Good morning SLAYER! When we don’t speak our truth, what we keep inside has power over us, it controls us, keeps us in fear, isolation, anger, shame, and regret. When we share those secrets with others, those things that used to bind us to our past are set free, and we are released from the bondage that used to control us.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
For a long time, my entire life was a secret.
I hid what I was thinking.
I hid what I was doing.
I hid how I was really feeling.
I carried shame, confusion, and anger quietly, convincing myself that keeping everything inside was somehow safer than letting anyone see the truth. I believed secrecy gave me control.
Instead, it made me sick.
Very sick.
And the hardest truth to accept was this:
I was the one holding myself there.
When we keep secrets, it often feels like protection.
We tell ourselves we’re avoiding judgment.
We think we’re sparing others.
We believe silence keeps us in control.
But secrets don’t protect us — they isolate us.
They keep us from asking for help.
They keep us from being known.
They keep us trapped in our own minds.
I believed that if no one knew, I could manage it on my own. But what I was really doing was cutting myself off from the very things that could have helped me heal.
Everything changed the first time I asked for help.
The first time I said out loud what I had been hiding.
That’s when I heard a phrase that landed like a weight in my chest:
“You’re only as sick as your secrets.”
It was devastating — and freeing — all at once.
Because suddenly, I could see how much suffering I had endured not because of what I’d done, but because I refused to speak it. The moment I shared my truth, it lost its grip on me.
There was nothing left to hide.
And in that openness, I found freedom.
Secrets feed shame.
They whisper that we are bad people.
That we’re unlovable.
That no one would understand.
But shame lies.
There is nothing you’ve done that someone else hasn’t already done, felt, or survived. We like to believe our pain makes us uniquely broken — but the truth is, our experiences connect us far more than they separate us.
When we share our truth, what we usually meet is not punishment — but understanding. Compassion. Connection.
And sometimes, in telling our story, we give someone else permission to tell theirs.
People often ask me if I’m afraid to share my truth publicly.
Do I worry about judgment?
Do I fear what people might think?
And the answer is no.
Because the people who matter most in my life already know my story — the broad strokes, the truth of where I’ve been and who I am now. I told them years ago, and in doing so, I was released from the bondage of my past.
I own my story.
I own my choices.
And I also know I am no longer that person.
There is power in that clarity — far more power than silence ever gave me.
The kind of “power” secrets give us is false.
It feels like control, but it actually leaves us exposed — to ourselves, to our darkness, and sometimes to people who would exploit what we hide.
Honesty removes that leverage.
When you are open, there is nothing to hold over you. No threat. No fear of being found out. You get to stand in truth instead of hiding behind it.
And that truth doesn’t just heal you — it protects you.
Being honest about where we’ve come from allows people to understand us more fully.
It deepens relationships.
It opens communication.
It builds trust.
Sometimes it also keeps us physically or emotionally safe — especially when others need to understand our boundaries, our triggers, or the reasons we must protect ourselves from certain people or situations.
Your truth gives context to your needs.
And context invites compassion.
At the end of the day, you hold the key to your freedom.
Keeping secrets you believe are “unshareable” doesn’t protect you — it imprisons you. It keeps you from intimacy, from support, and from fully living your life.
You don’t have to tell everyone everything.
But you do need to tell someone.
Because secrecy keeps pain alive — and truth allows it to heal.
You are only as sick as your secrets.
Don’t let them own you.
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: Are there parts of your life or past you’ve never shared with anyone?
L: What fears keep you holding those secrets?
A: What do you believe would happen if you spoke your truth out loud?
Y: How might your life change if you chose honesty over hiding?
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever experienced freedom after sharing something you thought you had to hide?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s carrying secrets that are weighing them down, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Good morning SLAYER! It’s OK to be sad, it’s OK to have emotions, to have feelings, to hurt, to love, to be who you are at any given moment, give yourself permission to be true to your heart and honor your truth.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Hello SLAYERS! I’m ready for another SLAY TALK LIVE. You can watch the feed here, or if you want to comment, ask questions, or suggest a topic of conversation join us by clicking this link: SLAY TALK LIVE
Before stepping on this path it never occurred to me that what I was seeing and hearing was being filtered through my own perception, I just took it all as fact, and reacted to it. What I didn’t realize is because I was living in a negative space, and quite often as a victim of the world and all of you, what I was seeing and hearing was skewed to fit the narrative I wanted to keep justifying. Often what was really going on was far from the way I had seen or heard it, making my reactions to it off and sometimes downright aggressive to the unsuspecting people I would encounter every day.
Perception is a tricky thing, even now sometimes I have to keep myself in check and ask myself if what I’m reacting to is really going on, or, is it just what I’m choosing to see and hear. Each of us has our own perception of the same things, and much of that perception is based on our past experiences, opinions, or whatever head space we may be in that day, and sometimes, it is whatever we’re wanting it to be based on expectations we had going in. Something to remember when we encounter people in our day to day life who may have a totally different perception than we do of that exact same event, and, just like with ourselves, we need to take into consideration that everyone else is fighting their own battles that we know nothing about, everyone, and in fighting those battles, is seeing things through their own filter, with their own perception. So, who’s right and who’s wrong? Well, it depends. It depends on who is taking in just the facts and who is lacing it with their own prejudices or preconceived notions of what was going to happen. It’s important to take stock of where we’re at and make sure we’re not bending the truth because of a bad mood, exhaustion, a case of being hangry, or maybe simply taking something out of context.
Misunderstanding someone’s meaning through email or text is really easy to do. It’s happened to me many times. We tend to read the words in whatever mood or head space we happen to be in, so a seemingly innocent message can come off angry if that’s the current mood we’re in, or if we’ve been harboring resentments against that person and haven’t worked on them and expressed how we feel. My recommendation always before immediately reacting is to pause, don’t do anything, maybe even go do something else for a while before getting back to it. Sometimes just taking a break does put things back in perspective and may help you read those same words differently. Something I also always do is ask myself if I can be misinterpreting the message, I question my perception because I know it can be off depending on what’s happening for me that day, sometimes just questioning myself can also put the words in perspective, as well as taking in the other person’s track record, do they typically talk to me like this, or does it seem out of character? Do some work before firing off a response and then hitting send. Trust me, you’ll make much less apologies when you practice this. Life is not a game show, we don’t get extra points for the fastest response, it never hurts to pause, and in some cases ask a friend for their opinion if you’re unsure yourself.
At the end of the day, we as individuals all see things differently, we all have our own opinions of the same events or information, we all bring our own history to every situation, the trick is to keep that into consideration before diving into an argument or engaging with someone you may have felt disrespected by, or offended by, ask yourself if that’s what’s really going on, and maybe ask someone else for their opinion. The idea is, we don’t just launch ourselves at someone without thinking it through, and reminding ourselves that someone else may be doing the same with us, so if you do feel attacked ask for clarification before lauding bombs back in their direction, communication is the key, and most of the time a simple clarification can fix things right up.
We are all human, we all make mistakes, remind yourself of that before becoming the judge and executioner in the course of a minute, what are the facts?
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are there times when you know your perception was off about a person or situation? Why do you think that was? What can you do in the future to keep your perception on track? Are you able to have compassion for others who’s perception may be off about you or a situation? If not why? Do you see how easy it is to be wrong about someone or something because of the where a place you may be in your life? How can you remedy that, or work on that for the future. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! Don’t let the past or other people hijack your life story, it’s your story to tell, you decide how that story is going to unfold and how it’s told, and if you don’t like the story you’re in, you have the power to change it.
The pen is in your hands SLAYER, start writing.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! When we make a commitment to live in the light, to love and honor ourselves, authentically, and do the work to ensure we stay on that path, miracles happen.
New blog goes up TUESDAY, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYERS! Never dull your shine for anyone else. Shine bright without apologies for who are you and what you are. Find people you let you light shine, and make you shine brighter. You are magic!
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
I used to do this, feeling less than I didn’t think I deserved anyone’s help, concern, or ear, I thought I was a burden and if I did reach out I would apologize for it. I would apologize for everything, for wanting things, for being passionate about the things I was, for being alive! I truly didn’t think I was worthy of anything and wouldn’t speak up, and then I would get angry and hurt when I wasn’t acknowledged, as a defense my ego would kick and say “yes, you do deserve all of these things and how dare they not know that!” I would stand there, the most righteous piece of crap that ever walked the earth, and then crumble in self hatred and doubt and not speak up, or if I finally did, be apologetic for my wants and needs.
We need to stop apologizing for ourselves! We do deserve good things, good people in our lives, and to love the things we do, no apologies. We have to lose the idea that if we need a friend, someone to listen to us that isn’t a burden, because, true story, you may just be helping the other person too. Crazy right? When you think about it, it’s actually selfish to hold back, not share, because you could also be cheating someone else from hearing what you have to say, maybe they also need to hear it, or need to hear themselves say what they’re going to say back to you. Don’t apologize. You matter, your experiences matter, your thoughts matter, it all matters. When I started this blog my intention, or hope, was to bring some light to someone who may be suffering or struggling, and so I set out to speak my truth, with no apologies, and because I’ve been doing that you all have responded with your stories of struggle or experiences, and victories, and have given back to me, and because I relate to so much of what you’re saying it reminds me of where I am, where I’ve come from, or where I need to be. See, it’s really a big circle, when we all share our truths, we all find some healing, and love, and comfort. Never apologize for who you are or your story.
That goes for your passions as well! Be you! Love what you love! Don’t ever apologize for those things or think you shouldn’t share it, when you do you find like-minded people who are also into the things you are. Some of you out there already have, and look at how amazing it feels to find your tribe, if people don’t understand, that’s OK, they don’t need to, it’s not up to you to make them understand, or apologize for it.
As SLAYERS we stand tall, we love and appreciate our authentic selves, we are proud of who we are, what we stand for, and what and who we love. We deserve to have good people and friends around us, we deserve to have the things we work for, aspire to, we deserve all of it, never apologize for any of that because it’s your unique voice, your love, your passion that is needed out the in the world, whether you’re having a good day or one full of challenges, we need to hear your voice, we connect with it, we love it, and we share in your journey.
Standing tall in ourselves means forgiving yourself, yeah I’m not going to let that go, finding your flawsome, letting your freak flag fly and celebrating you! Never apologize for who you are or what you want, you deserve all of it, you are special, we love you, but, you have to love yourself…without apologies.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you apologize for what you want? Why? Do you apologize when you’re struggling and need someone to listen? Why? Don’t you think we want what we want and go through what we do because there is a bigger plan, a reason we want and go through those things? If we don’t speak our truths and share with others we’re not only cheating ourselves, but we’re cheating those around us who may need to hear what you have to say. Don’t apologize for needing and wanting what you do. Stand tall SLAYER.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! It’s easy to compare how we’re feeling to what we’re seeing, but today SLAYER remind yourself, you are your only competition, not knowing anyone else’s journey, we focus on our own, and compare ourselves today to were we’ve been, and were we want to go.
SLAY on!
