appreciate

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! This present moment is all we have.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Only In The Now

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Low self-esteem is like going through like with a hand-break on.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Popularity

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

SLAY on!

What You Worship Will Eat You Alive

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or an atheist, many of us still worship something. It may be money, clothes, ourselves, weight, beauty, travel, it can be a person, but whatever it is, whenever we place too much importance, above and beyond our own well-being, mental health and spiritual fitness, will eventually eat us alive, as what we worship will never be enough.

We can chase these material or idealistic ideas into our grave, thinking if only we just had more of it that would solve all our problems, if only we could obtain it all, then we would be enough. Nothing, that we can touch, taste or feel will ever replace peace of mind and self-love. Trust me, I tried for more than half my life. I chased clothes, shoes, handbags, beauty products, career, friends, anything I could that I thought would fill the void I felt inside, and no matter how much I got, it never did, I still felt empty, and I still hated myself. And not only did it not fill that void, it filled with me with jealousy and envy of those I thought had I wanted or needed to finally be fulfilled, and, I thought, happy. That thinking brought me down some pretty dark paths, and sparked some serious selfish motives in my day to day life. My drive, all of my thoughts, went to obtaining those things, and even when I would get what I was wanting, it was never enough, because there was always something bigger and better just out of reach. I was never going to have all of clothes, the shoes, the handbags the money, the projects, the friends, and so on, that I thought I needed to finally feel the way I wanted to feel, and that obsession brought me to a place where, realizing that, I then reached for whatever I could to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel the disappointment of that, and the fear that I was never going to fill that void inside of myself.

I had to learn that life isn’t about all of those things I thought I needed for happiness, it is about learning to love myself, and sharing that love with others. Those moments we get to share with someone else who appreciate our time and who we are, just as we are. It’s about all the stuff we can’t buy. And, it’s stuff we shouldn’t have to chase, or, it wasn’t meant for us in the first place. It turns out the trick to finding happiness was living in gratitude, it was being honest with myself, of finding forgiveness, of learning to laugh when I make mistakes, and letting my light and heart shine. There is nothing that can be bought or taken that can replace any of those things, never mind worshiped. What we should place our attention on is positive thinking, is healing, of giving back, and finding something that we can connect with that may guide us, or help us to feel grounded and at home, that, for me took the place of all the other stuff, and that is what finally filled my heart.

It’s easy to look at what others may have, or the latest and brightest new thing that promises to make our life better and think that is what  is going to make our life better, but we are the only ones who can do that by the choices we make and what we choose to place as being important in our lives. When we put too much energy into obtaining something or someone and give it all of our power we are in trouble. What we seek may eat us alive from the inside out. Start to find happiness from within and see how that radiates in everything you do, you may just realize you’re wealthy in ways you had never seen, and instead of hording the things you think you need, perhaps you will share yourself with those who will love and appreciate you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you worship material things, or, people and places, thinking you need to have them in order to be happy? What do you worship? Why do you think that is the key to your happiness? What is enough to make you happy? Is it ever enough? Or, is there always more, or something newer or better? Do you ever feel satisfied? If not, why not? What can you do today to look within, to find some happiness in yourself or perhaps in a spiritual connection that makes you feel loved? When we place so much importance on outside things we set ourselves for disappointment, and, eventually even self-destruction. Put your focus on the right things, the things that give back to yourself and the things you can share with those in your life, not the things that can be bought, those things that matter most, you, just as you are.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Good News Is Contagious – Pass It On

I was speaking with a friend yesterday who shared some good news with me. She had been going through a tough time lately and so it was great to hear something unexpected and positive had happened and it brightened my day to hear her good news. Good news is contagious that way. When we hear of something good happening for someone we care about it like it’s also happened to us, that good shines on us as well. Good news has a ripple effect, it spreads out from the person sharing to through to all of those who it’s shared with, and yet, there are times when we hesitate to share our good news in fear of being judged or the excitement not reciprocated, which is an indication that we might not have chosen the right people to have in our life, or, the ones to share in our good news. We should always share our good news, and should not hesitate to, our good news should always be celebrated, and because it feels good to all it is shared it, it seems selfish to not share it.

When I was living in the dark I hesitated sharing anything good, first off, because I didn’t believe I deserved anything good, and second, because I didn’t trust that anyone would be happy for me. That trust issue was my issue, because I was walking around with so much shame and guilt, I thought people could see who I really was and wouldn’t be happy for me, or would be jealous that something good had happened to a piece of garbage like me, so I held it back, or would share it but would follow it up with something to downplay it so it didn’t sound as good. I never let myself fully enjoy the good, or allow others to fully enjoy it with me.

When I sought help and was on my road of recovery I learned to appreciate the good, to look for it, and I got to work getting over my fear of sharing it with the people in my life. First I had to start believing I was worthy of the good and that others weren’t looking at me enviously for getting something I didn’t deserve. I had to also look at the people who I had chosen to have in my life, were they true friends who did want the best for me, and was I a true friend to them? I had to get honest with not only who the people were in my life but why they were in my life, and, did they have a place in my new life now that I was living rigorously honest. Most of the people I had chosen remained and it was changed behavior on my part that let them in and began to share with them what was truly going on in my life, and that included sharing good news. I began to see how sharing my good news brightened someone else’s day, and may have given them hope in their own life, and I noticed that when someone did the same with me that it brightened my day as well, and, I learned to celebrate along with them instead of thinking that they may have gotten something that I wanted for myself. It was about learning to think in a new way, that allowed me to see the good in my own life and feel grateful but also do the same with others. Their good news didn’t take anything away from me, in fact it gave me something I could use to lift my own spirits and continue on in my own journey.

Never be afraid to share your good news, if you’ve chosen the right people in your life, they will be just as excited to hear it as you were, and they’ll cheer you on as that good cheer will be shared with them in their life. We can spread positive energy through each other and it becomes like a light beam that connects us all, and when someone needs that light it may illuminate their path and create their own good news to come. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you share your good news when you have it? How do you do this? What is the result? How do you feel when you share your good news? How does it effect those around you? When someone shares their good news with you, how does it effect you? Do you feel that positive energy from someone else’s good news? Does it brighten your day or spirits? Anytime we share something positive with those around us, it sends out light to those we share it with, which not only lights up their day but brightens ours as well. Send out your beams of light when you share your good news and watch it light everyone up. That’s good news… pass it on!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you love what you have, you have everything you need.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Thankful I Have A Cup

When Eating A Piece Of Fruit, Thank The Person Who Planted The Tree

We live in a society that is all about consumption. It’s about being the first, about going faster and wanting more. We consume all day long, most of the time without thought. We are glued to our screens while we eat, while we walk and many of us even have a hard time staying present when we’re taking part in an activity we love. We, if unchecked, can walk through life blindly, having no awareness of what, or who, is around us, and how what it may have taken for us to enjoy what we do each day. I have a friend who once encouraged me to thank my house for protecting me, for keeping me warm or cool and for giving me a home. I first I kind of chucked to myself, but then I thought about it, and yes, I was grateful to come home to a place of safety, a place I enjoyed and was proud of, so why wouldn’t I say thank you. When we think about those every day things we may take for granted and we begin to appreciate what they do for us, what they give us in return, and, the work or effort that went in to those things before we used or consumed them, it sets us up to live in a place of gratitude, and while we’re in the place, we are not only happier in our own lives but we share that joy with those around us.

We are conditioned to always want something new, or what someone else has, social media plays a big part in this, and even though we know that what we’re seeing may not, and likely is not, the truth, we still judge our own lives compared to what we see. When we turn that energy into being thankful for what we do have and what has gone into each of the things we have that self-judgment and measuring our lives to those around us slips away, and we focus on all the good we have, and trust me, whether we are where we’d like to be right now, we all have a lot of good in our lives, starting with a roof over our heads. Give thanks each day, thank your home for protecting you, thank you car for getting you to where you need to go, thank your body for moving you around and giving the means to express yourself, be thankful for everything you have and everything you touch, and stop and think about how that came to be, the work, the craftsmanship, the design, the labor, appreciate it all and when you do it is a way of giving thanks, to all of those people who have played a part, but in your life as a whole. Even when we find ourselves in a tough spot, or feeling down, or struggling, we have a lot, and when we start to focus on what we do have we lose focus on what we don’t.

Take a moment today to be thankful for all of the things that make your day easier, better, safer, brighter, and better. Pause and be grateful, and work to slow yourself down as you navigate through your busy life to not just consume and a rapid pace, to think about what you have and how those things give back to you, it’s time you gave back to those things and said thank you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think about how grateful you are to have what you have, or do you focus on what you want or what you don’t have? If you are grateful, how do you show that gratitude? If you don’t, what do you think you get in return by focusing on what you don’t have our what you want? How do you think it will change your perspective to start looking at your life with gratitude? Why don’t you start right now. Write a list of all of the things you are grateful for, and then think about who or what has made those things possible, find gratitude and give thanks to them. Living our lives in gratitude changes our thinking from negative to positive and when we have a positive outlook our world gets bigger and brighter, which we then share with others. Be thankful and give thanks for what you have, carry that gratitude in your heart as you navigate through your busy day, remembering to slow down to acknowledge all that you have.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Celebrate It All

Celebrate Life, Especially In Death

It was one year ago today that my Uncle lost his battle with cancer, and two days ago I learned of the sudden passing of a dear friend. In both cases, these men exuded light and love. They were always helping those in need, or those they felt could use some of their light. They laughed, they made others laugh, and they shared themselves, they’re true selves, with those around them. It’s always sad to say goodbye, and, so often, it takes time to even accept that such a bright soul is no longer here, although they are never far. Kevin, who passed a few days ago, has been ever present in my last few days, I’ve seen signs of him in many moments and when I do it always makes me smile and warms my heart. And, it’s a reminder that we never truly lose those we love, they stay with us, popping in and out when we may need a reminder they’re there, or, to keep us smiling. It also reminds me that even in death, we need to celebrate life. Both men did so much for others, there is much to celebrate, and in knowing both men, that is what they would have wanted, not for us to be sad and for our hearts to ache, but to laugh and remember all the good things we shared, the funny moments, the warm thoughts and times of understanding. It is in times like these that things always seem to come into the right perspective.

But, why do we often wait for a big event, or loss, to celebrate life? We should be celebrating every day, with ourselves, and those we love. In fact, we should be actively looking for each moment to celebrate who we are, who we love and how far we’ve come. Now, I don’t mean we should looking to celebrate so much that we stop doing what we need to do, but even just recognizing something, acknowledging something or honoring something, or someone, is enough to keep the celebration going. We can be so hard on ourselves and can get in a cycle of seeking out those things we’ve done wrong, or could have done better, and many times it can be difficult to look for what we’ve done right, or better, and yes, it is great to always strive to do better, but it’s just as important to acknowledge how well we’ve done, or are doing. And, remembering to celebrate those people in our lives who help us, and remind, us to celebrate ourselves, and in turn, celebrate them.

As I remember those I have lost, and all the reasons to celebrate them, it also celebrates who I am and how fortunate I have been to have had these two beautiful souls in my life. Both made my heart bigger, and I can still feel it expand when I think of them, so instead of filling my heart with sorrow, I will fill it with love and gratitude that both of these men showed me how to live life with grace and love and both showed me a version of myself I love and can celebrate today, and each and every day. Celebrate your best self today, and even your lesser self, because when we celebrate all of who we are we get better, and we learn to grow from that place, we learn to love all of our parts and that love may show others how to love theirs. Celebrate life, and the life of those who have left us, it is through our continued celebrating that their light keeps shining in our lives and allows our light to shine brighter. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you celebrate yourself, even in the difficult times? If yes, how do you celebrate? If not, why not? When you’ve lost a loved one, are you able to celebrate them and who they were? Are you able to see who you were to them? Are you able to celebrate that, and see yourself through their eyes? How do you show appreciation for who you are and what you’ve been through? Can you do more? What? Do you celebrate the people in your life? How? Can you do more? We often think people know how we feel, and they may, but it never gets old to hear that appreciation, and you never know when you may not get the opportunity to share it again. Celebrate yourself, and those around you, each day, and watch the light within, and around you, get brighter.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You did what you knew how to do at the time, when you know better, you do better.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Green Better Not Bitter