It’s easy to carry the weight of old stories, the ones that say you can’t, or you’re not enough.
But today, release those stories.
Clear the space for your truth, for the voice that’s been waiting to be heard.
When you let go of what no longer serves you, you make room for what’s real, what’s possible.
This is a reminder to free yourself from the chains of yesterday and step into your truth.
Your truth is waiting.
SLAY ON.
How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?
It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.
And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.
We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.
What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.
That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.
When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.
But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.
I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.
I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.
When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.
If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.
It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.
When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.
More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.
Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.
We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.
So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”
Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.
When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Fear can show up in sneaky ways. It did just the other day—while talking with a group of women, someone brought up fear, and we all shifted in our seats.
There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. And with uncertainty often comes fear. But most fear doesn’t live in the present—it lives in the past or the future. That’s what makes it so tricky. It takes us out of the only place where we have power: the now.
When I feel fear creeping in—and I have, especially recently—I bring myself back to the present. I ground myself in gratitude. I focus on my breath. I ask: How is my now?
Because right now, in this moment, I’m okay.
Before I began walking this path, I didn’t live in the now. I lived everywhere but here. I obsessed over what had already happened or worried about what might come next. I was spinning—and because I wasn’t grounded in the present, I couldn’t take meaningful action.
My life became unmanageable. Fear ran the show. And instead of facing what was in front of me, I avoided it. I let things slide. I convinced myself that if I ignored the chaos long enough, it might resolve itself. Spoiler: it didn’t.
Eventually, the only way forward was through. I had to stop hiding from the now and start making peace with it. Slowly, the present stopped feeling like a battlefield and started becoming a place of peace—a space where I could reflect, reset, and realign.
The more I committed to living in the now, the less power fear had over me. It still visits, of course. But today, I don’t let it drive. I stay focused on the moment—and when I do, I can breathe again.
We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We can’t change what’s already happened. But we can choose how we show up today.
Even when life feels uncertain, we can find clarity by focusing on what’s in front of us. One step. One breath. One moment at a time.
This is how we quiet the fear. This is how we get grounded.
And if the now doesn’t feel great? That’s okay. The present is still the place where change can happen. We get to respond differently. We get to choose a new direction.
Ask yourself: How is my now? And if you don’t like the answer, know that this is the best place to begin again.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re bringing yourself back to the now when fear tries to take over?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or uncertainty, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a moment of presence to find our power again.
It’s not often I’m at a loss for words. Ask anyone who knows me well, and they’ll tell you—I’ve always got something to say. But lately? Lately, I’ve felt more shaken. Disheartened. I’ve struggled to find the right words in the face of what feels like an unraveling of the world around me.
If you’ve been reading the blog or following State of Slay™ for a while, you know I try to focus on growth, light, and resilience. I look for the lesson. The shift. The silver lining. And I’ve been trying to do that even as it feels like the people and places around me are falling apart.
Yesterday, it hit hard. I sat in my car, parked outside a store, completely unable to get out. I was paralyzed by the weight of it all—the lies, the selfishness, the lack of empathy. I’ve been feeling it for a while now: the anxiety of living in a place that doesn’t feel safe, the exhaustion of building something meaningful in uncertain times, the strain of trying to uplift others when I’m struggling to hold myself up.
A friend recently said they missed my positive energy. I mentioned I’d been a little low, and they replied that they’d noticed—but didn’t ask why. Didn’t check in. I get it. We all have a lot going on. But if we lose that connection—if we stop checking in on each other—what do we have left?
I know how I’ve made it this far: community. Support. A deep belief that light exists, even when it’s dim. My flame may be flickering, but it’s not out. And I know where to look to ignite it again.
Before recovery, I thrived in the dark. I fed off negativity. I surrounded myself with people who mirrored my pain—people who used me, hurt me, and validated my belief that I wasn’t worthy of love or light. I clung to the victim narrative because it was easier than owning my part.
That mindset? It’s poison. It makes you believe that happiness is something someone else gives you. But real happiness—the kind that lasts—comes from living with integrity. From taking responsibility for our actions, our energy, and our healing.
Recovery taught me that the road to peace is paved with truth. That my actions, not my intentions, define who I am. That I get to choose how I show up in the world. And that means something, especially in times like these.
We’re all going through something. Some days are heavier than others. But now more than ever, we need to lift each other up—not tear each other down. We need to ask the extra question, send the check-in text, give the benefit of the doubt.
We need to be someone we can be proud of.
A few months ago, I asked: When all of this is over, will you be proud of who you were?
If you hesitate to answer, it’s time to get honest.
Choose compassion. Choose kindness. Choose truth. Choose to be the light—even if your flame is just a spark right now.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve done recently that made you proud—or one thing you want to do to course-correct?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling disconnected or dim, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little light to find our way back.
Before I started this path, I wished for change daily. I hoped something—or someone—would swoop in and fix everything. But I wasn’t honest about what was really going on. I blamed others. I minimized my pain. I lived in denial.
What I didn’t realize was that my life wouldn’t get better just because I wanted it to. Wishing doesn’t work without action. And action requires honesty, openness, and willingness.
H.O.W. may sound simple, but when you’re living in darkness, it can feel impossible. Denial lies to you. It convinces you to bury the truth, avoid the mirror, and keep digging deeper into the hole.
But once I got desperate enough, I stopped digging. I looked up. I told the truth. And for the first time in a long time, I was willing to climb.
The day I got honest about the mess I’d made was the day everything started to shift.
I saw the wreckage I had caused—not just in my life, but in the lives of people who had tried to love me. I stopped blaming. I started owning. I opened myself to new ideas, new tools, new people who could guide me.
And I became willing—not just to admit my mistakes, but to fix them. That’s where real healing lives. That’s where the change I had longed for finally began to show up.
It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t fast. But it was real.
When you’re ready to change but don’t know how, ask yourself:
If the answer to any of those is no, you’re not stuck—you’re just not ready yet.
But if the answer is yes?
Get ready. Life is about to shift.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can practice honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s ready for change but doesn’t know where to start, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a roadmap—and a nudge.
Fear has a way of creeping in quietly—and taking over quickly. It pulls us out of the present moment and plants us firmly in the past or the future, playing out worst-case scenarios or old wounds on repeat. But the truth is, when we’re in fear, we’re not really here.
I had a conversation recently with a friend who found herself back in a familiar situation—and right back in fear. The feelings were intense: paralyzing anxiety, overwhelming self-doubt, and a fear of losing what she wanted or not getting what she needed. We talked about what fear does—how it derails relationships, distorts truth, and keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns.
And most of all, how it removes us from the now.
I know this pattern well. Before walking this path, fear ran the show. Most of my decisions—if not all—were made out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being seen. Fear of being invisible. I either braced for impact or ran from it.
But fear can’t survive in the present. That’s something I’ve learned in recovery. When I’m rooted in what’s real—what’s right in front of me—fear starts to lose its grip. I may still feel nervous or uncertain, but I’m no longer frozen. I can take action. I can stay grounded. I can breathe.
When I stay in the moment, I stay in the facts. I don’t get lost in what-ifs. I focus on the next right step.
That’s not to say I don’t feel fear anymore—I do. But I don’t let it drive the car. I know now that fear often tells lies. It tries to convince me that I don’t have options. That I’m still that scared version of myself who had no choice but to repeat the same mistakes. But I’m not. I’ve walked through fire and come out stronger. And each time I’ve stepped into fear, I’ve stepped through it.
Sometimes fear pops up when I try something new. Sometimes it whispers when I begin to grow. But when I remember how many times I’ve faced fear and survived—when I recall the freedom that follows courage—it helps me stay centered.
You don’t have to let fear run your life. You can acknowledge it, feel it, and still take the next step. That’s what growth is.
We all experience fear. Some of it is healthy—like instinctive caution that keeps us safe. But the fear that stops us from showing up fully? That keeps us from chasing dreams or forming meaningful relationships? That’s the fear worth challenging.
Stay grounded. Stay curious. Stay present.
Because the only place you can make real change—the only place you can grow—is right here, right now.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
How has fear shown up in your life—and how do you bring yourself back to the present?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in a fear loop, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that we’re not alone—and we’re braver than we think.
There were so many times—when I was living in my darkness—that I wished I could turn back time. Every day felt heavier. My shame grew deeper, my self-hatred stronger, and my life more out of control. I remember wondering how I ended up in such a place, feeling trapped and defeated. And instead of taking action, I relied on wishful thinking, hoping things would magically return to the way they once were.
But as they say: a pickle can’t go back to being a cucumber.
Life moves forward, whether we do or not. Time doesn’t stop just because we’re stuck. We can’t undo the past, and we can’t relive the glory days we once knew. No amount of hoping, wishing, or romanticizing will turn back the clock.
What we can do is choose to grow from where we are now. We can become the best version of who we are today. We might not be able to go back to who we were before, but we can become someone even stronger—someone wiser, more resilient, and more alive because of what we’ve walked through.
When I stopped trying to return to the past and started showing up for the present, everything changed. I started building the life I wanted—not by undoing what was, but by creating what could be.
In the beginning, I had to learn how to be okay with discomfort. Letting go of the past and embracing the present wasn’t easy. I had to shift my mindset, stop reliving old memories, and set new goals for myself. I had to trust that I could heal, evolve, and become someone I hadn’t even imagined yet.
And you know what? I did.
Today, I live in forward motion. I know I can’t be who I was before, but I can be someone better. I’ve learned to love the journey—even when it’s messy. Because forward is the direction of growth. It’s where joy, healing, and new beginnings live.
We don’t need to be cucumbers again. We just need to be the best damn pickles we can be.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can let go of the past and move forward today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who keeps looking back, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that the best is yet to come.
This is a question I ask myself every single day.
It’s the question that grounds me, guides me, and pushes me forward—especially on the days when I feel stuck. It’s what led me to start this blog years ago, and what continues to lead me through my recovery and beyond:
What can I contribute to life—today?
When I began my journey in recovery, I was surrounded by support—more than I expected, and more than I felt I deserved. I was told early on how important it was to give back. And I did. But it wasn’t until I survived a night I shouldn’t have that I truly understood what that meant.
That night changed everything.
Working through the survivor’s guilt was heavy. But eventually, I asked myself a new question—not why I survived, but how I was going to use that survival to make a difference. That shift pulled me out of guilt and into action.
Today, it’s still what gets me out of my own head. When I ask, “How can I be of service?”, I’m no longer obsessing over what I lack, who hurt me, or what I wish was different. I’m shifting my energy outward—into purpose, into connection, into change.
When we approach our day with a heart of service, we get a powerful gift in return: perspective.
Instead of reacting out of ego or trying to control a situation that isn’t ours to fix, we can pause and ask, Is there a way I can contribute here? And sometimes, the answer is to step back. Not every contribution is loud. Sometimes it’s simply holding space, offering silence, or choosing not to escalate a moment that’s not about us.
That humility keeps us grounded. It keeps us teachable. And it reminds us that our greatest impact isn’t in being right—it’s in being present.
I believe we’re here to help each other.
To lift each other.
To challenge each other.
To remind each other what love and support feel like.
When we stay self-centered, we cut ourselves off from that connection. We lose the gift of being part of something bigger. But when we stay open to giving—whether it’s our time, our wisdom, or simply our kindness—we stay rooted in community, perspective, and purpose.
When you ask how you can contribute to life, life responds.
Even on our hardest days, we have something to offer. Something to give. A kindness to share. A light to pass along. And when we choose to shine that light outward, it often finds its way back to us—brighter than before.
SLAY on.
Do you ask yourself what you can give, rather than what you need?
What do you do each day to contribute to the world around you?
If you don’t yet, what’s one small way you could start?
Have you noticed a shift in your mindset when you act in service?
How has giving back changed your life, your relationships, or your attitude?
What part of your story could help someone else feel seen or supported?
We’re not here to do life alone. Contribution connects us. Let’s start showing up—for each other.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can contribute to life today—no matter how big or small?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or unmotivated, send this to them.
Sometimes, the shift we need is in simply asking a better question.
I used to live with blinders on.
Not the kind you wear—but the kind you believe.
I only saw what I wanted to see. I filtered everything through my pain, my fear, and the false narratives I told myself over and over again. If I thought I was a bad person, I looked for proof. If I believed I was unlovable, I focused on every moment that could validate that. If I thought life was unfair, I zeroed in on all the ways I’d been wronged.
I wasn’t seeing the truth—I was seeing my trauma.
And I was listening through it too.
When we don’t see with our eyes and hear with our ears—when we see and hear through the noise of our past or our pain—we miss what’s right in front of us. We convince ourselves of stories that may not be true. We act on distorted feelings. And slowly, we begin to disconnect from reality, from the people around us, and from ourselves.
That’s where I was before I began this path.
My perspective was warped. My sense of truth was tangled in denial and self-destruction. But I couldn’t live that way anymore. And when I started my recovery journey, the very first thing I had to do was get honest—with myself, and with the world around me.
Truth didn’t come all at once—it came in pieces.
Each time I stripped away a lie I had believed, the world became clearer. Each time I sat in the discomfort of a moment instead of running from it, I reclaimed a little more power. I learned how to be present, how to focus on what was right in front of me, and how to listen with compassion.
That’s when I stopped reacting and started responding.
Because here’s what I know now:
We can’t live fully if we’re not looking and listening fully.
It’s easy to get lost in our distractions—our phones, our playlists, our screens. But when we do that, we cut ourselves off from the life happening around us.
We ignore truth.
We disconnect from others.
We retreat into the stories we already believe.
But life isn’t meant to be background noise.
It’s meant to be lived, seen, heard, and felt.
And the only way we can do that is by taking off the blinders.
When we truly see and hear what’s happening around us, something shifts. We become part of the world again. We stop reacting through old patterns and start participating in real connection. We begin to move with clarity and intention.
Let go of the need to be right.
Let go of the comfort of the old narrative.
And open yourself to what is actually real, here, now.
Because your truth lives in the present.
All you have to do is look. And listen.
SLAY on.
Are you seeing and hearing the truth—or just what you’ve trained yourself to expect?
Do you move through life fully engaged, or are you walking with emotional blinders on?
What truths might you be avoiding? What stories do you replay that might not be real?
How does this affect your relationships? Your inner peace?
When’s the last time you truly paused, took in your surroundings, and responded instead of reacting?
Challenge yourself to listen differently.
Look deeper.
And live fully.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you’ve learned to see clearly—once you stopped seeing it through the lens of your past?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who might be stuck in an old story, send this to them.
Sometimes, truth is what sets us free—but only when we choose to see it.
It’s a conversation I keep returning to—both personally and globally.
As the world continues to recalibrate, we’ve been given a rare invitation: to pause, reflect, and ask ourselves what do I want my life to look like on the other side of this? Many of us are eager to return to “normal,” but it’s worth asking—was normal really working?
When so many distractions fell away, we were left with the truth of our lives. The patterns we’d been avoiding. The cracks in our foundations. The parts we loved—and the parts we were merely surviving. Like any breakdown, there’s always a breakthrough waiting on the other side… if we’re willing to do the work.
When I first stepped into recovery, I had to rebuild my life from the ground up. It was terrifying. The old ways—my habits, my thinking, the comforts I clung to—felt safer than the unknown. But I knew they were keeping me sick. I couldn’t build anything new while holding onto what was breaking me.
So I started small. I laid one brick at a time. I let go of what no longer served me, even when it was uncomfortable. I reminded myself that I wouldn’t get everything right—and that was okay. Each day was a step toward something stronger. Even my mistakes became blueprints for something better.
I began to understand that how I live today is what determines my tomorrow. And that realization changed everything.
This pause we’ve been given? It’s a gift. A chance to slow down and evaluate what truly matters. It’s not just about personal change—it’s about collective change. As we rebuild our lives, we have a powerful opportunity to decide who we want to be, how we want to live, and what kind of world we want to create.
The moments that have stood out to me most during this time aren’t the news updates or daily routines—they’re the simple acts of kindness, the community support, the honest conversations, and the reminders that we’re not alone.
We’ve seen what matters. Let’s not forget it.
What we choose today—how we love, how we show up, how we take care of ourselves and others—sets the tone for tomorrow. We get to decide what we keep, what we release, and what we build next.
Lay your foundation with care. Fill the cracks with truth. Strengthen your spirit with willingness and action. That’s how we grow something solid. Something beautiful. Something that lasts.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rebuild
Have you used this time to evaluate your life with honesty?
What habits, people, or patterns do you want to leave behind?
What priorities have shifted for you—and why?
What healthy changes have felt good? What distractions are you ready to release?
What can you start doing today to lay a stronger foundation for the life you want tomorrow?
This moment is a powerful opportunity to build something new.
Lay it down with intention.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve made—or are ready to make—to build a better tomorrow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s navigating change right now, send this their way.
Sometimes, we just need to know we’re not doing it alone.
