grateful

Waking Up And Nothing Has Changed, But Everything Is Different

I have had a number of these moments in my life. And I’m grateful for all of them.

We see things when we’re ready to, or when we’re ready to take action, or capable of taking the right action, or, sometimes when we find ourselves at a crossroads and realize what road we are meant to take, and we realize that we are no longer able to stay were we are. Nothing has changed in that moment of realization, but everything has changed. We see things differently. We see things clearly. And even though it can be a harsh awakening, it is the key to our freedom, or a new chapter in our life. There’s an excitement to it. There can be fear, as we embark on a new journey to perhaps unfamiliar places, and we may have to take action in unfamiliar ways, but we’re ready for them, and they’re ready for us.

It’s easy to live where we are and put blinders on to the rest of the world. To narrow our field of vision, to somehow make where we are OK, to ignore the signs we shouldn’t be there, or to continue to tell ourselves the lies we need to to keep ourselves there. But we know the truth. Deep down. That’s why our light grows dim, we know we are not being true to ourselves and our light can’t shine when we’re not living in our truth.

Sometimes it takes a big jolt to get us to see. Or sometimes it comes as a person, a message, a kind heart. But when it comes it lets the light in, it blows the dust off of those places we’ve let sit stagnant, and maybe stopped visiting for fear of the truth. But once we see we can’t ignore it. Everything changes, and to stay would be too painful, too costly, so we take the action we can, even if it’s small, just a step, we take it, and once we do we start to live in our truth, the light comes in, and we begin to live again. Or, maybe for the first time.

For me, the first time it happened it was when I started to live, truly, in my truth, I had lived most of my life presenting myself to the world the way I thought you wanted me to be, and as a result, I never really connected to anyone, or let anyone really see the real me. In fact, I didn’t actually know the real me because I was too busy being who I thought you wanted me to be. But when my eyes finally opened to the reality of my life and that I held the key to finding a better one, as frightened as I was about the unknown of the future, I had found my power in my actions, and as I took more action, my power got stronger, as did I. And that was the beginning of the person who is now typing this blog.

The last time it happened was not that long ago. My eyes were opened to a life that filled my heart with joy, and does, a life that allows me to be who I truly am, that celebrates that, and allows me to learn and grow in the safety of it’s authenticity. In that moment of realization, nothing had changed, but everything had, as I could no longer stay where I was knowing what I knew, and feeling what I felt, that knowledge and those feelings were so strong they propelled me forward to the place I am meant to be, a place of true love, a place of support, a place that is home. I am grateful that I had had those moments before, and because I had taken action and found positive results, I didn’t hesitate when it happened again, I trusted that I was being shown this for a reason and that I had to take a leap of faith to find out why.

When you wake up and find that everything looks different, even if you’re in the same place, take note of that, and take action to get yourself out of the place you are and in the place you are mean to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have you ever felt like you woke up and everything looked different? Write down an example. What was the result of that? Did you make some changes? What changes did you make? Where there changes you didn’t make? What was the result? What stopped you from making them? Is it too late to make those changes today? Do it SLAYER, make any changes necessary to live as your best you, and, to live your best life. You have it in you, and if you forget, we’re right here to remind you as we live ours.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Say Thank You, Even If You Don’t Like It

I know what you’re thinking, why would I say thank you for something I don’t like? We should always say thank you, because we are grateful or appreciative for the good, and because we are grateful and appreciative for the not so good because we will learn from it.

We label things as good or bad. We assign value to things. But really nothing has more or less value unless we give it that value. So the idea of saying thank you to something you don’t like is a way to level the playing field. To make everything a positive experience. Some things, because they favor us, or are what we want, most definitely fall into a positive experience, and others take a different perspective to look for the positive. But, it’s always there.

When I look at things, or situations, that did not go my way, I can choose to think of those as negative, but really they weren’t. I always learned something from them. I learned about myself and I learned about the other people involved. I might learn that I needed to prepare more, or ask more questions, or maybe I needed to make my expectations known, perhaps I set my expectations so high no one could have met them, or maybe my lesson is to learn to be graceful and humble when things don’t go my way. No matter what, I look at what I could have done better and what I could learn for the next time. That’s the positive way to look at a negative situation. It’s also about living in a place of gratitude.

It’s easy to be angry or bitter that when we don’t get our way, and it’s easy to get into a negative pattern of thinking that tells us we never get in our way, which likely isn’t true, we just might not be getting our own way as much as we’d like, so, the question is, how can we change that? And, is our own way really the best way for us? There might be a reason we’re not getting our own way. It may not be what’s best for us after all. And, when we’re open to not just labeling something as bad, we can be open to seeing what we can take away from those situations. Being grateful for whatever comes is living in a state of grace, and living in a STATE OF SLAY. Trusting that what comes your way is what is best for you and, even if someone reacts to you in a negative way, be grateful for what that might teach you, and, how you may have handled it. What you might learn from that. What you can take away. Look for the lesson, or, just be grateful, regardless. I know that might seem foreign, but trust me, once you practice it, it really is a happier place to live. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know no one can do this all the time, we’re not perfect, but if we land here most of the time that is enough to make a seismic shift, propelling us from a place of poor me to fortunate me. I always say, look for the good and you will find the good, and this is a perfect example.

Say thank you whether you like it or not. Be grateful. Learn. Grow from the experiences that are put in front of you, find the good, create the good, be the good.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let seemingly bad situations get your down? Do you blame yourself? Do you blame others? Do you carry that around and let it ruin your day, week, month, year? How does that help you? How does it hurt you? How does being grateful for things you don’t like feel to you? If it’s negative, why do you feel negatively about it? What do you get out of holding on to the bad? SLAYER, try saying thank you, even just in your own head, no matter what the outcome, and find a way to be grateful for all experiences, sometimes it’s the ones we label as bad that we learn from the most, so find some gratitude in that.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Don’t Stop Before The Miracle Happens

I was speaking last night at a rehab center in LA. I enjoy speaking to people who are at a crossroads in their life, it’s something I relate to very much, as I have had many, but one in particular where I chose to step into the light instead of slip into the darkness. We do always have a choice. I never plan what I’m going to say when I go to speak, I trust that the words will come out of my mouth that are meant to and that my story or message will land where it’s supposed to land. I was reminded last night of a miracle I experiences early on in my journey, a milestone that I had placed importance on, and that if I didn’t feel better by that milestone I would set out on my original plan to take my own life. I made a promise to myself three months earlier, that I would work to live in the light, that I would do what was suggested and dive into whatever work I needed to do to get better, and if I didn’t feel better at the end of that three months then I was free to let go. But something miraculous happened. When I hit that three month mark, having worked very hard to change the way I had been living and better myself, I no longer wanted to die. Now, I’m not saying it was all rainbows and unicorns from then on, it certainly was not, and I had a lot more work to do, but I wanted to stay and do it. By changing my actions, by doing what I could to take action in a positive way I had changed the trajectory of my life. It was, by all accounts, a miracle, as I had spent years prior wanting to die, and at that moment, on that milestone, I realized I didn’t. That was the first miracle I’ve received on this 12 year plus journey.

I’m grateful to always remember that. It reminds me that anything is possible. Change makes things possible, it’s not always easy, but when we stick to it, dedicate ourselves to it, miracles happen. They truly do. I am a living example of that, and each of us who has made it back from the depths of darkness and despair are as well.

A big part of that for me is sharing my story with others, because it not only may give someone else the hope they need to start their journey, or continue on their path, but it reminds me that miracles do happen and to keep going. That what I need to focus on is doing what’s best for me and my mental health, and when I do, and am able to be my best self, miraculous things happen. When we are at the depths of our depression, our despair, it doesn’t seem like anything will or can help, it seems hopeless, and it only is if we don’t take positive action to bring some light into our lives. And, believing we deserve to. As I’ve mentioned before, it starts with willingness, if we are willing things start to happen, it may be slow at first, but willingness opens the door, even if just a crack, and the more we take action to live in the light, the more that door opens and the more light comes in. That all may seem really daunting at first, or from where you’re sitting right now, but, you only have to do the next right thing, that’s it, just one thing, and that one thing will lead you to the next, which will lead you to the next and so on. But it starts with one thing. You don’t have to worry where all those things will lead you, just keep doing them and you will be amazed because before you know things will change, shift, get better, just by doing those small things each day. I started over 12 years ago and still do them each day, and each day I am amazed at the beauty that my life has and the many miracles that have happened along the way, but the most important miracle of all is that I am here, and that today I want to spread and share my light with others, rather than die in the dark.

Go find your miracle, stay on the path of light, and watch your life change. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you want things to be better for yourself? What gets in the way? What can you do today to step into the light, to take action and get yourself on a better path? What has stopped you in the past? Is this something real or what you tell yourself to keep yourself in the dark? Is it something someone else tells you? Why do you think they’re telling you that? No one has the right to tell you who you are and what you deserve, only you can do that. So stand up SLAYER, dust yourself off and change your path, step into the light and start the story of the rest of your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What are you grateful for today?

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Gratitude.jpg

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER!  You have a choice each and every day.  Choose to feel blessed. Choose to feel grateful. Choose to be excited. Choose to be thankful. Choose to be happy.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Journey