Nothing Fear-Based Is Real

Fear is a liar—but it’s a convincing one. I didn’t always know I was living in fear. In fact, for most of my life, I thought I was just being careful. But when I finally got honest with myself, I realized every decision I made was rooted in fear—fear of not being enough, fear of losing what I had, fear of being judged, fear of being alone.

And none of it was real.


Fear Doesn’t Live in the Present

Fear loves to play in the shadows of the past and the “what ifs” of the future. But when we ground ourselves in this moment, we realize that most of the things we’re afraid of? Aren’t actually happening.

When I finally started to live in the present, my fears—those loud, relentless voices—quieted down. They didn’t vanish overnight, but they lost their grip. Fear thrives on secrecy and silence. When I finally opened up about my truth, I wasn’t met with rejection. I was met with compassion. That was the moment I learned that fear’s power depended entirely on my willingness to believe it.


When You Speak the Truth, Fear Loses Its Voice

Fear told me that if I shared what I was going through, people would walk away. That I’d be labeled “crazy.” That no one would understand. And for a long time, I believed it.

But the moment I found the courage to speak up, something miraculous happened: no one ran. Instead, they leaned in. They listened. They helped. And in that moment, I realized: my fear had been lying to me all along.

Fear is cunning. It will dress up as protection. It will whisper old stories from the past and pretend they still apply. But when we act in contrary motion—when we move forward anyway—we take our power back.


Feel the Fear, Then Do It Anyway

Fear still shows up in my life, but now I know to ask:

  • Is this fear true right now?
  • Is this fear based on fact or just feeling?
  • Am I responding to reality or a recycled lie?

I’ve learned to breathe, to pause, and to stay present. And when fear tries to get loud again, I remind myself: “Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

That’s not just a quote—it’s a truth I’ve lived.


The Power to Break Free Has Always Been Yours

There’s a difference between the fear that keeps us safe and the fear that keeps us small. The latter is what robs us of opportunity, connection, and joy. And here’s the truth: you are not powerless against it.

The more you speak your truth, the weaker fear becomes. And the more you move in spite of fear, the stronger you become. So today, choose truth over fear. Choose growth over comfort. Choose you.

Fear may knock, but it doesn’t get to live here anymore.

SLAY on.


SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you let fear control your life or stop you from going after what you want?
  2. What past situations did fear prevent you from experiencing fully?
  3. Can you identify a recent moment where fear held you back? How could you respond differently next time?
  4. When have you done something despite fear? How did that make you feel?
  5. If fear wasn’t in the driver’s seat, what would you pursue today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • See fear for what it is—a story, not a sentence.
  • Let yourself feel it, but don’t let it lead.
  • Act in spite of it.
  • You get to reclaim the pen and write a new ending.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fear you’re ready to stop believing in today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s letting fear write their story, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Slay

Good morning SLAYER! We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Think Without Acting

It Starts In Our Thoughts

I used to believe my biggest problem was everything outside of me. The people. The situations. The pain I carried. But when I got still—really still—I realized something that rocked me to my core: my real issue was my thinking.

That truth was a hard pill to swallow. I saw myself as smart, self-sufficient, capable. So to admit that my own mind was the source of my suffering? That was humbling. But it was also the key to my healing.


When Your Mind Becomes the Battlefield

For years, I tried to fix my life with outside solutions. Food, alcohol, work, relationships—anything to distract or numb the noise in my head. But no matter what I used, the chaos always came back.

Because the problem wasn’t what was around me. The problem was what was going on inside me.

My thinking had become a bully, one that convinced me I was broken, unworthy, and doomed to stay that way. And the more I listened, the more I suffered.


Admitting the Truth (and Taking Back My Power)

The turning point came when I hit my emotional and spiritual bottom. I had to face the truth: My best thinking had gotten me here.

So I stopped trying to outthink the pain, and I started getting help. Recovery work. Support groups. Therapy. People who understood this path and weren’t afraid to tell the truth. The more I shared, the less power my thoughts had over me.

I began learning new tools—meditation, reframing, gratitude. I started asking for perspective instead of assuming my perspective was fact. And I promised myself I would stay teachable, because the moment I think I know it all? That’s when I’m in trouble.


Watch Your Thoughts—They Become Your Reality

Our thoughts shape our perception. And our perception shapes our choices. If your thoughts are rooted in shame, fear, or scarcity, your life will reflect that.

But when you begin to challenge those thoughts, you shift your reality.

Today, I ask myself:

  • Is this thought true, or just familiar?
  • Is it coming from love or fear?
  • Does this thought serve the version of me I’m becoming?

You don’t have to believe everything you think. And you don’t have to let your mind run the show.


You Can Rewrite the Story

If your thoughts have been taking you down, know this: you can take back the pen. You are not your thoughts. You are the one witnessing them.

With support, honesty, and consistency, you can rewire your mind. You can heal what once felt permanent. And you can choose thoughts that empower rather than destroy.

Don’t let your thoughts bully you out of the life you’re here to live. Shine a light on them. Bring them into the open. Then take one brave step in a new direction.

SLAY on.


SLAY Reflection

  1. When has your thinking gotten you into trouble?
  2. What are the recurring negative thoughts you notice most often?
  3. Have you ever challenged a thought and discovered it wasn’t true?
  4. What tools help you shift into a more positive mindset?
  5. What’s one belief you’re ready to release today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • See your thoughts clearly and call them out.
  • Let go of the need to control them all—just notice.
  • Ask for support and seek out truth-tellers.
  • You are not your thoughts—you are your healing.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What thought are you ready to stop believing today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a negative thought loop, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! We cannot change the past but we can start a new chapter.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay New Start Happy Ending

Make Your Own Happy Ending

When we are kids, and I think especially us little girls, we dream of a happy ending for ourselves. I know for myself as a kid I lived a lot in my head and found fantasy much more appealing than reality, and sometimes I still do, so I dreamed up many happy ending scenarios for myself, never really knowing if I could really have one. As my life got complicated with mental illness that happy ending seemed far from reach as I struggled just to get by with daily life and the vicious cycle I found myself in. The path I was on was going to lead to anything but a happy ending if I didn’t make some changes.

Hitting my emotional and spiritual bottom got me to a place where I was desperate enough to ask for help, that action opened the door to my freedom from self. As I began to walk the path of recovery and make the necessary changes to live a healthy and happy life I began to realize that I had the power to make decisions and take action to bring me to a place where I could find my own happy ending. I wasn’t sure what that would be exactly, but I was also told I didn’t need to figure that out and take it one day at a time making each day the best I could. As I began to love and forgive myself those dark days of my past lessened I started to let myself believe in a happy ending for myself again, but I also allowed there to be room for a happy ending that may not be what I had previously planned out. See, on this path I have discovered that I most definitely don’t know everything, and that what I can imagine as the best happy ending may actually be short-changing myself because there may be something better or more suited to me that I haven’t even thought of. What I do know is what I’ve experienced and learned on my journey and what I am responsible for is doing what’s in front of my hands and making the next right decision, and if I am unsure of that next right decision, I know to ask someone I know and trust to share their thoughts on it based on their experience. By staying present and keeping an open mind and heart, doing the work in front of me, my path has taken me to places I never thought I would have traveled, and it has taken me to my very own happy ending, one that I may have dreamed of as a little girl but as an adult never really believed I could have. I, in turn, by doing the work, by listening to my heart instead of my head, by saying yes and trusting, having faith, and being true to myself made my own happy ending along with someone else, and, now it is our responsibility to continue to make our own happy ending every day.

Each of us has the power to make our own happy ending. That will look different for each of us, and that’s OK, because each of us is unique in our own way, what works for one doesn’t always work for the other, so no one can tell us what our happy ending is except us, and there is no wrong happy ending if it’s what fills us with joy. Get out there today and take action on making your happy ending a reality. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe there is a happy ending out there waiting for you? If not, why not? Did you ever believe there was? What changed? What does your happy ending look like? Or, do you not know? There’s no shame in not knowing, that just means you have an exciting path of discovery in front of you with a blank slate. When we take the action each day that fills our souls with love we begin to see that happy ending form in front of us, we begin to believe we deserve it and we begin to walk towards it. Find your happy ending and make it happen.

S – self  L – love  A – appreciate  Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Boredom is the despairing refusal to be oneself.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Boredom

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Fear the boredom that comes with not learning and taking chances.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay True Self

If You Wake Up Bored It’s Your Fault

When I was living in the dark, I would often say I was bored. I would say it like life owed it to me to entertain me. But without putting in any effort myself, I continued to live in a repetitious pattern that only had me spiral down deeper into despair. Life didn’t owe me anything, I owed it to myself to get out there and engage with life.

When I began my journey in recovery, I realized that I had never really thought about, or asked myself, what I truly liked, and most of my life I had just done what I thought I should do, or what I thought looked good from the outside. I had to start with a clean slate. That, at first, seemed daunting, but once I began to look at it as something exciting, something to discover, it turned into something fun I could explore. I started my journey with ‘the year of yes,’ as I called it, I would do my best to say yes to anything, as long as it was healthy for me, that I hadn’t tried before, and it opened the door to new friendships and experiences with newfound friends I found on this same path. Again, a little scary for me coming from a place of isolation but isolating only left me lonely and alone with my disease, so I acknowledged how I felt but off I went on this new adventure! The deal I made with myself was that I only had to try new a thing once, if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to do it again, but in just saying yes, my world opened up and so did my friend circle. Saying yes never had me bored, because even if I found myself in a situation I wasn’t fond of I was learning from that situation, and, I would challenge myself to look for something positive that I could take from that situation. If I had said yes reluctantly, I would ask the universe to surprise me, and I was, many times, surprised by what I found in those situations I had already condemned in my mind before they had already begun. When I was willing to have an open mind and dive into life, life did give back, two or three-fold, and, I discovered a lot about who I was and what I liked. Saying yes eventually led me to write this blog, something I never thought would have been possible sitting alone in the dark, and, saying yes eventually led me to share my life with someone who teaches me more about myself and what I love every day. Saying yes is the key to boredom.

It is our job to remedy our boredom, it is no one else’s, nor is it owed to us. Like with most things, it is our job to take action, and if we’re able to make that task fun for ourselves, and adventure as I did, we set ourselves up to break free from the walls we had previously built for ourselves and allow new people, places and things in. Still sounds scary? There is some trust that comes into play with this way of life, trust that when we let the universe know what we are doing, what our intentions are and that we are willing to grow that it will present us with opportunities to do just that. I still, 14 years later, continue to say yes to life and my life keeps getting bigger as a result. I never wake up today and think about being bored, there’s far too much to do and see to make time for boredom.

Get out there and engage with life. Each day we have endless possibilities and choices, what if you started saying yes instead of saying I’m bored? SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often say that you are bored or have in the past? If you still do, why do you think you are feeling that way? Are you open to new experiences in your life? If you complained of boredom in the past, what changed? What do you do today that keeps boredom at bay? Can you be doing more? Do you keep yourself open to new ideas and situations? If not, why not? What has saying yes brought to your life that you would have otherwise not gotten? Can you be saying yes more than you are? What can you say yes to today? Change and new things can be scary, but staying stuck where we are and not reaching our true potential is much scarier than that.

S – self  L – love  A – appreciate  Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our job is to keep our side of the street clean, not to point out the trash on the other side.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Unsatisfied Lives

Non-Interference

Each individual soul is destined to complete a certain mission on their journey. Each of us should be allowed to pursue that destiny without being interfered with, but, that is not always the case. Many times we encountered people who feel they know better and try to instruct us or egoistically assume it is their job to direct our path and try to force us in a direction that they see fit. That is not their job, and it is ours to not let them.

Our pursuits and the path we choose to walk are necessary for our growth, and even though someone trying to take over and run our lives may also be necessary for our growth, as we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn the value of our self-worth, it is no one’s job, but our own to do the work that is meant for us. I’ve been encountering this for several months now with someone who had come forward to allegedly help with a situation. Their kind generosity was welcomed and a course of action set to move things forward. But as we found, what seemed like the solution we had all talked about, the interference began, and suddenly, that generosity came with conditions that were not shared initially. As an adult who has overcome a lot in my life, to arrive at a place of self-love, self-worth and self-care, things finally came to a head yesterday and plug was pulled, and probably should have been many months prior, but wanting to believe that this person had truly good intentions at heart, and wanting to find compassion for things that may be going on in their life and may be affecting their judgment, the interference went on far longer than it should have.

It amazes me the lengths people will go to hide their own indiscretions, the lengths they’ll go to justify their bad behavior and the lengths they’ll go to try to control something out of their own fear and mistakes of their past when it’s not their place to step in. Part of our journey is to stop that behavior in our lives, to not let anyone interfere with our intended journey and reason for being here. We each have our own path to walk and we need to protect what is most important, not our possessions, but our mind and spirit.

Today I start with a clean slate and wash away the events of past few months, and I am reminded, once again, to believe people when they show me who they are, I can’t assume that because I have changed, or may bring a different or positive energy into a certain dynamic that others will follow suit, I need to stay the course, stay on my intended journey and learn as I go, and that is no ones’ job but mine alone. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you allow others to interfere in your life? Are there people in your life who bully their way in and try to take control? What do you do to combat this? Or do you feel helpless? You are not. How has someone else’s interference taken you off course in your life? How have you gotten back on track? Have you gotten back on track? Do you realize you’ve possibly been pushed off the path you’re meant to be on? What can you do to protect yourself from inference in the future? Each of us has the ability and right to walk the path we choose to and are destined to walk, that is not for anyone to dictate or control.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you