it’s easy to hide in what your passion may be, but what are you missing around you while you’re doing that? What else may be out there you can also be passionate about, or who? There is so much each day we can bring our passion into and allow ourselves and others to see who we are and what we have to offer, and, we may just learn something about ourselves along the way, and those around us. Our passion can inspire others, it can bring passion to others and it can spark the passion already in you to greater heights. I used to think that I had to focus my passion on one thing, thinking it might be spread to thin to have multiple places to send that passion, and what I know today is that when I bring my passion to everything I do, not only do those things get better, my passion gets stronger and invites others to show their passion too. Show us your passion in everything you do and let it bring you closer to what and who you love. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you bring your passion into everything you do or limit it to what you focus on? If you do limit it, why do you think you do this? Do you use your passion to hide from the outside world? If yes, why? How does this help you? How does this hurt you? What if you allowed the world to see your passion through all that you do? What if you shared it with others? What if you allowed us to see who you are through your passion? Always bring your passion with you into everything situation, it may just lead you to the place your are truly meant to be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What you focus on today can change all your tomorrows.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Yesterday

Make Room For Today

I used to live in could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, might’ve. I would get stuck in the past and replaying it over and over, reliving a moment and what I should’ve done, should’ve said or could’ve done better. I was constantly pulled back to my past, or daydreaming of the future and would might be, while present moments slipped by. What I didn’t realize is that in the present moments were chances to do the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, might’ve actions, but I was missing them because I was living in the past, or, future surfing into what hadn’t even happened yet. Life gives us opportunities to do the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, might’ves if we are able to spot them as they come up. When we get stuck in the past we stay there, missing those opportunities the universe is giving us to do the things we wished we had done differently.

For me, I did this constantly, but I also used it was a way to not take action in my present life. I would stay in the past, thinking, in hind-sight, I was so smart to see how I should’ve done things, but not allowing myself to see that those same situations were coming up and giving me a chance to implement those “great ideas” I had, because the truth is, I didn’t want to change, I didn’t want to do the work and take the right action, it was easier to keep doing what I had always done, get the same results, and then talk about how it should have been done. But that behavior kept me in the dark, it kept me isolated from people and it kept me sick. And wishing, on bad days, that things would change, wasn’t ever going to change anything, I needed to change and I needed to make positive changes in my behavior and actions in the present to secure that life I wanted moving forward. Those changes took a lot of humility. I had to first admit my faults, and admit that I had kept myself from moving on, moving forward and growing, I had let my ego run the show and because I was at fault, the only place it could take me where I could feel superior was the past.

Today I live in the now. I do use the past to help me today, to show me right from wrong, where I can do better, but I don’t live there. Only by living in the now can I stop myself from bending backwards to my past or tip-toeing into the future, and only in the now can I take action for today and set myself up for better choices in the future. Living in the now also stops me from trying to take on things I have no control of, or from trying to take on too much, the whole picture, when all I really have is today. Many times before walking this path I would get so overwhelmed with everything I had to do that I would never actually start, but when I look at what’s in front of me, in the moment, I can break things down into what’s important, what I can do right now and work my way through that list, and before I know it, I’ve made progress. That way of life helps me to keep balance.

Make sure to make room for today. It’s great to learn from the past, but don’t live there, if you do, you may just miss those opportunities to right those wrongs that pull you back and you may hold yourself back from where you are meant to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find that you get pulled back into your past? Are there specific times or events that you go to? Is there something you can change about those times or events? What can you take away or learn from them that you can apply to your life today? Do you think that there may have been opportunities to change patterns in your life based on your past experiences, but because you’re stuck in the past you’ve missed those opportunities in the present? What can you do to live in the now today? How can you look for situations that may have come up in your past that you now have a chance to make right, or make better decisions? Look for the those moments SLAYER, to use what you’ve learned from your past to take positive action today, in your present, and set yourself up for a brighter future.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER!  The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it’s open.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Negative Actions

H.O.W. – Honesty, Open-Mindedness, Willingness

Before walking this path, I constantly asked myself how.

How did I let things get this bad? How had I lost control of my life? How could I stop the pain?

What I didn’t realize was that the answer was in the question itself: H.O.W.—Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.

It was right in front of me the whole time. I just wasn’t ready to see it.

The Missing Ingredient

Back then, I wasn’t practicing any of those things. I was stubborn. I wasn’t being honest about my part in my suffering. And I wasn’t willing to change.

I had to fall a lot further before I finally landed on my knees and asked for help. That pain—the kind I had a hand in creating—was the very thing that pushed me to take action. Once I committed to getting better, I was told I had to live by H.O.W.

To get rigorously honest. To stay open to new ways of doing things. To be willing to do the work.

It didn’t all come at once. Sometimes willingness was all I had—and that was enough to begin. Because willingness almost always leads to action, and action leads to change.

A Lifelong Practice

Today, I still check in with myself using H.O.W. I ask:

  • Am I being honest about where I am?
  • Am I open to the next right step?
  • Am I willing to take action even when it’s uncomfortable?

Because here’s the truth: we don’t graduate from this work. We stay in it. We grow from it. And we live better because of it.

You Already Have the Answer

No matter where you are on your journey, ask yourself: Are you living with H.O.W.?

Are you stuck somewhere because it feels comfortable—or because you think it’s where you deserve to be?

When you get honest about your answers, stay open to new perspectives, and become willing to act, you can change your entire life.

H.O.W. isn’t just a tool. It’s the roadmap.

You hold the key. SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What’s Your H.O.W. Check-In?

  • Do you keep asking how you got to where you are—and how to break the cycle?
  • Are you being truly honest about your patterns and choices?
  • How open are you to doing things differently—even if it’s unfamiliar?
  • What small action can you take today with willingness at the center?
  • What would your life look like if you really leaned into H.O.W.?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can practice honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s ready for change but doesn’t know where to start, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a roadmap—and a nudge.