I don’t think it ever occurred to me, until I started on this journey and began to make positive changes in my life, that some of the people in my life might push back and not support me in my journey, that some people in my life wouldn’t support that I was becoming a better person, that I was doing things differently, not engaging in arguments I didn’t belong in, that I had started taking care of myself, and learning to love who I was. Those people who wouldn’t accept the changes I was making had cast me as a certain person in their life and they didn’t want me changing that. It was hard for me to understand at first, I thought that everyone would be happy that I had stopped living my life the way I had been and was finally taking action and getting the help that I so desperately needed, but that wasn’t always the case because some of the people I had chosen to be in my life, who I thought had been friends, weren’t willing to accept those changes and wouldn’t try to adapt the role they had already cast me in.
Just like in a play people cast us as certain roles in their life, without our consent or sometimes even our knowledge or involvement. I know for me there have been times that people have had a wild misconception about the relationship that we had, wild because we didn’t have a relationship, the relationship they thought we had was completely fabricated based on a few brief exchanges and from those they decided who I was going to be in their life and created the rest on their own. When this used to happen I felt obligated to be that person, even if it wasn’t who I really was, or how I felt, not wanting to let them down I would act the part, but that wasn’t fair to me, not if that’s how I really felt, or, if it wasn’t the truth because it was false and based on some sort of fantasy or preconceived notion on their part . As my sense of self got clearer I stopped doing that, I stopped agreeing to be what other’s perception of me was and just focused on being myself, and when people did push back or not like it, that was a great indicator that those people shouldn’t be in my life, because the people who truly knew me, who truly cared, and who truly supported me were happy to see the changes I was making and supported them, and me. I realized that people will sometimes hold on to who you were, or who they thought you were, or who they want you to be and not let go, and if that’s not who I am then I have to let that person go, and that can be hard to do, but as we go through life, and walk this path of SLAYDOM, there are going to be people who fall away, who aren’t up for the journey with us, who aren’t ready for the steps we’re taking, and who’s story in our lives should come to an end. Not everyone is meant to take the journey with us, not everyone is ready, but, if we live our lives as an example of a better way, a more loving way, perhaps they might come back around, or perhaps they’re not meant to, but we in no way should change who we are to fit their idea of us.
We also have to watch out that we don’t do the same to others. I know for myself, as an example, I put my parents on a pedestal for a long time, expecting them to be all-knowing and to always get it right, but the truth is they are just people like myself, learning and growing as they go, and even though they have had more time to live life, they’re journey is their journey, and I have to respect that and let them be who they are, not who I want them to be. And that’s important for everyone in our lives. As a SLAYER we allow others to be their authentic selves, as we want people to honor ours, we allow others to walk on their path at their own pace, their own way, and if they change and grow, we accept that, and hopefully if that growth is in line with ours, we do it together.
At the end of the day we our only responsible for being the people we are, we don’t owe anyone else a different representation, the only role we should play is ourselves, and we should only expect and encourage that in others. Who we are, authentically, is the greatest role of all, stand tall in who you are, and shine bright.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are there people in your life who have cast you in a role that doesn’t or no longer fits? Why do you think they’ve cast you in that role? Have you been honest with them, or have you played the role they’re wanting you to play? Do you think they will accept your authentic you? If not, why? If they won’t, do you feel this person is a good fit for you and your life? Do you cast other people in specific roles you want them to play? If so, why? As a SLAYER we celebrate our authentic selves, as well as others in our life, the only role we want to play is us, and that’s the only role we want them to play as well, there’s no greater part to play, it’s the part of a lifetime. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you