Good morning SLAYER! You are enough and you have enough to get started, even if you only have a maybe in your heart, maybe is enough. Start now.
SLAY on!
compassion
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What are you grateful for today?
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
A Great Day Of Gratitude
Monday will mark the 8th Anniversary of the night I almost died, and by all accounts, should have died. It is a day, for many years, that left me feeling lost, unsure, and sad. It took me a while to process the event, something I still don’t know what to call, a slip, a fall, an accident, I still don’t really know, but what I do know is that against all odds I did survive and I know I didn’t do it alone.
If you’re not familiar with my night on the beach my blog, A Power Greater Than Myself, can be found by clicking this link, A Power Great Than Myself, I talked about that night, the little bit of memory I do have from it and how I was saved by an unknown man who never left his name. I believe he was an angel, in every sense of the word, he most likely saved my life, a life that should have already been taken by a severe concussion, the ocean, and hypothermia. I still haven’t been back to that beach in Malibu, that place where I surrendered to a power greater than myself when I could no longer help myself, no longer walk, no longer fight what was, I was hooped, I thought I was going to die on that beach. And as angry as I was to be there, in the dark, shaking uncontrollably with no way of helping myself, or getting help, as angry as I was with God for having me go through all that I had been through, for seeing me through fighting my way to a better place, and for seemingly letting me die alone in the dark cold night, I realized I had gotten myself there, I had stayed out too long, too late, and I had decided to leave my phone in the car to cut myself off from the world to find some uninterrupted peace. Well, I had done just that, and now that I needed help and had nowhere to turn, I had no one to turn to but the God of my understanding to ask for help. Damn I was angry. But God isn’t there to do it for me, I have the power of choice, and my choices got me in that place, not God. It was a sense of entitlement that had gotten me angry, that sense that I had turned my life around so now I should be protected from bad things, from harm, but I hadn’t protected myself that day, and, just because we are living as our true selves and living in the light that doesn’t mean we are never touched by the darkness. I don’t think I articulated quite that well that night shivering in the night, but I did come to the realization that I had gotten myself there and all I could do was surrender. And surrender I did. I looked up at the night sky, the stars, and surrendered to whatever was next, and when I did that, I felt a wave of calm come over me. That was the last memory I have on that beach. My next memory was waking up the next day in emergency room in Santa Monica.
A lot has happened since that night, and as I had mentioned, it took me a while to process what had happened and to come to terms with why I survived, why I was saved. I’ve shared this before, I feel I am here to be of service, to give back, to share my light with those who may be sitting in the dark, and I think we all have that gift to give. For me it took something almost catastrophic to realize that lesson, with me it often does, but what it taught me is, even though we do have the ability to make our own choices and take our own action, there is something out there watching over us, protecting us when we get ourselves way off track, even when it doesn’t seem like there is, if you look back there were signs, mine were more than signs, I heard a voice that night, it told me everything was going to be OK, and it was, and that voice is a reminder on days that might go dark that there is a light waiting for me to reach for the switch, because when I surrendered and stopped fighting, an angel appeared and saved my life.
If you are struggling or fighting today I encourage you to surrender, I don’t mean give up, I mean stop fighting because you feel like you should have been given better, stop fighting yourself, stop fighting for things to only looking a certain way and embrace what is, and what can be. It is only then that we can rise above the darkness, that we can live in the light, and, we can spread our wings and fly.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you fight what you know you should do because you want things to be or look a certain way? What is the result of that? Do you think it helps? How does it hurt you? Are you open to new things? Do you see that your best thinking, or your way of doing things, may have brought you to the place where you are not happy and quite possibly stuck spinning your wheels? How can you change that? If you are unsure of how to take positive steps in your life, who or what can you go to ask for guidance? If no one comes to mind, where can you look? The answers are out there SLAYER when we look, when we have an open mind and an open heart, the answers, and help, is all around us. Surrender to the light, to the good, to the unknown of doing things differently, you just may have more help than you ever could have imagined. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Walk through life with love in your heart and you are ready for any battle. Even when you feel lost, trust, you are exactly where you are meant to be.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! To soar to great heights, you need a good foundation under you, one that will keep you solid through the worst storms.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Thank you to all of you who joined me tonight for a SLAY TALK LIVE full of love!
For those who weren’t able to join us, here’s what you missed.
Are You Leaving Trap Doors For Yourself?
Even when we step into the light and start to forge a new path for ourselves, a path that honors who we are and where we want to go, a path that allows us to build self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, we can leave trap doors for ourselves to fall through. There are sometimes places inside of us that want to keep us where we were, that want to keep us back, that want us in the dark. We succumb to these places, and sometimes tell ourselves we belong there. And sometimes, we believe it. Why would we set ourselves up to fail?
There are many reasons why we do this to ourselves. We may still feel undeserving of success, or better things, so we sabotage our road to success, not believing we truly deserve it. Believing we should hold ourselves back from where we want to go, or feeling it’s safer there, because that’s what we know. So even if we do rack up accomplishments and succeed, we feel worse, believing we don’t deserve it, so we sabotage our success and keep ourselves from moving forward.
We may also set trap doors for ourselves as a way to feel in control. When we try new things for the first time, or set new behavior patterns we weren’t practicing before it can feel like we’re spinning out of control, we’re in unfamiliar territory, and if we’re feeling unworthy on top of feeling like we’re not sure what’s coming next our need to control can take over and sabotage the good we’re doing.
If we’re lacking in self-confidence as we walk our new path we may feel like a fraud as we gain success, we may feel like we may be found at as not deserving, not talented enough, and not worthy of the place we find ourselves. We may feel that if we’re found out sooner than later, we have a shorter distance to fall, so why not pull the rug out now and save ourselves some pain of a fall later.
There can be many reasons why we leave trap doors for ourselves and get in the way the of our own success, but at the root of the problem is owning our own self-worth, believing that we deserve good things and deserve to succeed in what we are working for, without that we will continue to believe that we don’t deserve to be in the winner’s circle and we will continue to get in our own way. When we stand tall, take contrary action, doing what’s good even when we may doubt we deserve it, taking the compliment, humbly, even though we may not feel it, and accepting the success, even when we may not feel we deserve it, something happens, something changes, the good starts to come in, little by little, we start to live in a place of yes, a place that allows us to grow, to succeed, to win, and, we start to believe we deserve to be there. Step around those traps doors, even better, dance around them, and stand firm in who you are, what you offer, and what you believe, stand tall and allow yourself to be your best you, and continue to work towards what you want. You have the power to make your dreams come true, just make sure you step out of your own way so you can find them. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you set trap doors for yourself? Why do you think you do this? How do you think it hurts you? Why do you think you don’t deserve to have success in your life? What if you believed you should? What if you could? What steps could you take to allow yourself the freedom of allowing success or good things in our life? Write them down. When you find yourself in a place of self-doubt, or self-sabotage, look at that list SLAYER, read it out loud, and stop yourself from getting in our own way and believe that you deserve all the things that want for yourself. Get to work SLAYER, dream, believe, achieve.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The closer we get to get to being who we are meant to be…the brighter we shine.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When old patterns are broken, new solutions can be found.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Breaking The Cycle
Just because it’s the way you’ve been taught, or it’s the way it’s always been done, doesn’t mean you can’t break the cycle. Most of the time we are taught a way to do things, or a set of rules are put in place, as children, how of to navigate our way through life, whether these things are specifically taught to us or we’ve picked them up from those around us, typically they are passed down from generation to generation as to what is acceptable behavior. As children we don’t realize that those older than us are just passing down, or showing us by example, what was passed down to them. We accept these practices or examples as the truth, as the best way to behave, or communicate, or way to have relationships. Sometimes these examples, or the perceptions we have gotten, are not healthy and we carry them with us into adulthood thinking that’s the way it should be, doomed to pass them down to our children or a younger generation to continue the cycle. But we have a choice to stop that pattern.
When we find ourselves unhappy, or in relationships that don’t satisfy us, or disrespect us, we have the power to change that. As adults, we get to decide how we move about this world and how and what is acceptable behavior from those around us. For me, I was a sensitive child, but I kept everything bottled up, never expressing how I truly felt, and then in my teens, looking to find that voice, I would act out, finding a voice that I thought expressed the real me, but with a dash, or two, of rebellion thrown in. As I grew into adulthood that voice got quiet again, and I began to stuff down my feelings and found ways to numb my thoughts, just wanting to get by without too many questions. In all of those scenarios my true voice was never heard, there may have been traces of it in among my ramblings, but I was trying to make sense of what I was seeing and hearing without ever having a true conversation about it. Consequently many of my relationships suffered, as did I.
We get to decide who we are and how we conduct ourselves today, and if something isn’t working, we have the power to change that, to make things work for us, to ask those in our lives to honor who we are and to interact with us in a way that is in line with that, we also have the power to not engage with those who like to provoke us, who may tear us down, or who may take advantage us. It’s that destructive behavior, ours, and how we respond to others, we can change. And even thought it may be the way it’s been done for generations and generations, in no way did you sign a contract to say you would continue that bad behavior, you can stop it at any time. I know for myself, when I found a better way, a way that was in line with my path in the light I was able to practice making better choices for myself, and when I began to do that a weight was lifted off of me, I stood taller, I began to have pride in who I was, and I learned to find my own voice. For me, that came as a result of therapy, surrounding myself with like-minded people, and, a lot of practice, and soon that new way began to feel less foreign and so good that the old way didn’t seem appealing anymore. My relationships got stronger, I made better decisions about who I let in my life, and I used my voice to share my true self. I broke the cycle. And so can you.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you ever ask yourself why you do the things you do, or do you just continue to do them because that’s what you’ve been taught? What behaviors or relationships do you engage in that don’t make you feel good, or don’t honor who you are working to be? Why do you continue to do what you’ve always done when you’re working to be your authentic self and those old behaviors don’t honor that? What can you do to change those behaviors or relationships? Make sure that you are not just following the cycle or path of those who came before you, if something doesn’t feel right then it might not be right for you, if a relationship always results in the same frustrating destination, how can you change to make it a healthier relationship for you? We don’t owe anyone anything except to be our authentic selves, so if you keep finding yourself in a place that doesn’t honor you, use your power to change it. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
