resilience

You Have To Be At Your Strongest When You Are At Your Weakest

It may sound impossible at times, but in those moments when we feel our weakest, we must dig deep and find our strength.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve had to rely on an inner strength I didn’t even realize I had. Somehow, just enough rose to the surface to help me push through.

We are all stronger than we think.
And when I take a moment to reflect on everything I’ve overcome, I’m reminded of the strength and courage that carried me.
It helps me in the present.
It prepares me for the future.
Because true strength often reveals itself when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

The Sword May Feel Heavy—But It’s Still There

Looking back on my lowest points, I can admit—I didn’t always use my strength.

There were times I believed I was weak.
Times I gave in to the idea that I was broken or not worth saving.
I had flickers of power, brief moments of energy and clarity, but they’d fade. And that negative voice in my head? It would rush in, louder than ever.

That inner strength—the warrior in me—it was there.
But some days, that sword felt too heavy to lift.

There was one day in particular when I came dangerously close to surrendering.
I was at my lowest. But even then, there was a whisper of strength left inside me.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t flashy.
But it was just strong enough to reach out, to ask for help, to cry for help.
And that moment changed everything.

That quiet strength was enough to rally.
Enough to begin my fight back.

What Strength Really Looks Like

For me, strength isn’t about pushing through everything without feeling.
It’s about showing up—even when it’s hard.

My strength lives in the inner warrior that walks beside me.
It’s the part of me that shields the most vulnerable parts inside.

My strength is spiritual.
It’s rooted in a connection to something greater than myself—a belief that I’m held, even when I’m hurting.

It’s also built from experience:

  • Everything I’ve survived
  • Every fight I’ve fought
  • Every story I’ve shared and heard from others walking similar paths

I also surround myself with people who reflect that strength back to me.
People who remind me who I am when I forget.
And I do the same for them.

Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s light until we remember our own.

Strength Is a Practice

I’ve learned that strength isn’t something you “find” once and then never lose.
It’s a practice. A choice. A mindset.

I know now that:

  • When I feel weak, I need to seek strength—not hide from it
  • I can’t afford to tell myself I’m powerless, even when I feel that way
  • My strength grows the more I use it, trust it, and share it

And there’s always a small spark inside me—a flame that never goes out, no matter how dark it gets.

That’s what carries me.
That’s what keeps me standing.
And that’s what I want to help you find too.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

We all have strength.
Even if it feels buried. Even if it’s been challenged.
Even if it’s quiet.

If this past year has shown us anything, it’s that we’re still here.
We’ve survived more than we thought we could.
We’ve made it through dark seasons, tough days, and hard truths.
And we’re still standing.

That is strength.

Now is the time to pick up your sword.
To fight for someone who matters—you.
Me. Us.

Dig deep.
Find your strength.
And use it to keep moving forward.

SLAY Reflection: Where Does Your Strength Live?

  1. Can you find your strength even when you feel weak?
    What helps you tap into it?
  2. Have you ever doubted your ability to push through?
    What got you through anyway?
  3. What are some moments in your life when your strength surprised you?
    How did they change you?
  4. Do you remember your past victories when facing something hard?
    How can those reminders serve you now?
  5. Who in your life needs a reminder of their strength?
    Can you share yours with them today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment when you found strength you didn’t know you had?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel strong right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left

We’ve all been there.
Those seasons when it feels like nothing is working.
Every door feels closed, every step feels heavy, and no matter how hard we try, it all seems to fall apart.

We hit wall after wall.
We get frustrated.
We start to wonder if it’s even worth the fight.

But maybe—just maybe—those walls are redirections.
Maybe those detours are trying to protect us, shift us, or move us toward something better.
Sometimes, when nothing is going right, it’s not about giving up… it’s about going left.

When I Refused to Pivot

Before I began walking the path I’m on now, I was stubborn.
I didn’t believe I deserved good things, so when something didn’t go as planned, it only reinforced the belief that I was a failure.
A part of me almost wanted things to go wrong—because that matched the internal narrative I had created.

I worked hard, but the second I met resistance, I would retreat.
I’d give up.
And then I’d use that failure as proof that life was against me.

I didn’t see roadblocks as opportunities to pivot.
I saw them as confirmation that I was doomed to fail.
I was stuck in a cycle of all-or-nothing thinking, ruled by ego, fear, and a refusal to try things a new way.

Recovery Taught Me to Turn

Recovery didn’t just teach me how to live—it taught me how to redirect.

I’ve learned that just because a path is blocked doesn’t mean the dream is wrong.
Sometimes we’re meant to pursue it another way.
Sometimes we’re meant to walk away.
And sometimes, we’re simply being taught patience and trust.

What changed for me was the realization that I don’t know everything.
There is a whole world of wisdom, experience, and guidance that exists beyond what I’ve lived or read.
And when I stopped trying to force life to bend to my will—and instead became open to its direction—everything started to shift.

Those dead ends?
They were saving me.
Those “no’s”?
They were leading me to something even better.

Redirection Isn’t Rejection

When we cling to one way, one plan, or one outcome, we miss out on the magic of life’s detours.
The universe might have something better in store—something we never could have imagined.
But to receive it, we have to be willing to loosen our grip.
To trust.
To be humbled.
And to follow the signs when they point in a new direction.

Today, when I hit a wall, I don’t panic.
I pause.
I regroup.
And I look for a new opening.

The goal might still be the same—but the route can change.

Don’t Stop—Just Shift

If you’re feeling discouraged, if you’re facing what feels like a dead end, don’t give up.
Go left.

Try a new approach.
Ask for help.
Take a risk.
Open your mind to the possibility that there’s another way—maybe even a better way.

You’re not being punished.
You’re being redirected.
And that redirection just might lead you to everything you’ve been working for… and more.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You Respond to Redirection?

  1. Do you tend to feel defeated when things don’t go your way?
    What’s your default reaction when you hit a wall?

  2. Can you think of a time when a dead end led you to something even better?
    What did that teach you?

  3. Are there goals you’ve abandoned that might just need a new approach?
    What could you try differently?

  4. How often does your ego get in the way of your progress?
    Where could you surrender a little more?

  5. What would it look like to trust life’s redirections instead of resisting them?
    Where is life possibly nudging you now?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one detour in your life that ended up being a blessing in disguise?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or defeated, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

At A Rare Loss For Words

It’s not often I’m at a loss for words. Ask anyone who knows me well, and they’ll tell you—I’ve always got something to say. But lately? Lately, I’ve felt more shaken. Disheartened. I’ve struggled to find the right words in the face of what feels like an unraveling of the world around me.

If you’ve been reading the blog or following State of Slay™ for a while, you know I try to focus on growth, light, and resilience. I look for the lesson. The shift. The silver lining. And I’ve been trying to do that even as it feels like the people and places around me are falling apart.

Yesterday, it hit hard. I sat in my car, parked outside a store, completely unable to get out. I was paralyzed by the weight of it all—the lies, the selfishness, the lack of empathy. I’ve been feeling it for a while now: the anxiety of living in a place that doesn’t feel safe, the exhaustion of building something meaningful in uncertain times, the strain of trying to uplift others when I’m struggling to hold myself up.

A friend recently said they missed my positive energy. I mentioned I’d been a little low, and they replied that they’d noticed—but didn’t ask why. Didn’t check in. I get it. We all have a lot going on. But if we lose that connection—if we stop checking in on each other—what do we have left?

I know how I’ve made it this far: community. Support. A deep belief that light exists, even when it’s dim. My flame may be flickering, but it’s not out. And I know where to look to ignite it again.

When Darkness Feeds Itself

Before recovery, I thrived in the dark. I fed off negativity. I surrounded myself with people who mirrored my pain—people who used me, hurt me, and validated my belief that I wasn’t worthy of love or light. I clung to the victim narrative because it was easier than owning my part.

That mindset? It’s poison. It makes you believe that happiness is something someone else gives you. But real happiness—the kind that lasts—comes from living with integrity. From taking responsibility for our actions, our energy, and our healing.

Recovery taught me that the road to peace is paved with truth. That my actions, not my intentions, define who I am. That I get to choose how I show up in the world. And that means something, especially in times like these.

Be the Person You’re Proud Of

We’re all going through something. Some days are heavier than others. But now more than ever, we need to lift each other up—not tear each other down. We need to ask the extra question, send the check-in text, give the benefit of the doubt.

We need to be someone we can be proud of.

A few months ago, I asked: When all of this is over, will you be proud of who you were?

If you hesitate to answer, it’s time to get honest.

Choose compassion. Choose kindness. Choose truth. Choose to be the light—even if your flame is just a spark right now.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Someone You’d Be Proud Of?

  • Have you been living in integrity—with yourself and others?
  • Where have you fallen short? What can you do to make it right?
  • Are you showing up for others—or just for yourself?
  • What has your energy been like lately? How are you affecting the spaces you enter?
  • What’s one action you can take today to reconnect—with others and with yourself?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve done recently that made you proud—or one thing you want to do to course-correct?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling disconnected or dim, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little light to find our way back.

The Oops Factor

Growing up, I never left any room for mistakes. I expected myself to do everything perfectly—and when I didn’t, I beat myself up. I carried these unrealistic expectations with me through childhood, my teenage years, and well into adulthood, never giving myself permission to simply be human. The result? A constant negative narrative playing on loop in my head, convincing me I wasn’t good enough. Every mistake felt like proof of failure, which I used as an excuse to abandon self-care, spiral into self-doubt, and reinforce the lie that I could never get better.

I see now that none of that thinking was true. I made it feel true by keeping my struggles to myself and believing the cruelest voices in my mind. I nearly rode that train all the way into the station—but thankfully, I got off before the final stop.

The truth is: our mistakes are where we learn the most. They shape our character. They build the resilience we need to accomplish the things that really matter. No one is meant to get it right every time. The growth is in the slip-ups. That’s why we need to embrace what I call the “Oops Factor.”

What Perfectionism Really Cost Me

Expecting myself to be perfect—even when I knew better—set me up to fail. I’d aim impossibly high and, when I missed the mark (which was inevitable), I’d use that as ammunition to tear myself down. Even when I succeeded, I picked apart the outcome. I never gave myself permission to feel proud. That made relationships harder too. I lived in fear that people would see me for the fraud I thought I was.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point and asked for help. In that process, I learned something life-changing: mistakes are a sign that I’m trying. They mean I’m pushing myself. And even when things don’t work out the way I hoped, there’s always a lesson or a growth opportunity—often the real reason I was on that path in the first place.

Over time, I’ve learned to trust that I’m exactly where I need to be. My job is to take the next right step. I can’t control the outcome—just the intention behind the action. And when I show up with that mindset? It’s always a win. Trying is the victory. There’s always something to gain.

Make Room for the Oops

We’re all allowed to make mistakes. In fact, we should be making them. That’s how we grow.

Start leaving space for the Oops Factor in your life. When something doesn’t go as planned, look for the lesson—or simply laugh it off. Don’t let the fear of messing up keep you from taking risks or being yourself. Let go of the pressure to be perfect and redefine what success looks like. Maybe, just maybe, being exactly who you are today is enough.

Mistakes don’t define you. But how you respond to them just might.

SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you expect yourself to be perfect?
  • How do you usually react when you make a mistake?
  • Does that response help you—or harm you?
  • What’s one belief about mistakes that you’re ready to let go of?
  • What’s one thing you’ve learned from a recent oops moment that helped you grow?

Give yourself permission to stumble. Learn, laugh, and get back up stronger.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can show yourself more grace when you make a mistake?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been stuck in a shame spiral, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder that it’s okay to mess up.

You Set The Tone To How You Want To Feel

When I stepped onto this path, I was told, “You can just decide to have a good day, and it will happen.” I thought that was ridiculous. Clearly, these people didn’t understand how bad my life was or what a piece of crap I thought I was. But they insisted—and over time, I realized they were right.

At the start, my mind was rarely positive. I had to practice focusing on the good. I began writing down the things I was grateful for—sometimes only one thing, but it still counted. I’d carry that piece of paper in my pocket, and when the shadows crept in, I’d take it out and read it aloud. Just that simple act would bring some light back.

As I got better at it, my mind cleared, and the list of good things grew—as did the light and positivity in my life.

Building a Solid Foundation

To feel good, I had to do good things for myself. Self-care wasn’t just a buzzword—it became a necessity. For me, that meant:

  • Getting enough sleep

  • Eating well

  • Moving my body in some way

  • Connecting with my spiritual side

These were the key ingredients that gave me the best shot at having a good day.

And here’s a secret I learned: even if the day took a turn for the dark, I could still infuse it with light and turn it around. We’re not victims of our thoughts or feelings—unless we choose to be.

Staying Present in Uncertainty

During times of uncertainty, feelings can creep in and derail our day if we let them. It’s crucial to stay connected to what we’re feeling and why. Many times, those feelings point to something we’re holding onto from the past.

Setting an intention for positivity—of staying present and in the moment—cuts those ties to the past. If our mind drifts back, we can acknowledge it without letting it take over.

We set the tone for our day, SLAYER, so let’s make sure we’re setting a good one.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you feel like you’re bullied by your own feelings and thoughts?

  • Do you set an intention for your day?

  • When you do, are you able to hold onto it? If not, what pulls you away?

  • What kind of intention do you set?

  • Can you work harder on setting a positive tone for your day? What steps could you take?

  • How can you pause in the morning and decide to have a positive day?

  • How can you shift back into a positive mindset if negativity creeps in?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one intention you’ll set for yourself tomorrow morning?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to set a positive tone for their day, send this to them.
Sometimes, we all need a little reminder of our power.

Do You Like Yourself?

I used to say yes. To your face, I’d smile and say, “Of course I do!” But inside, the truth was always no.

From as far back as I can remember, I felt I wasn’t good enough. I thought I was weird, different, and if you knew who I really was, you wouldn’t like me. I set impossible standards for myself, and every time I couldn’t meet them, I’d beat myself up. Over the years, those unrealistic expectations grew bigger—and so did my self-hatred.

I had a constant, negative narrative running in my head, berating myself for not measuring up. My lack of self-love dragged me to darker places, until I stopped caring about my well-being. I took dangerous chances with my life, not because I wanted to die, but because I didn’t care if I lived.

It was only through a friend that I found the courage to reach out for help. That was the beginning of a new path—and the road from self-hatred to self-love was bumpy, messy, and full of stumbles. But it was worth every single one.

Starting with Forgiveness

When I began this journey, I couldn’t even look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Just thinking about it makes me sad now. But I knew if I was ever going to like myself, I had to start by forgiving myself. And that wasn’t something I could do alone. I worked with a mental health professional and found support in groups of people walking the same path. Their guidance helped me move forward and start believing that I was worth forgiveness.

Gratitude and Giving Back

Gratitude was a key step. In the beginning, it felt nearly impossible, but I was encouraged to start with just one thing each day—one thing I was grateful for, and one thing I liked about myself. Some days I struggled to find even one, but I’d write it down and carry it in my pocket. Whenever I felt discouraged or fearful, I’d take it out and remind myself.

And then there was giving back. Early in my journey, I was shown that we always have something to give, even if we don’t think we do. Simply sharing our truth, asking someone how their day is, or offering a kind word can lift not just them, but also us. No matter how far down we may feel, someone else may feel even lower, and reaching out creates a connection.

Reflection in a Time of Pause

During this time of social distancing and isolation, when the world feels paused, we have an opportunity to ask ourselves: do I like who I am? If not, why? This is the perfect time to explore those feelings and make positive changes. And if we struggle to find things we like about ourselves, it’s okay to ask a trusted friend or family member what they see in us. Sometimes, seeing ourselves through their eyes helps us find the light.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Would you say you like yourself? If not, why not?

  • If you do, what do you like about yourself?

  • Have you always liked yourself? If not, what changed?

  • If you don’t like yourself, was there a time when you did? What changed?

  • What can you do today to find something you like about yourself?

  • What are you grateful for today?

Focus on those things, SLAYER. Challenge yourself to discover more in the days to come. Ask others for their insights. Make sure the reasons you tell yourself don’t keep you stuck in negativity. And if they do, ask why you’re holding onto them. Learn to let them go, or forgive yourself for them. Self-love—or even just self-like—is waiting. Take that first step today.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you like about yourself today?
Share it in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs this message, send it to them.
Sometimes, a little reminder is all it takes to start a journey.

Perseverance

I used to think perseverance was only for certain things—like career goals or material achievements. But when it came to my mental health, I was quick to throw in the towel. The moment a setback occurred, my inner critic would scream, “Why bother? You’ll fail anyway.” And too often, I listened.

But I learned something: true perseverance—the kind that transforms you—isn’t about pushing through only when it’s easy or convenient. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when the path is rocky, the finish line invisible, and the negative voices loud.

There were times I clung to perseverance for external wins but abandoned it for the internal work—the work that mattered most. I believed the lie that I didn’t deserve good things. But when I finally committed to my recovery, I discovered that same perseverance, channeled into my healing, could produce powerful results.

The Power of Persistence

When you ask most successful people their secret, they’ll likely tell you: perseverance. They didn’t give up. It seems like common sense, but how often do we stop just shy of the finish line? Or give up before the miracle happens?

There’s no published timeline for how long we have to keep going without seeing results. That’s where many falter. But if you can’t stop thinking about it—if giving up feels like losing a part of yourself—then keep going. That’s your sign.

Sometimes, perseverance isn’t about bull-headedness. It’s about flexibility, too. If a particular path isn’t working, the lesson might be to pivot. But often, it’s about staying the course—especially when it comes to your own well-being.

Lessons Learned

Before recovery, I used perseverance to chase things that didn’t nourish me. Now, I channel it into what matters: my mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It’s not easy. There are still days when the voices of doubt and fear creep in. But I’ve learned to keep going, to fight for the life I want, and to trust that even the smallest steps count.

The finish line may be hidden, but it’s there. The only way to see it is to keep moving forward. Don’t let the setbacks define you. Let your perseverance become your strength.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Would you say you have perseverance?

  • Write out some examples of when you’ve shown perseverance. What was the result?

  • Do you consistently have perseverance, or only in certain areas?

  • What stops you from persevering?

  • When have you failed to persevere? Why?

  • What can you do to cultivate perseverance in those areas?

  • What challenges do you face in maintaining perseverance?

  • How can you channel it into things that nurture your growth and healing?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing in your life you’re determined to keep going for, no matter what?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s lift each other up.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay the course, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that perseverance is worth it.

Was Blind But Now I See

I was listening to Andrea Bocelli’s moving performance of “Amazing Grace” recently at the Duomo cathedral in Milan. As I heard the words “I was blind but now I see,” it struck me deeply. I hadn’t really thought about that line before—just the song as a whole and what it meant—but it reminded me of the years I spent struggling.

There was a time when I didn’t believe I was worth saving, a time when I had lost hope. Back then, I was blind. I was blind to myself, my life, my behavior—thinking I was someone I wasn’t, living a life I wasn’t. I saw only what my mind told me to see, not the truth of what was really going on.

I was living in the darkness of my mind, while the real me—the person I truly was—slowly slipped away under the layers of garbage I kept piling on.

Seeing the Truth for What It Is

We tend to see what we want to see, don’t we? Whether it’s good or bad, we often paint ourselves a picture we choose to believe. Some of us hide behind a picture-perfect fantasy; others choose to cloak everything in doom and gloom.

But the truth is, life usually falls somewhere in the middle—often not as extreme as our minds want us to believe.

I used to use distractions and numbing behaviors to avoid the truth. Even during this time of isolation and home seclusion, those distractions are still available. Facing the truth is uncomfortable. It’s so much easier to stay behind the veil of the story we tell ourselves.

For me, the truth was standing right in front of me, and I could no longer hide. It took realizing that continuing to hide from my truth would ultimately destroy me. When I finally sought help, that veil was lifted. And while seeing the truth was painful at first, it was also freeing.

Freedom in Truth

The truth was my chance to make changes. To see the mess my life had become. To recognize the lies my head had been feeding me.

At first, it was easier to hide and live in a world of my own choosing, but things were never going to get better in that place. I was lucky to have seen the truth when I did, and that I was still able to do something about it. Not everyone gets that chance.

When we are willing to face the truth, we give ourselves the opportunity to change what we don’t like. Or at least, to improve things. Truth gives us clarity to make better choices and to see how those choices affect not just us, but those around us.

It’s within truth that real change is possible. It’s where we find the opportunity to become someone we are proud of—someone who lives a life we want, not one we’re pretending to live.

So take off the glasses that may be clouding your vision. Look at your life for what it truly is, and use that vision to build a life you are proud to see.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you typically see things as they are, or do you see them as you choose to see them?

  • What do you see? Do you like it?

  • How much of what you don’t like is a result of your own choices?

  • What can you change to improve what you see?

  • Write an example of something you chose not to see and how it became a bigger problem.

  • Do you tend to overlook the good in your life? Why?

  • What good can you see if you look for it? How can you find and create more good?

When we face our truth, we gain clarity. And clarity gives us the opportunity to make changes—big or small—that can lead us to a better life.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What truth are you ready to face in your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in seeing things clearly.

And if you know someone who might need this reminder, send it to them. Sometimes, the first step is simply acknowledging we’re ready to see.

Hope

Hope saved my life.
Not overnight, not all at once. But slowly—almost imperceptibly—it pulled me forward when I couldn’t move on my own.

It didn’t start with a grand epiphany or a lightning-bolt moment. It started with a story. Someone shared their truth with me, and in that moment, something shifted. Their honesty lit a tiny spark in the darkness I was drowning in. That spark became a lifeline.

The hope I felt wasn’t loud or bright. It was dim, shaky, barely enough to hold on to. But it was enough. Enough to make me take action. Enough to give me the belief—however fragile—that things could get better.

The Patience of Hope

We live in a world that worships instant results. We want everything now—answers, change, healing, clarity. But hope doesn’t follow a schedule. It’s not something we can demand.

Hope is about trust. Trusting that something better is possible, even when we can’t see it. It asks us to let go of the timeline we think we’re entitled to and surrender to the process of becoming.

And that’s hard. Really hard.

But hope and patience are deeply connected. When we trust in hope, we create space. We soften our grip. We stop trying to control outcomes that were never ours to dictate. Hope is not about sitting still—it’s about steady movement, one small act of faith at a time, guided by the belief that this season will not last forever.

Letting Hope Lead

There’s a difference between wishing and hoping. Wishing is passive. It keeps us stuck. Hope, on the other hand, moves us. It opens our hearts, sharpens our focus, and lifts our heads. It whispers, “Keep going.”

We’re not always asked to see the full path. Often, we’re only given the next step. Hope is what fuels us to take it. It teaches us that we don’t need to have everything figured out in order to move forward—we just need to be willing.

When we push and force, we strangle the very thing we’re hoping for. Life flows in ways we can’t always see. Hope allows us to be guided by something greater than our expectations. It gives us the strength to walk the path, even when we don’t know where it’s leading.

The Gift That Grows

Hope expands when it’s shared. That’s part of why I started this blog—to pass on the spark that was once passed on to me.

You never know who needs your light. You never know who’s one story, one smile, one reminder away from holding on just a little longer. Sharing hope doesn’t require answers or fixing someone’s pain. It only asks that we show up and say, “I see you. I’ve been there. And it can get better.”

If I hadn’t been given that kind of hope years ago, I don’t know where I’d be. But because someone shared it with me, I get to be here now, sharing it with you. That’s the cycle of healing. That’s the quiet power of hope.

Hold On to Hope—And Pass It On

Whatever you’re facing today, I want you to know that hope is still available. Even if it feels out of reach, even if all you can manage is a single breath of belief—start there.

Hope doesn’t require certainty. Just willingness. Just a little bit of faith that things can change. And when you feel it rise, even in the smallest way, share it. Hope grows when it’s given.

We’re all walking through something. We’re all holding pieces of each other’s healing. And we are never alone in that.

SLAY Reflection

Take some time to reflect and reconnect with hope:

  • S: Do you feel hopeful right now? If not, what might be dimming your light?

  • L: Who has shared hope with you in the past, and how did it impact your journey?

  • A: Have you shared hope with someone else? What did that look like, and how did it feel?

  • Y: What’s one small way you can nurture or share hope today, even if it’s just with yourself?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What does hope look like in your life right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to hold on, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

When Your Past Comes Back

I recently got a phone call from someone in the same industry as me—a person I’ve known for years. They called to say some kind things that truly meant a lot. But what triggered this call was a conversation they’d had with someone I used to consider a close friend.

This former friend had abruptly ended our friendship years ago when I confronted them about behavior I found troubling—putting ambition and personal gain above authentic relationships. Fast forward to now, and they were using my name to connect with people in the industry, as if we were still close. This wasn’t the first time I’d learned they were leveraging my name, but hearing it again stirred something deep inside me.

The Stirring of Old Wounds

At first, I was stunned. Then, the anger bubbled up. How dare they use my name after cutting me off? They had no right. But as my hands trembled and my mind raced with all the things I could say, I stopped.

I took a deep breath.

Here’s the truth: calling them out, lashing back—it wouldn’t change the past or make me feel better. In fact, it would likely pull me into a spiral of frustration and negativity. Instead, I simply told the caller the truth—that this person was no longer a part of my life. I kept it factual, free of venom. I trusted the person on the other end to connect the dots.

Choosing Light Over Darkness

Not long after, I was on a video call where this same person, my former friend, appeared. They made a point to say they were there because of me. I smiled tightly and said nothing. I realized then: the truth would reveal itself in time. It always does.

What I’ve learned on this path is to stay true to myself. It’s not about winning an argument or proving someone wrong. It’s about preserving my peace, keeping my side of the street clean, and focusing on what brings me light and joy.

Letting Go of the Scorecard

Life isn’t about keeping score. People will hurt us, sometimes deeply. But carrying those grievances around only weighs us down. Every time we dwell on them, we feed the darkness instead of the light.

I’ve learned that when someone tries to pull me back into old wounds, I can choose to let go. I can choose to focus on what fills me with light. I can refuse to be dragged down a path that dims my soul.

Moving Forward with Strength

We all face moments when our past rears its head. The question is: how do we respond? Do we pick up the bitterness, or do we lay it down and walk away?

I choose to walk forward, with grace, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to my own well-being.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Have you ever confronted someone about an old hurt? How did that feel?

  • If you felt relief at the moment, did it last? Or did it leave you feeling hollow?

  • Do you find it hard to let things go, or do you feel pulled to dive back in?

  • How do you feel after going back—empowered or depleted?

  • Can you shift your focus to the present and release the chains of the past?

The past is a weight we don’t need to carry. Set yourself free today.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve chosen light over darkness in your past?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to let go of an old hurt, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a gentle reminder: we have the power to move forward.