future

Getting There, Not Being Here

We all want to get to where we’re going, even if we don’t know where that is. We seem to want to get there even faster when we do know where we want to go and have been working to get there. We can get so focused on the finish line that we miss all of the days and moments in between, and may miss all those milestones we pass along the way that we should be acknowledging, celebrating and appreciating as we travel the journey to where we are meant to be.

I used to be guilty of this. I was so focused on what I wanted to accomplish that I had blinders on and would focus so much that I couldn’t see anything else, and was closed off to anything else other than where I wanted to get to. The trouble with living like that is that we are living the future, we’re not present and taking in life around us as we go. We can miss a lot when live this way, I know I did, and there could be many signs around us every day that we may actually be on the wrong path, but if we’re only open to seeing the the end result we want to see, we’ll never see those signs, good, or bad, and we’ll keep barreling along, perhaps in the wrong direction. For me, I also was so focused on the destination I wanted to get to because I was trying to force it into being by sheer willpower, and I used that drive to get to where I wanted to go to escape from what was really going on in my life. I thought, if I focused so much on where I wanted to go I wouldn’t have time to see where I actually was, and that the place I was at may actually prohibit me from ever reaching the goals and my dreams. That’s one vicious circle. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to live rigorously honest, and to stay present that I could really, truthfully, live in a way that honored where I currently was and what I was working towards at the same time. It also meant I needed to be flexible. To be open to new ideas and avenues and be willing to amend my plan because there might be something else out there that I hadn’t thought about or even knew about. Since walking this path my goals have shifted somewhat. There are things that remain the same, but because I’ve been open to new ideas and have said yes to things, so many more avenues have been revealed to me and have changed what gives me the most happiness. I wouldn’t have discovered any of those things if I had remained only focused on what I thought was going to make me happy or what I wanted to accomplish. Life will show you the way, if you are open to receiving it’s message.

Take time to look around each day and see what else may be out there, behind what you think you know already is. When you walk through life willing to take in new ideas and new goals you will be directed to where you are meant to be. There is so much more out there than what we can imagine in our minds, we only know what we’ve experienced so far, we don’t know what else is possible beyond that. Let others share their journey with you, be open to what may be out there, and work towards finding your best self, once you’re doing that, you are ready to reach those goals of your dreams. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open to new ideas or do you stay fixated on where you think you want to go? If you’re not open to new ideas, what stops you? If you are open, how has your openness lead you to a place you never would have gotten to if you had continually said no? What have you accomplished that you hadn’t planned on, but because you were open find a new destination or goal to focus on you found another place for yourself? What have you taken a chance on and just said yes? What have you said no to that may have held you back? How can you still find your way to the place you may have meant to be when you said no? Allow yourself to enjoy the journey, there here and now, instead of just focused on where you want to be, because you’re never going to get somewhere by ignoring where you are right now.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! As dark as things might be, you never know how bright the light is that is waiting for you if you just hold on.

New blog goes up Sunday,  until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Thankful (1)

Hold On For The Good

Today is the 9 year anniversary of the night I should have died. I’ve written about that night in a blog entitled “A Power Greater Than Myself,” it was a night I should not have survived, and a night, back then, where a part of me wished I hadn’t. I had struggled with depression for most of my life, and that coupled with mental illness, there were many nights, years even, where I could only see the darkness in my life and didn’t actually believe there was good waiting for me, and if by some miracle something good did come, I believed it would be taken away. I’ve spent many years working on my own self-love, working on acceptance and working to live my life in the light, I no longer wish to die, and today, 9 years removed from that very dark and scary night, I am living the happiest days of my life.

When I sat on that beach that night, feeling alone and afraid, like death was closing in, I never could have imaged this place I am in right now. I was certain I was going to die on that beach, and my last memory of that night was me surrendering to the fact that I was not going to see another day. But the universe, God, whatever your belief or name you prefer, had other plans and knew where I was meant to be, one day, and so by some sort of miracle I was saved and survived insurmountable odds to find myself right here, right now.

The last seven days have been ones of great love, of a lot of laughter, of companionship, caring, and support. My life has changed tremendously, I became a Mommy to an adorable little pup, and became someone’s fiance, two things I would have missed out on if I had died today 9 years ago. Life has a plan for all of us, and even on those days that seem our darkest, or impossible to survive, if we let go, get out of our own way, and ask for guidance we can walk out of anything. I spent so many nights hoping I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, and thinking of that today it makes me sad, because today I look forward to start of each day, to walk this path with someone who loves me, who makes me laugh and brings so much light in my life. I am extremely grateful that I didn’t miss this time in my life, that something, or someone, knew better and kept me here when there were so many times I wanted to check out.

My point for sharing this today is to show my gratitude, but to also send out a beacon of hope to those who may be in the dark. There is a way out, and there may just be something really wonderful waiting for you that you can’t even imagine yet. Always keep fighting, even when things seem like they might not be worth fighting for, trust me, they are, and you’ll have no idea if you give up and stop fighting. When I was in my darkest days, I never could have imagined the life I have today, but there was a plan, and getting through those dark days inspired me to write this blog, and to give back in the many ways I am of service today, and coming to terms with the demons of my past has allowed me to find self-love and acceptance, and has allowed me to share my true self with someone I love, so even if things look to be at their darkest, hold on for the good, you have no idea what may be waiting for you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel that there is good in your future? If not, why not? If you do, how do you know? What do you put your faith in? Have you overcome darkness to now see the light? What did you learn from that experience? Don’t let the darkness you may be living in tell you it will always be there, or that it is the only future for you, keep fighting because your brightest days just may be right around the corner.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Don’t Borrow From Tomorrow

Before walking this path I was rarely present. There were a few reasons for that. One, I hated my present circumstances and hated who I was, so I would often think about tomorrow because that seemed less dim and dark because it hadn’t happened yet. Two, I wasn’t ready to take action to change the circumstances I was in, blaming others for my misfortune or believing I was a bad person who didn’t deserve better, so my head would live in the future with the hope that things would just magically get better on their own. They never did. When I set out to find a better way of life I was told to live in the present, to only look so far as what was in front of my hands, that, at first, frightened me, because it was hard to escape my situation when you could only look that far, but I realized that much of my anxiety came from fear of the unknown, fear of what might come next, and fear that I would also stay stuck right where I was. When I could focus on what was in front of my hands life became easier, because I only needed to focus on what was right in front of me each day, every day. My thoughts still wanted to jump ahead to tomorrow so I had to train it to stay with me right where I was, but the more I practiced it the more I found comfort in only focusing on each moment as it came, each task, each step I needed to take to get through the day. I realized why I had not been living that way as I started out on this new approach, there’s no hiding from the truth when all you have is the truth in each moment.

Jumping ahead was a way to escape, a way to fantasize and hope that things would get better. I would keep borrowing from tomorrow, and the tomorrows after those thinking somehow I could just wish things better, but as the years went on and the darkness got bigger and thicker, that hope was harder to find and I would reach farther and farther into the future while I was dying in the present. It was like a smokescreen, so I wouldn’t notice how bad things had gotten, and how bad they still could get, my thinking would propel me forward hoping a magical solution would present itself somewhere out there in the days that had not yet happened. They never did. The solution that appeared came to me in the present, in the form of a person, who in the present, could see how much I was suffering, and how sick I truly was, and in that present moment shared his story with me, which, in that moment, I did not fully absorb, but on a night when it really mattered, on a night when it mattered most, that story became as present as anything could be. I saw myself in that story and I was suddenly pulled back into the present, lost, scared, and wondering what to do next, but the thinking of what comes next, held me in the present.

When we find ourselves in those moments things get really simple. It becomes about survival, and when you’re fighting for your life there’s no time for complications. For me, I took the only action I could in that moment, I picked up the phone and asked for help, that action set off a chain of events that are still happening today, 13 years later, and today, 13 years later, I still focus on what’s in front of my hands, especially when life gets busy and can seem overwhelming.

It’s OK to plan for the future, to have goals and things you are working toward, but don’t cheat today by living in the future, you never know what you might have missed while you were looking ahead, and what you missed may have been the key to attaining everything you ever wanted in a future, and more, maybe even beyond your wildest dreams. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have trouble staying present? Where does your mind typically go? Why do you think it doesn’t want to stay right where you are? What frightens you there? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you think living in the future offers you? What if you tried to live in the here and now? What if you only did what was in front of your hands? Do you see how simple your life would be? How much more grounded it would be? When you think about doing that how does it make you feel? Try it SLAYER, focus on what’s in front of your hands, don’t allow yourself to get ahead and go to places you have not yet been when there is work to do right here, trust that where you are is where you are meant to be, and that there is valuable information there that will help to get you to where you are supposed to go. Follow your hands and listen for the direction of where they should go next.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! It’s normal to come down after a big event in our lives, prepare yourself for the dip after the high, and don’t forget to live your life for today, not the one you just had.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Today

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your past does not determine who you are, your past prepares you for who are you to become.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Shape Your Future