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Good morning SLAYERS! The only thing more exhausting than having mental illness is pretrending you don’t have it.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Strength And Courage

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you are still trying, you have not failed.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stumble (1)

AIR™ Share With Daphne

It was great to join Tricia Baker of Attitudes In Reverse® at Red Bank Regional High School to speak to the freshman on a recent break from filming in the New York area. I always look for opportunities to share my experience, strength and hope with those who may be struggling with mental health and suicide, and it was great to join Tricia and share my story.

Daphne made her first official AIR™ appearance and enjoyed meeting all the students and sharing therapy dog duties with Henry.

For more information on Attitudes In Reverse® and how you can help click this link: Attitudes In Reverse
Carrie Genzel with Daphne and Tricia Baker with Henry at Red Bank Regional High School
Actor/AIR Advisory Board Member Carrie Genzel Joins Tricia Baker at Red Bank Regional High School
When AIR Co-founder Tricia Baker recently presented Coming Up for AIR at Red Bank Regional High School, she brought a couple surprise treats for the students: actor/writer/ producer Carrie Genzel, who recently joined AIR’s Advisory Board, and her dog Daphne.
“I am grateful to Carrie for sharing her personal story of recovery. Young people need to understand that there is always hope for healing,” Tricia said.
“I had a great time joining in on Tricia’s programming at Red Bank Regional High School. It was great to share my story and message with the freshman class and bring Daphne in to meet and connect with the students afterwards. We both had a great afternoon,” Carrie said.
Carrie is most recognized for her work as “Skye Chandler” on All My Children, as well as two memorable Supernatural episodes, “Bugs” and “Just My Imagination.” Some of her credits also include Wizards of Waverly Place, Smallville, Watchmen and
Jennifer’s Body.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Life is happening, right now, outside your screen.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Phone

Close Your Device And Open Your Mind

We live in a time where we are obsessed with our devices. We use them to connect and stay in touch, we use them to stay on top of current events, we use them to document our lives, and we use them to numb ourselves and tune out from our day-to-day lives. Too often we replace people time with screen time. We miss moments, right in front of us, to have meaningful exchanges with others, to help someone in need or to share who we are with those around us. We use our devices many times without realizing we’re doing it, we habitually pick them up and start scrolling through stories, photos or media shutting off our brains and falling into a trance as we gaze at the images passing through our screens, many of us so addicted that we seem incapable of turning them off in meetings, church, movie theaters, while driving, well, for anything. But what suffers when don’t keep ourselves, and our devices, in check? In my experience, everything.

Don’t get me wrong. I use my devices to do many useful things, but I do make sure I am giving myself, and my brain, time away from them. One of my favorite times of the day is when I turn my phone off and hike or  exercise. It is one of my most productive times of the day and always has been. It’s time that my fingers stop doing the work and my mind kicks into gear. That’s when I’m at my most creative, and where many ideas, including State Of Slay™ have been born. Often times I figure things out that I had not been able to find a solution for earlier in the day, I get new ideas, I find inspiration and I think about what I am most grateful for. Very few of that same brain activity happens if I’m scrolling through my phone or computer. Sure, I can get ideas or find inspiration in what I see, but it’s that time away from my screens where my mind really gets fired up. And that goes for the relationships in my life as well. Because I’ve moved many times and traveled a lot for work, my devices easily keep me connected to those I love, but nothing compares to that one on one time with that those people, something I feel we’re loosing in society as a whole. Yes it’s faster to send a text or leave a voice mail, but it’s that human interaction that leads to deeper friendships and relationships, and, possibly collaborations or understandings that only come from time spent together. Those moments are what make us feel alive, make us feel wanted, loved, a part of and connected to those around us. We as a society seem to be feeling lonelier, maybe if we all made a little more of an effort to spend time with others instead of our devices that loneliness may dissipate, or go away all together.

It’s easy to get distracted by our devices, they’re designed to keep us engaged, but what if we kept ourselves engaged in life and those around us and instead of worrying about how many ‘likes’ we have, or what the latest gossip or news story is, why don’t we focus on what we like in life and choose to put our time and energy into those people, places and things, our hearts, and our minds, will thank us. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to focus more on your devices and screens than in life around you? What is the result of that? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? What can you do to take time away from your devices today and engage with life? Do you limit the amount of screen time you get every day? If yes, how has that improved your life? If not, how do think it will impact your life? Do you feel anxious when you don’t have your device with you or don’t have it on? Why do you think that is? What can you do SLAYER to focus each day on the relationships you have in your life, the ideas, inspirations or ideas you may have that never get the chance to be explored or fully realized because you’re attention keeps getting pulled back to your screen. Turn off your devices today and turn on your mind, you may be surprised what’s in there waiting for you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes we can help the most by just listening.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Talk Too Much

Slay Talk Live Video

Hey SLAYERS! Missed us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

SLAY on!

W.A.I.T. – Why Am I Talking?

I was with a group of people yesterday and we were talking about how the greatest gift, or way of being of service to someone, is to listen. Many times that’s all anyone wants, to be heard, and yet, too many times we chime in with our opinion or experience before they’ve had a chance to finish. One of the people in our group had said that he used to have that problem, of interrupting before someone was done, but he uses the acronym W.A.I.T! Now, before he speaks up he asks himself why he’s talking, if it’s important to interrupt what’s being said, is it adding to the conversation, is it useful, it’s helping the other person or people in the group, and is it the truth, or, is it his ego speaking for him to look superior to the group or in front of that person. I smiled. I used to be guilty of interrupting, especially when I knew I was wrong. I figured if I didn’t give the other person time to finish and finished it for them I would appear to have all the answers and already knew what they were going to say, or, that I knew better, so to save time they should just listen to me and stop talking. The truth is, I had a lot to learn by staying quiet and listen…and still do, we all do.

When we allow someone to finish what they’re saying, and may need to say, we are showing them respect, a respect we all deserve, and by pausing and listening to them we may also learn some new information, what we’re also saying by not saying anything is that we are still teachable and open to new ideas, something that is imperative for our continued growth, intellectually and spiritually. By pausing it also allows us to do a quick spot check, in terms of what we’re wanting to say, to ask ourselves why we feel we need to say it, and if it’s something that will move the conversation forward, or are we speaking up for different reasons that only serve us? Or, are we responding out of fear, anger, or jealously? Again, if we take a moment to pause and get in touch with our intentions for wanting to speak up, or respond, it gives us that moment to let those immediate emotions calm down so we can make a better decision about what and if we’re going to respond.

When I started on this path I had to basically throw out most of what I knew. I had to start from scratch. And I had to question my motives and instincts always at the start. My reactions to things were almost always fear based, so I was often quick to respond and jump in, many times regretting what I said and did later. I too, was told to W.A.I.T. and it was that pause that helped me not to hurt others by stepping all over their conversation and trying to sound smarter and better than they were. I also learned how important it was to be heard. I had a lot of questions, feelings and emotions at the start of this journey, many I had trouble making sense of, and if someone took the time to sit to listen to me, even when it didn’t make much sense, it meant so much to me, and most times, even just by saying it out loud, even without a response, I would figure out the issue, but also, many times, it allowed someone else who had been where I was to share their experience with me and offer some suggestions. Those exchanges helped me heal, and I learned a lot from them, not only by finding answers to my questions, but also it taught me how to be a good listener myself.

Everyone wants and deserves to be heard, make sure you’re not taking that moment away from someone who really needs it to feed our own ego. You might just learn something yourself by pausing and making yourself W.AI.T. and asking yourself, why am I talking? SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let others speak or are you always quick to chime in? Why do you think you do that? When you think about not doing that, what comes up? What do you feel? Where do you think that need comes from? What can you do to change it? When someone takes the time to listen to you, how does that make you feel? What do you think you can learn by pausing and not immediately jumping in a conversation? Try to pause SLAYER, and W.A.I.T., ask yourself, why am I talking? If it’s not adding something positive to the conversation, then maybe just listen and see what you can learn.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! No one comes into our lives by accident.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Smallest Thank You

Those We Miss

I found out last week that a woman I used to see at the Pilates studio I attend passed away. Her name was Julie. She was a New Yorker with a lot of spunk, never shy to chime in with her opinion. She wasn’t one to warm up to new people, but we hit it off right away with our glances during class, our love of dogs and sharing of political sketches from the last SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. We never exchanged phone numbers, but would always say goodbye to each other before leaving the studio with a smile and a “I’ll see you”…whatever day our next class was together. The last time I saw her we did just that. “See you Wednesday,” I said, and left looking forward to seeing her the next time we had class together. I never did see her again. I had noticed she hadn’t been coming to class, which was unusual, and assumed she had come down with a cold or flu, it is that season, but after a week and a half had gone it seemed strange that I hadn’t seen her. I was told that she passed away, that she had been found in her home unresponsive. It hit me hard. This woman, who I didn’t know outside of the studio, was someone, in 3 ½ months, I had made a connection with, someone who always made me smile, and someone who come over to me when I was new to the studio and made me feel welcome. Something she was not known for. It’s been over a week since I learned of her passing and it still hits me every time I walk into the studio that she won’t be there. I hadn’t realized how much of an impact she had made on me until she was gone.

It got me thinking. How many people do we have in our lives, people we may see where we work, at our favorite coffee shop, or maybe one of our neighbors who we don’t really know but make an impact in our day-to-day lives? How many beautiful souls do we exchange smiles with, pleasantries with or just look to see if they are there? And how many of them would we miss if they were no longer there? I find myself missing Julie deeply, to the point where often I find I have tears in my eyes when I open the door to the studio for a class we frequently both took. I think back and wonder if there was something more I could have done to let her know how much she meant to me, even more than just a few minutes of banter we would share before or after class, but I think she knew, and I think it meant just as much to her as it did me. I wonder how many people we impact and don’t even know it. I’ve certainly had people, people I didn’t even know, come up to me and thank me for just showing up, for consistently being somewhere and being reliable, for always walking in with a smile, and so I realize that just by being myself and by being conscious of those around me, I may leave a lasting impression on someone, and I try to remember that when even doing the most mundane of tasks, every moment is an opportunity to make someone feel good, or worthy, or appreciated.

The feeling of loss around Julie has taken me a bit by surprise, the heaviness of it, and I know if I was able to tell her today how I felt, she’d probably send back a quick, “ah, get over it,” with a smirk in her sharp New York way, but perhaps my feeling of loss around her was meant to make the impact it has because I need to be more vocal about how I feel about everyone in my life, not just those in my immediate circle, but anyone I consistently see or talk to and let them know what they mean to me, even if it’s the smallest exchange. As they say, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone, and that is so true, but what if we make an effort to look at what we do have, and make sure we appreciate those people today, and let them know we do, while we still can. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make an effort to let people know what they mean to you? Do you make an effort to reach out or be kind to the people you meet, or see on a regular basis? Of those people, is there someone who you would truly miss if they were no longer there? Let them know SLAYER, let them know what they mean to you, share that with them, you never know when it might be too late.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you