Good morning SLAYER! Not every battle can be won. Not every battle is your battle to fight. The only battle that is worth fighting is the battle in your mind that tells you it’s your right to be right, even when the battle has nothing to do with you.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Hey SLAYER! We had an amazing SLAY TALK LIVE today, if you missed us, here’s all the SLAYtastic action.
SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! You become what you hide.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! You are enough. Let your true self shine and others will find you with the same light.
SLAY on!
For a long time, I didn’t want to stand out.
I wanted to blend into the background. To disappear into the scenery. I believed that if I stayed unnoticed, no one would see what I was so certain was true about me—that I wasn’t worthy, wasn’t good enough, didn’t belong.
So I learned how to hide in plain sight.
That might sound strange given the profession I chose, but acting became the perfect disguise. I could hide behind characters. Behind scripts. Behind versions of myself that felt safer than the truth. And in that way, I wasn’t so different from anyone else. We all learn to play roles. To adapt. To become what we think is acceptable so questions aren’t asked and attention doesn’t linger too long.
When the risk of being singled out feels dangerous, we camouflage ourselves and hope we’re forgotten.
Some of us don’t just blend in—we carefully construct a persona.
A version of ourselves that feels more likable. More acceptable. Less risky. We hope that if the persona is convincing enough, the real us will disappear completely.
For me, this created a quiet kind of torment.
I didn’t want to stand out, yet I desperately wanted to be liked. I wanted the version of myself I had created to be noticed and validated, while the real me stayed hidden.
It was an impossible contradiction.
A game I could never win.
The more masks I wore, the more disconnected I became. I had been playing different roles for so long that I no longer knew who I was underneath them all.
As my mental illness took hold, the desire to disappear grew stronger.
I felt like life was moving forward without me. Like everyone else was advancing while I stayed stuck, running from a darkness that never stopped chasing me. When it caught up, it dragged me backward again.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
So I hid.
I hid the fear.
I hid the despair.
I hid the exhaustion of pretending I was okay.
My illness told me I was forgettable. That I didn’t matter. That if I were gone, no one would even notice.
And the most dangerous part?
I believed it.
Everything shifted the moment I told a trusted friend the truth.
For the first time, I stopped hiding. I let the masks fall away. I let the light in.
What was revealed wasn’t polished or put together. It was broken. Lost. Empty. Afraid.
And instead of being judged or rejected, I was met with compassion.
No one hurt me.
No one shamed me.
No one turned away.
I was met with encouragement, hope, and love.
Standing there in my vulnerability was terrifying—but for the first time in my life, I was fully myself. No roles. No performance. No pretending.
And it felt like relief.
Pretending takes work.
It requires constant vigilance. Constant fear of being “found out.” Constant self-monitoring to make sure the mask doesn’t slip.
And the truth is, pretending doesn’t protect us—it slowly erodes us.
It keeps us disconnected.
It keeps us anxious.
It keeps us stuck in survival mode.
For me, pretending kept me sick. And I was getting sicker.
Healing didn’t come from becoming someone else. It came from finally allowing myself to be who I was—without apology.
It took time to build self-love. To learn self-respect. To reach a place where I no longer felt the need to hide.
But I made it there.
Today, I know this: whatever my best self looks like in any given moment is enough. If I fall or make a mistake, I can repair, learn, and try again—as long as I stay true to myself.
I no longer want to be forgotten.
I want to be of service.
I want to help.
I want to share my story.
Not for approval. Not for validation. But because it’s my truth—and there is nothing to be ashamed of in that.
I own my story.
I own my truth.
And when I walk in that honesty, I know I am exactly where I’m meant to be.
That is what I want to be remembered for.
If you’ve spent your life trying to stay hidden, hear this:
You don’t deserve to be forgotten.
You don’t need to erase yourself to be accepted.
You don’t need a mask to be worthy.
The world doesn’t need a more palatable version of you.
It needs you.
Your real voice.
Your real heart.
Your real presence.
That is who we remember.
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: In what ways do you hide or minimize yourself in your daily life?
L: What part of you feels “unacceptable,” and where did that belief come from?
A: What would it look like to remove one mask and show up more honestly?
Y: If you stopped trying to be forgotten, who could you allow yourself to become?
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever tried to disappear to protect yourself—and what helped you start showing up again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s hiding because they don’t feel worthy of being seen, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Good morning SLAYER! Embrace those parts of you that don’t know they’re loved yet.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! Don’t throw yourself into someone else’s battle, all you do is catch their bullets while they enjoy the scenery.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! If life was meant to be controlled, it would have come with a remote.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Before stepping on this path I was very addicted to control. Control to me felt like safety. When my world felt unsure, when I didn’t know what was around the next corner, or when I felt like people were watching me, wanting me to fail, I tried to control everything I could, even things I couldn’t. I was always tightly wound, trying to keep things together, and trying to make things happen the way I wanted to. It exhausted me. It also frustrated me, because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control everything, no one can.
That need to control became like a drug. It was something I chased. And when I was able to control something I got a shot, or hit, that gave me a high, and then I was off for the next fix. And when I couldn’t control something the feeling and realization of that always hit me hard, and the bullshit committee in my head would get loud telling me I wasn’t good enough and was a failure. And as my life continued to spin out of control that need for control grew inside of me, like a rope I was desperately trying to hang onto but was slipping out of my hands. Control, for me, was a way to counteract my fear, so when I was told I had to let go to save my life, I was terrified.
Letting go of my need for control didn’t come easy, and sometimes I still catch myself trying to control things, not nearly like I did before, but, there is still a part of me that reaches for that when I feel like my world is, well, out of control. My disease will also disguise it as other things, like food, shopping, relationships, so I don’t notice it at first, but it all comes from the same place, fear. We, as human beings, can’t control everything, it’s impossible, so living a life hellbent on control is only going to drive you into the ground. For me, it’s where my disease wanted me, because it could then keep fuel on the fire that I was a failure, it was a place I was most vulnerable, and the endless need for control kept me so busy I couldn’t see what was truly happening and why. Once I made an effort to stop it, with the help of a counselor, support groups, and others like me who were on the same path, that is when I finally saw the truth in what I had been doing, and how I had been living my life. Coming to terms with why was a hard pill to swallow, but knowing the why helped me to stop the behavior. As I always say, what is the root of the problem? It is finding the answer there, that allows you to get better.
Today I no longer try to control, in fact today when I was thinking about an opportunity I would like, I immediately heard myself say to myself, you’ve done the footwork, now let it go. And that is how I live my life today. I do the work towards a goal or opportunity, I ask myself if there is anything else I can or should do, and if the answer is no, I let it go. That is the place I live in today, that is the place I have to live in today to live a healthy and happy life. And trust me, it is a much easier place to live, and much less exhausting. No matter how hard you try, you don’t have the power to control life so stop trying, control what you can, accept what you can’t, and focus on what you can change to be your best you. That you can control.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you obsess about things? Do you try to control things in your life? What do you try to control? Why? Are you able to control it? How does trying to control things benefit you? How does it harm you? Write down all the things you try to control. Write down a Y or N if you are able to control those things. Count how many Y’s and N’s you have. Which have more? Do you feel that if you don’t try to control something that something bad will happen? It won’t SLAYER. All you can do is the work that’s in front of you, do the work, trust that you’ve done what you can, and let the results go, you have no control over what the results will be, so stop trying to control something you can’t. Let go, live your life, and set yourself free, you may just get more of what you want by learning to control you need for control. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! The struggle makes you stronger.
SLAY on!
