I used to tell myself I can’t a lot. What that really meant for me a lot of the time was that I was too afraid to try or I didn’t think I deserved to. And the more I said it to myself, the more I believed it. In fact, it got so ingrained in my brain that I no longer believed I could do it. But when you swap out I can’t with actually I can, you give yourself permission to try.
That switch for me came the morning I finally reached out for help. For years I told myself that I couldn’t tell anyone what was going on for fear of what the response would be, and for fear of what that admission meant to me as a person. I let those things stand in the way of my own well-being, of me getting better, and stopping my own self-punishment. But when I finally let out my big secret and told someone what my truth was, that embarrassment, that fear, that huge burden and power that secret had over me was gone. I opened the door to ‘actually I can’ the moment my truth became more important than my shame.
In the end, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We do the best we can with what we have. And if we aren’t able to do our best, even if we do have what it takes to do better, well then maybe that’s all the best we could muster in those moments. We now have a choice each day to make our best our best. To do better. To learn. Grow. And to start looking at what you can do rather than what you can’t.
When we shift our focus from cannot to can and start dwelling on those things, rather than the later, we start to look for the things we can change, and those things we can’t, don’t come so much into focus. And as we celebrate each new victory of those things we can do, our list of what we think we can’t gets shorter, or becomes less important. We put our energies into what we focus on, so why not focus on the positive, and seek out the positive if we feel we don’t have enough, or any, in our lives. Look for it. It’s there. It may be small when you start, but find it, but set your sights on it and it will grow.
We are the only ones who stand in our own way. Even when others try to put roadblocks in our way, they can’t stop us, they might slow us down or distract us, but we have the power to push through and overcome the obstacles, but many times the obstacle that is the hardest to overcome is ourselves. Try swapping out I can’t with actually I can in your life. See how that changes your perspective, and, how you start to get things done. Focus on what you can do and leave the rest. Soon you’ll notice those ‘I can’ts’ will move over to the ‘I cans’ and you’ll wonder why you ever doubted yourself. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tell yourself that you can’t do things? Do others tell you you can’t do things? What do they say? Why do they say it? Are they wrong? They are SLAYER. You can do whatever you put your mind to. The victory comes in just trying to do it. Write down 5 things you want for yourself. Write ‘actually I can’ next to those 5 things. Now write down what action you can take to get those things. Even if you’re not able to complete them write down, write down what you can do. Write down what you are willing to do. Write down what you are going to do. Much of what holds us back in life is a matter of perspective, so when we start looking for the positive we see more positive. Make a commitment to yourself to change your way of thinking and talking to yourself, instead of saying I can’t, say actually, I can. You can, and you will!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you