Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Remember, your words can plant gardens or burn down forests.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

Taste Your Words

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You never know how long your words will stay in someone’s mind long after you’ve said them, or your own mind.

SLAY on!

Our Words Have Power

Words Can Hurt And Words Can Heal

Words can build bridges.
Words can burn them down.

They can make someone feel seen, valued, loved—or they can tear open wounds that never fully heal. The truth is, words are some of the most powerful tools we have. And yet, many of us throw them around carelessly, forgetting that once spoken, they can’t be taken back.

We’re living in a world that feels more divided and reactive than ever. Which is why this matters so much: the way we speak—to others and to ourselves—matters. It always has. And it always will.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

The Language of My Past

Before I began walking this path, I used words as weapons.
I used them to hurt, to manipulate, to control the narrative.

Even more painfully, I used them on myself. Quietly. Cruelly. I would tell myself I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve love, that I was destined to fail. And those words? They stuck. They festered. They kept me small.

I remember being told early in my recovery that I had a barbed tongue. At the time, I almost wore it like a badge of honor—proof I could defend myself in any verbal battle. But really, I was just scared. I was always in fear. And fear made me lash out. It made me forget that love—real love—starts with what we say when no one else is listening.

The Way You Speak to Yourself Shapes Everything

If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, why say it to yourself?

That was the question that changed everything for me. Because the truth is, we’re always listening to our own inner dialogue. And when we speak harshly to ourselves, our body, heart, and mind all take that in.

So I started small.
I started with one kind sentence a day.
Sometimes I didn’t believe it. Sometimes it felt fake.
But I kept going.

And eventually, those gentle words turned into something bigger: compassion. Forgiveness. Even love.

Speak Like It Matters—Because It Does

When I shifted the way I spoke to myself, something else changed: the way I spoke to others. And sometimes that was easier—giving kind words to others, even when I couldn’t give them to myself. But what I found is that the more kindness I gave away, the more I saw myself as someone capable of kindness. The cycle slowly started to shift.

Today, I try to ask myself before I speak:
Will these words hurt or heal?

That one question has the power to change a conversation. A relationship. A life. Let your words be the ones that bring light—not pain.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you pause before you speak, or do your words just pour out?
  • Have your words ever hurt someone you love? What happened?
  • How do you speak to yourself—especially when you’re struggling?
  • Can you remember a time when your words helped someone heal?
  • What would change if you made kindness your default language?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small way you can use your words today to heal instead of hurt—either for yourself or someone else?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been hard on themselves lately, send this to them.
Sometimes, the right words come at the right time—and change everything.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Know your worth.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

Find What You Deserve

We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

For most of my life, I believed I was unlovable.

Not just hard to love—unworthy of it.

I didn’t like myself, let alone love myself, so when someone claimed to love me, I didn’t trust it. If someone’s love felt genuine, it made me uncomfortable. I feared they’d eventually discover the “ugly truth,” so I kept one foot out the door—just in case. Even after I began to learn how to love myself, I still accepted love that was far below what I knew I deserved.

Because deep down, I didn’t believe I could ever have the kind of love I truly wanted.

That belief kept me stuck in relationships that weren’t healthy. They weren’t safe. And they weren’t loving. But it was only through experiencing pure love—one grounded in mutual respect, connection, and emotional honesty—that I finally learned what I truly deserved.

And more importantly, I believed I could have it.

Love Begins Within

It’s hard to receive real love when you don’t feel it for yourself.

Sure, there are times we begin to heal through the way someone else sees us. But more often than not, if we don’t believe we’re worthy, we’ll sabotage anything good that comes our way.

To let love in, love has to live inside us first.

If fear, shame, or self-hatred are taking up residence, there’s no room for love to grow. Love doesn’t thrive where it’s unwelcome. But when we begin to care for ourselves, nurture our hearts, and see our worth, love becomes a natural extension of that inner work.

It becomes the lens we filter everything through.

If what we say, do, or allow in our lives doesn’t align with love—it has to go.

What We Accept Reflects What We Believe

When we truly love ourselves, we become more compassionate toward others. Our energy shifts from scarcity to abundance. From needing love to sharing it.

And the more love we put out, the more love finds us.

That kind of love? It’s not desperate or dependent. It’s full. It’s expansive. It shows up with open hands, not clenched fists. And when it arrives, we can receive it—not because we’re perfect, but because we’ve finally stopped questioning whether we deserve it.

You do.

You Are Love

There are many paths to love.

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to find our way back to it. Other times, we’re inspired by love we witness in others. But the more we cultivate and share love, the more it grows—and the more it sustains us when life gets hard.

Because love is more powerful than fear, shame, or anything trying to hold us back.

You are love at your core. That has always been true—even if you forgot for a while.

Feed that love. Honor it. Share it with someone who needs it today.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you love yourself? Why or why not?

  • If you do, what do you love most about yourself?

  • If not, what beliefs stand in your way?

  • What’s one small, loving thing you can do for yourself today?

  • What kind of love are you accepting right now—and is it aligned with what you deserve?

Start by naming one reason you’re lovable. Hold it in your heart. Add to it every day until you believe it.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helped you finally believe you were worthy of real love?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s settling for less than they deserve, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder of who we truly are.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There are two ways to be happy; change the situation or change your mindset to the situation.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

Old Ways

Everyone Wants to Change the World—But Are You Willing to Change Yourself?

There’s a lot of talk about change right now—and that’s a good thing.

Awareness is the first step. Conversation is the second. But here’s the truth I’ve learned:
Real change begins with you.

It starts with how you show up in your life.
How you treat yourself.
How you treat others.
What you contribute to your relationships, your community, your world.

And the most powerful change I’ve ever experienced didn’t come from trying to fix someone else—it came from the moment I stopped pointing fingers and started looking in the mirror.

It’s Not Them. It’s You.

Before I began this path of healing, my default was blame.
If something wasn’t working, it was your fault.
If I didn’t get what I wanted, it was because you messed up.

I lived in a constant state of resentment, convinced the world needed to change—never realizing I had the power to change my world by changing myself.

The truth? That mindset kept me stuck.

When we expect others to adjust for our comfort, we end up in a loop of frustration and disappointment. Change can’t be something we demand from others—it’s something we must embody.

That doesn’t mean other people don’t have room to grow. But it’s not our job to mold them.
It’s our job to decide who we are—and who we want to be in relationship with.

The Mirror Never Lies

Sometimes what bothers us most in someone else is something we haven’t fully healed in ourselves.
It’s like life holds up a mirror—and instead of facing what we see, we blame the reflection.

That’s the moment where growth begins.
That’s the invitation:
To stop reacting and start reflecting.

Even when there’s no direct mirror involved, change must come from the inside out.

If a dynamic no longer feels aligned, maybe you’ve outgrown it. That’s okay. Growth often means stepping out of what’s familiar and choosing what’s right—even if it’s uncomfortable.

Let the Ripple Begin With You

The most impactful changes I’ve made in my life didn’t happen because someone else demanded them.
They happened when I decided I wanted something better for myself.

And you know what?
When I changed, everything around me changed, too.

Relationships improved.
Boundaries became clearer.
Opportunities showed up that had never been possible before—because I wasn’t ready for them until then.

Change starts within.
And from there, it ripples out to everything—and everyone—around you.

SLAY OF THE DAY: What Needs to Change—In You?

  • Do you tend to look outside yourself when things feel off?

  • Have you waited for others to change while staying the same?

  • What’s one thing you’ve wanted to shift in your life—and what would it look like to begin that change within yourself?

  • When have you seen personal growth ripple outward into other areas of your life?

  • Who have you outgrown—and what might that say about the evolution you’re stepping into?

  • What’s one action you can take today to embody the change you want to see?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve seen personal change impact the world around you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been talking about change but unsure where to start, send this to them.
Sometimes, the most powerful shift happens the moment we turn inward.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

Embrace Your Flaws

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There are two kinds of days: good days, and character builders.

SLAY on!

Chapter 20

We Are Not Meant To Be Perfect

I was scrolling through my social feed recently when a post from a friend stopped me in my tracks. She was being hard on herself—and calling herself out for it. That kind of self-awareness is powerful. But it also reminded me just how common it is for us to beat ourselves up for not being perfect.

For most of my life, I felt like I was less than. I believed everyone else had it easier, did it better, or simply was better than me. I didn’t just chase perfection—I punished myself for not catching it. And I know now, that wasn’t living. That was surviving under pressure I created for myself.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned along the way:

We are not meant to be perfect.

The Lie of “Perfection”

Perfection is a moving target. It’s shaped by the media, our upbringing, our culture—and our own inner critic. What’s “perfect” to one person might feel totally wrong to someone else. And yet, we often use it as a ruler to measure our worth.

I used to think if I could just do everything right—look right, act right, succeed right—then I’d finally feel good about myself. But chasing perfection only left me feeling more broken. I saw my mistakes as failures instead of lessons. I saw my body as wrong because it didn’t match an airbrushed image I was never meant to emulate.

The beauty and fashion industries thrive on this illusion. As someone who has worked in that world, I can tell you firsthand: most of what you see has been digitally altered. The people in the photos don’t even look like that in real life. So why are we holding ourselves to impossible standards?

Your Imperfection Is Your Power

True growth happens in the mess. We learn through failure. We build strength through struggle. We connect through our flaws—not despite them, but because of them. And when we stop trying to be perfect, we start learning how to be authentic. That’s when the real magic begins.

What if you let go of the map you were handed and created your own version of “perfect”?
What if your quirks, your softness, your scars—what if those were the most beautiful parts of you?

They are.

When you love the things you can’t change—and commit to working on the things you can—you stop being at war with yourself. You start building a life you actually want to live.

Celebrate Who You Are

We’re all meant to be different. To stand out. To evolve.
So what if instead of chasing the illusion of perfection, you embraced the truth of who you are right now? What if you stopped waiting to feel worthy—and decided you already are?

That’s not weakness. That’s power. And it’s yours to claim.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you chasing an idea of perfection that’s keeping you from loving who you are today?

  • What does “perfect” mean to you—and where did that definition come from?

  • Do you speak kindly to yourself when you fall short, or do you criticize?

  • What parts of yourself do you struggle to accept? Can you reframe them with love?

  • What makes you uniquely you?

  • How can you start celebrating your journey instead of comparing it?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can let go of perfection and embrace who you are right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been beating themselves up for not being perfect, send this to them.
Sometimes, the reminder we need most is that we’re enough—just as we are.