change

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is power in the pause.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Freedom To Pauseuntil then… SLAY on!

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Breathe.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Press Pause

Not Making A Decision Is Making A Decision

All to often we feel pressured to make a decision, whether that pressure is coming from someone else, or we’re putting it on ourselves. I’ve mentioned before that life is not a game show, we don’t get bonus points for the fastest reactions or decisions, and yet, many, times we quickly make a decision and then wish he hadn’t later on.

It took me some time to loosen my decision making trigger finger. I had always prided myself on my fast reaction times and my ability to take action quickly, but my reactions in the moment at times were clouded by the feeling of urgency I had to act fast, and also by not giving myself enough time to learn all the facts before jumping in with both feet. I had to learn to pause, and I had to realize that making that decision to wait, and to not make a quick decision, was a decision. I used to think that anyone who didn’t move quickly was lazy, or indecisive, and, there may have been some that there, but as I learned to practice to pause I realized how much better a decision that was than to rush into something. Now, there are those who can use that to stall or procrastinate, so it does take being honest with yourself to know what the true nature of your pause is, but when done right it can drastically change the situations you find ourselves in.

When I rushed into things I often found myself in situations I really didn’t want to be in, or like, because I hadn’t taken the time to investigate exactly what I was deciding to do and what the result would, or could be. I also, many, times hadn’t asked myself, what I wanted out of making that decision, often I made decisions based on what they looked like to the outside world, or what I wanted out of it, but I never really thought about who I was or what I wanted in the long-run, usually, I just wanted to win, or, whatever my perceived idea of winning was. It wasn’t until I developed a relationship with myself, asking myself who I truly was, what I wanted, and what principles I was willing to live by that my decisions, and their reply time, started to change. I realized that, many times, I did need to do some further investigation before saying yes, or agreeing to be a part of something, and, there was nothing wrong with that. I started to care if a decision was ultimately going to make me feel bad, or derail me from this path I was working so hard to stay on, a path of well-being, of empowerment and self-love and care. All of my decisions had to reflect the person I was learning to be, the person I was proud to be, and the person I would like to be moving forward. That, was enough to slow me down. And, as I did, I started to trust myself more, after a lifetime of some bad decisions, making some new good ones allowed me to trust my judgment and myself to do the right thing for myself in that moment. And, that was another thing I had to learn, to not put so much weight on making the wrong decision because I was trying to second guess what someone else may do, or try to guess what the future may bring, I had to learn to take the information I had in front of me, right in the moment, check my ego at the door and ask others I trusted for input if I still felt unsure, and then make the best decision I could at that time. Whatever may come after that I would deal with then. That’s all any of us can really do.

When we feel pressured or rushed to make a decision often we make the wrong one. If you’re someone who often makes quick decisions in the moment, perhaps the best decision you can make is not making one in that moment, and take the time to give it some thought and look for direction. There’s no shame in saying you need some time, in fact, that may be the best decision of all. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often weigh your options before making a decision, or quickly jump to take action? How had this helped you? How has this hurt you? Write down an example of a time when you made a decision too quickly and then regretted it later? If you had taken more time, how would that affected your decision? Why do you think you are quick to make decisions? What can you do to slow yourself down? No one can tell you what’s right for you except you, take the time you need to make decisions that will align with who you are and where you want to go.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Large things are made up of many small things. Celebrate the small things.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Celebrate Life

Every Little Thing Should Be Celebrated

We often save our celebrations for big events, or accomplishments, but what about those every day victories that get us to those big celebrations? Every day is worth celebrating, heck, most of us have made it through some pretty treacherous waters to get where we are right now, I know I have, and yet, sometimes we forget to celebrate how far we’ve come, how our day-to-day choices, decisions, or our overall mindset has changed for the better. We tend to focus on those big changes or life events instead of those little shifts each day. Many times we dismiss our hard work, or downplay what we have accomplished, never acknowledging ourselves for a job well done. It takes a lot to even recognize we need a change many times, let alone actually making them.

When I made the decision to change my life for the better most of what I had been doing to get by, and the way I had been living my life, had to be changed. That seemed really daunting, and scary. I, in the past, was someone who didn’t like change, and at times, when things were changing around me, beyond my control, I had turned to behaviors that ultimately harmed myself to cope with the feeling that my life was out of control. So, to set forth knowing I was embarking on an unknown path that was going to require me to change almost everything took some courage, but I had to trust I had been led to the path ahead for a reason and I had to trust that those I was walking with were going to help me and walk with me into this foreign land. I was encouraged to celebrate the little things, which, for me, back then, weren’t little, but even just the fact that I woke up, that I put a new routine in place that was in support of good mental health and a spiritual practice, and that I had stopped leaning on old habits that were harming me just to get by. Each day was a celebration because I had made it through, I had come from a place of wanting to die each day, so just waking up and looking forward to the day ahead was always something to celebrate, even if it was a difficult day, it was still better than where I had come from. But focusing on the victories, small or large, helped me to keep going, and it started to build my self-esteem. It also gave me a connection to others who were on a similar path, and I learned to celebrate their victories as well, sometimes even more than my own, because I knew how hard they were working and how tough the road could be. I learned compassion through taking an interest in others, and encouraging them to keep going as I celebrated along with them. Life started to look different, and instead of it being a series of horrible events, or punishment, it became full of celebrations, for me, and those around me.

We often set parameters in our lives for what we think is worthy of celebrating, and often we set those parameters higher for ourselves than those around us. What if we looked for all the ways we can celebrate ourselves today? What if we focused on our wins and not our losses? Why don’t we look at all the ways we deserve to be celebrated today, and share that joy with others as they celebrate themselves, or, perhaps, inspire them to celebrate their own. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you celebrate the smaller moments in your life, acknowledging how far you’ve come or how hard you’ve worked? If yes, how do you do that? If no, why not? Do you set the bar high for what you deem important enough to celebrate? What is worthy of celebration in your life? When was the last time you celebrated you? How can you do that more? What can you celebrate in your life today? How can you do that? Each time we walk through something we struggle with, each time we make a positive change in our life, or a positive thought replaces a negative one, each time we step out of our comfort zone and reach for something new we should celebrate. Maybe there’s a celebration just for reading this today and considering it, it starts with one small step, but that step could change the rest of your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Your body hears everything your mind thinks.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Pinky Your Body

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! There’s no weight limit on beauty.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Blue Fat

Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

It was in my teens that I first remember turning against my body.

I had been a thin, athletic kid, comfortable in my skin — and then things started to change. My body began doing things I didn’t understand and didn’t want. It started drawing attention I didn’t ask for. And instead of curiosity, I felt betrayal.

I felt like my body had turned on me.

I already carried discomfort inside myself — parts of who I was that I kept hidden — and when my body began changing, it only amplified that discomfort. I started comparing myself to everyone around me. Measuring myself against them. Finding myself lacking in every direction.

Nothing ever felt good enough.

And that’s when the spiral began — not in my body, but in my mind.

My mind started bullying my body.

When Control Becomes the Goal

Looking back now, I can see it clearly.

What I was really afraid of wasn’t my body — it was not being in control.

There were so many things in my life I felt powerless over, and my changing body felt like the final betrayal. So I did what I thought would give me control back.

I tried to stop it.
Manipulate it.
Shrink it.
Silence it.

That path led to an eating disorder — one I was lucky to recover from.

It took years to heal. Years to rebuild trust with food. Years to rebuild trust with my body. And even now, there are still days I have to stay conscious and accountable with my thinking.

What makes me sad looking back isn’t my body — it’s the hatred I had for myself.

There was never anything wrong with my body.

The Voice Was the Real Problem

I see now that the damage wasn’t physical — it was mental.

The voice in my head was cruel.
Relentless.
Unforgiving.

The more I hated myself, the louder it got.

I wanted to disappear into the crowd.
Blend in.
Not be noticed.
Not be questioned.

So I tried to control myself into invisibility.

That voice told me I was the problem.
That my body was the problem.
That I had to fix it to be acceptable.

But the truth is: my body was never the enemy.

My mind was.

Learning a New Relationship

Today, I appreciate my body.

Not because it looks a certain way —
but because of what it does for me.

It carries me.
It heals.
It protects.
It supports my life.

And while I still have days where old thoughts creep in — because healing isn’t linear — I no longer live in war with myself.

I no longer punish my body for existing.

I no longer try to control it out of fear.

I no longer define my worth by how it looks.

Health Without Hate

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthy.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel strong.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to care for your body.

But when self care is driven by self hatred, it becomes harm.

We are not meant to all look the same.
We are not meant to fit one mold.
We are not meant to match one standard.

Different shapes.
Different sizes.
Different structures.
Different beauty.

Every body is valid.

Changing the Relationship, Not the Reflection

Healing doesn’t start in the mirror.

It starts in the mind.

In how we speak to ourselves.
In how we interpret our reflection.
In how we define worth.
In how we measure value.

Your body doesn’t need to be fixed.
It needs to be respected.

Your Body Is Not the Problem

Your body is not your failure.
Your body is not your enemy.
Your body is not your shame.

It’s your home.

And it deserves compassion — not cruelty.

Care — not control.
Respect — not punishment.
Safety — not shame.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

S: What negative thoughts do you carry about your body?
L: Where did those beliefs come from?
A: What would change if you spoke to your body with compassion instead of criticism?
Y: How can you start practicing care instead of control today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What is one way you can start treating your body with more kindness today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who struggles with body shame, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes you face difficulties not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you are doing something right.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Find The Signs

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Everything you don’t know is something you can learn.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

state-of-slay Master Peace