There’s a lot of talk about change right now, and that’s good, the awareness that something might need to be changed and the discussion are the first steps, but I’ve found that any real change in my life has come from myself, how I treat myself, treat others and what I contribute to my community. I have seen relationships repaired in my life because I have changed, not because I’ve tried to fix or change someone else, but because I have focused my energy on changing myself, and when that change is noticed, many times, questions are asked, and, a conversation begins about the changes that are seen, within those conversations changes occur.
When I was living in my disease I pointed the finger at everyone else whenever something was wrong. In my mind it was all your fault, if only you were different, had done something differently or had said something different, I never took responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. And, because of that, the world around me was a very overwhelming place, seemingly so vast and fast-moving that I thought I just had to do whatever I could to get by, not worry so much if it was the right thing, or the truth. There were countless times I had wished people would change, and, thinking back, I’m sure there were countless times people had wished I would, but wishing for change and making changes are too different things, and only one of them will get your results. Most of the time, what disturbs us most about someone else is what we don’t like in ourselves, it’s as if I mirror has been held up in front of us and we don’t like what we see, but we point our finger at the other person and place the blame on them when it’s really ourselves we should be looking at and why we are offended by that image in the mirror. And, even if there is something in someone else we don’t like and we don’t see the connection in ourselves, it is not the job of that other person to change for us, they have every right to be who they are just as we are, it’s about finding compassion and acceptance for that person, or, maybe it’s about realizing that you no longer have anything in common with them or have grown apart, regardless of what the situation is, it’s not up to someone else to change to what we need, we need to look at ourselves and who we’ve chosen to have in our lives.
Life is always showing us new things, revealing information to us, and depending on where we are in our lives it may propel us in a different direction, or open our eyes to something we didn’t know before, and during that process there may be people and situations that no longer seem right to us, and if that’s the case it’s up to us to make the appropriate changes in our own lives, and continue to do so as we become more aware of who we and who we want to be. I’ve seen personal change ripple through my life in a positive way, when I change so does much of who and what is around me, and within that change, I can begin to make changes outside of myself that align with the person I am working to be. Change starts with us and from there it might just change the world. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to point fingers and look for others to change without asking yourself what you can change yourself? How has pointing fingers worked for you? Has it made any positive changes? Thinking about what you would like to see changed in your life, what can you do to begin that change within yourself? Have you tried to make that change before? What happened? What can you do differently this time? What can you do today to make a positive change in your life? How do you think that change will affect those around you? The changes we make can make a difference outside of ourselves, no matter what we do personally those acts don’t just change us, they change everyone that we come into contact with, and if they don’t, it may just indicate that it is time to move on and you may have outgrown a relationship or situation. We all need to move at our own pace and it’s OK to move ahead or off to the side while others do the same. Be true to yourself and always be open to change.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you