acknowledge

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t ignore the truth for temporary happiness. 

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The greatest waste of time is the time not getting started. 

SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You can’t build on top of success you don’t acknowledge.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Be Proud Every Step

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Emotions are reporters for the soul.

New blog is up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Visitors

Thank You Is An Action Word

Saying thank you can mean a lot, to acknowledge what someone has done and to let them know they’ve made a difference, but saying thank you just isn’t enough, just as saying sorry isn’t enough without changed behavior, thank you isn’t where your gratitude should end.

When I started on my journey of recovery I was freely offered a lot of help. I realized that I needed that help, as going it alone had gotten me to a personal bottom and I realized that asking for help was not only not a sign of weakness, but was required to find a solution to the way I had been living my life. I was never going to succeed on my own, and as much as that was a bruise to my ego, I had to learn to humbly accept the help and guidance from others. When I did that my road became less treacherous and became filled with others like myself working toward the same goal. I learned to walk with them, to listen to them and to lean on them when the road got tough, and as I began to feel better I started to think about how I could ever repay so many who gave me their time when I needed it. I was told to give back, to share what I had learned with others who may need to hear it as they walked their journey, and that was how I repay them and say thank you.

I think about that in my life daily, no matter what the situation or who it is, what action can I take to say thank you because the words aren’t enough. To truly say thank you you should demonstrate it in your life, every day, that is the truest way to say thank you, to show it in your actions. When we think of thank you as an action word it changes our thinking, it causes us to pause and think of how we can say thank you by what we do, not just saying the words, and how showing kindness to others is a way we can say thank you to someone else who helped us past just seeing ourselves and our own problems and sharing ourselves with someone else. Thank you is a way of life, not just something we feel in a moment and then move on, when we live in a place of thank you we carry gratitude in our heart and we look for ways to share that in hopes of allowing someone else to find peace, or support or acknowledgment, and when we do that we are also sharing that thank you, or gratitude, with ourselves, that we are in a place today where we are able to find some compassion for others and share a positive message or moment.

Next time, before you simply say thank you, think about what what action you can take to show how thankful you are, to not simply say thank you in a moment, but let that thanks continue from that moment on. How can you take action and say thank you today? SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often say thank you when you want to acknowledge something someone has done for you? How do you do that? Do you just say the words or do you find a way to show how you thankful you are? Are there people in your life who have, or continue to support you, throughout, or for a portion of your life? How do you say thank you to them? Do you have a difficult time saying thank you, or finding a way to say it that measures up to how you feel? Many times we can say thank you just by living life as our best selves and giving back where we can. We can show our gratitude by sharing it with others and by living our life in a positive, healthy and thankful way, that may be the best way, and many times is, to say thank you to someone who has helped you during a tough part of your journey, or through a difficult time. Like many things in life, thank you, comes full circle, it doesn’t just stop with the person or people who directly helped you, if you take the action, it can be spread out to anyone in your life and continue to work through you as you continue from here.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t be afraid of asking the questions, be afraid of not asking them.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Being Brave Enough

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Celebrate It All

Celebrate Life, Especially In Death

It was one year ago today that my Uncle lost his battle with cancer, and two days ago I learned of the sudden passing of a dear friend. In both cases, these men exuded light and love. They were always helping those in need, or those they felt could use some of their light. They laughed, they made others laugh, and they shared themselves, they’re true selves, with those around them. It’s always sad to say goodbye, and, so often, it takes time to even accept that such a bright soul is no longer here, although they are never far. Kevin, who passed a few days ago, has been ever present in my last few days, I’ve seen signs of him in many moments and when I do it always makes me smile and warms my heart. And, it’s a reminder that we never truly lose those we love, they stay with us, popping in and out when we may need a reminder they’re there, or, to keep us smiling. It also reminds me that even in death, we need to celebrate life. Both men did so much for others, there is much to celebrate, and in knowing both men, that is what they would have wanted, not for us to be sad and for our hearts to ache, but to laugh and remember all the good things we shared, the funny moments, the warm thoughts and times of understanding. It is in times like these that things always seem to come into the right perspective.

But, why do we often wait for a big event, or loss, to celebrate life? We should be celebrating every day, with ourselves, and those we love. In fact, we should be actively looking for each moment to celebrate who we are, who we love and how far we’ve come. Now, I don’t mean we should looking to celebrate so much that we stop doing what we need to do, but even just recognizing something, acknowledging something or honoring something, or someone, is enough to keep the celebration going. We can be so hard on ourselves and can get in a cycle of seeking out those things we’ve done wrong, or could have done better, and many times it can be difficult to look for what we’ve done right, or better, and yes, it is great to always strive to do better, but it’s just as important to acknowledge how well we’ve done, or are doing. And, remembering to celebrate those people in our lives who help us, and remind, us to celebrate ourselves, and in turn, celebrate them.

As I remember those I have lost, and all the reasons to celebrate them, it also celebrates who I am and how fortunate I have been to have had these two beautiful souls in my life. Both made my heart bigger, and I can still feel it expand when I think of them, so instead of filling my heart with sorrow, I will fill it with love and gratitude that both of these men showed me how to live life with grace and love and both showed me a version of myself I love and can celebrate today, and each and every day. Celebrate your best self today, and even your lesser self, because when we celebrate all of who we are we get better, and we learn to grow from that place, we learn to love all of our parts and that love may show others how to love theirs. Celebrate life, and the life of those who have left us, it is through our continued celebrating that their light keeps shining in our lives and allows our light to shine brighter. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you celebrate yourself, even in the difficult times? If yes, how do you celebrate? If not, why not? When you’ve lost a loved one, are you able to celebrate them and who they were? Are you able to see who you were to them? Are you able to celebrate that, and see yourself through their eyes? How do you show appreciation for who you are and what you’ve been through? Can you do more? What? Do you celebrate the people in your life? How? Can you do more? We often think people know how we feel, and they may, but it never gets old to hear that appreciation, and you never know when you may not get the opportunity to share it again. Celebrate yourself, and those around you, each day, and watch the light within, and around you, get brighter.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
state-of-slay Emotional Pain

I Don’t Want To Feel What I Feel

I stepped on this path over 13 ½ years ago, and much of what got me to this path was not wanting to feel my feelings. At first it started with not wanting to feel bad, or different, or less than, disappointed, or unsafe, but as my disease grew, and I continued to stuff my feelings down, I got to the point that I didn’t want to feel anything, even the good. The good, toward the end, was worse than the bad, because I didn’t feel like I deserved the good, so when a good feeling crept in it was immediately followed with guilt, and, fear that something bad was going to quickly come because I didn’t deserve to feel good. Much of the work I have done in recovery has focused on feeling my feelings, all feelings, acknowledging them, giving myself permission to have them, and letting them go. It has been many years since I have been challenged the way I am right now with not wanting to feel.

There has been an ongoing issue with a neighbor, a neighbor, ironically, who suffers from mental illness, and appears to be self-medicating with an illegal substance that affects our home and our own mental health greatly. We have tried through different channels to address this situation and it was decided on, through council, that our best option is to remove ourselves from the situation altogether. This, brought up a lot of feelings. And even though I am an advocate for everything I talk about here at State Of Slay™ I am still human and the feelings that came up knocked me off my feet.

I’ve really struggled, this week in particular, and I realized that since dealing with this issue next door, something that has been so upsetting and traumatizing that I may actually have some emotional damage from it, and, alongside that, the feeling of anger, frustration, and grief at having to leave a home we love because of someone else’s illness. Again, I can see the irony in this, as I was once, very much like this person next door, was living inside the darkness of my disease, although, never brought my disease to someone’s front door and into their home the way this person has. And as a result, I’ve  had a really difficult time through this. I struggled in a way I haven’t for a long time and there were moments in my struggle that scared me. And, it’s interesting being so open about mental health and an advocate for self-care and positive thinking, because I almost didn’t give myself permission to feel what I was feeling, and, to not want to feel it. Having been on this path for so long I have many safety nets in place, and, ultimately know what to do to get myself back on track, openly admitting this to someone I love and trust was a big first step and eased a lot of the shame around it, and digging into the foundation I have built has gotten me on stronger footing already, but it was a bit of scary week. I think, also, having this all come during Suicide Prevention Day and this month of awareness also brought up some old feelings and gave my disease a little bit of a soap box to stand on. I am grateful that I know better to listen, but those all too familiar feelings came up, and they felt awful.

My point for sharing this today is that no matter who you are, how far you’ve come, or what you use for voice for out in the world, you are allowed to feel, whatever that may be, and if those feelings bring you to a place that scares you or gives you concern, reach out to someone and share with them, and do the things you need to do to get yourself back to where you feel safe and at your best. Life does has it’s ups and downs, and most of it is beyond our control, accepting life on life’s terms and doing our best to navigate the twists and turns is all we can do, sitting in our hurt, or hate, or anger, and not accepting the truth only hurts us more. Today I will work on seeing the silver lining in all of this, of what I can learn and take away from my pain, and to use it to shine a light for others who may be feeling the same. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you allow yourself to feel your feelings? How do you do that? Do you share how you feel with others? If not, why not? If yes, do you have a circle of friends or people you trust you can be open and honest with? It’s OK to feel, you are entitled to have feelings, but what’s not OK is letting them dictate how your day is, or life is, or your value as a human being. Feelings are great indicators of what is really going on, they are triggered by memories or situations from our past, and can tell us a great deal about where are mental and spiritually. Let yourself feel and then set those feelings free, thanking them for showing you what you needed to see.

S – self  L – love A – appreciate Y – you