Patience is a skill I never had when I was living in the dark. I wanted what I wanted—and I wanted it now. If something took longer than I thought it should, I unraveled. I’d stew in my own anxiety, convinced that worrying over it somehow meant I was “doing something.” But it never helped. In fact, it only made things worse.

The reality is, I was causing myself more pain by holding on.

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Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

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Suffering Is Optional (But It Doesn’t Feel That Way)

When I started my journey toward healing, I had to face a hard truth: patience isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s powerful. It’s choosing to sit still when every part of you wants to control, manipulate, and fast-forward the process.

I was taught something simple, yet profound—do the footwork and let go. And actually let go. Not say I would, then sit in agony while pretending to surrender. That took time. It still does. But every time I allowed myself to sit in discomfort, without reacting, something shifted.

Here’s what I learned: the suffering didn’t come from the waiting—it came from the clinging.

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Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

So much of my anxiety came from the belief that I had to manage everything. I believed I had the best plan, the right answers, and the perfect timeline. But that was just my ego talking. And when I realized how wrong I’d been before—how lost and broken I felt trying to run the show—it humbled me.

I had to accept that I wasn’t the director of the universe. That my vision was limited. That maybe—just maybe—there was a bigger plan unfolding, and my job was to participate, not dictate.

That’s where the power of patience lives. Not in forcing, but in trusting. Not in pushing, but in practicing peace. And the more I practiced, the less I suffered.

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Choosing Peace Over Pressure

Let’s be honest—letting go is not easy. Especially when we care deeply about the outcome. But once we start to realize that the suffering is self-inflicted—that it’s not coming from the waiting, but how we wait—it becomes easier to breathe through it.

The truth is, when we choose to surrender, we reclaim our power.

Patience doesn’t mean inaction. It means taking the action that’s yours, and then releasing what isn’t. It means being OK with not knowing, trusting that the right things will unfold in the right time. That may feel uncomfortable at first. But comfort isn’t the goal—freedom is.

And freedom comes when we stop clinging to control and let go of the suffering we’ve been dragging around.

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SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Release

• Do you try to force outcomes instead of letting things unfold?
• What’s the cost of that tension—emotionally, mentally, physically?
• How do you feel when you’re able to truly let go?
• What fear is keeping you in the suffering?
• What step can you take today to release control and choose peace?

Suffering shows us where we’re clinging. Let it be your invitation to let go.

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Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding on instead of letting go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to sit in the waiting, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to pause.