Good morning SLAYER! The lessons are right in front of us, you just have to be willing to learn.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Love
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You never know when your words will impact someone’s life forever. Choose to be a positive impact, choose your words wisely.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Wicked Words
We all remember the phrase from childhood, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” well, there are a few variations of that, but it’s meaning, or intention, that words can’t hurt is false. Words, when used as weapons, can hurt deeply, and for many years after, even, sometimes, a lifetime. I remember saying this as a child, puffing up my chest like it was some sort of shield that could deflect the bad names or words and just bounce off me, and from the outside, those doing the name-calling, might have thought they were bouncing off me, but, they weren’t. Those names, those labels, insults, stayed with me for many years, as much as I told myself they weren’t true, I believed them and I let them weigh me down.
The things people say, when they’re meant to hurt, is verbal abuse. As kids things are said on the playground and it’s dismissed as just kids being kids, but it’s that type of behavior, that bully mentality, that sets a precedent, as does shying away from confrontation by the one receiving the insults. It’s hard to break out of being the victim when we are constantly told we are less-than, different, weird, worthless, ugly. Those words do damage, lasting damage, that can affect us for a lifetime if we don’t deal with it.
Ultimately words can only hurt us if we let them. If we don’t believe in what is being said, we will just shrug it off and see it for what it is, someone else who’s feeling less-than trying to pump up their own ego but putting us down. Typically, that’s all that’s going on. Or, someone else showing their fear because we may be threatened them in some way, just by being ourselves. In any case, if someone else has a problem with us, it is their problem, and as much as they will try to put the focus on us, it’s really them who should be in the spotlight for their bad behavior. But, a lot of the time, we take on that burden, believing what is said, or letting it cast a seed of doubt about who we are and if we’re worthy. We are worthy, and going back to the childhood rhyme, we shouldn’t let someone else’s words hurt us, and truthfully they can’t, unless we let them.
This all goes back to self-love, I know, it typically does, but it truly is the foundation of living a healthy and productive life. If we love ourselves and honor ourselves, someone mouthing off and saying a bunch of unflattering things about us that aren’t true isn’t going to hurt us, it may cause us to feel sorry for that person, or find some compassion for them, but we can see, when we don’t take it personally, where those insults are coming from, it’s how they see themselves. When we love ourselves we can see the truth in where the hate or bad behavior is coming from and we can separate ourselves from it, take ourselves out of the equation, because really, we were never really in it in the first place, it was always all about them.
But going to back to times when we were vulnerable to them, it’s time to let them go. It’s time to prove to ourselves that we are not those things, to believe it, to own it, to live our lives as us, not matter what anyone has to say about it. We are only accountable to ourselves, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant, I mean, of course we want people to like us, but it’s not our job to get them to do so if they don’t. Just be you. And when you comfortable just being you, you can work to let those words go from the past, or even present, if someone in your life today tells you you aren’t worthy. When we know who we are, and love who we are, those words can’t hurt us, they can bruise us on a day when we might be feeling sensitive, but we can shake it off, when we love ourselves that is our armor, so sticks, stones, and, any insults hurled our way, will bounce right off of our chest…and hopefully right back at the one who hurled them. A girl can wish anyway. Armor up with self-love SLAYER!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let other people’s opinions of you shape the opinion you have of yourself? Are there things that were said to you as a child still haunt you today? What things? Are these things true SLAYER? Are they true today? They are likely not. So let them go, let them fall away, they are of no use to you. Are there things said to you today that hurt you? Who’s saying them? Why do you let them? Do you believe them? Why? Those words can only hurt you if you believe they are true, they are not. Write down 5 qualities that you love about yourself. Say them out loud. That is who you are SLAYER. Remind yourself of all the good you are, and let someone else’s opinion remain that way, someone else’s. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Talk Live Video
Hello SLAYER! Weren’t able to join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE?
No problem, here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What if you simply devoted your time to loving yourself more?
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Explosion In Reverse
I was with a group of people the other day and someone said, “watching you get better was like watching an explosion in reverse.” It made me laugh, but then when I thought about it, it was the perfect analogy. I myself had certainly imploded years ago, and even after the implosion I still went on for years before seeking help. It’s like all of the good parts of me, my heart, my soul, had blown away in an explosion and yet I kept on going, an empty vessel propelling itself forward, until it just couldn’t anymore. All of my pieces had blown away and there was nothing left but a shell. Imagining myself, and all those pieces coming back to together is a beautiful image. I like to think they came back in a different order, or arrangement then they weren’t in before, and, perhaps, picked up some new ones, better ones, along the way. But that statement got me thinking about what happens to us as we break down, as we lose parts of ourselves as we slowly, or with one big bang, explode from the inside out.
I’ve talked a lot about feeling empty and hollow, and that I’ve seen pictures of myself from that period of time in my life and have not recognized the person in the picture as me. Not only were all the good pieces gone, but my light had completely gone out, just leaving the darkness, and a deadness in my eyes. The first time it happened it scared me, it scared me to look at that woman and know that had been me, that woman looked like the walking dead, and the part of her that was still walking was wishing she was dead. I tell you this because that’s how far down I had fallen, I had reached a place where there wasn’t much left, and there wasn’t much to lose, but even when you’ve fallen that far down I can tell you, you can still climb back up, and, find those pieces you lost again.
I think about an actual explosion, that there is that moment where something ignites and boom! So when I think about an explosion in reverse, of ourselves, coming back to together, I think there is a boom and eventually, and ignition, that is when our light comes back on, when all those pieces we’ve lost come hurling back together, boom! There we are. It can be hard to muster the energy needed to pull off an explosion in reverse, I know for me, there were many days I didn’t think I had it in me, but I would rally my energy, and I would surround myself with others who had done it, or where doing it, so when I felt I couldn’t do it I used their energy, their light, to gather strength, to find the light within them to light my path until I had enough of my own to create my own explosion, the one that put me back to together.
I never want to forget that woman with dead eyes, that woman who stares back at me sometimes from old photographs, as hard as it is sometimes to look at her, I never want to forget her pain because if I do, and I forget that she still lives inside of me, I may forget why I work as hard as I do to keep her safe, to keep me safe from an explosion that could blow all my pieces away again.
SLAY OF THE DAY: When you think about yourself, do you feel like there are pieces of you that you’ve lost? What parts? How do you think you lost them? How can you get them back? Do you see a moment, or a time in your life, that you feel like you blew apart? What has been the result of that? What parts have you managed to recover? What are you still looking for? Find those parts SLAYER. For me it took different things, a lot of support from others, it took counseling, a lot of journaling, sharing my story with others, allowing others in, letting them love and support me, and learning to love myself. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen, a beautiful explosion in reverse. Let yourself go boom SLAYER, and come back to together.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When we share our stories with others and they are usually met with understanding and empathy, in that place, shame cannot survive.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
You Are Not What Happened To You
We can hold ourselves back, or limit ourselves, by thinking we are only the things that have happened to us, or the labels people have placed on us. We can stay stuck not allowing ourselves to move past the trauma or experiences we’ve had believing that we don’t deserve better, or can do better. Well, here’s the truth. We are not what happened to us.
We are individuals who have survived a lot, who have fought our way out and tried to do better for ourselves. We are warriors. Heroes. We can rise above our past and soar. But we have to believe we can. We have to take what we can from our past, learn from it, and let the rest go. We need to forgive ourselves for not knowing better, not doing better, not having the tools we may have needed to keep ourselves safe, but we can do that now. We can decide, at any given moment, to stop living under the shadow of what happened to us and take our power back, or maybe find it for the first time. We all have it, it’s in there, it’s burning within us, let it out, let it shine, let it propel you forward. No matter what the circumstances are that may have brought you down, that may have held you down, or may have let you down, they only hold power over you today if you let them, and they only hold power over you if you’re living in the past. As SLAYERS we live in the here and now. We live in the present. We live our life to our fullest potential, but hanging on to the events of our past, or wearing them as a badge of shame, does not allow us to be who we are meant be, who are truly are at our core.
We can’t fault ourselves for not knowing our own worth, or value, when we were never taught we had any. We can’t fault ourselves for things that happened to us before we had a voice, or before we knew better. We have to let those things go. Let those people go who may have hurt us, lied to us, or deceived us. They don’t get to hold their actions over our heads today, they are not our present, and they have already taken up too much of our time, time, for the most part, we have kept giving them as we hold on to what was done.
Today, you have the power to shed all of that weight you’ve been carrying around, all that pain, hurt, damage, you have the power to let it go, it doesn’t serve you, so drop it, shake it off, wash it off, whatever you have to do to say enough, I am more than this! You are. We all are. Those things that happened to us have shaped us and molded us, and, there can be some good use to those things, we can share our experiences with others who may also be suffering, and we can learn from those experiences so we don’t let history repeat itself, but, aside from those things it serves us no purpose to hold on, to live in a place that tells you that’s all you are because you are so much more. Surround yourself with like-minded people, with good people, supportive people, who love you for all that you are, who cheer you on, and are there to hold your hand when the path gets tough. You can shed the past and turn it into something beautiful, because you yourself, at your inner-most center, are beautiful, and when you allow that self, that true self to shine, you are the real you, the you that is your most you, the you right here, right now. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often let the past weigh you down? Do you still stew over things that have happened to you even though there isn’t anything you can do to go back and change it? Do you let your past hinder your present? Does your past hold you back from the goals you have today? How do you see yourself doing that? What can you do to overcome it? How do you think holding on to your past helps you? When you think about yourself, what words would you use to describe yourself right now? What words would you like to use to describe yourself? Start describing yourself with those words, that is who you are or meant to be. Let go of the past, and step into the true you, the you you’ve been keeping in the shadows behind all those things you let define you. Be your best you and shine bright.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Be gentle with yourself, and others, a kind word or gesture can be difference between the bloom of a beautiful flower, or a wilted bud scorched by the sun.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Your power comes from living in the present, it is in the present that you can take action.
SLAY on!
