I had a great conversation the other day with a friend about fear. She was in fear about something, an issue that had come up many times in her life, and she found herself, once again, in the same situation, and right back in fear. We talked about that fear, where it comes from, what exactly comes up when fear takes over, how she feels, and how it paralyzes her and gets in the way of relationships. Fear can be like a wrecking ball in our lives, destroying the good we have built and leaving big holes in our lives allowing more fear to come in. And when we let fear take over, we are not present, we are living in the past or jumping forward in the future.
Today, for me, fear does creep in at times but it doesn’t rule my life like it once did. My life before was constantly dictated by fear, most of the time I didn’t even realize how much of it was, but when I look back and get honest, almost every decision I made was fear-based. I was in fear of not getting what I wanted or losing what I had, as well as 1,000 other forms of fear. But when I was in fear I was not in the moment, I was reliving an event from my past or worrying about the future, when I focused on the place I was that fear began to subside because I was taking the action I could right there in the moment. And I find when I stay in the present I don’t have fear because I’m focusing on just the facts and what the next right thing is. I may have a little nervousness depending on the situation, like if I’m trying something new, but the overwhelming sense of fear I used to live with daily, is not there. Fear robs us of our freedom, it dictates what our next move is and it can hold us back and keep us in the past. Fear tells us that we don’t have choices or options to do anything but what we’ve done before, even if that has never worked, but if we listen to fear we continue to do the same things over and over and wonder why we keep finding ourselves in the same situations. Fear lies to us, and the only way to conquer it is to stop listening and stop taking the same action we have many times over. We need to stay humble, we need to remain teachable and we need to remain open to new ideas while living in the present moment, if we are able to live in that space fear cannot control us and if we learn to step over our fear of doing something different than we have before we may find the result we’ve been looking for. That moment when we change our pattern, we change ourselves, and we walk past that fear to a place we’ve never been before. I’ve done it, many times, and I can tell you that the feeling I’ve gotten as a result of stepping through my fear and breaking the chains of my past is one of the best feelings in the world, and the feeling I remember when fear comes calling again. Once you’ve conquered fear it loses its power over you.
We all have fears in life, that’s normal, and there is such a thing as healthy fear, that fear that stops us from making choices that may harm us or those around us, but the fear that gets in the way of us living our best lives is the fear that needs to be overcome if we’re ever going to rise above our fears to realize our dreams. Stay calm, stay present, stick with the facts and move forward with purpose. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let fear get in the way of your life and relationships? How so? What can you do to change that? What are you most fearful about? Are those fears real or from your past? Are you fears based in things that haven’t happened yet? What are they? What can you do right now to prevent those fears from coming true? Life doesn’t wait for us to take action, it will take its own action without our consent, but when we take our own lives in our hands and choose to take positive actions in our lives to be our best selves or reach the goals we want to achieve, fear takes a backseat as we take the wheel and take a turn onto a new road.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you