Good morning SLAYER! You didn’t come this far to only come this far. Always keep fighting.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
well-being
Never Give Up
I’m spending the weekend with two beautiful souls and have gotten into some lengthy conversations about our stories, our journeys and what has brought us to where we are. Each of us has had a bumpy road, some of the bumps unique to each of us, but many we share in the commonality of having overcome them. As we’ve talked and shared it has brought up emotions, memories, parts of our lives, ourselves, we haven’t thought of for a while, or perhaps buried deep, but as we share from the places we are today, the other side of that turmoil, those challenges, the struggles, it is a reminder to never give up.
I almost did. I thought giving up was the only way to make the pain stop. To end my suffering. I let the darkness wash over me, consume me, and once I had let it take control, that was all I could see. I was a fighter, I was proud of what I had overcome in my life, I thought of myself as a warrior, but at some point my sword just got to heavy, and because I was not sharing my battles with anyone else, it ultimately was a fight I couldn’t fight alone, it was too powerful and the fight too long. I hated the idea of giving up and fought with every last bit of energy I had left before realizing that the one thing I was afraid to do, share my truth, was what was going to save me.
No one can do this alone. We’re not meant to. We each bring strength where others are weak, we each bring knowledge where others may lack it, together we are stronger. We hold each other up when one of us has fallen, we lift each other up when we don’t have the strength to do it ourselves, and we remind each other to, above all else, never give up, because we are right there fighting with them.
There are so many warriors out there, more than you know, our heads will tell us no one cares, that everyone is to busy, that we don’t matter, but that’s a lie, we are all out here waiting to take action, we just don’t know we’re needed many times unless we are asked to. Sure, we can see when a soldier is down, but we can’t pick them up if they’re not wanting to get up, or don’t tell us that can’t do it on their own. It is up to each and every one of us to ask, to reach out, to take the action necessary to trigger us into action, because we will come, we will come in droves.
Every life is worth fighting for. Every person, every soul is special. Each of us has special gifts we can share and contribute, and if you don’t know what yours are, we’ll tell you. We know. We can see them, and appreciate them, we appreciate you.
Having walked through the darkness, having fought my way out of the pit of despair, I can tell you, it can be done, it wasn’t easy, it took a lot of work, and I didn’t do it alone. When I reached out for help, when I spoke my truth, there was an abundance of help around me, and more support than I could have imagined. The trick is to ask. To walk through the fear of sharing my story, my truth. To not listen to the voices that told me not to.
Own who are you in this moment, and know that that is not who you have to be, you have the power to change your story, right here, right now. Never give up, always keep fighting, there is something great waiting on the other side of that battle. How do I know? I’m writing this from that side. Please, come and join me. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you suffer in silence? Why do you do that? Why don’t you reach out? Is your answer based in fact or the story you’ve been told or have crafted? Have you chosen the right people to surround yourself with? If not, find those people, look for people who are walking the path you want to be on. Find the people who are willing to help. They are out there. Sometimes it takes more than one try, don’t let that one no keep you in the dark. Keep looking, searching, they’re there, we’re here. Are you afraid of getting better? Do you think you deserve to get better? If not, why not? You do. You deserve to be your best you, to shine bright, to live in the light, don’t listen to people, or you if you’re telling yourself that. Fight. Find the light, even if it’s just a little spec on the ground, go to it, find it, hold on to it, that is enough to start. Share your truth, let the darkness out, and the light in, we’re all here to light the way.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Every life has purpose, and every story may help someone change theirs.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes the only way to protect your heart is to share it with others.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Use your strength of good.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You are enough. Let your true self shine and others will find you with the same light.
SLAY on!
Wanting To Be Forgotten
For a long time, I didn’t want to stand out.
I wanted to blend into the background. To disappear into the scenery. I believed that if I stayed unnoticed, no one would see what I was so certain was true about me—that I wasn’t worthy, wasn’t good enough, didn’t belong.
So I learned how to hide in plain sight.
That might sound strange given the profession I chose, but acting became the perfect disguise. I could hide behind characters. Behind scripts. Behind versions of myself that felt safer than the truth. And in that way, I wasn’t so different from anyone else. We all learn to play roles. To adapt. To become what we think is acceptable so questions aren’t asked and attention doesn’t linger too long.
When the risk of being singled out feels dangerous, we camouflage ourselves and hope we’re forgotten.
The Masks We Wear to Avoid Being Seen
Some of us don’t just blend in—we carefully construct a persona.
A version of ourselves that feels more likable. More acceptable. Less risky. We hope that if the persona is convincing enough, the real us will disappear completely.
For me, this created a quiet kind of torment.
I didn’t want to stand out, yet I desperately wanted to be liked. I wanted the version of myself I had created to be noticed and validated, while the real me stayed hidden.
It was an impossible contradiction.
A game I could never win.
The more masks I wore, the more disconnected I became. I had been playing different roles for so long that I no longer knew who I was underneath them all.
When Hiding Becomes Survival
As my mental illness took hold, the desire to disappear grew stronger.
I felt like life was moving forward without me. Like everyone else was advancing while I stayed stuck, running from a darkness that never stopped chasing me. When it caught up, it dragged me backward again.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
So I hid.
I hid the fear.
I hid the despair.
I hid the exhaustion of pretending I was okay.
My illness told me I was forgettable. That I didn’t matter. That if I were gone, no one would even notice.
And the most dangerous part?
I believed it.
Letting the Light In Changed Everything
Everything shifted the moment I told a trusted friend the truth.
For the first time, I stopped hiding. I let the masks fall away. I let the light in.
What was revealed wasn’t polished or put together. It was broken. Lost. Empty. Afraid.
And instead of being judged or rejected, I was met with compassion.
No one hurt me.
No one shamed me.
No one turned away.
I was met with encouragement, hope, and love.
Standing there in my vulnerability was terrifying—but for the first time in my life, I was fully myself. No roles. No performance. No pretending.
And it felt like relief.
Pretending Is Exhausting and It Keeps Us Sick
Pretending takes work.
It requires constant vigilance. Constant fear of being “found out.” Constant self-monitoring to make sure the mask doesn’t slip.
And the truth is, pretending doesn’t protect us—it slowly erodes us.
It keeps us disconnected.
It keeps us anxious.
It keeps us stuck in survival mode.
For me, pretending kept me sick. And I was getting sicker.
Healing didn’t come from becoming someone else. It came from finally allowing myself to be who I was—without apology.
Learning You Are Enough As You Are
It took time to build self-love. To learn self-respect. To reach a place where I no longer felt the need to hide.
But I made it there.
Today, I know this: whatever my best self looks like in any given moment is enough. If I fall or make a mistake, I can repair, learn, and try again—as long as I stay true to myself.
I no longer want to be forgotten.
I want to be of service.
I want to help.
I want to share my story.
Not for approval. Not for validation. But because it’s my truth—and there is nothing to be ashamed of in that.
I own my story.
I own my truth.
And when I walk in that honesty, I know I am exactly where I’m meant to be.
That is what I want to be remembered for.
You Were Never Meant to Disappear
If you’ve spent your life trying to stay hidden, hear this:
You don’t deserve to be forgotten.
You don’t need to erase yourself to be accepted.
You don’t need a mask to be worthy.
The world doesn’t need a more palatable version of you.
It needs you.
Your real voice.
Your real heart.
Your real presence.
That is who we remember.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: In what ways do you hide or minimize yourself in your daily life?
L: What part of you feels “unacceptable,” and where did that belief come from?
A: What would it look like to remove one mask and show up more honestly?
Y: If you stopped trying to be forgotten, who could you allow yourself to become?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever tried to disappear to protect yourself—and what helped you start showing up again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s hiding because they don’t feel worthy of being seen, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Swap Out I Can’t With Actually I Can
I used to tell myself I can’t a lot. What that really meant for me a lot of the time was that I was too afraid to try or I didn’t think I deserved to. And the more I said it to myself, the more I believed it. In fact, it got so ingrained in my brain that I no longer believed I could do it. But when you swap out I can’t with actually I can, you give yourself permission to try.
That switch for me came the morning I finally reached out for help. For years I told myself that I couldn’t tell anyone what was going on for fear of what the response would be, and for fear of what that admission meant to me as a person. I let those things stand in the way of my own well-being, of me getting better, and stopping my own self-punishment. But when I finally let out my big secret and told someone what my truth was, that embarrassment, that fear, that huge burden and power that secret had over me was gone. I opened the door to ‘actually I can’ the moment my truth became more important than my shame.
In the end, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We do the best we can with what we have. And if we aren’t able to do our best, even if we do have what it takes to do better, well then maybe that’s all the best we could muster in those moments. We now have a choice each day to make our best our best. To do better. To learn. Grow. And to start looking at what you can do rather than what you can’t.
When we shift our focus from cannot to can and start dwelling on those things, rather than the later, we start to look for the things we can change, and those things we can’t, don’t come so much into focus. And as we celebrate each new victory of those things we can do, our list of what we think we can’t gets shorter, or becomes less important. We put our energies into what we focus on, so why not focus on the positive, and seek out the positive if we feel we don’t have enough, or any, in our lives. Look for it. It’s there. It may be small when you start, but find it, but set your sights on it and it will grow.
We are the only ones who stand in our own way. Even when others try to put roadblocks in our way, they can’t stop us, they might slow us down or distract us, but we have the power to push through and overcome the obstacles, but many times the obstacle that is the hardest to overcome is ourselves. Try swapping out I can’t with actually I can in your life. See how that changes your perspective, and, how you start to get things done. Focus on what you can do and leave the rest. Soon you’ll notice those ‘I can’ts’ will move over to the ‘I cans’ and you’ll wonder why you ever doubted yourself. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tell yourself that you can’t do things? Do others tell you you can’t do things? What do they say? Why do they say it? Are they wrong? They are SLAYER. You can do whatever you put your mind to. The victory comes in just trying to do it. Write down 5 things you want for yourself. Write ‘actually I can’ next to those 5 things. Now write down what action you can take to get those things. Even if you’re not able to complete them write down, write down what you can do. Write down what you are willing to do. Write down what you are going to do. Much of what holds us back in life is a matter of perspective, so when we start looking for the positive we see more positive. Make a commitment to yourself to change your way of thinking and talking to yourself, instead of saying I can’t, say actually, I can. You can, and you will!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
