grow

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Tell the person you were before that you love them.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Forgive Yourself 1

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Believe in your ability to create change.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Change Look

Live With Intent Not Out Of Habit

Before stepping on this path I lived out of habit. I was unhappy with the way I was living my life, but I did nothing to change it. Each day was like Groundhog Day, I just kept repeating the same behaviors and getting the same results, and yet, somehow, I hoped each that things would be different. They never were. Well, except they kept getting worse. My intent every day, back then, was to just disappear, to ignore the things I didn’t want to deal with and find ways to distract or numb myself so I wouldn’t feel. Now, I’m sure a few of you out there know ignoring something typically doesn’t make it go away. I had to learn to stop that cycle if I had any hope of getting better. Or even surviving the endless cycle I was in.

When I got on a path of recovery I realized I had a lot of habits I needed to break. I was told it takes 90 days to break a habit, I figured it probably took longer than that, but 90 days seemed like manageable number, so I set off, focusing on making positive changes to my life in those 90 days like my life depended on it, because it did. I did everything that was suggested, many things for the first time, or through anxiety or fear. But as I started to make better choices, and break those old habits, I started to feel better, it was tiny little steps at first, but they were there, and I could feel a shift. It wasn’t all easy going through the 90 days, the old me, and that negative self-talk in my head, wasn’t going to go down without a fight, and it got loud up there, but I learned to practice contrary action, to do the opposite of what my head was telling me and do what was right. Each time I did that, I not only took my power back but I took away the voice of that negative self-talk. I started to feel stronger, more confident and proud of taking my life back as I started to live with the intent of well-being, of peace and of better choices. It was within that space that I learned to love myself, something I had never done up until that point, because it was through those loving acts to myself that I found a love for myself, and on days when it slipped away I had the love and support of those around me to remind me how to find it.

It’s easy to live life as we always have, or as our parents have, or friends or co-workers have, but is that really in line with how you feel or what you want for yourself? Have you even asked yourself what you want? I know I had, but then never took the steps to go and get it. And sometimes it’s a matter of knowing what we want and not knowing how to get it, that also rang true for me, and the thought of not knowing can paralyze us and keep us where we are. My journey has taught me that if I take the first steps, the steps I may know, and I make my intent clear, that the next few steps will appear in front of me, or someone will who will show me the way. It’s the intent that sets us in motion and then from there we need to take action and build that momentum to where we want to go. And, we may get in our own way and try to convince ourselves what we want isn’t attainable for us, but it is, one step at a time. I know, because I did it, and I am no different than you are.

We all walk this road together, and it’s easy to follow the pack, but ask yourself where it is you want to go on your journey, and instead of just walking on the same path you always have, walk with intent of where you want to go next. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you live your life with intent or just do what you’ve always done? Have you asked yourself what you would like to do? Is that in line with how you’re living your life today? What steps can you take to live your life with intent? Where have you made mistakes in the past or gotten lazy in your resolve? What can you do to change that? Start each day with intent SLAYER, and if you’re unsure of what steps to take to get there, ask for help or look to someone who is living with intent that you may know for inspiration. We are not meant to stay stuck where we are, get yourself on a path that excites you and allows you to find and be your best you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! You can have results or excuses, not both.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Strength Overcome (1)

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The one who falls and gets up is a lot stronger than the one who never fell.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state-of-slay-Push Past

 

When Was The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?

Good question. Today. The answer for me was today. But before stepping on this path, I probably had to think about it for a while, and if I was able to come up with an answer, it probably would have been a long time ago. I got stuck in a cycle of darkness and despair. I would wake up angry I woke up, having wished the night before that I would just die in my sleep, I would tell myself that the day ahead was going to be different, but it never was, and I went to bed angry that I had just repeated the same day over yet again. But, I wasn’t doing anything different, so how could I expect anything different than what I had been getting? My head wanted me to relive the same day over and over because it wanted to keep me sick. It wanted me to say right where I was until I couldn’t take it anymore. And I got to that point. The point of not being able to take it anymore, and then I was at a crossroads, do I do something different, something for the first time, or let the same things take me out? I chose to do something for the first time, and I reached out for help. That saved my life.

Now, doing something for the first time might not be as dire as that, but it might be. The decisions we make every day effect how we see ourselves, our lives, those around us, and the trajectory where we’re going and who we come into contact with. While I was on my road to recovery I was encouraged to say yes to things, to try new things and to break out of the routine I had been in. Saying yes to new things was a bit scary at first. As much I didn’t like the way things were, I knew what the result was going to be, there were no surprises, as sick as I was, there was comfort in that place I knew, trying new things felt scary, like falling from the sky without a parachute or net, but I had to jump if I wanted to learn to fly.

I tried to look at new things as something exciting, that perspective helped those three letters come out of my mouth, y-e-s. I said yes to pretty much everything, as long as it was moving me forward and helping me in my recovery. And you know what? The more I did it, the less scary it became, and, I learned a lot about myself in the process. I had never asked myself what I liked or wanted, outside of career, I just tried to blend in, and did what I thought you wanted me to do so you wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. This was now my time! My time to discovery who I really was, and what I really liked. I also met a lot of cool people along the way, people I never would have met if I had kept saying no and isolated in my apartment. Saying yes to me meant saying yes to life, and I was determined to live.

Today I still say yes to new things. In fact, I look for new things to say yes to. I continue to learn about myself because I continue to grow and explore, and saying yes to new things is a key ingredient to that. There is so much out there that I haven’t done, or even know about, saying no and only sticking with what I know is doing myself a huge disservice, I’ve come this far, why would I stop now? Are you getting in the way of your own growth or health by saying no to new things?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open trying new things? If not, why not? When was the last time you said yes to something new? What was it? What was the result? Do you typically say yes to new things? What positive things has saying yes brought to your life? What has it taught you? How has it helped you grow? If you haven’t been saying yes, how do you think it may be hurting you? Are you currently happy where you are? Is there something you could say yes to that might move you forward, away from the place you currently find yourself? Where would you like to find yourself? How can you get there? Life presents us with many choices every day, if we don’t say yes to new things we stay stuck where we are, and, we may be missing out on where we should be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You are worth finding, worth knowing, worth loving. You, and all your million layers.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Know Your Worth

Life Is A Road Not A Rest Stop

Most of us set goals for ourselves, or have a destination in mind we’d like to get to. We keep working and striving to get where we want to be, or may get diverted to where we should be. But there are those of us too, or times in our lives, that stop. Sometimes those rests are needed, we do need to take breaks and allow ourselves to regain focus, recharge or rethink where we’re headed, but keeping ourselves in check so we don’t get too comfortable where we are and overstay our welcome is important. We’re not meant to stand still and remain where we are, we are meant to learn, grow and move forward, even though that place where we may find ourselves may feel safe, or all we can every attain, it is not, on both accounts, unless we believe that, and we shouldn’t allow ourselves to.

I used to talk myself out of many opportunities even before they started. I would allow my negative self-talk convince me that I wasn’t good enough, or it was too difficult or I didn’t deserve what I wanted or what was presented in front of me. I had goals, there were things I wanted, and if I obtained them enough, I would sit tight and hide, thinking it would be taken away or in fear of the next goal or milestone. I would let the entirety of the journey ahead stall me before I even left the gate, and those voices in my head would tell me I was reaching too high and could never get there. It wasn’t until I changed paths and started on the path I am now that I was told that all I had to do was what was in front of me today, and do the best I could within that day, that things changed for me. Just focusing on today was much more manageable, and sometimes at the start, it was focusing on minute by minute, but it helped me to break it down into more manageable parts. As I began to practice this new way of life I started reaching new milestones and goals I had set for myself, my life was moving forward and I was leaving my old life behind. I attribute that to the work I was doing and my change in method, but I also attribute that to finally being in the right path, the path I was meant to be on. I find that when we are trying to force a certain path that movement forward is painstakingly slow, if at all, and each step feels like trying to run through quick sand, but when we are where we are meant to be, those steps can easily turn into long strides of achievement. I was not mean to stay where I was, in fact I would have died there, I was and am meant to be exactly where I am today.

It is always important to take breaks and rest, but we need to make sure we haven’t lost track of time and have stayed in a rest stop when we are meant to be back on the road. We all have a purpose, a reason for being here, whether you know what your calling is or not, it’s about following your heart, your soul, that inner voice inside of you that guides you and shows you the way, or it may be finding that to start, but it’s there, if you let yourself be quiet enough to hear it, maybe that is your path, right here, right now. Many times life doesn’t look the way we thought it would be, or should be, but we are shown different paths or lead to them for a reason, if you don’t like the one you’re on, stop and look around, listen, take rest, and then get back on the road that calls your name. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like you’re on road or stuck in a rest stop? Why do you feel this way? Do you feel like you need a rest, or got stuck there? Or, are you afraid to leave there? Are you happy with the road you find yourself on today? If not, why not? How can you find the right road for you? What road would you like to find yourself on? What steps can you take today to get yourself closer to that road? Each and every day there are many roads in front of us, with many exits and rest stops, take the road that feels most authentic to you, even if it’s the more difficult, if it is where you are meant to be, that road will become less treacherous, and you may just find yourself on the expressway.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Let go!

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Define Me

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Anger is like acid, it can do more harm where it is stored than where it’s poured.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Makes You Happy