Good morning SLAYER! For many of us, just trying to do something we haven’t done before is the victory, and in trying we may receive the gift of belief. Belief in ourselves, and the belief that we can change and become the person we want to be. It all starts with the act of just doing it.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
We’ve all heard the saying, “fake it til you make it.” It’s something I have used in the past when I’m unsure about something but know I need to find a way to accept it, or a way to do it, but sometimes people have a problem with the word “fake,” and I understand that, we as SLAYERS are meant to live as our authentic selves, so how can we do that if we are faking something? Valid point. But instead of “faking” it, why not look at it as just doing it, just doing it even if you don’t believe it will help, just doing even if you don’t know if it will work, just, well, do it. Sometimes in the act of just doing it, something happens, an understanding, a revelation, and a belief that we can. In the doing, something happens.
When I first stepped on this path, a lot of things were suggested to me that didn’t sound like anything I wanted to do, or things that seemed like they wouldn’t help. I was told to do them anyway. To go through the motions and see how I felt. It felt fake to me. I thought, if I don’t believe, or want to do this, how will this help? But it did. The things that were suggested for me did help, they helped me to get out of my comfort zone and reach out, to share my truth, to connect with other people who were also on the same path, and to give back. Give back. At a time I thought I had nothing to offer, I did, and by just doing it I realized that no matter how low I may have felt, there was someone out there that may feel lower, and might look to me for inspiration, and in just doing, I not only helped someone else, but I helped myself, and I started to believe. In the act of just doing, taking the suggestions and just doing them, miracles happened. I started to feel better, I started to have self-esteem, I started to connect with people and didn’t feel so alone, I began to see some light in the darkness. In the doing, something happened.
It’s not a matter of believing to get started, it’s merely the act itself that can bring you to believe, and sometimes, that’s all we have. For me, my life depended on me just doing it, the voices in my head were still so loud, telling me it wouldn’t work, and I just yelled back louder, “I’m going to try!” Sometimes we’re so set in our old ways, or so afraid, or so determined to fail that we don’t believe things can get better, we shoot the suggestions down before we even start, but if we can get ourselves to just begin, to inch forward, to just do it, incredible things start to happen. And, although it may feel scary, or strange, or awkward, we’ve all felt those things before, and we’ve all survived them, so push through them and SLAY on, learn to find your comfortableness in the uncomfortableness, learn to find excitement there, learn to love that feeling of being unsure but trusting it’s right, learn to believe.
Every new chapter, every victory, every new life begins with taking action, there are always a million reasons to not do something, but there are a million and one to start, that one is you, and that is the most important one. You are worth it. You matter. You can and will make a difference. Just do it. You hold the key to your own freedom, but you have to turn the key in the lock you’ve created, turn it, walk through, and set yourself free.
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to have it all figured out. It’s about taking it one moment at a time, one step at a time, one action at a time, and as you do you’ll gain momentum, you’ll gain confidence, you’ll gain freedom. All you have to do, is do.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are there things in your life you know are good for you, or better for you, that you just don’t start? Why? What’s stopping you? What if you chose one and just did it? Just started, even if you didn’t know what the result would be? What do you think could go wrong? What do you think could go right? Do it SLAYER! Even if things don’t go as you would like them to, you still learn, and maybe within that lesson is the solution you’re looking for. But, you’ll never know unless you start. Just do it and SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! Stay focused on what’s important, not getting distracted by wants and other people’s opinions keeps us in a state of grace and on track to SLAYDOM!
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! Things only change when you do, start making different choices and get different results.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! Fears kill more dreams than failure ever will. Dream big. Aim high. Kill your fears. Make your dreams come true!
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! It’s your choice today, are you going to be a victor, or a victim?
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! When you believe, anything is possible, and when you believe in yourself, others believe in you. Your belief can change your world, and, quite possibly, change the world. Every accomplishment starts with the belief that you can.
New blog goes up Friday…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! When we stop looking for happiness in our past, we open ourselves up to finding happiness within ourselves and in those places that love, support and nourish us today, and what we may find is, those things we thought held the key to our happiness, we never really needed at all.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
I’ve been told I have quick reflexes, I’ve also been told I can have a barbed tongue, so the combination of those two things made for a lot of lashing out with hair triggered responses. I’ve mentioned this before, but it always bares repeating, life is not a game show, we don’t get extra points for speed, so why not take a moment, take a breath, and pause before you act.
Before stepping on this path I left a lot of shrapnel in my wake, a lot of bodies, and a lot of damage, I was like a ticking time bomb all the time, and if you dared cross me I would go off without notice. That was an awful way to live. I always felt on edge, and I hurt a lot of people, unsuspecting people who never saw it coming. At the time I would always justify my behavior, telling myself that they shouldn’t have crossed me in the first place, or should have been smarter, or faster, but the truth of the matter was, I was acting impulsively and defensively without giving any thought to how my reactions would affect those around me. When I made a commitment to love and honor myself, I also made a commitment to do the same to those around me, and I had to learn to pause before I reacted. That took some time, as I always had my finger on the trigger, to loosen my grip felt like the most difficult thing to do, but I found freedom there, freedom to take a moment to think about my next move, what the next right thing was, and I learned that a lot of times I didn’t ever have to react at all, or have an answer, I could take a step back and relax until I had an appropriate response or answer.
It can be easy to lash out at someone who has hurt you, embarrassed you, or is disrespecting you, but when you do you’re not only punishing them you’re also punishing yourself. You’re continuing the cycle of hate, anger, and disrespect, it may feel good in the moment, but those actions stick with us, attach themselves to us, and just add more negativity to an already negative situation. As SLAYERS we stand tall in who we are, we honor and love ourselves, and we don’t add problems to existing problems, we, if we can, are examples of a better way, a more peaceful way, a way that is about solving problems, not creating them. And, it’s not about being pushovers, it is about setting boundaries, and letting people know how we expect to be spoken to, but also adhering to that and speaking to people in the same way we wish to be spoken to. Hence the pause. The pause gives us a moment to collect ourselves, to think things through, and to respond with grace, dignity, and compassion if we can. I know you might be thinking I’m crazy right now, but try it, see how it changes things and how you stay calmer, less angry, and more in control. It doesn’t matter what the other person, or people, are doing, what matters is how you react, that’s where you get to choose, and sometimes that takes some thought, and sometimes it takes checking in with someone else you trust before responding. As I said, life is not a game show, if you don’t feel you can respond with a rational mind, in an appropriate way, or are just not sure how you feel, pause, and don’t answer until you feel you are ready. Sometimes I have to say to someone that I’ll need to get back to them, or we’ll have to revisit the issue another time because I know I am emotional, or confused, or just too upset to talk in an open and compassionate way, that’s OK, better to wait then have to apologize for an outburst or angry comment later, pause, wait, respond when ready.
No one is timing you on how quickly you return a call, email, text, or comment, make sure you are ready, and have all the facts straight before jumping into a conversation you might regret later. Give yourself the gift of time and honor the time you may need to answer, you’ll have far fewer regrets later.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often feel like you have to answer as quickly as possible, even when you may not feel ready? Why do you think you feel that way? Do you see how your defenses from your past can flare up and skew your perspective and your response? What can you do to slow yourself down? Take a breath SLAYER, ask yourself what’s really going on and what your next right step is, take your time, and respond when ready.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
I used to hang on to anything and everything like my life depended on it, what I didn’t realize is that my life depended on me dropping the rope and letting go. I don’t mean I was literally holding a rope, but I was tethered to people, places, and things trying to control each and every situation in my life, trying to manipulate it into what I wanted it to be, what I expected it to be, what I thought it should be. It wasn’t until stepping on this path that I learned to, “drop the rope.” It was difficult at first, to let go and walk away, trust that if I had done the footwork the outcome was now not up to me, that I had to trust that the result of that work would be what I needed it to be, not necessarily what I wanted it to be, but what I needed at that given time. Scary. But holding on tight only got me to a place of despair, of pain, of dishonesty, of, well, close to death. It took things getting that bad for me to finally listen and take the suggestion to drop the rope.
Dropping the rope can be scary, especially when we’ve always held on tight, when we’ve believed that hanging on was the safest choice, or the only choice, and that holding on could make things go our way. It can’t. If things are meant for us, they will come, they will happen, so holding on, worrying, causing ourselves anxiety and pain isn’t going to make things come to us any faster, or more often than they are meant to, it’s only stealing our serenity, happiness and health. Drop the rope.
For a lot of us it goes back to our childhoods, of feeling different, or alone, or like things were out of our control, things we didn’t like, things we wanted to be different, so we held onto that imaginary rope thinking if we did things perfectly, or a certain way, it would be OK. And, as we grew into adulthood, we continued to do that, we continued to hold on tightly to that rope, even when it didn’t seem to change things or make things sway in our favor, we still held on, fingers burning, palms bleeding, we held on tight. For me it took a breakdown to see that it wasn’t working, to see that nothing I did to try to control things could make things always fall in my favor, and no one always has things fall in their favor, it’s just not how life works, there are some who seem to be ‘luckier’ than others, but no one wins all the time, so what I was trying to do wasn’t even possible to attain.
So, how do you win? You win by doing what you can do to help things go in your favor, by putting your best foot forward, by doing the work, make your intentions known, share your expectations with others, and then, stay out of the results. Oh yeah SLAYER, I said, stay out of the results. Once you’ve done all you can, you step back, exhale, and let it happen. As scary as that may sound, there is so much freedom in doing that, so much power, you, are taking your power back, trusting that the work you’ve done is enough, and if it’s not, learning from that for next time, or accepting that it wasn’t meant for you, and focus on something else, or the next time you will try again. But when we hang on, way past when we should have, we lose a part of ourselves, we loose our self-respect, dignity, we lose our power, it’s the act of letting go that gives us strength and showing the world that we are strong enough to do it, it shows the world that we are confident in who we are, we are sure of our decisions, and work we’ve done to get to this point, and it gives us peace.
If something isn’t working for you, let go, as the saying goes, “you don’t have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump, you can get off at any time.” It’s time to do what’s right for you, make the commitment to let go when something doesn’t serve you, or, you’ve done all the work you can, let go, drop the rope, and show yourself some love.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you hang on too long? Why are you afraid to let go? What do you think will happen if you do? Write down an example of when you held on too long. How did that make you feel? What was the result? Make a commitment SLAYER, to drop the rope, to let go when it no longer serves you, to know when there is no more work to be done, and to walk away, and trust, that you will be taken care of, and you’ll be stronger for your courage of acceptance. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
