We are what we allow, and when we allow others to show and tell us that we are not worthy, we lower our own worth. Our worth and value come from us. From inside. From whom we are and what we stand for. It cannot be bought, truly, although status can be, that status does not make someone worthy unless they believe they are, from their acts, not their bank account or family ties. Worth is something that we have to feel, have to know, in ourselves, deep down in our core. And when we know it, and feel it, we find it harder to stay around people who don’t.
When I was living in the darkness I didn’t know my worth, in fact, I didn’t think I had any, and because of that I treated myself like I didn’t have any and made choices every day that chipped away at my worth. I allowed myself to think negative things about myself, and I chose to engage with people that would allow me to continue telling the narrative that I had no worth. Those things contributed to me believing I was worthless and had nothing to contribute. I placed importance on material things and my career goals, and if I did not get what I wanted that again started the negative narrative that I was not good enough and didn’t deserve good things. In my eyes, my worth was almost zero and as a result I continued to make choices that played into my low self-worth.
It took a lot to come back from that belief and making the decision to learn to love myself as I started a new path on recovery. When I began I was not even able to look at myself in the mirror, or tell myself that I loved myself, it physically would not come out of my mouth, so the road from there to where I am now was a steep incline. I did not do it alone though, I had a lot of support from others who had also walked this path, or were right where I was, along with some professional guidance. I started small and was encouraged to actively seek out those things I liked about myself, positive attributes, and on days when I couldn’t think of any, I was directed to write down the negative ones, and write the opposite of those negative attritubes next to them as something to strive for. I worked on that positive list diligently and slowly that list grew, as did my confidence and self-worth. It was suggested I give back where I could, even just saying hello to someone who appeared to be having a challenging day, each act of kindness gave me more self-worth, and it became more and more important to me to give back as so many had and do give so freely to me. Honoring my worth and sharing and encouraging it in others was the foundation my worth was built on.
We all have value and worth, but we diminish it when we do not recognize it in ourselves and when we do not honor it and who we are. When we begin to see our true worth we become less tolerable to those who don’t recognize it in us. We start to make choices to spend time with those who see the worth in us and the value in who we are. We also start to seek out those who know their own worth and who inspire us. When we live as our true selves we shine and we attract others who’s light is attracted to ours. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do know your worth? Do you believe you have worth? If not, why not? Have you always believed that, or did something change? If something did change, what caused the shift? What can you do to find some self-worth today? What do you like about yourself? What do others say they like about you? Do you see those qualities within yourself? If not, why not? Look for ways to celebrate who you are today, you have value, show yourself how much you appreciate you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
State Of Slay™ 