Author: Carrie Genzel

No One Can Drive You Crazy Unless You Give Them The Keys

We’ve all had those moments—when someone gets under our skin, disrupts our peace, and throws our entire day off course. Sometimes, it’s a conversation. Other times, it’s a repeated behavior. And before we know it, we’re consumed—playing it over and over in our minds, stewing in frustration, resentment, or defeat.

But here’s the truth:
They only have that power if we hand them the keys.

For a long time, I didn’t see that.
I thought I was just a victim of circumstance, or worse—other people.
But what I was really doing was giving away control.
Letting someone else take the wheel.
And then wondering why I kept crashing.

The Cost of Handing Over the Wheel

In my past, I gave away the keys to my peace all the time.

Sometimes it was people-pleasing—I didn’t want anyone to be upset with me, so I’d go along with something even when it didn’t feel right.
Other times, I hoped that if I just tolerated enough, something good would eventually come of it.
And then there were times I gave away control so I could keep telling the same story: that I was the victim.
That life happened to me.
That I had no power.

It kept me sick.
It kept me stuck.
And it kept me in relationships, situations, and patterns that were not good for me.

Recovery Handed Me Back the Keys

When I began my recovery journey, one of the first things I had to do was take radical responsibility for my own life.

That meant owning my choices.
Being honest with myself about my part.
And realizing that I could no longer blame other people for how I felt, what I did, or what direction my life was going in.

It was sobering at first.
But also liberating.
Because if I had the power to give the keys away…
I also had the power to take them back.

Who’s Driving?

Here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t complain about where your life is going if you’ve let someone else steer.

Yes—people may have opinions.
Yes—they might try to sway you.
But at the end of the day, you are the one in the driver’s seat.

You decide what’s best for you.
You set the course.
And if someone keeps reaching for the wheel?
It might be time to rethink whether they belong in your vehicle at all.

Emotional Hijacking

Letting someone else “drive” doesn’t always look like direct control.
Sometimes, it’s letting a comment ruin your whole day.
Or replaying an argument in your mind on loop.
Or getting pulled into drama that has nothing to do with you.

These are all ways we give our power away.
All ways we hand over the keys—without even realizing it.

Today, I choose to drive.
Even when the road gets bumpy.
Even when I make a wrong turn.
Because it’s my journey, and I’d rather learn from my own mistakes than crash because someone else took the wheel.

SLAY Reflection: Who’s Driving Your Life?

  1. Do you let others emotionally hijack your peace?
    What triggers this—and how often does it happen?

  2. Have you given someone the power to influence your thoughts, decisions, or direction?
    How does that make you feel?

  3. Are you holding onto resentment or trying to control situations that no longer involve you?
    What would happen if you let that go?

  4. Is there someone in your life who repeatedly tries to take the wheel?
    Is that a healthy relationship—or something that needs to shift?

  5. What can you do today to take your power back and stay in the driver’s seat?
    What boundary needs to be drawn—or reinforced?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever handed someone else the keys to your peace—and what did it take to take them back?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s giving away their power, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! To fear is one thing, but to let it pick you up by the tail and swing you around is another.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Awareness is the key to making change.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted by yourself.

SLAY on!
You are not really listening unless you are willing to have your

When We’re In Fear, We’re Not Present

Fear has a way of creeping in quietly—and taking over quickly. It pulls us out of the present moment and plants us firmly in the past or the future, playing out worst-case scenarios or old wounds on repeat. But the truth is, when we’re in fear, we’re not really here.

What Fear Steals From Us

I had a conversation recently with a friend who found herself back in a familiar situation—and right back in fear. The feelings were intense: paralyzing anxiety, overwhelming self-doubt, and a fear of losing what she wanted or not getting what she needed. We talked about what fear does—how it derails relationships, distorts truth, and keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns.

And most of all, how it removes us from the now.

I know this pattern well. Before walking this path, fear ran the show. Most of my decisions—if not all—were made out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being seen. Fear of being invisible. I either braced for impact or ran from it.

But fear can’t survive in the present. That’s something I’ve learned in recovery. When I’m rooted in what’s real—what’s right in front of me—fear starts to lose its grip. I may still feel nervous or uncertain, but I’m no longer frozen. I can take action. I can stay grounded. I can breathe.

What Staying Present Makes Possible

When I stay in the moment, I stay in the facts. I don’t get lost in what-ifs. I focus on the next right step.

That’s not to say I don’t feel fear anymore—I do. But I don’t let it drive the car. I know now that fear often tells lies. It tries to convince me that I don’t have options. That I’m still that scared version of myself who had no choice but to repeat the same mistakes. But I’m not. I’ve walked through fire and come out stronger. And each time I’ve stepped into fear, I’ve stepped through it.

Sometimes fear pops up when I try something new. Sometimes it whispers when I begin to grow. But when I remember how many times I’ve faced fear and survived—when I recall the freedom that follows courage—it helps me stay centered.

You don’t have to let fear run your life. You can acknowledge it, feel it, and still take the next step. That’s what growth is.

Don’t Let Fear Take the Wheel

We all experience fear. Some of it is healthy—like instinctive caution that keeps us safe. But the fear that stops us from showing up fully? That keeps us from chasing dreams or forming meaningful relationships? That’s the fear worth challenging.

Stay grounded. Stay curious. Stay present.

Because the only place you can make real change—the only place you can grow—is right here, right now.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Face the Fear, Stay in the Now

  • What fear has been holding you back lately?
  • Is it rooted in your past—or something that hasn’t even happened yet?
  • How does fear show up in your body, thoughts, or relationships?
  • What can you do today—right now—to ground yourself in the present?
  • When have you faced fear and come out stronger? What did you learn?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How has fear shown up in your life—and how do you bring yourself back to the present?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a fear loop, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that we’re not alone—and we’re braver than we think.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

Let Go Of The Life You Live

Choosing Between Character And Comfort

We’ve all heard it before: nothing grows in the comfort zone. And yet, how often do we stay there—stuck, cozy, and convinced that if we just wait long enough, life might change for us? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Growth, healing, and real transformation require us to choose character over comfort. Every single time.

When Comfort Becomes a Cage

Before I began this journey, I was driven in my career but paralyzed in my personal, mental, and spiritual life. I stuck with what I knew—old patterns, destructive habits, relationships that didn’t serve me—because it felt familiar. Comfortable, even.

But comfort can be deceiving. What I thought was a safe place was actually a cage I had built with my own hands. And the longer I stayed there, the darker it became. Things didn’t magically get better—they got worse. I wasn’t growing, I was withering. And still, I stayed, because discomfort felt scarier than decline.

Until it didn’t. Until staying stuck became scarier than change. That’s when I reached out from the darkness. That’s when I chose the light.

The Shift Toward Character

When I finally said yes to healing, I had to make peace with being uncomfortable. Growth didn’t feel good at first. It felt hard. But I kept showing up. I dug my heels in and used that stubbornness—the same stubbornness that once held me back—to push me forward.

Little by little, I shifted my focus from staying comfortable to building character. And you know what happened? That new discomfort became my new normal. And over time, it started to feel like home.

I began to recognize something important: when I feel uncomfortable now, it usually means I’m growing. Stretching. Evolving. That discomfort is a signal I’m doing something right, not wrong.

And when life feels too comfortable again? That’s when I check in with myself. Have I stopped stretching? Settled for less? Avoided the next step out of fear? If so, it’s time to move.

Growth Doesn’t Come From Playing Small

It’s easy to stay where we are—especially when we know it, even if it doesn’t serve us. But we are not meant to play small. We are meant to rise, expand, and become the fullest version of ourselves.

The discomfort you feel? That might be the edge of your breakthrough.

Choose character. Choose growth. Choose to step forward, even when it’s scary. Your potential is waiting for you outside the lines you’ve drawn.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Step Into the Uncomfortable

  • Are you stuck in your comfort zone? What signs are showing up for you?
  • How might staying comfortable be holding you back from the life you want?
  • What would it look like to choose growth, even if it feels hard?
  • What past experience taught you that discomfort leads to breakthrough?
  • What small, brave step can you take today to choose character over comfort?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re choosing growth over comfort right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a comfort zone, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge toward the edge of possibility.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Let the kindness in and allow yourself to be loved.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Accepting Kindness

Accepting Kindness

We’re often quick to share kindness—offering help, lending an ear, giving generously. But receiving it? That’s where many of us stumble. We second-guess it. We deflect. We tell ourselves we haven’t earned it, that we’re not worthy. But here’s the truth: kindness isn’t something we have to earn. It’s something we all deserve—and learning to receive it is just as powerful as learning to give it.

The Tug-of-War of Worth

Before I found the path I’m on now, I wasn’t big on giving kindness freely—and when I did, it was usually with strings attached. I wanted something in return, even if it was just validation. But I also believed I didn’t deserve kindness in return. There was a constant tug-of-war in my head: I wanted more kindness in my life, but I didn’t think I was worthy of it.

As I began healing, I was encouraged to start small. Ask someone how their day was and really listen. Hold space. Offer support. Those were simple acts I could give. But when it came to receiving kindness—from compliments to genuine help—I didn’t know what to do with it. A friend told me something that changed my thinking: “If you don’t accept someone’s kindness, you’re rejecting their intention. You’re telling them they’re wrong for thinking you deserve it.”

That hit me. Hard.

Receiving Is Also Giving

So I started saying thank you. Even when it made me uncomfortable. Even when my inner critic screamed I hadn’t earned it. And you know what happened? I started to believe it. I started to see myself through the eyes of those offering kindness. And I realized: by receiving their gift, I was giving something back. I was honoring their choice to give. I was sharing a moment of connection.

Today, I practice both giving and receiving kindness. And I understand that kindness is a circle—it flows. When we shut it down, we stop the flow for everyone. But when we receive it, we keep it moving.

Let it in. Say thank you. Accept the gift. You deserve it.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Let the Kindness In

  • Do you believe you deserve kindness? Why or why not?
  • How do you show kindness to others? How do you feel when you do?
  • How do you react when someone offers you kindness?
  • What stories or beliefs might be blocking you from receiving?
  • What would it look like to accept kindness today—without guilt, without deflection?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can practice receiving kindness today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who struggles to accept support, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a gentle reminder that we’re worthy.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is no such thing as starting from square one because from where you’re starting from you have more knowledge, strength and power than you had before.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Journey Never Over

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! We can’t go back to the beginning but we can work today to change our ending.

SLAY on!

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