Author: Carrie Genzel

Become Aware Of What’s Really Worth Your Energy

Not everything deserves your energy.
Not everyone deserves your light.
And before I began walking this path, I gave too much of myself to things—and people—that didn’t give anything back.

I stayed in relationships long after they served me. I committed to obligations that drained me. I was loyal… but loyal to a fault. And I confused that loyalty with self-worth, not realizing that I was spending my energy in all the wrong places.

The result? I was exhausted. Depleted. And stuck.

What You Feed Grows—So Be Careful What You Water

For years, I never asked myself what I truly enjoyed. What sparked something in me. What made me feel alive. Instead, I filled my schedule with what I thought I should do—and surrounded myself with people who didn’t challenge me to grow.

I gave my energy to places that led me deeper into the dark.
And then I wondered why I always felt empty.

When I began my journey of recovery, I had to reevaluate everything—starting with where I spent my time, attention, and heart. I was building a new life, one that was rooted in healing. That meant I had to get honest about where my energy had been going, and whether it fit the future I was trying to create.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Say Yes to What Fills You

But here’s what that shift gave me:
Permission to explore.
Permission to say yes to new things.
Permission to relearn what I actually wanted from my life.

I began investing energy in what inspired me. I sought out supportive friendships, joyful experiences, and moments of growth. I said goodbye to relationships that only existed to keep me small. I stopped chasing validation and started chasing purpose.

That’s what recovery gave me: the ability to choose where I shine my light—and the awareness to know when I’m shining it in the wrong direction.

Energy Is Currency. Spend It Wisely.

I still get it wrong sometimes. I still overextend myself. I still jump in too fast, too hard, too deep. But today, I know how to check in with myself. I know what it feels like to be energized versus drained. And I know when it’s time to pull back, realign, and reinvest my energy where it belongs.

Energy is precious.
It’s your power.
Protect it.
Spend it wisely.
Let it guide you toward the light, not drag you back into the dark.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Where are you spending your energy—and is it worth the cost?

  • Do you find yourself giving too much to people, places, or things that don’t give back?

  • What makes you feel depleted? What fills you up?

  • Are there relationships or obligations you’ve outgrown?

  • Why do you think you stay? What would it look like to step back?

  • How can you redirect your energy toward what brings you joy, purpose, and peace?

You are allowed to protect your energy. You are allowed to choose yourself.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re reclaiming your energy and investing it where it matters?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s giving too much of themselves to the wrong things, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder: your energy is sacred. Treat it that way.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Rejection is nothing more than direction, make it work for you!

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Rejection

Learning To Accept Rejection

Rejection used to devastate me. I would let it destroy my day, my relationships and my spirit. I gave rejection the power to validate me and value my place in this world. And I let it hurt me, and, at times, invited it to.  Sometimes, I sought it out to hurt myself, to continue telling the narrative that I was a bad person who didn’t deserve good things. It was a constant internal battle, of me striving to reach goals and maintain healthy relationships in my life and me, subconsciously, wanting to tear it all down. I had to learn to accept rejection, and, learn not to use it as a personal weapon of assault.

When I was living in the dark, I constantly fought to find some light. I would muster any kind of postivity and hope I could, but there was always an underlying layer of doubt that would block me from ever fully believing I could attain what it was I was looking or working for. I also believed back then that rejection was the universe telling me I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve what it was I wanted, and I let that belief continue to push me down into depression and despair. As I began to take the road of recovery and started to get better, I realized that rejection is nothing more than a change in direction. Sometimes it is there to save us from heading somewhere we shouldn’t be, or from a situation that may be harmful to us. It’s not always easy for us to see what rejection may be saving us from, but there have been many times, when I’ve looked back, where I was able to see how it had, and so in times that I may feel hurt or angry over not getting what I had wanted, I can lean on the faith that I have that I am being directed in the right direction and that that rejection was just that, a redirection, it wasn’t there to tell me I wasn’t good enough to have succeeded or have gotten what I wanted, but that I may have been looking in the wrong place. That negative chatter in our heads will always try to convince us otherwise, but it has ulterior motives, to keep us down. When we make a conscious effort to change our thinking, we can learn to look at rejection as something that may actually be helping us, showing us the way, teaching us, or letting us know where we need to improve or work a little harder, none of that is bad, if we choose to look at it as a tool to help us. I previously wrote a blog called, The Universe Is On Your Side, where I talk about living life as if it’s rigged in your favor, now I realize it doesn’t always seem that way, but when we choose to look at life’s rejections as guidance, we may be able to see how things aren’t as stacked up against us we think, or have been lead to believe.

Look for opportunities to make the rejections in your life tools to help you and show you the way. Don’t listen to that negative self-talk that tells you you’re not good enough or don’t deserve what you’re wanting and working for, counter that talk with some constructive chatter that allows you to look for another opportunity or place where you can share the best of what you’ve got, also allowing those moments to teach you and encourage you to learn and continue to improve in areas that will help to get you to where you want to go. Rejection, in many cases, may be a blessing, as they may be saving you from an even worse situation, or a place you are not meant to be in. Trust that the rejection in your life is there for a reason, and use that opportunity to explore where you should be going next. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let rejection get you down? Do you expect rejection in your life? If yes, why? When has rejection, looking back, actually saved you from something? What was that? How has it helped you to grow or learn? Has it pushed you to work harder or improve areas in your life? How? Do you see how rejection may be there to show you where to go and not go? Do you see how it can be, in many cases, a positive thing? How has it been positive in your life? Allowing ourselves to get beaten down by rejection is just a form of self-harm, allowing those negative places within us to take over and pull us into the darkness, take your power back and refuse to believe that place within us that feeds off negativity, allow the light to come in and choose to let rejection be a positive influence in your life, guiding you to where you are meant to be and allowing you to work to be your best self.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good afternoon SLAYER! It’s not the weight that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Feel The Weight

Not Everything That Weighs You Down Is Yours To Carry

This week has been heavy.
Not just in the day-to-day busyness, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

And as I took a step back, I asked myself a question I’ve learned to come back to again and again:
Is all of this mine to carry?

The answer?
No.
But that hasn’t stopped me from dragging it around—tight-chested, overwhelmed, and bone-tired.

Like many of us, I juggle a lot every day.
And most of the time, I believe I can handle it all.
Until I can’t.
Until I hit a wall.
And when I do, I don’t always meet myself with grace.
Sometimes, I meet myself with frustration and shame.

Even when I know better, I still find myself slipping into old habits—trying to carry it all.
No one is asking me to.
Help is there if I reach for it.
But there I go, dragging the weight of the world across some invisible finish line I made up in my head.

It’s time to pause.
To take a breath—or a few—and ask myself what I’ve picked up along the way that never belonged to me in the first place.

We Learn to Carry What We Don’t Need

Before recovery, I carried everything.
It never occurred to me that I could set anything down.

The emotional weight.
The resentment.
The guilt.
The responsibility for people and problems that were never mine to begin with.

I just kept going—until I couldn’t.

Eventually, I hit a wall.
Hard.
And that wall was the wake-up call I needed.
I couldn’t live that way anymore.
It was slowly destroying me.

So I asked for help.
Not just with what I was carrying—but with how I lived.

Learning to Let Go of What’s Not Yours

Through recovery, I discovered something profound:
A lot of what I was carrying wasn’t mine.

Some of it was inherited—passed down through family, expectations, trauma.
Some of it I volunteered to carry—because I wanted to feel helpful, needed, or in control.

And some of it… I carried on purpose to sabotage myself.
To stay small.
To stay exhausted.
To prove that I couldn’t do more, be more, live more.

That’s the hard truth.
Sometimes, we don’t just carry what’s not ours—we choose it.

But once I got honest with myself, I realized I had a choice.
To let go.
To say no.
To only carry what actually belonged to me.

And that changed everything.

What’s Yours—and What’s Not

There will always be people who would gladly let you carry their weight.
There will be moments when you try to carry someone else’s pain, fear, or responsibility—uninvited.

But that doesn’t mean you have to.

Being helpful doesn’t mean taking on someone else’s journey.
Being strong doesn’t mean carrying more than you should.
Being loving doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

We are responsible for ourselves.
For our peace.
For honoring what we need.

That starts with putting down what was never yours to carry in the first place.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Carrying?

  1. Do you tend to carry more weight than you need to—physically, emotionally, or mentally?
    What does that weight feel like?

  2. What are you carrying that doesn’t actually belong to you?
    Who gave it to you—and why did you accept it?

  3. Are there responsibilities, emotions, or expectations you’ve taken on to feel valuable or in control?
    How are they serving you? How are they hurting you?

  4. What would it feel like to put that weight down—even just a little?
    What would change?

  5. What can you do today to lighten your load and honor your limits?
    Where can you say no, ask for help, or simply rest?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one burden you’ve been carrying that isn’t actually yours—and how are you learning to let it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s overwhelmed by weight they were never meant to carry, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The first step to getting what you want is getting rid of what you don’t.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Beautiful

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Impress people with the things you are, not the things you have.

SLAY on!

state-of-slay Things

Never Search In The Branches For What Is Found In The Roots

Before walking my current path, I often would get distracted by shiny sparkly things. I had a constant list of things on my “want” list, and those things, when I did obtain them, became like a drug that I was continuously chasing. The items I was buying were like my armor, or so I thought, I wore each of them like a badge of honor, but that hit I would feel was fleeting, and then I was on the to next item on my list, chasing the same high. I was like that with people too, I didn’t collect them, but I would look for the people who were flashy, who looked good from the outside, and outside I admired or envied, and an outside I compared my insides to.

I always thought everyone else had it easier than did. I watched other people and wanted what they had, but I truly didn’t know what I was asking for, because all I was seeing was what was being presented to the world, and not what was truly going on. I didn’t even consider that there was possibly two different versions, even though I was presenting two myself. I just got caught up on what the outside looked like, thinking if I could make my outside look perfect than maybe I could have a shiny sparkly life too. No such luck. You see, what I was admiring, or attracted to, didn’t really exist a lot of the time, I was fixating on someone else’s seemingly incredible life, not realizing that there could be things I didn’t know. There were also a lot of things I didn’t know about myself, because I hadn’t bothered to ask, or, gotten to know myself, and instead of asking, I just kept trying to cover up those blank spaces with more shiny sparkly things.

When I made the commitment to get well I was told I had learn to love myself. I didn’t even know how to begin, or, if it was even possible. It was. And as I got to know myself for the first time, and, did learn to love myself, that long list of things I had been attracted to didn’t seem to important anymore. What was important was finding forgiveness for myself, and others, and to learn who I was and what was truly important to me. Turns out it was none of those exterior or material things that used dominate my time, and mind, it was finding an inner peace and filling myself with gratitude, love and connection to something bigger than myself. I also learned on my journey to finding those things that most of the people who I had admired, or even envied, for “having it all” or much of what I wanted, also had struggles and challenges of their own that I didn’t see. I realized that my journey and struggles was much like other people, who were also working to do the same as I, and that the solution was not in people, places and things I was trying to obtain or possess. I had to stop worrying about what my branches looked like to everyone else, and start focusing on the health of my roots. That is where my strength, happiness and freedom was, in the roots, if I was to grow and keep myself on solid footing and to keep myself nourished so I could continue to grow, I had to feel like l was on solid ground.

It’s easy to look around and assume that what we see is how it is, but most times it’s not. We, as a society then to put our best foot forward when we are out in the world, we show each other what we want to show, not necessarily the truth of what may be going on, and yet we judge ourselves and how we feel by these outside personas, which could be far removed from the reality of what’s truly going on. Finding a way to connect with your true self and what makes you feel whole is the way to finding peace, there isn’t anything that can be bought or obtained that can do that job or take it’s place, we may try, and it may work for a while, but ultimately the way to our peace is an inside job, one that will take a lot of honesty and courage to work on, but the one that will give you the most rewarding gift you can give yourself, freedom to love who you are and what you are, no matter what your branches may look like today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to judge your insides to other people’s outsides? Do you realize you are doing this? How does it make you feel? Do you think it’s fare to do this to yourself? Do you present the best of yourself when you are out in the world? Do you think others do the same and do not share their real truth? If yes, then how can you compare how you feel with someone else based on what you see? Do you try to fill those gaps or holes inside with outside things? How do you this? Does it work? For how long? How do you think you can start to fill the gaps yourself, without reaching for something else to try to do the job for you? Work on that SLAYER. The true way, and only way to fill those gaps and feel whole is to love and honor yourself, to do and say those things that make you feel whole. Find what fills you up from the inside, find love for yourself and share that love, as you do those roots beneath your feet will become stronger and give you the foundation you need to shine and share your beautiful branches.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! No one can go back and make a brand new start, but you can start now and make a brand new ending.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

state-of-slay-Waiting

You Don’t Need A New Day To Start

We love to wait for Mondays, fresh starts, or even January 1st. But here’s the thing:

You don’t need a new day to start. You just need a new moment.

Back when I was sick, I would talk myself out of the very things that would help me feel better. I set rules and parameters for when change could begin: it had to be Monday, or the first of the month, or it had to happen first thing in the morning. If I didn’t start exactly the way I imagined, I would convince myself the whole day or week was ruined.

So I waited.

I waited for the right conditions, the right mindset, the right time. I raised the bar high enough to make sure I couldn’t reach it—so I didn’t have to try.

But what I didn’t realize then was this:

Waiting to be perfect was just another form of self-sabotage.

And I was the one building the prison around me—and holding the key.

The Shift: Start Where You Are

When I hit bottom—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—I couldn’t wait for another Monday. I didn’t have that kind of time.

So I started right then. That moment.

I got honest with myself. I told the truth out loud. I reached out for help and made myself accountable. That decision became a line in the sand.

It wasn’t smooth. It wasn’t pretty. But it was real. And that was enough.

I had to shift my mindset from “all or nothing” to “learn and move forward.” If I slipped, I didn’t have to wait for a clean slate tomorrow—I was the clean slate. I could start again in that same breath, with that same heart, right where I was.

The Gift of Failing Forward

Failure wasn’t the enemy. It was part of the process.

Your setbacks don’t have to send you all the way back.

They can become the stepping stones forward.

We are meant to fall. We are meant to get back up. It’s in those stumbles that we build strength, perspective, and resilience. If we can acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and keep going—that’s growth.

And that’s what recovery taught me:

Every moment is a moment you can begin again.

Don’t Wait. Begin.

There is no magical date on the calendar that will make everything easier. There’s just right now. And then the next now.

If you want the change, the dream, the life that feels just out of reach—go after it now. Not tomorrow. Not when things settle down. Now.

Because even if you fall, you’ll fall forward. You’ll fall into wisdom. You’ll fall into growth. And you’ll rise stronger each time.

You don’t need a new day to start, Slayer. You just need to decide.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Do I wait for the “perfect time” to make a change?
  • How do I react when I slip or fall short?
  • What would it feel like to simply continue on instead of starting over?
  • Do I use setbacks as punishment?
  • What would it look like to honor my growth instead?

S – L – A – Y

S: Stop waiting for a better time.
L: Learn from every step, even the stumbles.
A: Allow yourself to keep going without starting over.
Y: Yield to the truth that your next moment can be your best one yet.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you wait for the “right time” to begin? What would it look like to just begin now—no matter what today looks like?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s putting their life on pause waiting for the right time, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.