Don’t Stop Before The Miracle Happens

I was speaking last night at a rehab center in LA. I enjoy speaking to people who are at a crossroads in their life, it’s something I relate to very much, as I have had many, but one in particular where I chose to step into the light instead of slip into the darkness. We do always have a choice. I never plan what I’m going to say when I go to speak, I trust that the words will come out of my mouth that are meant to and that my story or message will land where it’s supposed to land. I was reminded last night of a miracle I experiences early on in my journey, a milestone that I had placed importance on, and that if I didn’t feel better by that milestone I would set out on my original plan to take my own life. I made a promise to myself three months earlier, that I would work to live in the light, that I would do what was suggested and dive into whatever work I needed to do to get better, and if I didn’t feel better at the end of that three months then I was free to let go. But something miraculous happened. When I hit that three month mark, having worked very hard to change the way I had been living and better myself, I no longer wanted to die. Now, I’m not saying it was all rainbows and unicorns from then on, it certainly was not, and I had a lot more work to do, but I wanted to stay and do it. By changing my actions, by doing what I could to take action in a positive way I had changed the trajectory of my life. It was, by all accounts, a miracle, as I had spent years prior wanting to die, and at that moment, on that milestone, I realized I didn’t. That was the first miracle I’ve received on this 12 year plus journey.

I’m grateful to always remember that. It reminds me that anything is possible. Change makes things possible, it’s not always easy, but when we stick to it, dedicate ourselves to it, miracles happen. They truly do. I am a living example of that, and each of us who has made it back from the depths of darkness and despair are as well.

A big part of that for me is sharing my story with others, because it not only may give someone else the hope they need to start their journey, or continue on their path, but it reminds me that miracles do happen and to keep going. That what I need to focus on is doing what’s best for me and my mental health, and when I do, and am able to be my best self, miraculous things happen. When we are at the depths of our depression, our despair, it doesn’t seem like anything will or can help, it seems hopeless, and it only is if we don’t take positive action to bring some light into our lives. And, believing we deserve to. As I’ve mentioned before, it starts with willingness, if we are willing things start to happen, it may be slow at first, but willingness opens the door, even if just a crack, and the more we take action to live in the light, the more that door opens and the more light comes in. That all may seem really daunting at first, or from where you’re sitting right now, but, you only have to do the next right thing, that’s it, just one thing, and that one thing will lead you to the next, which will lead you to the next and so on. But it starts with one thing. You don’t have to worry where all those things will lead you, just keep doing them and you will be amazed because before you know things will change, shift, get better, just by doing those small things each day. I started over 12 years ago and still do them each day, and each day I am amazed at the beauty that my life has and the many miracles that have happened along the way, but the most important miracle of all is that I am here, and that today I want to spread and share my light with others, rather than die in the dark.

Go find your miracle, stay on the path of light, and watch your life change. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you want things to be better for yourself? What gets in the way? What can you do today to step into the light, to take action and get yourself on a better path? What has stopped you in the past? Is this something real or what you tell yourself to keep yourself in the dark? Is it something someone else tells you? Why do you think they’re telling you that? No one has the right to tell you who you are and what you deserve, only you can do that. So stand up SLAYER, dust yourself off and change your path, step into the light and start the story of the rest of your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

2 thoughts on “Don’t Stop Before The Miracle Happens

  1. I could wax long about the many miraculous things I’ve experienced, while trying to become a better version of me. I won’t, though. I’ll save that stuff for another day.

    What I will say is, I’m so grateful you’re still here, Carrie. I’ve been on that precipice. I know that incredibly dark place, where lies become reasonable truths, and death becomes not only an option, but a sound investment. That place where the advice you give is wonderful, but you hear it ring hollow when you apply it to your own life. It’s the very worst place, because all the love and compassion others feel for you just won’t make a dent. Then, there’s the constant ache of knowing you’re letting everyone down by not being able to function normally.

    But look at you! You slayed dragons full of shame, doubt, rage, apathy, and self-loathing. You found that elusive thing called inner peace, and became your own heroine. You came out on top, and you work hard to stay there.

    I have so much love and respect for you, Carrie. You really are an inspiration to me. Not because you came through tough times, and not even because you walked that line between life and death. No, it’s because you encourage others to find their joy no matter what fresh hell is swirling around them. You’re never condescending, and you never ignore or downplay the pain others feel.

    You just… well, you just hold that flashlight a little higher, so they, WE, can see your light showing us the way out.

    I can’t thank you enough. ❤


    1. What a beautiful comment, you’ve touched my heart, as usual. I feel, since I launched STATE OF SLAY, that we’ve walked this road together, you’ve always been so open and honest about the place you’re in, and I know I’m not the only one who appreciates that.

      You’re right. In the end no amount of encouragement and love can make a dent unless we do it for ourselves, something that can seem near impossible to muster when we find ourselves in the darkness. I share my story, my journey with everyone to say it can be done, it is not an easy road, but well worth the work to find that ever elusive peace.

      I am so honored to walk with you each day as you continue on your journey, there is hope, there is light, there is love, and it’s all inside of you, it may not seem like it, but it’s there, and it’s waiting to get out from under all the stuff we pile on top of it.

      Let your light shine, and if you can’t right now, of course, I will always be there to hold up my flashlight to show you there is light and there is a way.

      I love you. SLAY on!

      Liked by 1 person

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