For many of us, we may feel a change is needed or we may want to change but don’t know where to start. The idea of change may feel daunting, and we may not know how to start. Or, we may want change but only if it can be done on our terms or within the parameters of our comfortability. The key to change is H.O.W; honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. Did that make you step back? Yes, the secret is out. Without those three ingredients change has very little hope of happening.
In the past I hoped for change. I wished for change every day, but wishing for it wasn’t ever going to make it happen when I wasn’t in a place of H.O.W. I was in denial about what my issues truly were, I downplayed them in my head and I blamed others for my heartache and pain. Honesty was far from my way of living, I was doing whatever I needed to do to keep going, at any cost, I didn’t like the way I was living my life, and the toll it was taking on me, but I didn’t know that the only cost to me to see change in my life was honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. These seem like some big-ticket items when you’re living in the darkness of your own mind, a darkness that lies to you and where you lie to yourself. Those lies dug a deeper and deeper hole until I could barely see the light, that opening that used to be there, the place I walked in, but had since piled sky-high with dirt, destruction and deceit. The only way to a better life was to get honest, be open and be willing to do the work necessary to dig my way out. I am grateful that I got desperate enough, and scared enough, to find that willingness.
When I sat down and looked at my life, honestly, it was a mess and I had no one else to blame but myself. I hadn’t been taken care of myself, I had let my pride get in the way of the help that had been there, and I had enjoyed my role as victim placing the blame on everyone else rather than myself. If I had any hope of getting better, of change, I had to get honest. That wasn’t always easy, facing the truth and consequences of my actions, to be accountable for not only my own life but the people I may have harmed along the way, the damage I had done. But coming to terms with those things and learning a better way of life, fixing things along the way, and admitting those mistakes, I began to see that change I had wished for in the past. Living a life of honesty and learning to live with an open mind helped open the door to the life I have today, because when I had continued to do things the way I had always done them, I continued to get what I always had gotten. I had to make changes to see change and I was finally willing to make the changes necessary to see the change I wanted to see. I held the key, not some magical thinking nor was someone else going to swoop in and fix me, that had to come from me, and only then would that change stick if I continued to do the work.
When we want to change and don’t know where to start we ask how, but the answer to that question lies within ourselves. If we start with honesty, open-mindedness and willingness the remaining answers will come, we don’t have to know all the steps we need to take, we just need to take the first step, and only we can take it. I love the power in that, we do have the power to change our lives, to make the changes we want to make and to see progress and change come true for us if we take the action. How honest, open-minded and willing are you today? SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you wish for change in your life? What do you wish for? How can you go about getting or finding that change? Are you honest, open-minded and willing? If not, why not? What do you find most challenging? If you focus on those three things what do you think you can change? Have you been honest, open-minded and willing in the past? What changed as a result? What has gotten in the way of those three things? How has that affected your life as a result? We can make change happen in our lives, we just need to start with three simple incredients, after that, anything is possible.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you