well-being

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Get into the habit of being grateful.

New blog is up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay interrupt

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You are only one decision away from a totally different life.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Thing

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When we think about all the things we want, don’t forget to add loving yourself to that list.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

state-of-slay Beautiful Things

Never Let The Things You Want Make You Forget The Things You Have

I used to live in a constant state of want. Of always having to have the next great thing, or what I perceived as the next great thing I had to have. I used things to try to fill that void inside, that dark empty place that can’t be filled by outside things, but I didn’t know that, and I just kept making lists of things I thought I needed. The pursuit of those things and the moment of attaining them became my only sense of joy, but that joy was fleeting because I then would move on to what I “needed” next.

It took me a long time to realize what was really important in life. And it wasn’t until I got better, and started to love myself, that I started to place importance on the important things in my life, and it wasn’t things, it was people, relationships, peace of mind, finding a sense of calm and well-being. Nothing I could ever buy would ever fill those spaces, and I realized that I had a closet full of things that now felt empty and cluttered up my life. I also realized that in my pursuit of the next great thing I had lost sight of what I already had. There were things that I loved, or that reminded me of a special time in my life, or a person, and I had pushed them aside to accumulate more stuff.

It’s easy, in the world we live in, to stay in a perpetual state of want. To feel like if we don’t have the latest shoes, handbags, phone, jeans that we are less-than. But those things, however nice, will never fill you up the way loving yourself can, honoring who you are, and those around you, of nurturing friendships, relationships, of participating in life and giving back. Now, I’ve owned some pretty nice handbags in my day, and still do, but not one of them ever gave me back what the important things in life have.

During this weekend of Thanksgiving spend some time appreciating what you have. Take stock of who you are and the gifts you’ve been given, or those things you’ve worked hard to get or achieve, appreciate all of it, acknowledge it, and celebrate those things in your life, celebrate those people in your life who truly know, understand and love you. And let them celebrate you. Let love be what you pursue, whether love for yourself, others, or just showing love where you see it’s needed out in the world. That is truly the greatest gift of all, to give away, or show yourself love. That cannot be bought. And is truly priceless. No matter where you are in your life, you always have love to give, and, can choose to allow yourself to let it. Let love in and let it fill in those dark empty places inside of you, it’s the only way you truly can. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you get caught up in having to have the next and best thing? What was the last thing you had to have? Did you really need it? Do you still appreciate it? How long did you have it before pursuing the next big thing? How many things do you have that you’ve never used, or possibly still have the tags on them? How many things do you own that you never use? Do you feel you could be buying those things to fill a void you feel inside? Do you see how those things will never fill that void? How do you think you can fill that void in your own life? Have you done these things in the past? How did you feel after? Why don’t you do them more often? Find ways to do them SLAYER, find ways to give yourself love and to send love out to the world. Cultivate the healthy relationships in your life, put your time and energy into those instead of the pursuit of unnecessary things, and place your peace of mind and self-love at the top of your list of the next great thing to attain.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You know all those things you’ve ever wanted to do, you should go do them?

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Old Ways

If You Only Knew What The Other Side Looked Like

I know things can be tough. Dark. Hopeless. And full of pain. I know because I’ve been there. I lived there for many years. I lived there thinking there was no way out. Well, I only thought there was one way, to end my suffering. I’m glad that the way I thought of wasn’t the way, that the universe had plans to show me the right way, and guide me to the light.

I was speaking to someone today who had been where I was, who had attempted to take her own life, and now she stood before me, three years removed from that experience, happy, healthy and celebrating the day. We talked about the way it was, for both of us, and those who are still out there struggling, sitting in the dark, and we both said, if they only knew what the other side looked like.

I do know, I’m typing this from the other side right now. And let me tell you, it’s great over here. Now that’s not to say that everything is just rainbows and unicorns, there are some of both though, life still happens, but I have changed, and because of that I continue to be blessed with people and things in my life, and beautiful experiences I never would have had had I not fought my way out of the darkness.

When I was living in the darkness that is all I saw. There were beautiful things and beautiful people in my life, but I couldn’t see their beauty, not like I do today, my mind would put a cloak of darkness over everyone and everything so it could keep telling me the story it wanted to, that there was no way out, that no one really cared about me, and that the world would be better off without me in it. I believed those lies, I believed them for as long as I could stand it, and when it became too unbearable I was brought to me knees, and in that moment I reached out for help, to whomever or whatever may be listening, I had nothing to lose by asking, so asked for help and I surrendered my willpower and let go. What happened is nothing short of a miracle, but I couldn’t just rest on that miracle to get me better, I then had to roll up my sleeves and get to work. I was given a look at what was on the other side, through people who had gotten there, and with their direction, and others, I was able to get there myself, I wasn’t sure I could, but I fought like hell to get there, and I made it.

I now speak to you from that place, and I want you to know if you haven’t made it yet that we’re here waiting for you. It is possible. There are many of us here who were once like you, I was like you, and if I can do it so can you. First, you have to believe, believe it’s possible, find the little bit of light within you and hold onto as you step forward out of the dark, trust me, you won’t fall, and even if you stumble, we’ll be there to pick you up until you learn to walk on your own. Fight to find the light, fight to find your way to the other side, it’s there, and it’s even more beautiful than you can imagine. Come join us here, we’re waiting for you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel stuck in the dark? Why do you feel stuck? What can you do to find the light where you are? Are there others in your life who have the light? Stay close to them SLAYER. Ask them to walk with you, to help you out of the dark. Do you believe you deserve to stay in the dark? Why? Are these old stories from your past or a belief here in the present? Why do you believe it? What if it’s not true? What if you made it not true? What if you fought to find our way into the light? What do you think that looks like? How can you get there? You can. You can SLAYER. Find those people in your life, or seek out new people, who live in the light, ask them how they got there, let go of old ideas that keep you in the dark, and be open to new ideas that will bring in the light. Dig deep, find the humility and allow yourself to be teachable to new things and new ways of living life. It does get better, it can better, if you work for it. The good news is, you hold the key to your happiness, no one else, you have the power to set yourself free.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

An Ending Brings A New Beginning

We tend to hold onto things. We hold on to them, many times, far longer than we should. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain and heartache, when we should really just let go. We sometimes live in denial that something has ended, we try to live in the past, to conjure up memories or feelings and try to hold on to them when they can’t live in the present. We drag our heels and drag our hearts through the dirt as we try to live in a place that no longer exists. Let go. And not just let go, look at it as an opportunity for something new. A new beginning.

Now I realize that that may have just sent a shutter down your spine. But really, honestly, it’s a good thing. The act of letting go. And the realization that you should let go is a huge act of self-love. To not cause yourself pain by trying to keep yourself somewhere you no longer have no business being. By being responsible for your own pain for not letting go and moving on. Walking away when it’s time takes a long of love and a lot of courage, to know that, if you move on, that is actually a positive act, an act that demonstrates self-respect and one that shows you know your worth. And when it’s time to go and you take that action, it allows something else to come in, something, perhaps, better suited to who you are today, or what you’ve been looking for. When we stay where we are no longer meant to be, we block anything new from coming in because we are spending all of our energy trying to make it right in the wrong place. We make excuses, concessions to stay, and while we’re doing that we’re not seeing that perhaps what we’ve wished for, or wanted,all along, is right within our reach. Putting an end to something takes some faith, faith in yourself that you’re doing the right thing, and faith that whatever inner voice guides you, or outer voice, that there is a plan for you, that you are being guided to whom, or where, you are meant to be. And once you start to take that direction, all roads start to open up to help you get there. So many times we’re heard saying, “why is this so difficult?” Well, it may be difficult because we’re not mean to be there at all. So the question should be, “if this is so difficult, is there somewhere else I should be?” There may be a reason you’re finding things so difficult, the universe may be trying to tell you something.

An ending is really a chance for a new beginning. And perhaps a place that lets you be you, that lets you shine bright. We have to go through the things that aren’t right for us to find out what is. It’s all just part of our journey, our learning of who we are and what we want, so don’t look at it as a bad thing, look at it as information, and a way to lead you to where you should be, and where you are mean to be. Life is already full of obstacles, why put some extra ones in your own way by hanging on when you should go? Why not look at the end of something as a chance to try something new, you never know, that ending may have been set up just to lead you to the beginning of the life of your dreams…but you won’t know if you stay stuck right where you are. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to hang on to situations or relationships even when you know you should move on? If so, why do you do that? Write down a time when you held on when you should have let go. How did that make you feel? Write down a time when you did let go. How did that make you feel? Which felt better? Within your life now, are there people, places and things that you should be letting go of or ending? What are they? Why are you hanging on? What do you think will happen if you let go? Are these feelings or concerns valid, or just fears? What are you afraid of? Are these fears based in fact, or are they tied to old stories and old ideas from your past? Look at your life SLAYER, and look at those things that you should end, end them, and don’t be afraid, when we let go of what we no longer want or need, we let the universe know we’re ready for what we do want and need, and we’re ready to turn an ending into a new beginning.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you always do what you’ve done, you’ll always get what you always got.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stay

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Each of us is responsible to fix ourselves, don’t apply for a job you are not qualified for.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Cut Yourself

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Just as you are the author of your own story, you are also the illustrator, don’t limit yourself to the pictures you’ve been painting, paint the ones you’ve imagined or dreamed of, and make them a reality.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Color