you matter

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! No one else can fix all your problems, but they can offer that you don’t walk alone.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Together So Much

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

SLAY on!

state of slay help 2

H.O.P.E. – Help Other People Everyday

I have a special anniversary coming up in a few days, a day I think of as my actual “birthday.” It is the day, 13 days ago, that I decided to let go of the way I had been living my life and the day I asked for help. This day was a long time coming, and truthfully could have, and probably should have come earlier in my life, but it came when it was supposed to, and when I was ready, 100%, to do the work and find a solution a problem that was dead set on taking my life. A big part of how I became ready to make this big change came in part from a story a friend shared with me about his struggle with the same disease. The night he told me his story, it seemed like just that, an incredible true story of someone who had fought his way out of the darkness to now live in the light. A remarkable journey, and one I was quite in awe of, and it remained just an incredible story for months after that. But for whatever reason, those months later, on a dark dark night, a night I became very scared I may harm myself to stop my pain, I remembered that story, and for the first time I recognized myself in the beginning of that story, the part where there was pain and suffering, it resonated with my life then, and I realized that there may just be hope for someone like me, that maybe, just maybe, I too, like my friend, might have a fighting chance against my own head that wanted me dead.

I have never forgotten that story, and that gift that friend gave to me so many years ago, and I make it a point to give back that gift whenever I can, this blog is a huge part of that, but being of service, or helping others can come in many forms, it can be as simple as a smile or saying hello, or, perhaps just showing up. When we simply show up we show others that they matter, they’re worth it, and depending on where you’ve shown up to, you may also show someone who is there that there is hope, and they matter. You see, it was a little light of hope that kept me going, kept me moving to the light back then, it wasn’t very bright at first, but it was there, and it was enough to get me to keep putting one step in front of the other, even when my head told me I couldn’t, hope told me I could and to just do it and trust where that step would lead me.

Hope is something magical. You can’t see it on it’s own, but you can in others. You can see it in people’s eyes, in their actions, in their words, and when hope is there anything can happen. We can offer our hope to others by showing them we care, we see them, we hear them, by doing nice things, or by simply being there. In my early days, when things were still dark, sometimes just seeing someone else struggling with the same issues I was gave me hope, to know I wasn’t alone, and when someone with those same struggles had any kind of success, we all felt like we succeeded because even if it wasn’t our personal victory, we saw that it was possible, and we all kept going.

We all have the ability to help other people everyday, whether small or large. We can offer our heart, our truth, or kindness, and compassion, and you just never know how that could impact that person’s life, they may even be writing about it 13 years later from the other side of that pain and that struggle, grateful for the hope you shared with them on one important day. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like you have something to offer others? Do you see that your struggles may give someone else comfort or hope? Have you received comfort or hope from someone else’s struggles? How? When we do something to help another individual it takes us outside of ourselves, even on our worst day, in fact, especially on our worst day, that time we spend to help another person becomes about them, and it takes focus off of ourselves, and many times, just by reaching out, even with a smile and a hello, that darkness we may be feeling lifts and our day becomes brighter. Every one of us has something to offer, we all have experiences that may be just what someone else needs to hear about, whether you’ve overcome them or not, it’s the commonality that helps us through a tough time, and sometimes, even with the intention of helping someone else, it helps us most of all.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you stop doing nothing and just start to do something, it starts to change everything.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Steps

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You are enough. You have always been enough. You will always be enough. You matter.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Important 1

You Matter

This week we lost two creative, talented, successful people to suicide. Both came as a shock, to me, and most people. How could two different people, seemingly both “having it all”, make the decision to take their own lives? It seems unfathomable, except to those who have been there, who understand the despair and anguish that goes along with anxiety, depression, mental illness. Yes, those conditions do not discriminate between those who have all the things, we may think, will make us OK, or better, and those who may not. It can come for any of us, I know because it had me in it’s grips for most of my life, and, on a bad day, can still get the best of me when I’m not taking care of myself, because even though I’ve made the choice to live a life in the light today, my disease still wants me dead, and as I grow and learn to be a better and healthier woman, my disease is also learning what I am and looking to find a way to navigate around the obstacles I’ve put in it’s path. I know if I stop choosing life, death is waiting to take me in it’s arms.

It’s also a wake-up call. To me, and hopefully those out there like me, and, those who are still struggling. We may tell ourselves that if we get the new job we’ll be OK, the new girlfriend/boyfriend, the vacation, the new apartment/house, a move to a new city, we may tell ourselves that if something in our lives changed we would be OK, and the truth is it won’t, not if we’re not OK right now. Sure it’s nice to have nice things, but nothing can fix us if it’s an inside problem, that we have to tackle, head on. For me it was a matter of life and death. Trying to hide what was going on, not sharing it with anyone, and isolating myself from people who cared, those negative voices got louder in my head, and because they were the only feedback I was hearing, they sounded like the truth. They would tell me I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve good things, that I was a bad person, that I should be ashamed, and that it would be better if I just wasn’t here anymore, in fact, no one would even notice, or care. None of that is true. None of that is fact. All of that is my disease. But, when you’re not sharing with others, no one can tell you it’s wrong. I know what’s it’s like to stand there, alone, in the darkness and make the decision to end the pain and suffering, thinking that’s the only way out, the only way to stop the pain, it’s an awful place to stand, it makes me feel physically ill just thinking about it, but I can also say, as a survivor, that there is a solution, and, you will be missed, and that action will not only take you from our lives, but will have a ripple effect of pain, anger, and confusion for years to come, maybe even a lifetime.

You matter. We want you here. You deserve good things, and you can get them, but first you need to get help. Talk. Share. Reach out. There are so many ways to do it today. You can call someone, a help or crises line, you can chat online, talk to someone in person, just take action, no one will judge you, but they will offer to help. When I finally reached out for help it was such a relief. A relief to let go of the huge secret I had been carrying around with me. To finally be honest, to come clean, and to find the courage to say I was in crisis. My life changed the day, I found an abundance of people willing to help, but I had to take action before I started to get better. Now, as I said, on a bad day those demons still come calling, and they always know just what to say, but today I know they’re lying to me, and I know if I can’t battle them alone, that I have a whole army of people to back me up and fight them with me. You also have that army, you just have to call it into action.

Pick up your sword SLAYER, and go to battle, for the most important person there is, YOU.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let your demons get the best of you? How do they do that? Why do they do that? Why do you let them? Would you allow anyone else to speak to you that way? So why do you let them? Do you reach out for help when you feel overwhelmed? If not, why not? If you have, what was the result of that? When you are struggling, do you make sure you let people know? If not, why not? SLAYER, we are all more alike than not, we understand and are here to help, we all support each other through the tough times and as a result we all rise. We stand together, tall, proud of who we are, even on those days we feel small, because we will not be defeated, we are warriors, survivors, we are SLAYERS!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you