Thank you to all of you who joined me tonight for a SLAY TALK LIVE full of love!
For those who weren’t able to join us, here’s what you missed.
Mental Health
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The difference between who you are and who you want to be is, what you do. Silence your inner saboteur.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Are You Leaving Trap Doors For Yourself?
Even when we step into the light and start to forge a new path for ourselves, a path that honors who we are and where we want to go, a path that allows us to build self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, we can leave trap doors for ourselves to fall through. There are sometimes places inside of us that want to keep us where we were, that want to keep us back, that want us in the dark. We succumb to these places, and sometimes tell ourselves we belong there. And sometimes, we believe it. Why would we set ourselves up to fail?
There are many reasons why we do this to ourselves. We may still feel undeserving of success, or better things, so we sabotage our road to success, not believing we truly deserve it. Believing we should hold ourselves back from where we want to go, or feeling it’s safer there, because that’s what we know. So even if we do rack up accomplishments and succeed, we feel worse, believing we don’t deserve it, so we sabotage our success and keep ourselves from moving forward.
We may also set trap doors for ourselves as a way to feel in control. When we try new things for the first time, or set new behavior patterns we weren’t practicing before it can feel like we’re spinning out of control, we’re in unfamiliar territory, and if we’re feeling unworthy on top of feeling like we’re not sure what’s coming next our need to control can take over and sabotage the good we’re doing.
If we’re lacking in self-confidence as we walk our new path we may feel like a fraud as we gain success, we may feel like we may be found at as not deserving, not talented enough, and not worthy of the place we find ourselves. We may feel that if we’re found out sooner than later, we have a shorter distance to fall, so why not pull the rug out now and save ourselves some pain of a fall later.
There can be many reasons why we leave trap doors for ourselves and get in the way the of our own success, but at the root of the problem is owning our own self-worth, believing that we deserve good things and deserve to succeed in what we are working for, without that we will continue to believe that we don’t deserve to be in the winner’s circle and we will continue to get in our own way. When we stand tall, take contrary action, doing what’s good even when we may doubt we deserve it, taking the compliment, humbly, even though we may not feel it, and accepting the success, even when we may not feel we deserve it, something happens, something changes, the good starts to come in, little by little, we start to live in a place of yes, a place that allows us to grow, to succeed, to win, and, we start to believe we deserve to be there. Step around those traps doors, even better, dance around them, and stand firm in who you are, what you offer, and what you believe, stand tall and allow yourself to be your best you, and continue to work towards what you want. You have the power to make your dreams come true, just make sure you step out of your own way so you can find them. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you set trap doors for yourself? Why do you think you do this? How do you think it hurts you? Why do you think you don’t deserve to have success in your life? What if you believed you should? What if you could? What steps could you take to allow yourself the freedom of allowing success or good things in our life? Write them down. When you find yourself in a place of self-doubt, or self-sabotage, look at that list SLAYER, read it out loud, and stop yourself from getting in our own way and believe that you deserve all the things that want for yourself. Get to work SLAYER, dream, believe, achieve.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When old patterns are broken, new solutions can be found.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes the only way to win is to walk away, that doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it just means that you accept that some things can’t be solved at this moment and time, and the best solution, is to not engage.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Join our Valentine’s Campaign!
Hey there SLAYER! Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time for many who suffer from depression or are feeling alone. Myself, along a group of wonderful people, have contributed to the IMALIVE Valentine’s Day Campaign to send messages of love and encouragement those who may need it.
You can also send out your own message by posting with the hashtage #ThereIsAlwaysMe and IMALIVE with share you post.
We all matter, you matter, you are not alone.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Be the best version of you, and no matter what, show’em what you’ve got!
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Do Your Best And Forget The Rest
We tend to be a very results oriented culture. We often equate whether we did a good job with if we won, or how we placed, or, if anyone noticed. But really we win every time if we’ve just done our best, regardless of the result or if anyone noticed. And, our best changes every day, sometimes within a day, what our best was yesterday might not be our best today, because we might not be the same as we were yesterday. It’s about doing what we can in each moment, and allowing ourselves to be less than our best yesterday because it is our best today. Allow ourselves to be human. Allowing ourselves to honor who we are at any given moment, and taking the pressure off ourselves to be perfect, or always at a heightened level of execution or achievement, allowing ourselves to just be, and know that just because our best today didn’t match our best yesterday, it might tomorrow, or tomorrow might be our best!
I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to be ‘the best,’ and when I didn’t win or get the recognition I was looking for I considered myself a loser. I was a loser, I had lost the point. Trying to be number one all the time is exhausting, it’s good to have goals, to set standards for yourself, but to make that the only reason to do something is empty, and, ultimately, unattainable all the time, and for some, never attainable. Each of us have our own best, our personal best, and really that’s the only marker we should be looking at, but we should also acknowledge and honor where we are at each day, and love ourselves even when we are not able to perform at a level that we would like, our best changes as we do, and some days, just getting out of bed may be our best, and, that’s OK. So, how do we have a healthier relationship with our best?
1) Live One Day At A Time – Take stock each day of where you’re at, mentally and physically, and let that guide you as to how hard you should push yourself, or how hard you should be on yourself, really, you should never be hard on yourself, but we do tend to be at times. Be kind and let yourself move at a pace that is comfortable for you, that includes self-care, and that allows you to progress at a speed that helps you to keep moving forward. Each day starts with a different you, so check in and see where you’re at before throwing out your list of demands.
2) Acceptance – Acknowledging yourself and where you are on any given day is one thing, the next step is accepting it. If you’re feeling tired, or emotional, or your head feels scattered, take note of that, and adjust your day to work within the parameters of who you are. Beating yourself up for being something you’re not, or for not being able to do what you want to do isn’t going to help you reach your goal, it’s only going to set you back. When you accept your situation it allows you to formulate a new plan and maybe a different approach, which in the end, maybe be the better way in the first place. Accept and move on.
3) Practice – Like with everything else it’s about practice. No one gets it right every single time, allow yourself to make mistakes and be gentle with yourself when you do. Anything new takes time to get right so if you fall back into old behaviors, acknowledge it, ask yourself what you can do differently the next time, and then move on. Life is all about learning, so let yourself learn.
4) Good Results Come From Good Work – Like everything else in life, to get the results we want, we have to do the work. Just wishing something to be, or wanting it to be, isn’t going to make it happen. How can you take action in your life to get the results you would like to have, while taking into consideration of who you are on that day? You’ve got to put in the work to get the results.
All any of us can do ever day is to do our best, if we’ve done that, and we’ve done it for the right reasons, meaning because we’ve wanted to, or it’s what’s best for us, then we should be happy with that. Our best is our best. It changes every day, it changes moment to moment, and that is OK, accept who you are and what you have to offer, leave everything else behind, thinking about what we could have done, or would have liked to have done only adds to self-loathing, anxiety and depression, life is about taking action, if you took the best action you could, you did your best, and the next time something comes around, maybe you top your best, maybe you don’t, but by continuing to strive to do your best you are planting the seeds for the future, and your best will get you to a place that you want to go. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to do your best? Is your best ever good enough? If not, why? What do you think makes it not good enough? How can you change your attitude around it? What if you stopped judging yourself and just did your best? What can you do to have a healthier attitude around what your best is? I challenge you SLAYER, to keep an open dialogue with yourself, to check in and see how you are before jumping into a new task or project, if you feel like you need to slow down, do it, and if you think you have the energy to speed things up then give it a boost, it’s all about doing what’s best for you, and knowing that whatever you do, you did your best.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When we know the facts we are safe.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes, walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
