Good morning SLAYER! Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.” And, you can’t love you when you’re hiding who you truly are.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
slayer
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never apologize for who you are, be strong, be brave, be YOU!
SLAY on.
Take Up More Space
I think many of us at times have cut off pieces of ourselves to make other people more comfortable. We’ve made ourselves small. We’ve downplayed who we are and what we want to fit in nicely to what others are expecting of us, or willing to accept from us and cheating ourselves of being who we are authentically or going after what we want. Our job isn’t to make others comfortable with who we are, it’s to be the best us we can be and celebrate who we are and what we love, to go after the things that make us happy, that challenge us, and show off our talents. If that makes someone in your life uncomfortable then perhaps that person shouldn’t be in your life. A true friend or partner would want you to be you, and loves you for being you, and would never want you to dull your shine for them or those around you. Nor should we want nothing less for ourselves. As SLAYERS we should make ourselves priority, always shine bright and believe in our own strength, power, and beauty.
I didn’t always believe. I thought, for most of my life, that I was less than. That you all were the bright shiny stars, and even though I could pretend, put on the act like I too was bright, the truth was I didn’t believe I deserved it, and, I many times, made myself smaller so I wouldn’t stand out, or cause anyone to look at me. I had so many hopes and dreams and there were many I quashed in the darkness, I didn’t dare let out, or tell anyone, for fear you would tell me I didn’t deserve them, or they were stupid, or that you might get jealous. I lived like that most of my life, and it felt like I was constantly cutting away at who I was and I worried what would be left. In the end, not much was left, just an empty girl, with a dark heart, and an empty soul. Thankfully that girl had a tiny bit of light and fight left in her and started to put the pieces back to together.
Sometimes it takes a lot of walking through fear. If you’ve lived in an environment where you’ve been told you don’t deserve what you want, or aren’t good enough to get it, walking through the fear that they might be right can be difficult, difficult, but not impossible. Use your desire to push past your fear, to show yourself that you can, and you will accomplish and get what you want, what you’re working for, don’t let someone else’s insecurities or jealousies stop you from fulfilling your dreams. Surround yourself with people who do believe in you and support you, use that support to further fuel you as you step forward, growing, expanding, and taking up more space. The fear that you might fail is not your story, it’s someone else placing a narrative on you to make them feel better, and if it is you and your narrative, you have the power to change it, as I’ve written in the past, You Are The Author Of Your Own Story, so start writing a new chapter. Make your mark!
Don’t get caught up in someone else’s expectations of who you are and who you can be. Express yourself in it’s truest form and be your best self, regardless of limits others may put on you. You are the only one who can break free of the chains that hold you back, you hold the key to reaching your potential and realizing your dreams, let go of those people who don’t support that and you and let yourself shine, you may just light the path for those naysayers who said you couldn’t.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make yourself smaller to make others feel more comfortable? Why do you think you do that? What can you do to stop doing that? What do you think will happen if you do? If you have fears in doing so, what are those fears based on? Fears aren’t facts. What are the facts of your situation, why are you stopping yourself from living as your authentic self and going after you dreams? You are not a victim, you are not your past, what you are is a beautiful human being with so much to offer to world, go out there and get it and show us all what you’ve got. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never feel guilty for doing what’s best for you. Setting a boundary is not selfish, it is an act of self-respect and self-care. Don’t let someone get comfortable disrespecting you.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! It is important to check in with ourselves, but it’s just as important to check in with the world around us, to broaden our view and see what’s in front of us.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Are You A Navel Gazer?
There’s a danger in looking inward too much—when your world becomes a mirror that shows only your problems, your pain, your fears. That’s what it means to be a navel gazer: constantly watching yourself, magnifying your flaws, and forgetting there’s a wider world that offers both perspective and relief.
But when we only gaze inward, we isolate ourselves from life, community, and meaning. We inflate our burdens and lose sight of the beauty around us. The antidote? Turn your gaze outward. Let your life breathe again in connection, contribution, and service.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
The Mirage of Self-Focus
When you’re stuck in your head, every error feels fatal. Every criticism feels crushing. Every setback feels permanent. You spin—overthinking, replaying, analyzing—until your problems look like monsters.
I’ve been there. Trying to figure everything out before I moved, second-guessing every emotion, judging myself for what I felt. The more I did that, the more stuck I became.
Here’s what I finally came to see: self-focus without action is just self-absorption. You can think harder, but unless your gaze shifts, nothing changes.
Looking In vs Looking Out
Looking inward has its place—it can deepen self-awareness, healing, and growth. But only when balanced with looking outward.
When we only look in, we:
-
Magnify small issues into crises
-
Drown in self-criticism
-
Lose touch with what really matters
-
Disconnect from community
When we turn outward, we:
-
Remember there are bigger stories than ours
-
Find wisdom in serving, contributing, listening
-
Lighten our own burdens by lifting others
-
Reconnect with purpose beyond ourselves
The world doesn’t need more perfect self-reflection—it needs your presence. Your light. Your gift.
From Inside Spirals to Outside Impact
The shift out of navel-gazing is not denial. It’s not pretending nothing hurts. It’s choosing when to look inward—and when to look outward.
Here’s what it looked like for me:
-
When pain surfaced, I wrote it out. Then I stepped outside my four walls and asked someone else how their day was.
-
When fear whispered, I visited someone I knew needed encouragement—and I encouraged them.
-
When shame rolled in, I shared a fragment of truth with a trusted friend—I turned inward language into outward connection.
I found that the more I did that, the less power my internal spirals had. The more I engaged in life, the smaller my worries seemed in comparison to what we could create together.
Step Outside Your Gaze
You don’t have to live life wrapped up in your own thoughts. Here are ways to shift your gaze outward, even when you feel pulled inward:
-
Serve Someone Every Day
Small acts—listening, encouraging, volunteering—remind you that your struggles are not the whole world. -
Ask Questions, Then Listen
Ask someone else’s story, their fears, their joys. Let their story expand your soul. -
Join a Cause or Community
Be part of something bigger than yourself. Let your life connect with people, not isolate. -
Practice Gratitude Scans
Each day, list 3 things you see outside of you that bring joy—sunlight, a smile, a bird’s song. -
Pause the Mirror Time
When your thoughts spiral inward, pause and redirect—with kindness—to what’s outside: a walk, a view, a voice, a touch.
What Happens When You Look Out
When you step out of the spiral of navel gazing, something beautiful begins:
-
Problems shrink. They don’t disappear, but they feel less overwhelming.
-
You find solutions in unexpected places—through others, through service, through connection.
-
You reclaim your place in life’s big story. You aren’t just a spectator—you’re a participant.
-
You step into joy less burdened by the weight of your internal drama.
You begin to see that your life isn’t about solving every internal fault—it’s about living, with heart, with impact, with connection.
SLAY Reflection
-
How often do you find yourself trapped in your own thoughts or problems?
-
What costs you when you stay inward too long—peace? energy? relationships?
-
What is one small act you can do today to shift your gaze outward?
-
Who in your circle might need your presence, support, or listening?
-
How might your life change when you stop magnifying your worries and start magnifying your service?
S – Stop spiraling inward without purpose
L – Look outward and engage with the world around you
A – Act small, act kind, act beyond yourself
Y – Yield your focus to meaning beyond your mind
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself overthinking or turning inward too much—and what helped you shift your focus outward again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in their own head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to lift our gaze and reconnect with the world around us.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Be firm in your goals, but flexible in your methods. There may be a way to get what you want just by being open to alternative route.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! We have to admit, our best ideas haven’t always gotten us the best results. We can tell ourselves we’re sticking it out, but are we, or is our stubbornness holding us back? Sometimes we have to learn to let go, trust the process, and bend.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Give yourself permission to soar!
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Know Your Own Power
Before taking this journey I thought I was powerless, I never would have let you know that, because on the outside I presented a powerful front that was run purely on self-will and stubbornness, but inside, I felt helpless, alone, and a victim of life. And I was, because that was the outlook I chose to see. There are certain things we do not have power over, many things in fact, but what we do have power over is how we react to them, or, if we choose to engage with them at all, that, is in within our power. We have so much more power than we think, and when we start to exercise that power, and align those choices with our hopes, dreams and goals, our power grows and we go from powerless, to powerful.
No one us you. No one. There is power in that. There is no other person in the world who brings exactly what you have in the package you have it, no one. Know that. Own it. Use it. Even though you may have similar or shared experiences with other people, even though you may have similar backgrounds or education, no one has exactly what you have. Find the strength and power in that and use it to harness your talents, your ambitions, to go after what you want, use it to push you forward toward your goals and the direction you want to go. Don’t wait for permission to do something, create it, do it, go get it, work for it, make it happen. You are only as outside the center of power as you allow yourself to be, because truthfully, you are the center of your own power. Own that space, stand firm in who you are and what you want and take action.
This goes back to many of the topics I’ve discussed previously at State Of Slay, like many topics I discuss, everything builds on itself to create a solid foundation for us to stand, and to leap from, so we can rise to greater heights. Each step builds on the next, and gives us more self-confidence and strength to move forward, even if we’re still working on finding something in ourselves, the act of doing, seeking, or trying, works as a stepping stone to get us to the next step, and in trusting in the act of doing, sometimes we find the answer there. I’ve learned along my way that I’m not always going to figure it all out just because I’m working to do so, but I trust that I am learning what I need to know and gaining the information I need and I understand it when I’m supposed to have it, when I’m meant to, and that when I’m meant to understand or get what I’m working to find or achieve, I will, as long as I keep doing the work, so, even if you don’t have what you think you need to move forward, trust that you have enough, and that you will have the rest when you do need it and are ready, just take action, take action with the best of intentions with the information you do have, and move forward toward the things you want. I know that can be difficult when you’re struggling with self-doubt, or slow self-esteem, but just the act of doing it anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, taking contrary action, can help you gain more self-esteem and start to chip away at your self-doubt because you are taking positive steps towards being your authentic self and going after what you want. Never be ashamed of that. Never give up if it’s something you want and are willing to work for it. Keep moving forward and focus on your inner strength, your inner power, visualize it, use it to move you when you feel paralyzed with fear or uncertainty, use to grow, and to shine your light.
Know your power, and own it.
There is only one you, that is our power SLAYER. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see and feel the power you have within? If not, why not? How do you think you can find it? Only you have the power to find your own power, and when you do, and you find the fire within you, you have the fuel to propel you to where you want to do, you have the fuel to shine bright in all that you do. It’s time to take action SLAYER, to find and own your power, to know that you are like no one else out there, only you are you. Write down 5 things that you think make you special. Write down 5 things you love about yourself. Write down 5 things that you want for yourself. Now use those things that make you special, use those things that you love about yourself, and go get the things you want! You, SLAYER, have the power to do that.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
