Good morning SLAYER! The only obligation you have is to be your authentic self. No matter what others’ expectations may be for us, who we are, and what role we play in their lives is our decision, no one gets to dictate who we should be, that role is ours alone, and one we should be proud of.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
I don’t think it ever occurred to me, until I started on this journey and began to make positive changes in my life, that some of the people in my life might push back and not support me in my journey, that some people in my life wouldn’t support that I was becoming a better person, that I was doing things differently, not engaging in arguments I didn’t belong in, that I had started taking care of myself, and learning to love who I was. Those people who wouldn’t accept the changes I was making had cast me as a certain person in their life and they didn’t want me changing that. It was hard for me to understand at first, I thought that everyone would be happy that I had stopped living my life the way I had been and was finally taking action and getting the help that I so desperately needed, but that wasn’t always the case because some of the people I had chosen to be in my life, who I thought had been friends, weren’t willing to accept those changes and wouldn’t try to adapt the role they had already cast me in.
Just like in a play people cast us as certain roles in their life, without our consent or sometimes even our knowledge or involvement. I know for me there have been times that people have had a wild misconception about the relationship that we had, wild because we didn’t have a relationship, the relationship they thought we had was completely fabricated based on a few brief exchanges and from those they decided who I was going to be in their life and created the rest on their own. When this used to happen I felt obligated to be that person, even if it wasn’t who I really was, or how I felt, not wanting to let them down I would act the part, but that wasn’t fair to me, not if that’s how I really felt, or, if it wasn’t the truth because it was false and based on some sort of fantasy or preconceived notion on their part . As my sense of self got clearer I stopped doing that, I stopped agreeing to be what other’s perception of me was and just focused on being myself, and when people did push back or not like it, that was a great indicator that those people shouldn’t be in my life, because the people who truly knew me, who truly cared, and who truly supported me were happy to see the changes I was making and supported them, and me. I realized that people will sometimes hold on to who you were, or who they thought you were, or who they want you to be and not let go, and if that’s not who I am then I have to let that person go, and that can be hard to do, but as we go through life, and walk this path of SLAYDOM, there are going to be people who fall away, who aren’t up for the journey with us, who aren’t ready for the steps we’re taking, and who’s story in our lives should come to an end. Not everyone is meant to take the journey with us, not everyone is ready, but, if we live our lives as an example of a better way, a more loving way, perhaps they might come back around, or perhaps they’re not meant to, but we in no way should change who we are to fit their idea of us.
We also have to watch out that we don’t do the same to others. I know for myself, as an example, I put my parents on a pedestal for a long time, expecting them to be all-knowing and to always get it right, but the truth is they are just people like myself, learning and growing as they go, and even though they have had more time to live life, they’re journey is their journey, and I have to respect that and let them be who they are, not who I want them to be. And that’s important for everyone in our lives. As a SLAYER we allow others to be their authentic selves, as we want people to honor ours, we allow others to walk on their path at their own pace, their own way, and if they change and grow, we accept that, and hopefully if that growth is in line with ours, we do it together.
At the end of the day we our only responsible for being the people we are, we don’t owe anyone else a different representation, the only role we should play is ourselves, and we should only expect and encourage that in others. Who we are, authentically, is the greatest role of all, stand tall in who you are, and shine bright.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are there people in your life who have cast you in a role that doesn’t or no longer fits? Why do you think they’ve cast you in that role? Have you been honest with them, or have you played the role they’re wanting you to play? Do you think they will accept your authentic you? If not, why? If they won’t, do you feel this person is a good fit for you and your life? Do you cast other people in specific roles you want them to play? If so, why? As a SLAYER we celebrate our authentic selves, as well as others in our life, the only role we want to play is us, and that’s the only role we want them to play as well, there’s no greater part to play, it’s the part of a lifetime. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! It’s OK to be sad, it’s OK to have emotions, to have feelings, to hurt, to love, to be who you are at any given moment, give yourself permission to be true to your heart and honor your truth.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
I used to be guilty of never asking for what I wanted, either because I didn’t think I really deserved it, or I just thought you should know. Either way, many times I didn’t get what I wanted because I didn’t ask for it, or tell people what what I was hoping to receive in any given situation. As a result I got angry or became resentful sinking into a pity party pit of despair and anguish as I watched, what I thought, was everyone else getting what they wanted while I wasn’t. But, I had no right to be angry if I didn’t ask in the first place. It isn’t anyone else’s job to make sure I get what you want, that job is for only one person, and that person is me, and SLAYER, it’s your job to make sure you get what you want as well, so, what’s holding you back?
What are we so afraid of? The worst thing that can happen is someone can say no. That’s it. We’ve all heard no before, and will many more times in our lifetime, so why do we get so afraid to ask for what we want? Well, as I’ve already mentioned, we may not feel like we deserve it, we do, we deserve to get the things we want, we work hard, we’re good people, why can’t we ask for what we want? We can. That doesn’t mean we’re always going to get it, and, that’s OK, but it we don’t let our intentions be known people aren’t going to know that it’s something we want unless they just guess or somehow or are on the same page as we are, but why leave your wants up to chance? You shouldn’t, you should be clear about what you want so there aren’t any misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations. This was something I had to learn, to speak up for myself, and to clearly ask, and know that I do deserve good things, I do deserve to ask for what I want, and once I got over the fear of asking and started doing it, things became more clear, my communication with other people was better, I did get what I wanted, not all of the time, but more than I was, and at the very least it started a conversation with someone who I wouldn’t have had before, and sometimes, out of that, came a compromise, or something else that I hadn’t even thought of, but was also good.
It’s the fear, I think, more than anything, of getting turned down, or being laughed at, or someone thinking we’re arrogant for even asking. The exercise here is just to ask, to stay out of the results of it, or how it’ll be received, those are beyond our control, but what we are in control of is letting our needs and wants be known, and then standing back to see what comes back, and learning to be OK with whatever that is, but knowing that you did ask, you stood tall and asked for what you wanted.
It’s easy to sit back with envy over what other people are getting, and letting yourself sink down in resentment, but you have the power to get yourself out of that hole of despair, you have the power to say, “hey, I want this,” and working to make that happen. I have so much respect for people who come out and ask for what they want, some new friendships have started because of it, because someone found the courage to just reach out, and generally people tend to respect and listen to people who are strong enough to stand up and ask for what they want, they start to listen to those people and ask their opinions and want to collaborate with them. It’s the start of a shift of how people view us and communicate with us.
There are certainly guidelines for your asking that typically are good to follow; make your requests reasonable, keep it simple, believe you are worth it, take into consideration the other person’s needs, find a nice way to deliver your request, be honest about it, and, don’t huff and puff and stomp away if you don’t get what you want, see if you can find a compromise, or if there isn’t, say thank you, or OK, and walk away. There’s a right way to ask and a wrong way, but when we are concise and clear many times it can be a simple conversation, and one the other person will appreciate for your honesty and courage to come out and ask for what you want.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you ask for what you want? Why not? Do you think you deserve to have what you want? What was a time you asked for what you wanted and got it? What stops you from doing that each time? What has been the result of you asking for what you wanted in the past? Do you think you may have approached it in the wrong way? What did you learn from that? I challenge you SLAYER, to ask for what you want, when something comes up, and it’s a reasonable request, ask, see what happens, and, if you don’t get what you want, know that just the act of asking is a win, keep doing it and see how things will change for you. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! We all make mistakes, and sometimes we hurt someone as a result of our actions, but it is how we take action after the fact that defines who we are. If and when it’s possible a simple ‘sorry’ isn’t always enough, it’s taking responsibility for the damage caused, and making amends to correct the behavior in the future or fixing the damage. We may think that we’ve done permanent damage, but miracles happen when we are open and honest about what we’ve done, the relationship may even strengthen where it had been weak.
New blog goes up Friday until then…SLAY on!
Self care, I had no idea what that meant before I started this journey. What the heck was self care? Dodging those people I didn’t want to see, or had skipped out on? Sleeping off the night before? Yelling at someone so they would leave me alone and stop asking so many questions? That was my kind of self care before I started to love myself. Every day we wear a lot of hats, and it’s easy to put other people’s needs ahead of our own, and, it is nice to give back or do something for someone else, but we can’t forget to do something nice for ourselves, or even better, make it more than one thing, and a priority.
When I first set out on this path I hated myself, so the thought of being loving and kind to myself was a little tough to swallow, and having lived most of my life pretending to be who I thought you wanted me to be, I didn’t really know what to do to be kind and loving to myself and to give back to myself. Who was I? What did like? But I found as I started walking a path of learning who my authentic self was and learning to love that person I started to figure out what to do to show myself the love and respect that I would want from others, and to nurture the person inside of me who still believed she was less than.
That’s what it really is. It’s showing yourself that you matter, that your needs should also be met, and that with everything that we do every day, we need time to do something nice for ourselves and show ourselves we care, we need to recharge our batteries and put more fuel in the “I love myself” tank. We all run around with these ‘to-do’ lists, but we never seem to put ourselves on that list, we need to make sure, somewhere on that list, we write our own name down and make time to do something nice for ourselves, even on the busiest of days, even if it’s just singing out loud in your car to our favourite song, let your authentic self shine and show yourself love.
As I got more clarity, and found more self-love, I found ways to give back to myself, and I now make it a priority every day, and this also includes the things I’ve talked about before, making sure I’m eating properly, getting enough sleep, doing the things I need to do to give myself the best chance at success for my day, maybe sitting in silence to calm my nerves or thoughts, or reading something that helps me put things in perspective, lighting a candle, it’s about making sure I am doing what I can to put my best foot forward, all of that is also self-care, and self-love. When I find that my mind is racing and I’m feeling overwhelmed that is the first question I ask myself is, how am I doing in the self-care department, am I in H.A.L.T? I’ve mentioned H.A.L.T before, H.A.L.T stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. If I am any of those things I’m not in self care, I have neglected to do the things I need to do to face the day with a clear mind and the energy the I need to tackle my day.
Let’s get into H.A.L.T. Hungry, well, that is simple, if I’m hungry I need to eat, no excuses, I need to do it. My head turns to mud when I’m hungry, I can’t make decisions, and I become overly sensitive. Angry, well, I usually get angry at myself for not eating and for not being able to make decisions because I’m hungry, and then I overreact to things and get angry. Lonely, this will pop up if I have been isolating, not reaching out to friends and family and letting them know what’s going on for me, so I’m feeling shut off and distanced from those I love. Tired, did I go to bed early enough, did I get enough rest for the day ahead, if I didn’t, I am grumpy. H.A.L.T. keeps things simple, it’s the basics, but we all have needs we need to take care of to make sure we are giving ourselves the self care we need.
If these simple things are met I am usually pretty good to go through my day, and then adding a little something that’s just for me is a nice way to celebrate myself and let myself know that I’m cared for and loved, you should also do this, because, you are worth it and deserve things in your life that make you feel good, and nourishes that part of you inside who may have felt beat down, discouraged, who may not have had a voice, or had been feeling lost and alone, do it for that person, love that person and treat that person with the care and love they may not have gotten, give it to them now, give it to yourself now, give yourself what you need, give yourself self love, and self care.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you always put everyone else’s needs before yours? Do you take time out of your day just for yourself? If not, why? Do you think you’re worth taking some time for yourself? If not, why? You are SLAYER! Work on building self-care into your days and see how that changes your perspective on yourself, and the world around you. What’s one thing you can do today for your own self care? SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
You know, if everyone would just do what we expect them to do, the way we expect them to do it, everything would be fine. Am I right here? Unfortunately that’s not how it works, and then, we find ourselves in resentment. Managing our expectations can be tricky, but for me it goes back to what I’ve talked about in previous posts about finding out the facts. As I’ve said before, when we find out the facts, we are safe.
I used to be guilty of wishful thinking, of assuming that everyone knew what I was thinking or expecting, and were just going to do it the way I would want it done. I was afraid to speak up and ask others what their expectations were and, what they were willing to give or contribute. I had too much fear that you might not be on the same page so I just wouldn’t ask the questions, and then be hurt, disappointed, or angry when you didn’t follow through. But, I didn’t follow through for myself, I didn’t get all the information, and if someone called me out on that, I would get defensive and angry. Really, I was embarrassed that I hadn’t spoken up and done the work for myself.
This ties into a few different things. First, believing that your voice matters and asking for what you want. Now, just because you’re asking doesn’t mean you’re always going to get it, but if you are clear about your expectations then the other person or people can then let you know if they are on the same page or not, or what they are willing to do. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. If someone says no, it’s not the end of the world, what it is, is the end of you expecting them to participate and you can now move on to find someone else who may want to help you out or come on board. When we know the facts we are safe. This also goes for other people’s expectations of us. I used to be a people pleaser, never wanting to disappoint anyone or upset them because I didn’t want them to think I was a bad person, so I would agree to things, or kind of say yes without really committing, so that I looked good in the moment, but then wouldn’t follow through or make an excuse when the time came resulting in hurt feelings and frayed friendships, I would always be the martyr and claim that I never really committed, justifying my flakiness in every situation. It’s funny how I always thought I was right in those situations, but when someone did it to me, I was angry. Well here’s the thing, when we’re living as our authentic selves, loving ourselves, choosing the right people to have in our lives, people we love and respect, then it becomes easier to speak our truth, and to ask for it.
Today, for me, it’s about keeping my side of the street clean. If I’m not able to help someone out, I tell them, I will explain why, and if I can and it’s asked for, maybe offer another solution or option, that way the people in my life know where I stand, and what they can expect from me. I’m not going to lie, sometimes people are disappointed, but I’d rather have them not count on me for something I know I can’t or don’t want to do then have them think I’m on board, and that goes for myself as well, I need to ask if someone is willing or wanting to help me with things, and ask, that way if they say no I know to move on, ask someone else. No, isn’t the worst thing someone can say to you, sometimes it can be the best, because it may force you to think outside the box, or go to someone you might not have thought to go to before. I try to look at a no as an opportunity.
When we ask for what we want, and are honest with others about what we are able to give or contribute, our expectations stay in check, as do others’ with us, most of the time, but it’s a good base to operate from to maintain and build healthy relationships. And, an incredible way to honor living as our authentic selves.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you ask for what you want? If not, why? Do you think you deserve to have what you want? If not, why? Do you ask people what their expectations are before getting started on a project or activity? Are you afraid to ask? Why? The challenge SLAYER is ask the questions you need to feel safe, and to be honest with others about what you are willing to give, you, like everyone else, deserves to be heard, and deserves to know the facts. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
We all want things, and there are days, or nights, that we sit and dream about the ways we would like them be, but wanting them and working for them are two different things. You have to take action. I used to sit at night and dream up all kinds of things that I wanted for myself, I could visualize it, then I would go bed, wake up, and do the same things I did the day before, never getting anywhere. I did that with a lot of things in my life and wondered why things didn’t change, they didn’t change because I didn’t change. Doing the same things that haven’t brought you happiness, self-love, and fulfillment are going to continue bringing the same thing, nothing, nothing but frustration, despair, and depression. It is up to you to do the work, and yeah, I know that sounds crappy, I mean, isn’t there some kind of pill or magical potion that you can take to make it better, no, no there isn’t. You have to roll up your sleeves, put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and work, and talk, for things out to move forward.
I was famous for reading all kinds of inspirational things and walk around feeling, well inspired, ready to do something, and then I wouldn’t. So, my challenge to you, and hopefully you have, but my challenge to you is to do the work, the writing at the end of each of these blogs, they’re there for reason, and they’re all things I do and have done, questions I’ve been asked, and work I’ve done that has helped to get me to the place I am today. It’s hard sometimes to sit down and answer these honestly, without any bullshit, but there’s a reason for it.
For too long we have hid behind our disease, or being a victim, or our fear, no more! It’s time to pick up our swords, or pens, and go to battle. Go to battle for ourselves, fight through the fear, and maybe the cold hard facts of what we have done or not done, how much we may have harmed ourselves, but hiding from it, stuffing it down, numbing it, isn’t helping us, trust me, it almost cost me my life, and to that I say, I am not going down because I couldn’t get honest with myself, that is the ultimate loss, loosing you to you at your own hand because you didn’t fight for the most important person in your life, YOU.
I’m not going to lie, things might seem shaky, they will probably be uncomfortable, and they might feel upside down, THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE! That means you are changing, shaking things up, breaking the patterns you have made in the past, that’s progress! We have to learn to get comfortable in our uncomfortableness, and you will, I did, I mean, there were days I felt like I was going to crawl out of skin, but I didn’t, it passes, and the more we do it, the easier it gets, and, the more we do it the more uncomfortable we get when we don’t do it. True story.
I know you have it in you SLAYER, you’ve come this far, and as I’ve said before, there is nothing that you have done, or a situation you’ve been in that hasn’t been done or happened before, people have managed to move passed it and make better lives for themselves, I have, and know many who have as well. If you find it’s getting too overwhelming or need help making sense of it all, ask for help, seek out someone, or a professional to help you put the pieces together, I have many times on my journey SLAYER, there’s no shame in asking for help along the way. The point is to move forward, learn from our past, our present, and find new tools for our SLAYER chest to move us forward with love and strength.
So, pick up your sword, call out your battle cry, scream, shout, summon all your strength and go to battle, for you! SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: My challenge to you SLAYER is to do the work. If you haven’t been doing the writing, go back and start, and if you have, re-read what you’ve written and see if what you’ve written has changed, if so update your answers, and be proud SLAYER, that’s growth. We SLAYERS don’t shy away from the truth, we are truth seekers, from ourselves and others, because when we live in truth we are safe. Don’t forget to smile, you are a SLAYING IT!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Yup we all have ’em, but a lot of ours are broken. I used to complain about the “awful people” in my life and the horrible things they did to me, but, it was me who let them into my life, and, participated in those relationships. When we’re not living in our truth, as our authentic selves, and we’re not loving and nurturing ourselves, we’re not making the best choices as to who we let into our lives. It’s not those people’s fault they are wreaking havoc in our lives, or disrespecting us, we’re the ones who invited them in, and, have let them stay!
There are certainly times when we don’t have a choice, but today we’re talking about most of the time, when we do, and honing your people picker starts with you, I think you may have started to see a trend here, everything starts with us, we have to manage who and what we let in, and for me I run that through some tests. What is this person’s intentions? Do they respect me? Do they listen? Do I like them? What do I like about them? Can I trust them? (oooh, that’s a big one, if they fail that one they have to go, no matter what else they may bring to the table). Trust, yeah. Before I started on this journey I did have people in my life I didn’t trust, because my people picker was based on wants and needs. What did I want or need from this person, there were a few people who I just wanted friendship, but there were many that had a purpose, and when they didn’t behave and do what I wanted them to do, or they didn’t fulfill that purpose, well, I got mad, and resentful. But, let’s go back to trust for a moment.
How can we trust someone else when we don’t trust ourselves? That’s the ticket really. We have to learn to trust ourselves, to honor ourselves, and know that we deserve to be surrounded by good people who love and respect us, but we have to honor and respect ourselves first. We have to get quiet sometimes and really ask ourselves for the truth, we know what it is, we just don’t always want to believe it or hear ourselves say it, but that “gut” instinct we all have, if we listen, it tells us, and sometimes it’s quite obvious we just choose to look the other way, or hope it will change. It won’t, until we change. It’s our job to trust we know what’s right, and, who should be in our lives. People tell us who they are, they show us, and it’s now SLAYER that we have believe them. We can’t make excuses for them anymore and let them in, or stay in, when who they are and what they are doesn’t fall in line with our authentic selves, we are living in our truth, and if someone else isn’t, or doesn’t respect yours, they have to go. And listen, I have a lot of compassion for someone who is trying, if I can see they’re doing the work, I can give someone a lot of leeway, but if they’re just spinning the same story over and over and it’s tampering with my peace of mind or my way of life, then they have to go. No, they have to go, there was no ‘but’ after that sentence SLAYER. Now, that doesn’t always mean forever, sometimes your path might meet up with that person again, if you both are on the same path, never say never, but for the time being, it’s the end of that story.
People, relationships, have chapters and stories in our lives, and sometimes they have to end, or are supposed to end, you know when that is, when it becomes the same struggle time after time, or they let us down over and over, or betray us, that story is meant to end, we are the authors, write THE END, and close that chapter.
As we learn to do this, and as we become clearer in our thinking, we become more and more protective of our hearts, are people picker gets better, more exact, but always looks for the facts, what are the people in our lives showing and telling us, believe them, you may need to move on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: How do you choose the people in your life? Are there people in our life you think shouldn’t be there? Why? Why do you think you’ve let them stay? Are you afraid to let them go? Why? Make a list of all of the people in your life, make pros/cons after each name, it should be obvious after you complete your list who should stay and who should go. If who should go scares you, know SLAYER, you are now honing your people picker, and even though it’s hard to say goodbye to who and what you know, you are starting a new chapter, a chapter filled with good people who love you for who you are. SLAY ON.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Sounds crazy right? The last thing I would ever admit to being was powerless over anything. I was strong, resilient, a warrior, I wasn’t powerless, I was….well, I was a mess. Don’t get me wrong, I had overcome a lot just on sheer willpower alone, but that only got me so far because it was only powered by stubbornness, the underlying truth was I felt like a piece of crap, and I was afraid you were going to find out that’s exactly what I was. When I was asked what I was powerless against the first time I thought, nothing, I am in control, well, clearly I was not or I wouldn’t have been on my knees asking for help years ago because my way had stopped working. So, it got me thinking. We are powerless over people, places, and things, we can not control them, we can try, heck knows I did, to the point of exhaustion, but at the end of the day people are going to do what they’re going to do, and life is going to, well roll on, in whichever direction it goes. This falls into acceptance again, but it’s also admitting that we have no power over those things, and once we do, we start to get our power back. See here’s how it works?
If we admit we don’t run the show what we are left with is the facts, and once we have the facts, we have power! We have the power to decide if this is the right situation, person, place for us to be, for us to thrive, for us to grow, be nurtured, challenged, and loved, and if it’s not, well, we probably shouldn’t be there. The more we ask ourselves these questions, and get the facts, then the more powerful we are.
Here’s another one, feelings aren’t facts. Now this can get tricky sometimes, because we “feel” like we should be with someone or somewhere, but, we now have to ask ourselves why, and what are the facts to back that up. It’s like we’re all detectives of our own lives, “just the facts Ma’am,” or Mister if the case may be, but we need to look at the facts, even if we don’t want to, and if we don’t, that’s usually an indication we are somewhere we shouldn’t be, our gut may be giving us a nudge. So, now that we are living in, or aiming to, our authentic selves we have to be careful where we go and what we do, we are precious cargo, we can’t just be throwing ourselves into situations like we used too! No, we deserve to be places and with people who appreciate who we are. Now that might mean that some people will fall away in your life, I’ve had to say goodbye to a few over the years, and it’s not easy, but, if those so-called friends or relationships aren’t supporting the authentic you, they need to go, and who knows, making the changes you are might inspire them to do the same. You’ll be amazed that when you start loving and respecting yourself how other people start to do the same, and if they don’t, well that’s a sign, and, a fact, they need to go. If those people are family, well, it’s not always easy to just say goodbye, but setting boundaries and limiting the types of interactions you’re having with them is step in the self love/authentic you direction. More on boundaries later, but, it’s about knowing the facts and making the best decisions for ourselves.
Someone who has been very instrumental in my road to recovery used to say to me, “when we know the facts we are safe because then you know what you are dealing with and can make the best decision for yourself,” but, at the beginning sometimes it was really scary to ask, it seemed easier to go back to my old ways and just assume or “hope” that things were the way I wanted them to be, or even worse, try to force it into being so, asking will probably not make you feel safe, but trust me, once you start doing it you will see that it is the only way we are safe.
It’s time to take our powerlessness over people, places, and things, and turn it into our power, our power to live authentically and live in the light.
SLAY OF THE DAY: What are you powerless over in your life? Who are the people, places, or things you don’t have all the facts on? What do you think will happen if you do? Is there something stopping you from find out the facts? Get the facts SLAYER, case closed.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
(Photo Credits: Photographer: Jay Bartlett Make-Up: Samantha Dellinger Jewelry: Hilliard Design)
