guide

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The light is within you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Shine Brightly

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.

SLAY on!

state of slay expect

Entitlement, Entitlement!

When I first started to walk this path, I had to give up a lot of things, make changes, leave my old way of life behind. The ways I used to deal with problems or cope with life were killing me, literally, and so I had to learn new ways, and even though I knew what I was doing was for my greater good, it’s hard to let go of a lifetime of doing things a certain way, ways that my brain told me protected me and helped me to function in my dysfunctional world. But I did it. I dove in to these changes to the best of my ability and as I got better at implementing them in my life, without me even realizing it, I started to feel entitled to having things go my way. I thought, well, I’ve made all these changes, done all this work, how dare life just go on as normal and throw me these curve balls, or difficult things to handle, when I should now have everything go my way. Doesn’t life know how much I’m working to make positive changes in my life!? Well, sure I was working hard, and I was making progress, but that doesn’t mean that life now was going to roll out the red carpet and I would be on easy street for the rest of my life. Life still did what life does, it ebbs and flows, and, we have no control over that.

What we do have control over is our attitude, and how we look at perceived negativities in our life. Life may not always go the way we’d like it to go, but how do we know what way it should go anyway? We only have the tiniest bit of information, the part that pertains to us, we don’t know how our part plays into the big scheme of things, and how all of those, perceived, negative things may just end up being the most positive thing in our lives because they challenged us, and taught us, and coached us into being who we are today, or who we were meant to be. Life doesn’t owe us anything. We owe ourselves our best effort everyday, to be the best of who we are, or at the very least, the best we have in that moment. It’s up to us to find those positive places in our life and to let our light shine, not only for ourselves, but so others can see it, and know there is light in the world, even at it’s darkest. We are not entitled to anything just because we’ve made positive changes in our life, but, when we make positive changes positive things come, and some negative things will come as well, but when we live in the light those negative things may not seem to big as they once did, or, you may realize that they were never really negative at all, they were just shifting your path or direction slightly to align you to where you were supposed to be. Where we find grace in our recovery or positive direction is when we can ride those waves, accept what is, learn where we can, and make the best or better choices for ourselves, without making more waves.

During the years of living this way, I do expect the good, because I give and live in the good, but I by no means feel entitled to it. I know what comes my way is there to guide me and teach me so I can continue to learn on this path, so that I can continue to meet others, like me, on this path and learn from them, and so I may share what I’ve learned on this path with those who may have just started their journey. Life is going to do what it’s going to do, and I’m going to do what I’ve been taught, to except what comes my way as what is meant to, then, it’s up to me what I do with that. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like life owes you something? If yes, why? Do you see that that kind of thinking only breeds resentments? What positive changes have you made in your life lately and what have been the effects of that? How does this change how you deal with negative things in our life? How has the way you deal with these negative things changed? How as that changed you? We are not guaranteed anything in life, but we can make the most of what we have and what we’ve been given. We can choose to learn from those things we may not have wanted for ourselves, and choose to see the lesson in them, or the opportunity to do better than we have in the past. Maybe even use them to help someone else, you never know what you are capable of as long as you live in humility and accept whatever life throws your way instead of expecting life to cater to your wishes and needs.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Forgiving

The Living Dead – Numbing Parts Of Yourself And Letting Them Die Off

For most of my life I lived my life like the living dead. I was living a life, well, going through the motions, but was numbing our stuffing down those parts of me that were too painful or I didn’t want to face. I had done that for so long that it became normal to shut down my feelings and thoughts until some of them started to die off. Some of those parts I didn’t even notice were gone and others I was glad to see go because I thought it made my life easier not to feel them. I thought those parts dying off made my life easier. But what was happening is I was slowly becoming dead inside and the only thing I was making easier was for the negative voices in my head to take over and control my life.

My whole life I had tried to fill a void inside of me with outside things, something I was never able to do, and couldn’t do, but by numbing parts of myself or letting parts of me die off I made that void even bigger. My brain was telling me that this was a good thing, but what it was really doing was letting my disease progress and start to take over from those parts of me that knew better or would resist. I look back at myself at that time and I looked dead. There was no life in my eyes, and there have been times I haven’t even recognized myself in photographs. If you had asked me during that time how I was I would have said great, but I would have been lying. I would even lie to myself, but underneath my own bullshit I knew it wasn’t true, that I was dying, and I was letting it happen. It got to a point where I was almost completely dead inside, and the rest of those parts of me that hadn’t died, were in grave danger of forever being numb, but I somehow found one tiny bit of light left, one little bit of hope that I hadn’t killed off, and that little bit was enough to give me the courage to reach out for help before I had let go all together and succumbed to death itself.

Today, after many years of work and learning to love myself, I have also learned to feel my feelings without being afraid of them. No matter what life throws at me I won’t allow myself to numb what comes up, and I certainly won’t allow any piece of me to die off because I’m afraid of it. That does make some days difficult, it can be uncomfortable to sit in my feelings and then have to find a way to work through them, and I do it. I do it because I’m worth it. I’m worth the work, and I know that today. And so are you.

We are not meant to go through life numb, or let parts of us die off just so we can get by without feeling things we don’t want to feel. Those feelings are there to tell us things, to teach us things, and to guide us to where we are meant to be. Those feelings are there for a reason, so to take them away we are walking through life blind, and wandering aimlessly to whatever destination seems the easiest, and not where we are necessarily meant to be to help us grow and learn. If you find something too painful use that as in indicator to change, to seek out help, to understand why these memories or feelings have come up, there is always a reason for everything, so trust that you are experiencing exactly what you are supposed to and instead of grabbing for the nearest thing to numb those feelings, ask yourself what you can do to learn from what it is coming up, no matter how daunting that may seem, there is always a way to find your way on the other side of them, and find a way to let your inner light shine and burn bright. I was able to find my light in the darkness, and I know you can too. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: When you feel uncomfortable with your feelings do you immediately try to numb them or make them go away? Why? How do you do that? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? How long have you done that? Do you ever let yourself feel your feelings? What scares you about your feelings? Where you ever told you weren’t allowed to have feelings? Who told you that? Why? You are allowed SLAYER, we’re all entitled to feel what we feel, and we can use what we feel to get stronger and to let those feelings guide us to where we are meant to be next, and typically the feelings we are resisting the most are the ones that are going to teach us the most, so dive in and feel what you feel.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Look At Rejection As Redirection

It’s easy to feel defeated by what we feel is rejection. We get our hopes up, have expectations, and may have worked hard to reach a specific goal, only to have the door slammed in the face of our dreams. I used to let those rejections get me down, I would let that negative bullshit committee get loud in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, or that I didn’t deserve good things. It fed into the narrative of me being a loser, so as much as I wanted to succeed, that part of me that was sick, relished in the defeat so it could keep me down, or, push me down even more.

Looking back, there were many times when those perceived rejections were actually a blessing. Either I wasn’t ready for what I was aiming for, I was saved from a bad situation, or, I wasn’t meant to go down that path because something else was waiting for me. As I’ve said before, we know only a little, we only know our part, and not what the big picture is, so what may seem like the right path to us is really only based on the little information we have, our perception of that information, and what our will is propelling us to do. All of that, can steer us in the wrong direction. I’m a big believer that there is a plan for all of us, that we’re all here to do certain things, learn certain things, and take certain action to fulfill the lessons and life we are meant to. We don’t know what that is, but I do believe it is what our “gut” guides us to, those moments of intuition or feelings that send us off into a specific directions. But, because there are so many other factors that can throw us off course, distract us, or perhaps our ego may start to run the show, what should be a straight line often gets broken up into some curvy twists and turns. I know in my life, when I’ve gotten way off track, there has always been something to knock me back on the right path again, so when something doesn’t go my way, I take notice. Sure, it can be disappointing, and trust me, I’ve had plenty of disappointments in my life, but I do trust that those opportunities weren’t meant for me, or, weren’t meant for me at that time. Timing is everything, and much of what we struggle with is trying to make something happen in our own time, instead of waiting for something to organically unfold when it is meant to. And that doesn’t mean sitting around just waiting for things to happen, we have to take action, with the all the information we have in front of us, but it’s also about being open to what else is out there, looking for the signs, the opportunities, the roads we haven’t traveled on, because we may be meant to be on those roads rather than the one we’ve stubbornly stayed on.

Nothing happens by accident, even accidents, everything serves a purpose, and it may take a lifetime to figure that out in some cases, but when we look at a so-called rejection as just information, and look where that rejection may lead us, it may just be nudging us in the direction we’re meant to be heading. The end may be the same as what we had been working towards, but maybe we’re meant to take a different route, maybe there is something to learn there that we need on our journey, something we wouldn’t learn otherwise. So when things don’t go your way don’t retreat, look for other avenues, other roads to travel on, try a new approach, or perhaps with someone new, see what you can learn from the rejection and look to see where else that can lead you. You never know, that big disappointment may just lead you to your biggest accomplishment yet, but at the very least, it can lead you to an open mind and on open heart, and a life that is meant to be, not one you are chasing because you think it’s supposed to look a certain way. Trust the signs, learn from the struggles, and go where the path leads you. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: When something doesn’t go your way do you let that defeat you? Why? Can you think of a time something didn’t go your way and as a result you discovered something new? What was that? Can you think of a time when you didn’t get what you wanted and found out later it would have been a bad situation? When you find yourself rejected, how can you turn that around into something positive for yourself? Look back at your life SLAYER, at all the times you’ve been redirected in your life, trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now, even if that’s a tough place, know that there is something to be learned there, and once you do, you will move on. Take each defeat as new information, and learn to use that information to find your path, the signs are all around you, you just have to be open to things looking differently than what you might have imagined, but your path is there, if your open to finding it.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Spirituality doesn’t come from religion, it comes from your soul. Let your soul guide you, and connect with what speaks to you on your journey.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Spiritual Experience

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is no such thing as coincidence, the universe is always speaking to us.

New blog goes up Sunday…until then, SLAY on!

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