Good morning SLAYER! When we think about all the things we want, don’t forget to add loving yourself to that list.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Self-worth
Slay Talk Live Video
Hey SLAYERS! Couldn’t join us for SLAY TALK LIVE tonight? Here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
An Ending Brings A New Beginning
We tend to hold onto things. We hold on to them, many times, far longer than we should. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain and heartache, when we should really just let go. We sometimes live in denial that something has ended, we try to live in the past, to conjure up memories or feelings and try to hold on to them when they can’t live in the present. We drag our heels and drag our hearts through the dirt as we try to live in a place that no longer exists. Let go. And not just let go, look at it as an opportunity for something new. A new beginning.
Now I realize that that may have just sent a shutter down your spine. But really, honestly, it’s a good thing. The act of letting go. And the realization that you should let go is a huge act of self-love. To not cause yourself pain by trying to keep yourself somewhere you no longer have no business being. By being responsible for your own pain for not letting go and moving on. Walking away when it’s time takes a long of love and a lot of courage, to know that, if you move on, that is actually a positive act, an act that demonstrates self-respect and one that shows you know your worth. And when it’s time to go and you take that action, it allows something else to come in, something, perhaps, better suited to who you are today, or what you’ve been looking for. When we stay where we are no longer meant to be, we block anything new from coming in because we are spending all of our energy trying to make it right in the wrong place. We make excuses, concessions to stay, and while we’re doing that we’re not seeing that perhaps what we’ve wished for, or wanted,all along, is right within our reach. Putting an end to something takes some faith, faith in yourself that you’re doing the right thing, and faith that whatever inner voice guides you, or outer voice, that there is a plan for you, that you are being guided to whom, or where, you are meant to be. And once you start to take that direction, all roads start to open up to help you get there. So many times we’re heard saying, “why is this so difficult?” Well, it may be difficult because we’re not mean to be there at all. So the question should be, “if this is so difficult, is there somewhere else I should be?” There may be a reason you’re finding things so difficult, the universe may be trying to tell you something.
An ending is really a chance for a new beginning. And perhaps a place that lets you be you, that lets you shine bright. We have to go through the things that aren’t right for us to find out what is. It’s all just part of our journey, our learning of who we are and what we want, so don’t look at it as a bad thing, look at it as information, and a way to lead you to where you should be, and where you are mean to be. Life is already full of obstacles, why put some extra ones in your own way by hanging on when you should go? Why not look at the end of something as a chance to try something new, you never know, that ending may have been set up just to lead you to the beginning of the life of your dreams…but you won’t know if you stay stuck right where you are. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to hang on to situations or relationships even when you know you should move on? If so, why do you do that? Write down a time when you held on when you should have let go. How did that make you feel? Write down a time when you did let go. How did that make you feel? Which felt better? Within your life now, are there people, places and things that you should be letting go of or ending? What are they? Why are you hanging on? What do you think will happen if you let go? Are these feelings or concerns valid, or just fears? What are you afraid of? Are these fears based in fact, or are they tied to old stories and old ideas from your past? Look at your life SLAYER, and look at those things that you should end, end them, and don’t be afraid, when we let go of what we no longer want or need, we let the universe know we’re ready for what we do want and need, and we’re ready to turn an ending into a new beginning.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Let go of people who dull your shine, poison your spirit and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.
SLAY on!
The Person Who Doesn’t Value You Is Blocking You From The One Who Will
Why do we stay?
Why do we stay when we’re not appreciated, understood, supported, or loved?
Why do we hold on when someone doesn’t see our value—or worse, tries to diminish it?
There are reasons.
And then there are excuses.
But the truth is this: when we stay in places where we’re not seen, there’s no room for someone who will see us.
When You Don’t See Your Own Value
Before I stepped onto this path, I never considered whether someone valued me—or if I truly valued them. I brought people into my life based on what I needed in the moment. I thought I cared, and maybe I did. But I didn’t value them as whole, spiritual beings—because I didn’t value myself.
I didn’t think I was worthy.
Not of love.
Not of kindness.
Not of real connection.
So I stayed where I wasn’t valued because, deep down, I didn’t believe I deserved to be.
Healing Changes Everything
That changed when I made the decision to get well.
Through recovery, I worked on self-love, self-worth, and self-respect. And with every honest step I took, I began to see my own value—and I started seeking people who could see it, too.
It’s easy to find yourself in a relationship or friendship where your light slowly dims. Where you stop being seen. Where you’re asked to make yourself smaller to make someone else feel big.
But the real question is:
Have you stopped showing your true self? Have you dulled your light to fit in?
Letting Go to Let the Right Ones In
We don’t have to make ourselves smaller to be loved.
If something feels off… if your needs aren’t heard… if blame is being placed on you again and again—it’s time to pause and take a real, honest look.
When someone sees your worth, you’ll know.
There will be respect, support, and a genuine desire to help you grow.
You can’t be open to receive that love if you’re holding on to someone who doesn’t value you.
Let go. Create space. Open your heart.
You might just make room for the greatest love of your life.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
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Do you feel valued in your relationships?
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If not, why are you still staying?
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What value do you see in yourself today? What value are you ignoring?
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Describe yourself in 5 words. What do they reveal about your truth?
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Who in your life truly sees and supports you—and who doesn’t?
You hold the key to who you allow into your life.
Only open the door for those who see your light—and help it shine even brighter.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve reclaimed your worth and made room for better in your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s holding on to a relationship that’s dimming their light, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder: we’re worth more.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Make sure you’re in the right story, one that let’s you be your best you, not the one you want tell yourself, or the one others tell you. Who’s story are you in?
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Stand tall and find the courage to be exactly who you are, without apologies. You are enough, right here, right now.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You don’t need anyone or anything to prove your worth. When you believe this, you will be free.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Hey SLAYERS! Missed us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE? Not to worry, I’ve got you covered.
SLAY on!
Validation: But What About Me?
Hey, we all love a little validation for a job well done, or a good deed, or just for being the best we can be right? It’s nice to feel appreciated, but when that validation becomes the only reason for doing something it becomes a problem. I’ve talked about how we shouldn’t do anything unless we want to, plain and simple. Without expecting anything else in return. Yeah, I said it, without expecting anything in return. Then and only then are we doing something for the right reasons. That got you thinking didn’t it? How many things do we do because we’re expecting something in return? Or because we think it might make us look good? Or because someone might owe us and we can call on the favor later? All we’re doing when we are acting with those intentions is setting ourselves up for resentments, because if we don’t get what we want, or expect, we’re going to get angry. But, we shouldn’t have been doing it in the first place. We need to be accountable to what is motivating us in the first place.
Some of us also use doing things for others to feel validated as a person. That we have no value if they’re not doing things for others. Also not the most healthy. Again, it’s great to do nice things for others but not if you’re using that as your sole source of self-worth, and putting that need of validation before your own actual needs. It’s important to find a balance, of taking care of yourself and what you need and if you have the time or ability to, then do something nice for someone else. It’s kind of like the flight attendant announcement at the beginning of a flight when they advise you in the event of an emergency to put your mask on first before helping someone else. That’s good advice. Because if you’re passed out, you’re not going to be able to help anyone else. Make sure your needs are taken care of and you’re not putting someone else’s needs before your own and not giving yourself what you need to be your best self.
For me I use to look for validation because I was typically doing things for the wrong reasons. I was looking for the validation to feel better about myself, because I hated who I was, I was looking for validation to feel smarter, especially smarter than you, and I was looking for validation to get something I wanted. Very few things just came from a pure heart of wanting to do something, but my heart was always in fear or resentment, so nothing good would come out of that heart when those where the chief factors of my motivation. It was hard to face the facts of why I was doing what I was doing, and to realize that I was only doing those “nice” things to fill a the void I felt inside, but that void could never be filled with those outside things, so it became a vicious cycle of trying to do them, and wanting recognition for them, but even if I got it it never filled me up.
At the end of the day it’s our job to fill up our own hearts. To do things that make us feel good, because we want to do them, and to make sure if we’re feeling empty, that we don’t start looking outward to fill an inside job. We all have value, we all have worth, and when we learn to accept that in ourselves, and learn to fill those needs, we stop looking for outside validation to do it for us. We find it in ourselves. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: What do you think motivates you to do something? Are you looking for validation? If so, why? What does it mean to you to get validation for something you’ve done? What if you don’t get that validation? What do you do then? What do you tell yourself? Do you retaliate? How has seeking validation affected your relationships? How has it affected the relationship you have with yourself? What can you do to repair or change that relationship with yourself? What are 5 things you can do this week to show yourself some love, to validate yourself with acts of love and doing what fills you up inside? Do them SLAYER, and continue to do them, no need to validate yourself anymore than that.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
