Before walking this path I was only focused on my passion. I knew what I was passionate about and almost all of my energy went to that, everything else fell by the wayside. I thought I had to focus only on what my passion for it to be enough, and I also used my passion to hide from the outside world. My passion was everything, and because I made it so, all the other areas in my life suffered, and, I was missing opportunities to try new things, or to head down new avenues because I was so hyper-focused on what I already knew. What I didn’t know is that my passion isn’t just something I love, it’s in me, it’s what makes me come alive and I can bring my passion into everything I do. It wasn’t until I learned that my passion really set my soul on fire.
When I was living in the dark I had a very narrow view of the world, and my life. I wouldn’t let in new things, I was stubborn and set in my ways, only allowing what I thought was right in and not allowing myself to investigate anything further. The minute something new was presented to me I shot it down, I would tell myself that I already knew it wasn’t going to work, or it wasn’t going to be good, or what I wanted to do, and as a result I stayed stuck, and continued to hide in my passion. That way of living was very lonely. And, if I wasn’t able to dive into my passion as I liked in each moment, I felt like I had failed, having nothing else to turn to. I had put all my eggs in one basket and if there was no basket I was lost.
When I set out to find a better way of life I realized what I had been doing. Living for my passion only kept me sick, kept me hidden and didn’t allow me to grow into who I was meant to be. As I learned more and more about myself I learned that my passion is who I am, not what I am, or what I chose to aim my energies at, my passion is that fire that burns inside of me that I can bring with me into any situation, relationship or new venture, and, by knowing that I open myself to all kinds of new ventures I didn’t even know existed before, or never would have considered. That alone fires up my passion. I know today that not one thing is my passion, I can bring it into anything I’m doing and by keeping an open mind and an open heart, I continue to find new passions along this path.
It’s easy to get stuck in one way of thinking, and it’s easy to hide in what your passion may be, but what are you missing around you while you’re doing that? What else may be out there you can also be passionate about, or who? There is so much each day we can bring our passion into and allow ourselves and others to see who we are and what we have to offer, and, we may just learn something about ourselves along the way, and those around us. Our passion can inspire others, it can bring passion to others and it can spark the passion already in you to greater heights. I used to think that I had to focus my passion on one thing, thinking it might be spread to thin to have multiple places to send that passion, and what I know today is that when I bring my passion to everything I do, not only do those things get better, my passion gets stronger and invites others to show their passion too. Show us your passion in everything you do and let it bring you closer to what and who you love. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you bring your passion into everything you do or limit it to what you focus on? If you do limit it, why do you think you do this? Do you use your passion to hide from the outside world? If yes, why? How does this help you? How does this hurt you? What if you allowed the world to see your passion through all that you do? What if you shared it with others? What if you allowed us to see who you are through your passion? Always bring your passion with you into everything situation, it may just lead you to the place your are truly meant to be.
I used to live in could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, might’ve. I would get stuck in the past and replaying it over and over, reliving a moment and what I should’ve done, should’ve said or could’ve done better. I was constantly pulled back to my past, or daydreaming of the future and would might be, while present moments slipped by. What I didn’t realize is that in the present moments were chances to do the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, might’ve actions, but I was missing them because I was living in the past, or, future surfing into what hadn’t even happened yet. Life gives us opportunities to do the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, might’ves if we are able to spot them as they come up. When we get stuck in the past we stay there, missing those opportunities the universe is giving us to do the things we wished we had done differently.
For me, I did this constantly, but I also used it was a way to not take action in my present life. I would stay in the past, thinking, in hind-sight, I was so smart to see how I should’ve done things, but not allowing myself to see that those same situations were coming up and giving me a chance to implement those “great ideas” I had, because the truth is, I didn’t want to change, I didn’t want to do the work and take the right action, it was easier to keep doing what I had always done, get the same results, and then talk about how it should have been done. But that behavior kept me in the dark, it kept me isolated from people and it kept me sick. And wishing, on bad days, that things would change, wasn’t ever going to change anything, I needed to change and I needed to make positive changes in my behavior and actions in the present to secure that life I wanted moving forward. Those changes took a lot of humility. I had to first admit my faults, and admit that I had kept myself from moving on, moving forward and growing, I had let my ego run the show and because I was at fault, the only place it could take me where I could feel superior was the past.
Today I live in the now. I do use the past to help me today, to show me right from wrong, where I can do better, but I don’t live there. Only by living in the now can I stop myself from bending backwards to my past or tip-toeing into the future, and only in the now can I take action for today and set myself up for better choices in the future. Living in the now also stops me from trying to take on things I have no control of, or from trying to take on too much, the whole picture, when all I really have is today. Many times before walking this path I would get so overwhelmed with everything I had to do that I would never actually start, but when I look at what’s in front of me, in the moment, I can break things down into what’s important, what I can do right now and work my way through that list, and before I know it, I’ve made progress. That way of life helps me to keep balance.
Make sure to make room for today. It’s great to learn from the past, but don’t live there, if you do, you may just miss those opportunities to right those wrongs that pull you back and you may hold yourself back from where you are meant to be. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find that you get pulled back into your past? Are there specific times or events that you go to? Is there something you can change about those times or events? What can you take away or learn from them that you can apply to your life today? Do you think that there may have been opportunities to change patterns in your life based on your past experiences, but because you’re stuck in the past you’ve missed those opportunities in the present? What can you do to live in the now today? How can you look for situations that may have come up in your past that you now have a chance to make right, or make better decisions? Look for the those moments SLAYER, to use what you’ve learned from your past to take positive action today, in your present, and set yourself up for a brighter future.
Before walking this path, I constantly asked myself how.
How did I let things get this bad? How had I lost control of my life? How could I stop the pain?
What I didn’t realize was that the answer was in the question itself: H.O.W.—Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.
It was right in front of me the whole time. I just wasn’t ready to see it.
The Missing Ingredient
Back then, I wasn’t practicing any of those things. I was stubborn. I wasn’t being honest about my part in my suffering. And I wasn’t willing to change.
I had to fall a lot further before I finally landed on my knees and asked for help. That pain—the kind I had a hand in creating—was the very thing that pushed me to take action. Once I committed to getting better, I was told I had to live by H.O.W.
To get rigorously honest. To stay open to new ways of doing things. To be willing to do the work.
It didn’t all come at once. Sometimes willingness was all I had—and that was enough to begin. Because willingness almost always leads to action, and action leads to change.
A Lifelong Practice
Today, I still check in with myself using H.O.W. I ask:
Am I being honest about where I am?
Am I open to the next right step?
Am I willing to take action even when it’s uncomfortable?
Because here’s the truth: we don’t graduate from this work. We stay in it. We grow from it. And we live better because of it.
You Already Have the Answer
No matter where you are on your journey, ask yourself: Are you living with H.O.W.?
Are you stuck somewhere because it feels comfortable—or because you think it’s where you deserve to be?
When you get honest about your answers, stay open to new perspectives, and become willing to act, you can change your entire life.
H.O.W. isn’t just a tool. It’s the roadmap.
You hold the key. SLAY on.
SLAY Reflection: What’s Your H.O.W. Check-In?
Do you keep asking how you got to where you are—and how to break the cycle?
Are you being truly honest about your patterns and choices?
How open are you to doing things differently—even if it’s unfamiliar?
What small action can you take today with willingness at the center?
What would your life look like if you really leaned into H.O.W.?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you. What’s one way you can practice honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s ready for change but doesn’t know where to start, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a roadmap—and a nudge.
We’re all mirrors for each other. We have more in common than we think, and when we allow ourselves to look for the similarities instead of the differences, something powerful happens—we begin to see ourselves in others. And when we truly see ourselves, healing begins.
Before I started this path, I wasn’t open to that idea. I judged others. I needed to feel better than the people around me, so I pointed out what separated us. I picked at their flaws to cover up my own. It made me feel superior—but it also kept me sick and isolated.
The truth? I believed I was a piece of crap, but still thought I had a better solution than you did. That’s how twisted my thinking was. It wasn’t until someone shared their story with me—raw and honest—that something shifted. I saw myself in them. For the first time, I recognized my reflection in someone else. And it changed everything.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
Seeing the Truth in Someone Else
They had the same mental illness I did. They struggled the way I had. But they were getting help. They were doing the work.
In that moment, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I wasn’t different. I wasn’t better. I was just like them. And if they could find a way forward… maybe I could too.
The Power of Similarities
Early in recovery, I was told: “Look for the similarities, not the differences.” That became my mantra.
So I listened. I really listened—to what people were saying, how they were living, what they were feeling. And the more I listened, the more I saw myself reflected in their stories. I began to connect.
But here’s the thing: you have to be willingto see it. You have to let go of the need to feel different or better. You have to get honest about who you are.
And sometimes that honesty is tough. Those mirrors don’t lie. They show us the parts of ourselves we’ve been trying to hide.
Learning to Accept the Reflection
Looking in the mirror hasn’t always been easy. There were times I saw things I didn’t like. But I knew if I wanted to get better, I had to face it.
That meant living with rigorous honesty. If I saw something in myself I didn’t like, I had to:
Address it
Change it
Or learn to accept it if I couldn’t
We all walk around with mirrors. Sometimes our reflection helps others. Sometimes someone else’s reflection helps us. Nothing is accidental. We cross paths with the people we’re meant to—people who inspire us, challenge us, or show us who we really are.
And if we’re paying attention, those reflections can save our lives.
From Shame to Shared Light
I no longer hide my reflection. I don’t carry shame about what I’ve lived through or how far I’ve come. My reflection is what connects me to others. And if someone else sees a piece of themselves in me? Even better.
Because just like someone else once helped me recognize myself, maybe my story—my mirror—can help someone else too.
I also pay attention to what I see in other people. If I’m triggered, if something feels off or uncomfortable, I ask myself: What is this showing me about me? Maybe it’s something I need to look at. Maybe it’s something I need to change. Maybe it’s something I need to love.
Recognizing myself in someone else’s reflection is what saved my life. And it might just save yours—if you’re willing to look.
SLAY Reflection: What Do You See?
Are you open to seeing the commonality in others? What might be keeping you from looking?
Do you sometimes feel superior to others? Where did that come from—and how might it be holding you back?
What reflections have others shown you about yourself lately? How did you respond to them?
Are there parts of your reflection you’ve been avoiding? What’s one small step you can take toward healing or accepting it?
Have you ever seen yourself in someone else—and felt less alone because of it? How did that moment change you?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever seen yourself in someone else’s story—and how did that moment change you? Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who needs a reminder that they’re not alone, send this to them. Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
We all want to get to where we’re going, even if we don’t know where that is. We seem to want to get there even faster when we do know where we want to go and have been working to get there. We can get so focused on the finish line that we miss all of the days and moments in between, and may miss all those milestones we pass along the way that we should be acknowledging, celebrating and appreciating as we travel the journey to where we are meant to be.
I used to be guilty of this. I was so focused on what I wanted to accomplish that I had blinders on and would focus so much that I couldn’t see anything else, and was closed off to anything else other than where I wanted to get to. The trouble with living like that is that we are living the future, we’re not present and taking in life around us as we go. We can miss a lot when live this way, I know I did, and there could be many signs around us every day that we may actually be on the wrong path, but if we’re only open to seeing the the end result we want to see, we’ll never see those signs, good, or bad, and we’ll keep barreling along, perhaps in the wrong direction. For me, I also was so focused on the destination I wanted to get to because I was trying to force it into being by sheer willpower, and I used that drive to get to where I wanted to go to escape from what was really going on in my life. I thought, if I focused so much on where I wanted to go I wouldn’t have time to see where I actually was, and that the place I was at may actually prohibit me from ever reaching the goals and my dreams. That’s one vicious circle. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to live rigorously honest, and to stay present that I could really, truthfully, live in a way that honored where I currently was and what I was working towards at the same time. It also meant I needed to be flexible. To be open to new ideas and avenues and be willing to amend my plan because there might be something else out there that I hadn’t thought about or even knew about. Since walking this path my goals have shifted somewhat. There are things that remain the same, but because I’ve been open to new ideas and have said yes to things, so many more avenues have been revealed to me and have changed what gives me the most happiness. I wouldn’t have discovered any of those things if I had remained only focused on what I thought was going to make me happy or what I wanted to accomplish. Life will show you the way, if you are open to receiving it’s message.
Take time to look around each day and see what else may be out there, behind what you think you know already is. When you walk through life willing to take in new ideas and new goals you will be directed to where you are meant to be. There is so much more out there than what we can imagine in our minds, we only know what we’ve experienced so far, we don’t know what else is possible beyond that. Let others share their journey with you, be open to what may be out there, and work towards finding your best self, once you’re doing that, you are ready to reach those goals of your dreams. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open to new ideas or do you stay fixated on where you think you want to go? If you’re not open to new ideas, what stops you? If you are open, how has your openness lead you to a place you never would have gotten to if you had continually said no? What have you accomplished that you hadn’t planned on, but because you were open find a new destination or goal to focus on you found another place for yourself? What have you taken a chance on and just said yes? What have you said no to that may have held you back? How can you still find your way to the place you may have meant to be when you said no? Allow yourself to enjoy the journey, there here and now, instead of just focused on where you want to be, because you’re never going to get somewhere by ignoring where you are right now.
