Comfort Zone

Slay Say

We all have goals that call us forward—
dreams, changes, next chapters that ask more of us
than staying where we feel safe.

But it’s impossible to move into what’s next
while giving your energy to what’s already behind you.
You can’t grow while tending to the comfort of what’s familiar.
You can’t step into opportunity while replaying what held you back.

Progress doesn’t happen in the places where you stay small.
It happens in the stretch—
in the risks you take,
in the habits you break,
in the willingness to do the thing you’ve avoided because it feels big.

Your goals aren’t waiting for you to perfect your past.
They’re waiting for you to stop living in it.

This is your reminder:
You move forward the moment you choose growth over comfort.

Slay on!

Your Best Yes Might Be the One That Scares You

It’s easy to say yes when you feel prepared, qualified, and ready.
But what about the yes that feels uncertain? The one that makes you pause and think, “Can I even do this?”

I’ve learned over the years that these are often the most important yeses—the ones that lead you somewhere you never expected, but exactly where you’re supposed to be.

For me, some of the best things in my life have happened because I said yes even when I wasn’t sure. Even when I doubted myself. Even when it was something I’d never done before.

Those yeses have taught me that courage often comes before confidence.

Saying Yes Before You Feel Ready (I Never Felt Ready Either)

If I had waited until I felt fully ready, I would have missed out on so many opportunities that shaped me.

There have been roles I’ve taken, projects I’ve joined, and events I’ve spoken at where my first instinct was, “Why me? I’ve never done this before.”
But then I’d hear this little voice reminding me:
“Just say yes. You’ll figure it out.”

And you know what? I always did. Maybe not perfectly. But growth never is.

Every time I said yes, I walked away with more than I expected—new skills, new friends, new perspectives.
You become ready by doing. Not by waiting.

The Unexpected Gifts of Taking a Chance

Some of my favorite experiences started with a hesitant yes.

  • Saying yes to a random opportunity led me to discover a new creative passion.
  • Saying yes to a conversation with someone I barely knew turned into a meaningful friendship.
  • Saying yes to a project that felt way out of my league ended up teaching me things I didn’t even know I was capable of.

If I had stayed in my comfort zone, I would have missed out on all of it.

What I’ve learned is that sometimes, that scary yes is simply the universe nudging you toward something bigger.

When Yes Isn’t About the Destination

One thing I’ve come to believe is this:
Not every yes is meant to be the grand finale.
Sometimes, it’s just meant to get you moving.

There have been plenty of times when saying yes didn’t lead me exactly where I thought it would.
But it got me out the door. It opened a new door. It connected me to people and places I wouldn’t have found otherwise.

Your yes doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be intentional.
You’re not committing to a lifetime. You’re committing to the next step.

Brave Yes vs. Reckless Yes: Here’s How I Tell the Difference

Let me be real—I’ve said yes to things for the wrong reasons too.
Guilt. People-pleasing. Fear of missing out.

Those yeses? They don’t feel good. They drain you.

But the brave yes?
That’s the one that feels a little scary but also exciting. The one that stretches you in the right way. The one your gut says “this could be good for me” even if your brain is panicking a little.

Now, I pause and ask myself:

  • Am I saying yes because I’m afraid of disappointing someone?
  • Or am I saying yes because it aligns with who I’m becoming?

That pause makes all the difference.

Growth Lives on the Other Side of Yes

Every time I’ve stepped into something new, even when it terrified me, I’ve grown.
Not just in skills or experiences, but in how I see myself.

By saying yes, I’ve learned to trust myself more.
To know that I can figure things out.
That even if I stumble, I’ll get back up stronger.

That’s what your best yes does—it helps you grow into the next version of you.

What’s Your Best Yes? Final Thoughts

Here’s what I want you to know:
You don’t have to feel fully ready to say yes.
You don’t have to know exactly how it will turn out.

Sometimes, your best yes is the one that simply gets you moving.
The one that introduces you to a new part of yourself.
The one that reminds you—you’re more capable than you think.

So, what’s the yes you’ve been hesitating on?
It might just be the beginning of something amazing.

Your Turn: Reflect & Take Action

Now it’s your turn. Take a moment and think about these questions:

  1. What opportunity have you been hesitating to say yes to because it feels outside your comfort zone?
    What’s really holding you back?
  2. Think of a time when you said yes even though you were unsure.
    What did you gain from that experience?
  3. What’s one small, brave yes you can give yourself this week?
    A chance to grow, connect, or simply show up differently.
  4. How do you personally tell the difference between a reckless yes and a brave yes?
    What does your body or intuition tell you?
  5. Who or what could benefit from you saying yes to yourself right now?
    Remember, your courage is contagious.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s the yes you’re ready to say, even if it scares you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s standing on the edge of a yes, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Live Between Always and Never

We often live life on autopilot.
We repeat the same routines, stick to the same beliefs, and follow the same patterns—not because they’re working, but because they’re familiar.

We tell ourselves this is just how we are.
We find comfort in the certainty of always and never.
But here’s the thing—certainty doesn’t always lead to progress.

I’ve written before about living in the gray, the in-between.
It’s in that space where change actually happens.
Where new ideas take root.
Where we make space for growth and possibility.

The middle is where transformation begins.

The Trap of Always and Never

Before I walked the path I’m on now, I was all about the extremes.
Always. Never.
I thought I knew what was best for me and I wasn’t interested in hearing otherwise.

I wasn’t happy—but I also wasn’t willing to change.

I stayed stuck. I stayed sick.
And I kept doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.

That wasn’t just frustrating—it was exhausting.
But it was also a product of my mindset.
I was clinging to always and never like a shield, and it was keeping me from moving forward.

The Power of Maybe

Everything began to shift when I allowed just a little room for maybe.

Maybe there’s another way.
Maybe I don’t know everything.
Maybe if I try something different, I’ll get a different result.

Recovery taught me that change only comes when you’re open to it.
I had to let go of the way I had always done things and be willing to try something new.

Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Not everything I tried worked.
But trying was the point.
There were lessons in the failure—and confidence in the attempt.

Even now, I catch myself falling into that never mindset.
But I’ve learned to challenge it.
Because the best things in my life today?
They came from saying yes to something new.
From living in the middle.
From staying open.

Let Go of What’s Holding You Back

Stubbornness might feel like safety, but it often blocks growth.
It keeps us locked in patterns that no longer serve us.
It makes life smaller.

Living between always and never invites in the unknown—and yes, that can be scary.
But it also makes space for beauty, surprise, connection, and healing.

There’s a whole world you haven’t tried yet.
New waters to wade into.
New experiences that could change everything.

You’ll never know how warm the water is unless you take the first step in.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Open to the Middle?

  1. Do you tend to stick to the way you’ve always done things?
    What impact has that had on your life?
  2. Have you ever said no to something new—and later regretted it?
    What was the opportunity, and what did you learn?
  3. What parts of your life would you like to see change?
    Are you willing to try something different to make that happen?
  4. What are some small ways you could move away from always and never?
    How could you make room for maybe or I’ll try?
  5. What’s one thing you can say yes to today that pushes you out of your comfort zone?
    What could open up if you did?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment in your life when saying “maybe” instead of “never” led to something unexpected—or even life-changing?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in patterns that aren’t serving them, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Choosing Between Character And Comfort

We’ve all heard it before: nothing grows in the comfort zone. And yet, how often do we stay there—stuck, cozy, and convinced that if we just wait long enough, life might change for us? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Growth, healing, and real transformation require us to choose character over comfort. Every single time.

When Comfort Becomes a Cage

Before I began this journey, I was driven in my career but paralyzed in my personal, mental, and spiritual life. I stuck with what I knew—old patterns, destructive habits, relationships that didn’t serve me—because it felt familiar. Comfortable, even.

But comfort can be deceiving. What I thought was a safe place was actually a cage I had built with my own hands. And the longer I stayed there, the darker it became. Things didn’t magically get better—they got worse. I wasn’t growing, I was withering. And still, I stayed, because discomfort felt scarier than decline.

Until it didn’t. Until staying stuck became scarier than change. That’s when I reached out from the darkness. That’s when I chose the light.

The Shift Toward Character

When I finally said yes to healing, I had to make peace with being uncomfortable. Growth didn’t feel good at first. It felt hard. But I kept showing up. I dug my heels in and used that stubbornness—the same stubbornness that once held me back—to push me forward.

Little by little, I shifted my focus from staying comfortable to building character. And you know what happened? That new discomfort became my new normal. And over time, it started to feel like home.

I began to recognize something important: when I feel uncomfortable now, it usually means I’m growing. Stretching. Evolving. That discomfort is a signal I’m doing something right, not wrong.

And when life feels too comfortable again? That’s when I check in with myself. Have I stopped stretching? Settled for less? Avoided the next step out of fear? If so, it’s time to move.

Growth Doesn’t Come From Playing Small

It’s easy to stay where we are—especially when we know it, even if it doesn’t serve us. But we are not meant to play small. We are meant to rise, expand, and become the fullest version of ourselves.

The discomfort you feel? That might be the edge of your breakthrough.

Choose character. Choose growth. Choose to step forward, even when it’s scary. Your potential is waiting for you outside the lines you’ve drawn.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Step Into the Uncomfortable

  • Are you stuck in your comfort zone? What signs are showing up for you?
  • How might staying comfortable be holding you back from the life you want?
  • What would it look like to choose growth, even if it feels hard?
  • What past experience taught you that discomfort leads to breakthrough?
  • What small, brave step can you take today to choose character over comfort?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re choosing growth over comfort right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a comfort zone, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge toward the edge of possibility.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The most dangerous thinking is, I’ve always done it this way.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Become Remain

If You’re Not Changing You’re Choosing

I would not have liked that statement at all when I was living in the dark. I always pegged myself as a victim of life and circumstances, I never took responsibility for my own decisions or part in where I found myself. I did want change, but I never took action to make it happen, or if I did, I would start, experience a set back and then give up saying there was no hope. I lived life like life owed me, but it was me, who owed it to myself to make the changes to have the life I wanted to live. Living in the headspace I was, I didn’t even know if what I wanted was realistic, I just knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was, and that time was running out.

In the end, I did make a choice, I had to make a choice out of self-preservation, but a choice was made to get well. I realized as I traveled the path to my recovery that I had made the same choices for years and years, expecting different results each time, instead of changing my behavior, and by doing so I had made the choice to stay sick, to not get help, to keep living in the dark even though it kept getting darker. My head told me I had no choice, this was it, and it was only going to get worse instead of better, but that was a lie. It took me almost making a choice I could not take back to realize I had other choices. Choices that could bring to the places I wanted to go, choices that were healthy and would bring about the changes I thought were out of reach.

We all have much more power than we may realize on any given day. Even though we can’t control people, places and things, we can control, or be in charge, of our reactions to them. We should be constantly changing and growing, that’s what this journey is about, to learn, discover, to challenge ourselves, so if we’re not changing we’re choosing to stay where we are, and even, right now, if that is a place you feel comfortable, you’re still not meant to stay there forever. I always say, if I’m too comfortable somewhere I’m probably meant to move on, or look for how I can challenge myself to fine-tune or do better in an area that I may just be getting by. It’s not necessarily about leaving everything, and everyone behind, but finding those areas to improve upon. I, now, get a little rush of excitement when I challenge myself, and I feel that uncomfortableness underfoot because I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone, it’s then that I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

We are not victims of life, if we are not changing, adapting, growing, we are choosing to stay where we are, just as we are. The good news is, if we don’t like something, we can change it, and we may not get to the exact place we imagine, or would like, but just the act of making the change will bring us to where we are supposed to be, or where we are supposed to be next. Take the action or choose to stay stuck, it’s your choice. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find that you get too comfortable where you are and don’t make changes to grow, learn or move on? What keeps you where you are? Are you where you’d like to be? If not, how can you take action to start moving in the right direction? Do you feel like you have no choice? You do SLAYER, if even it’s just making small steps to start, that movement and action will lead you to where you are supposed to be headed, just take the next indicated right action, or the one you think is right. Allow yourself to make mistakes, those are part of the process, and trust the path you are on. Don’t let life tell you you don’t have choices, you do, you always do, they may not always be exactly what you want, but they may get you there. Do what’s right for you and keep looking for your chances to change.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You know all those things you’ve ever wanted to do, you should go do them?

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Old Ways

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you stop doing nothing and just start to do something, it starts to change everything.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Steps

Inactivity: The Fear Of Failure

There are a few reasons why we don’t take action, but many of them are rooted in the fear of failure. We assume we’ll fail so we don’t start. We delay. We make excuses why it won’t work, instead of just trying. As I’ve said before, sometimes the win is just in the trying itself. But we don’t even try, we get stuck where we are, even when we’re not happy there. What happened to us? When did we let fear win? As children we are fearless, most of us, we climb, we jump, we try new things, with new people, and then something happens, and we let fear take over.

For me it was outside voices telling me I was different, not normal, that I couldn’t do something, coupled with my inner-voice echoing the same, that inner-voice got so loud it was the only voice I could hear. And many times I stood paralyzed by fear. There are moments when I burst through, got out of my comfort zone, let the light in me shine, but for the most part I dulled that shine and stayed hidden in plain sight.

When we don’t start something, we can’t finish, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that we’re not good enough to have what we want, but we haven’t worked for it. We always seem to leave that part out, and solely focus on the not getting what we want part. And the more we don’t take the responsibility for not taking action the more we fall down the rabbit hole of believing we’re not good enough to get it. There are those of us too, who just fling ourselves into things without doing the footwork or looking into it first, we’re just flying by the seat of our pants hoping that it’ll all work out, instead of arming ourselves with the work and research needed to fully tackle something head-on, giving us the best chance at a positive result. When we fall, we again tell ourselves that we aren’t worthy of it, but we didn’t set ourselves up to necessarily succeed. It’s another way, a sneakier way, of self-sabotage, because we can say we tried, but we didn’t do all the work leading up to it.

So, why is failure so bad? It’s not really. Failure, like I’ve said before, is just information. And, if you’re like me, you learn the most from failure, especially when it stings, I do my best learning from that place because I don’t want to feel that again, so I’m likely not going to try to do the same thing the same way again. At least not anymore. The old me would have, in fact did, expecting different results, when the only result was always me losing and telling myself I deserved it. But today, I learn from those failures, which if you think about it, don’t really make them failures if you take away some valuable information away from it. As I said, failure is really just information. The start of a blueprint of how to do it different next time. And that’s also the key. To keep trying. Try to do it a different way, a new way, a way you haven’t tried before. And don’t be afraid to fail. Everyone has failed, everyone. It doesn’t mark you as a bad person. In fact it’s within those failures that we often connect with other people, who have also failed, and we learn that we are not alone, but we don’t get that lesson if we don’t start in the first place.

Take away the power fear has in your life that you might fail. The only thing failure does is show is that the way we tried isn’t the right way, so, go look for the right way, or the right path, or the place that you are meant to be. Sometimes the failure to get what we want is actually saving us from it, because it’s not what’s best for us, or where we’re meant to be. Trust those signs.

Follow your heart, go after what moves you, excites you, inspires you, and if you fail, remind yourself that it’s just information, look to see if there is something you missed, something you could have done differently, if not, maybe that failure is pointing you in a new or different direction, something you hadn’t even thought of. But most importantly, you have to start in the first place. Always take action when and where you can, when you take action you begin to defeat fear, or even, walk over it as you sprint to the finish line. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let fear stop you from trying new things? What are you afraid of? Are these fears real in your present life, or stories from your past? Name 3 times you let fear stop you from going after something, or doing something you love. Name 3 times you walked through your fear. Beside each example, write how you felt. Now, wouldn’t you rather feel like you did when you walked through your fear? Remember those feelings next time fear pops up and tries to stop you from doing something new, or going after what you want, think of those feelings and let them quash your fear as you sail ahead to your goal.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! For every positive choice you make in your life, something else also changes for the better, change creates more change, and creates a chain reaction.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Different Choice