Why do we stay? Why do we stay when we are not appreciated for who we are? When we’re not understood? Supported? Loved? Encouraged? When someone doesn’t see, or understand, our value?
I guess there are a lot of reasons we stay, and, some excuses. But the truth of the matter is that, when we do stay, there’s no room for someone to come into our lives who does, or will, value us.
Before stepping on this path I never considered whether someone valued me or not. Or I them. Well, I did place value on them, but not for the right reasons. The value I gave them was more in line with whatever I was looking for at the time. The reason I had brought them into my life, not their value as a human being, or their spirit, or light. There was always some sort of motivation behind it. And, that doesn’t mean I didn’t care for these people, I did, but I wasn’t in a place to truly value them for who they were because I didn’t value myself. I didn’t think I had value. I thought I was good at certain things, but overall I didn’t like myself and thought poorly of myself, so to give someone else value only made me feel worse about who I thought I was. So, in that head space, yes, I would stay, because of not seeing my own value, how would I believe someone else saw it in me? Or could expect them to?
That all changed when I made the decision to get well. I worked on self-love, self-worth and self-respect, and the more I practiced those things in my life, the more I started to see my own value, and seeing that in myself caused me to look for it in other people, and, look for people who saw it in me.
It can be easy to get caught in a relationship, or friendship, where our value is not seen, or it somehow slips away until we find ourselves with someone who not only doesn’t see us and who we are, but seems to try to chip away at it. Typically when this happens it’s the other person’s issues that are causing this, but there are always two sides of the street. Are we living in a place of truth, where we are showing the people in our lives our true value, or have we begun to dull it to fit into a role that we think is easier, or is safe, or, we’ve been told to play to make it better for someone else?
We don’t have to make it better for anyone, only ourselves, and when we stay somewhere we’re not appreciated we may be blocking someone from coming into our lives who will. If things don’t feel right, if we’re not being heard, if we’re constantly being told it’s our fault, that we’re the problem, those are usually great indicators that it’s time to get out, to move on, and to let go. When someone sees and appreciates our worth, none of those things exist. None of them are said. Or felt. What is said and felt is love, is safe, is of mutual admiration and support. But you can’t be open to receive any of that if you’re stuck somewhere you shouldn’t be. Be honest, truly honest, with yourself and your relationships, ask yourself if the people in your life acknowledge and appreciate your worth and value. If not, let go SLAYER, and open the door for that someone who will, and may already be. Trust, and open your heart and you may just let in the greatest love of your life. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Looking at your relationships, do you feel like your value is appreciated in each of them? If not, why not? How is your value not appreciated? Why do you stay? Do you see the value in your own self? If not, why not? What value do you see in yourself? Describe yourself, SLAYER, in 5 words. What do those 5 words mean to you? How do you think others see you? How would they describe you? Ask them SLAYER. Ask them to describe who you are. We hold the key to who we let into our lives, only let in those who deserve to be there, only those who see you for who you are and those who will love and support you to reach even greater things and higher heights, those are the people who deserve you, make sure to let go of anyone who does not.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you