learning

There Is Purpose In The Process

We live in a very result oriented society. It’s easy to only focus on what the end result will be, or what we want it to be, instead of enjoying, or, taking note, of the journey to get there. Many times, the journey is meant to be the result. Life is about learning, growing, changing, and so sometimes life will dangle a juicy carrot in front of us, so we’ll take the leap and start doing the work, when the carrot was really never the actual prize after all, it was the journey itself. There is purpose in the process.

When I first stepped on this path I had a goal in mind, I had set a date, a milestone for myself, with a very distinctive end result, that I wouldn’t want to die, and I did get that result by the desired date, but what I also got was the realization that all of those days between day one and and that date I had set for myself, all of the work, the new relationships, the changes, the challenges, were just as important, if not more so, as the actual goal. Yes, not wanting to die was a very important goal to reach, but all of that other stuff laid down the foundation from where I could continue to build and of where I stand today. We get so stuck on what the prize is, that we don’t realize the journey is also the prize. It may not feel like it as we struggle, step out of our comfort zone and walk through fear, but it is. The fact that we are doing all of those things, or have done them, is the prize. No matter what the end result, we win.

Today I certainly still have goals and places I’d like to reach in my personal growth, but I don’t worry so much about them as I do staying present during the process. And I also know, from walking on this path, that sometimes that carrot is only there to entice me to start, and that prize was never meant to be mine in the first place, because what I was going to learn along the way was far more valuable. So I don’t question it. I don’t try to figure it out, I just try to be present and in the moment, and looking for opportunities to learn and grow, looking for what I am supposed to be taking away from all of the challenges and obstacles that come my way, and making note of the victories. It’s all of those things that, when I’m paying attention, give me the courage to keep moving forward, to keep challenging myself, and that give me the knowledge that no matter how scared I might be, or overwhelmed, that I will walk through it for the better, because I have so many times before. As my life has settled down, mainly because I stopped creating chaos many years ago, I now that get rush when I do something that I’m afraid to do, but it’s a better rush, because I’m not going to have to clean up a mess after, or hide from what I’ve done, I now can use those victories to share with others, to encourage them to do the same, as was done for me by countless others who had walked before me.

What if you slowed down today, and thought about the process? Took note of each of the steps you have taken to get where you are today. Where you would like to go, and how you are going to get there. Now, you’re not going to know all the steps you need to take going forward, but at least the first step, keep your eyes on the prize as it where, but, keep paying attention to the process, therein lies the greatest prizes of all. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you someone who is very result oriented? Do you get so stuck on the results that you try to rush or force the process to get there? What do you think you might be missing during the process? Do you ever think that you’re not getting what you want because you’re prize is actually learning during the process? Does that scare you? Why? SLAYER, as I’ve said before, we only know a little, we only know our part and not how it fits into the big grand picture of things, so trust the journey, the path you are on, and trust that those challenges you encounter are coming to you for a reason, so the reaction is not, why is this happening to me, the question is, what am I supposed to learn from this, and it may just be patience, to just take each step as it comes and know you are exactly where you are supposed to be and at the time you are supposed to be at. Let go your expectations, your restraints, let go, and just be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You’ve seen better days, but you’ve also seen worse. You may not have everything that you want, but you have what you need. You may have woken up with aches and pains, but you woke up. Your life may not be perfect, but you are blessed.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay All You Need

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is no such thing as coincidence, the universe is always speaking to us.

New blog goes up Sunday…until then, SLAY on!

PRE_1021

Sometimes Something Negative Gives Us Exactly What We Want

I was recently on a trip, and during the process of checking in online something got messed up, perhaps it had something to do with us trying to do it on a phone in the sun poolside, but online checking wouldn’t let us check-in properly or give us boarding passes, it said we had to go to the counter in the airport. As we were trying to squeeze in the most out of our vacation we were frustrated as we were hoping to just breeze right through to security and not have to account for time waiting in line at the counter to sort out why we weren’t able to check-in properly. We let it get the best of us for a few moments, but the next day we left earlier than we wanted to just to be safe. In the end the whole process didn’t take that long and because my boyfriend was selected for an additional security check in the Jetway prior to our flight, a seemingly negative once again, he was able to board the plane earlier and he was able to get us the exact seats we were hoping to get so we were able to sit together for a trip home. So, a negative turned into a positive. Now, in the big scheme of things seats on an airplane is quite trivial, but it reminded me of how we categorize events in our lives as positive and negative, when, we don’t know how those events will play out in our lives, or the reason they’ve come up. You see, we don’t know what the outcome of any set of events will be. We can set out to have a positive attitude about them, we can do the footwork and set things up to give us the best possible outcome, but in the end, we have no control over how things actually unfold. What we do have control over is how we act and react to what’s going on around us.

In the instance with checking in for our flight, even though we were initially frustrated, we gave ourselves plenty of time to go through the process, and we went to the airport with a positive attitude and mindset. All things we can control. In the end it worked to our advantage, but even if it hadn’t there’s a lesson in that too, one of going with the flow and trusting that life is taking you where you need to be, and that maybe those things we think or feel or so important, aren’t really that important at all, they’re just nice to have, but not necessities for our well-being. Many times we can place importance on things that aren’t really that important, we give them much more value than they deserve, or we tell ourselves things have to be a certain way, but they don’t, not always, maybe not ever, sometimes when things don’t go our way we get the chance to experience something new, or see something from a different angle, and what we learn is that perhaps the way we’ve always “needed” things to be, or wanted them to be, wasn’t the best way after all, and we never would have known that if we always got our way and things always went exactly the way we wanted them to.

It’s a matter of perspective as well. When something seemingly negative happens, it’s our choice to have an open mind about it and be open to new possibilities. It’s also falls into a place of trust or having faith that you are being guided to exactly where you are supposed to be, or need to be. I find when I look at things from that perspective I am better able to let things go of the way I think they should be. Be open to new things, new ideas, new experiences, new ways of doing things. Let go and trust the path you’re on. When things don’t go your way, use that as an opportunity to change your attitude towards it, look at it as a possibility of something new and exciting, something different that you’re getting a chance to experience, and you just might find that the things you fought so hard to have a certain way weren’t the best way after all.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find that if something doesn’t go your way, or if it’s not exactly the way you want it, that you have a negative attitude around it? Do you then let that sabotage your day and effect those around you? Do you see that you have a choice in how you let seemingly negative things effect you? Do you see that being open to new things can possibly show you a better way, or make your world bigger? List 5 examples of times that something negative happened and something positive came out of it as a result. List 5 examples where you could have changed your attitude about something you labeled as negative. How could a positive attitude have changed the outcome of those examples. In the end SLAYER, we only know what’s in front of us, or where we’ve been, we don’t have the whole picture, so when we’re only willing to see and do things our way, we may be missing out on a place we’re supposed to be, a place with new opportunities, new people, and new ideas, be open the next time something negative happens, look for the good that can come from that, even if it’s just the act of being open, I guarantee your life will get bigger and brighter if you do. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Take charge, be at the center of your power and energize yourself with what you need to fuel your passion, but also give yourself permission to learn and to grow, you don’t have to have it all figured out, leave some room for the unexpected.

SLAY on!

 

State Of Slay Masterpiece

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Never feel guilty for doing what’s best for you. Setting a boundary is not selfish, it is an act of self-respect and self-care. Don’t let someone get comfortable disrespecting you.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Allow

Slay Say

 

Good morning SLAYER! Be firm in your goals, but flexible in your methods. There may be a way to get what you want just by being open to alternative route.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Fierce

Run Into The Tornado

We all have moments when we can either run and hide, or, run into the tornado. When we get an opportunity to go after something we want, or create the opportunity to reach a goal or achievement, we can let fear take over and hide, or just run full steam ahead and take it. Before walking this path I often let my fear of the unknown, fear of what you might think of me and my goals, and fear of not getting what I wanted stop me, stop me from trying new things, stop me period. As a result I would get angry, angry that others ran and got the things I wanted for myself, angry that I didn’t try, or angry that my life “was so difficult” that I couldn’t run and get what I wanted. But I could have, I stopped myself, I let fear win, and when I stopped doing that and started to run anyway, even full of fear, even if I didn’t get what I wanted I still won because sometimes the winning is just in the journey itself and not in the result, so run straight in, don’t look back and go get what’s yours, no matter what that is.

I like the visual of a tornado because that what it seems like many times. You’re running towards this whirling, grey, unstable beast the size of a gas station and you don’t know what’s going to happen, but just do it. Fear of the unknown stops us from doing so many things. When we set out to try something new, or go after what we want, we don’t know the outcome, we know what we want the outcome to be, but we never know exactly what’s going to happen, or if it’s going to happen just the way we envisioned it, in fact, it probably won’t. So knowing that, we use that an excuse not to chase after those things, but we should. We should always run after the things that inspire us, challenge us, excite us, nourish us, support us, and just make us feel good, go after all of those things, and by go I mean run, go get them, grab them, work for them, and never make excuses for them. When you get a no, still go, when you trip and fall, keep going, when you think you can’t go anymore, keep going, I didn’t say running into the tornado was going to be easy, that you wouldn’t get knocked down, but when you get there, in the eye of the storm and everything is moving around you, and you are just still, in the place that makes you happy, or having reached the goal you wanted, that you worked for, all of it, everything will seem so small. We build up the excuses, the reason not to in our heads, we stop ourselves from reaching our potential before we even start, so don’t give yourself the chance to, just run, run with purpose, run with passion, run with the intention to win!

Now running with total wild abandon will sometimes get us what we want, sometimes it’s just the act of running at all that is the victory, but typically there’s some footwork that needs to happen before we strap on those sneakers and get ready to bolt. It’s about setting up your foundation to succeed, all of the things I’ve talked about in my previous blogs, loving yourself, knowing and believing you deserve good, surrounding yourself with good people who love and support you, making your intentions known, asking for what you want and then diving in and getting it! Go get what’s yours, and what you want, take it, not matter how stormy the journey is, if it’s what you want it’s work fighting for.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you go after what you want in life? What stops you? How can you stop that from stopping you? Is what stops you a real obstacle? Or are you creating one so you don’t have to try? Or so you fail? Do you set yourself up to fail so you can continue the narrative that you are a bad person, or don’t get to have good things in your life? If you do, only you have the power to stop that story, and you can stop it. Today, take control of your story and your life, run into the tornado and go after your hopes, dreams, goals, go get them, you deserve to have the things you have worked for and have had the courage to go after, go get them all, and know that in doing so you are giving yourself the gift of trying, of fighting for you, and of honoring yourself. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our breath is our life preserver when we get overwhelmed, anxious, or scared, our breath saves us, gives us life, and allows us to walk through situations that challenge us in our day to day lives. Don’t forget to breathe SLAYER.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Breathe

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Stay focused on what’s important, not getting distracted by wants and other people’s opinions keeps us in a state of grace and on track to SLAYDOM!

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Important