I spent most of my life living in fear. I wasn’t aware I was living in fear but looking back all my decisions were fear-based, there was the fear of not getting what I wanted, fear of losing what I had, fear that I wasn’t good enough, thousands of forms of fear I would conjure up in my head. That fear held me back and ultimately, nearly cost me my life. But when I think about my fears, they weren’t my reality, and they weren’t threats to me in each moment, my fear was about feeling regretful of my past and projecting into the future. When I was finally able to be present, in the moment, all of those fears fell away.
We all have fear, but how much of it is real and how much of it is made up in our heads about things we have no control over or haven’t even happened yet? There is a healthy amount of fear we can have, so we don’t put ourselves into harmful situations, but what I’m talking about here is the unhealthy kind, the kind that holds us back, that prevents us from being our best selves and the kind that keeps us isolated and alone. I understand all of these kinds of fear, I used to experience them all, daily, and that fear felt so strong that I didn’t think it was something that I could overcome, until I had to. My fear kept me sick, and it told me that if I shared my truth with anyone they would label me crazy and would remove themselves from my life, my fear even went as far as to say that I would be locked up because no one would understand me. That fear seemed very real to me because I wasn’t telling anyone what I was thinking and feeling and what I had been living with, but in reality, it wasn’t real at all. When I finally found the courage to reach out, to share my truth no one backed away, no one pointed a finger at me and said I was crazy, they all asked me what they could do to help, or offered suggestions from their own experience and network of people. That fear fell away, but it would try to speak up from time to time and tell me the same old story, even when the opposite was true in my life. Fear is a very cunning enemy, it knows just what to say to get you to listen, and to shake your confidence, so it was important to me to practice contrary action, so that even when I found myself back in the grips of fear I would move forward anyway, and each time I did that, fear disappeared and I felt empowered.
Today fear still talks to me, but I have to ask myself if it’s based in truth today, in the moment, or if it is feeding off the past or something I haven’t even done yet. Breathing, staying present and living my life in an honest and healthy way, sharing my truth with those around me, keeps that fear in check, and keeps me on the path I meant to walk. When I find myself in fear before starting something new, I remind myself of the quote “fear kills more dreams than failure ever will,” and I know this to be true, it killed many of mine in the past, before I knew how to stand up to fear, so I’m not letting it kill anymore.
There is a difference between a healthy amount of fear and fear that is debilitating. Fear will rob us of the lives we dream of having and are capable of having, but only if we let it. We have power over fear, it will tell you we don’t, but the truth is, we’ve always had the power to quash it, and still do. Stomp out your fears today and claim what’s yours. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let fear control your life or stop you from going after the things you want for yourself? How has it done this in the past? What can you do to stop it from doing that? What have you tried in the past despite your fears? How did that make you feel? Have listening to your fears ever resulted in something positive? Write an example. How many things have your fears taken from you? Write down all of the times your fear stole from you. Now, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let your fear keep stealing from you, or are you going to take your power over them and claim victory over them? Tell your fears to hit the road, you’ve got things to do.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you