Many of us have two sides. The side we show the world, and the other when no one is watching. What we do when others are around and what we do when we’re alone, or no one is watching, should be the same, we should conduct ourselves always with honor and integrity, but many times that’s not what happens, and there’s a side of us comes out when we think we’re about to get away with something, and we might, but, at what cost?
Before walking this path I played many different roles depending on who I was with, or, if someone was watching. Because I played the victim most of the time I felt justified when I felt I got away with something I shouldn’t have. It could have been as simple as the cashier not charging me for an item in my cart, and instead of correcting the mistake I would smile inside and count that as a win because life owed me. But life didn’t owe me, and at what price did that free item really cost me? You see, even though I felt like life owed me I was raised to know the difference between right and wrong, and I knew that not speaking up in the moment was wrong, as was walking out of the store with an unpaid item in my bag. That free item ended up costing me a lot because I would carry around the guilt of that item and give it permission to tell me I was a bad person for taking it home and essentially stealing it. That one item would haunt me until the next time I would do something when I thought no one was looking or noticed, and then that would take over. That moment when we have the choice to do the right thing or the wrong thing can be an exhilarating moment, like a kid standing in the candy aisle wanting to grab something and run out, we all remember that feeling, and I don’t know about you, but I remember doing that once as a kid and getting caught, and that feeling of humiliation afterward, but as adults we think we know better, we think we’re slicker and faster on our feet than when we were kids, and we may be, but we can’t run from our conscience.
When I made a commitment to learn to love myself and honor who I wanted to be, who I truly was, I made a commitment to stop that behavior, to always act as if someone was watching because someone was, me, and no matter what the situation was I owed it to myself to do the right thing. Doing the right thing today feels far better than any time I felt I got away with something because I don’t have to carry the burden of knowing I did something that was beneath me, and could bring me down. Especially during these times it is even more important to me to do the right thing, to show others respect, to try to help or be of service where I can and to bring good positive energy into a room. When I began this road of recovery I was encouraged to do good things for people, and I was told that if they found it that act didn’t count and I needed to find another, because it’s not about taking credit or getting acknowledged for our good deeds it’s about doing the right thing because it’s right, and because we are good.
The next time you find yourself in a situation where you have a choice to do what’s right or get away with something, no matter how small, make the choice that honors not only you and those around you, nothing has more value than your own self-esteem and self-worth. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you behave the same way even if you know no one is watching? If not, why not? How do you behave differently? Why do you think it’s OK to behave differently? How does that affect you? Do you feel guilty if you behave differently? Why do you do it? What was the last thing you thought you got away with? How did that make you feel? How does it make you feel when you do the right thing, or something nice for someone else? Why do you think you still want to try to get away with things when doing the right thing feels better? Or, does it? We all inherently know right from wrong, and we may have that little kid in us or hurt adult who is looking for payback, but the only person we are stealing from is ourselves. Doing the right thing is the right thing.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you