Mental Health

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Those mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

Not Alone

The Perceived Danger Of Loneliness

There’s a reason loneliness can feel like danger.

Centuries ago, being alone was a legitimate threat. If you were separated from your tribe, you were more vulnerable to predators and physical harm. That primal instinct still lives in us today—so when loneliness creeps in, it doesn’t always just feel sad. It can feel scary. Like we’re under attack. Like we’re in danger.

But the truth is, in most cases today, that danger is no longer external—it’s internal. And that’s why it can be so hard to recognize and even harder to break free from.

Loneliness Isn’t Just Isolation—It’s Fear

When I was living in the dark, I felt completely alone. And I did feel like I was in danger. The danger of being found out. The danger of being consumed by depression. The danger of not making it out alive. My thoughts became a battlefield, and my body was constantly in survival mode—tight, tense, panicked.

Some of that fear was justified. I was making choices that weren’t safe. But much of it was perceived—fed by my mindset and fueled by the lies I told myself about who I was and what I deserved.

And the lonelier I felt, the more danger I imagined. I convinced myself I was better off alone. That no one would understand. That I didn’t belong.
But that wasn’t true. That was just the fear talking.

The Way Out Is Connection

The moment things began to change was the moment I heard someone else’s story. Someone who had been where I was. Someone who understood the darkness. That tiny moment of connection cracked something open in me—and I found the courage to ask for help.

That help came in the form of community. Of people who weren’t perfect, but who were honest. Who shared their truths. Who didn’t try to fix me, but simply walked with me.

And that’s when the perceived danger began to dissolve. Because I wasn’t doing it alone anymore. I wasn’t in survival mode—I was in connection mode.
And connection, not isolation, is where healing begins.

You’re Not Alone (Even When It Feels Like You Are)

We are never as alone as we think we are. Even in our darkest moments. There is always someone out there who will understand—because they’ve been there too.

And when we share our truth, it connects us. It takes away the power of fear.
When we speak our loneliness out loud, we remind ourselves that we are human—and we give someone else permission to do the same.

You don’t have to suffer in silence. You don’t have to go it alone.
There is always a hand to reach for—and a voice waiting to say, “Me too.”

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Do you associate loneliness with danger? And what does that danger feel like?

  • What thoughts or fears come up when you’re feeling lonely?

  • Do you tend to isolate or reach out?

  • Who can you confide in—right now, today?

  • Are you filling your loneliness with distractions or connection?

  • What’s one step you can take to reach out and remind yourself you are not alone?

Connection is the antidote to fear. And vulnerability is the path to healing.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What has helped you move through loneliness into connection?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling in silence, send this to them.
Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is remind someone they’re not alone.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your life only gets better when you do. Work on yourself, the rest will follow.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Doing The Work

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Today is yesterday’s effect and tomorrow’s cause.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Different Life

How We Live Today Is What Will Determine Tomorrow

It’s a conversation I keep returning to—both personally and globally.

As the world continues to recalibrate, we’ve been given a rare invitation: to pause, reflect, and ask ourselves what do I want my life to look like on the other side of this? Many of us are eager to return to “normal,” but it’s worth asking—was normal really working?

When so many distractions fell away, we were left with the truth of our lives. The patterns we’d been avoiding. The cracks in our foundations. The parts we loved—and the parts we were merely surviving. Like any breakdown, there’s always a breakthrough waiting on the other side… if we’re willing to do the work.

Building a Better Tomorrow Starts Now

When I first stepped into recovery, I had to rebuild my life from the ground up. It was terrifying. The old ways—my habits, my thinking, the comforts I clung to—felt safer than the unknown. But I knew they were keeping me sick. I couldn’t build anything new while holding onto what was breaking me.

So I started small. I laid one brick at a time. I let go of what no longer served me, even when it was uncomfortable. I reminded myself that I wouldn’t get everything right—and that was okay. Each day was a step toward something stronger. Even my mistakes became blueprints for something better.

I began to understand that how I live today is what determines my tomorrow. And that realization changed everything.

This Is a Chance to Reimagine

This pause we’ve been given? It’s a gift. A chance to slow down and evaluate what truly matters. It’s not just about personal change—it’s about collective change. As we rebuild our lives, we have a powerful opportunity to decide who we want to be, how we want to live, and what kind of world we want to create.

The moments that have stood out to me most during this time aren’t the news updates or daily routines—they’re the simple acts of kindness, the community support, the honest conversations, and the reminders that we’re not alone.

We’ve seen what matters. Let’s not forget it.

Today Shapes Everything

What we choose today—how we love, how we show up, how we take care of ourselves and others—sets the tone for tomorrow. We get to decide what we keep, what we release, and what we build next.

Lay your foundation with care. Fill the cracks with truth. Strengthen your spirit with willingness and action. That’s how we grow something solid. Something beautiful. Something that lasts.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rebuild

  • Have you used this time to evaluate your life with honesty?

  • What habits, people, or patterns do you want to leave behind?

  • What priorities have shifted for you—and why?

  • What healthy changes have felt good? What distractions are you ready to release?

  • What can you start doing today to lay a stronger foundation for the life you want tomorrow?

This moment is a powerful opportunity to build something new.
Lay it down with intention.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve made—or are ready to make—to build a better tomorrow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s navigating change right now, send this their way.
Sometimes, we just need to know we’re not doing it alone.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Expecting things to change without putting in the effort is like waiting for a ship at the airport.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Change Results

Are You Disappointed With The Results Of The Work You Didn’t Do?

It’s easy to feel disappointed when things don’t work out the way we’d hoped. But here’s the hard truth: sometimes we’re disappointed not because life let us down, but because we didn’t show up and do the work. We wanted the results, but skipped the steps it takes to earn them.

I know this because I lived it. For years, I clung to magical thinking—believing that somehow, some way, the good things I wanted would just appear. I thought if I wished hard enough or hoped long enough, the change I needed would show up without me having to actually do anything different.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Wishing Isn’t Working

Looking back, I realize how much time I wasted waiting for something to happen instead of making something happen. I was stuck in the cycle of perfectionism and low self-worth—telling myself there was no point in trying if I couldn’t do it perfectly, or that I wasn’t worthy of the outcome anyway. So I stayed stuck, watching others get the results I wanted while doing nothing to change my own situation.

Scrolling through social media didn’t help. I saw people thriving, hitting milestones, sharing wins. And I wanted that. But instead of getting inspired, I got resentful. Why not me?

The truth: I hadn’t done the work. They had.

The Shift Begins with a Step

It took hitting a true bottom—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—for me to finally reach out and ask for help. I didn’t know what the path looked like, and I didn’t need to. I just had to take the first step. That single act—picking up the phone and admitting I needed support—set everything into motion.

As I walked this new path, I started to do the work. And the results came. Slowly at first, but with each effort, my life began to change. The more I invested in myself, the more I believed I was worthy of what I was building. And that belief—that self-worth—became the true result of the work I was doing.

Results Take Action

No one can do this for you. Not your friends, not your partner, not your mentor. The transformation starts with you. It might feel overwhelming to imagine all the work it takes to change your life, but you don’t have to do it all at once. You only have to do what’s in front of you. One step, one moment, one decision at a time.

Doing the work shifts your mindset. It silences the doubts and empowers you to keep going. Even when the results aren’t immediate or perfect, the effort is building something better. Something sustainable. Something real.

If you want change, you have to move. Wishful thinking might feel comfortable, but real change requires real effort. The work is where the transformation happens.

So ask yourself: Are you ready to stop hoping for results and start working for them?

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Time to Get Honest

  • Do you expect results from work you haven’t done?

  • Have you used magical thinking to justify inaction? How has that worked for you?

  • Can you remember a time when hard work led to a positive result? How did that feel?

  • What first step can you take today toward a goal you’ve been avoiding?

  • How might your life change if you committed to action instead of waiting for a miracle?

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to start.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve been hoping would change without putting in the work? And what’s one step you can take today to shift that?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the wishing phase, send this to them.
Sometimes, we just need a reminder that we already have what it takes.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! A good example has twice the value of good advice.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Story End

Are You A Shining Example Or A Dire Warning?

There was a time when I would have called myself a dire warning—not just to others, but to myself. I was the cautionary tale. The one who looked fine on the outside but was falling apart inside. I lived in a cycle of self-sabotage, denial, and fear, making poor choices—or worse, making no choices at all—and then wondering why things didn’t change.

But here’s the truth: we all have a choice. At any moment, we can decide to be a shining example instead of a dire warning. And that choice? It changes everything.

The Warning Signs Were Me

When I was living in the dark, I didn’t believe I had options. I told myself I was strong, that I didn’t need help. But the truth was, I was drowning. I was clinging to patterns that were destroying me, too loyal to my own pain and too stubborn to let go. My relationships suffered, my joy faded, and my hope all but disappeared.

And still, I looked down on those I thought were weak—never realizing that true strength isn’t in pretending you’re fine. It’s in admitting you’re not.

It wasn’t until someone else showed me what it looked like to live differently—to step into the light—that I began to believe it was possible. They didn’t lecture me. They simply lived in a way that made me want what they had. They were a shining example, and I wanted to become one too.

Turning Toward the Light

The moment I chose change, a tiny flicker of light appeared. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. I picked up the phone. I asked for help. I started doing the work. And slowly—so slowly at first—that flicker began to grow.

I surrounded myself with people who inspired me. People who had walked through the darkness and come out shining. They didn’t have perfect lives, but they had something real—something I wanted. And being around their light helped me ignite my own.

The more I leaned into that light, the more I began to change. My relationships shifted. My inner dialogue softened. People who used to worry about me now cheered me on. And I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, I could be that beacon for someone else.

Light Is Contagious

We get to decide who we want to be. Every day. With every choice. You don’t have to stay stuck. You’re not bound to your past. If you’ve been a dire warning, you can become a shining example. All it takes is a spark—a moment of hope, a tiny act of courage, a willingness to believe that you’re worthy of the light.

And when you do that, you don’t just transform your own life. You light the way for someone else.

So ask yourself: Which story are you telling with your life?

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Spark Your Truth

  • Do you feel like a shining example or a dire warning right now?

  • If you’re not where you want to be, what choice can you make today to move closer to the light?

  • Have you been both in your life? What shifted?

  • Who in your life is a shining example? What can you learn from them?

  • How can you be a spark for someone else?

You don’t need to be perfect to shine. You just need to be real—and ready.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you can make today to step out of the shadows and into the light?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in their dark chapter, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is someone to show us the way.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Patience is the acceptance that things can happen in a different order than what you had in mind.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Patient Heart