Everyday we have a choice. Choices. We have the power to choose each day whether we are going to engage with each person we encounter or not. It’s our choice. No one can force us. We always have the power to walk away, or, not get in the car and watch it go by.
Before stepping on this path I didn’t realize I had a choice. I felt compelled to always get in the car, to always engage. I had this fire inside of me and a need to be right, even when I knew I was wrong. In fact, I sometimes engaged with even more passion when I knew I was wrong, to see if I could convince you otherwise. It was part of my sickness. Having to be right. I felt like I had to and it took a lot of work to sit on my hands and to stop that behavior. Like many things on this path it was about breaking patterns, old behaviors that no longer suited me, or ones that never did. My need to be right, to fight, was really a deflection for me feeling less than. I didn’t feel good about myself so to prove to everyone else that I had worth, and to myself, I would engage, fight, argue, just to prove a point. But all it really did was chip away at my own self, it didn’t give me confidence, it didn’t give me worth, it always had me in a state of agitation and self-righteousness. I was never going to find peace there.
When I stepped on this path, I was working very closely with a woman, someone who understood my journey, as she had walked it years before me, and still was, and she would ask me, when I would talk about an argument I had gotten in or a heated debate, “do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” And when I was new to this life I would always say, “both,” or “being right does make me happy.” But it didn’t really. It might for a moment or two, and then I was off looking for the next battle, or car to get into. I remember very distinctly the first time I didn’t. Someone was baiting me to engage with them and I stopped, paused and excused myself. I walked out the door, shut it behind me and paused, I thought to myself, you just broke the pattern, just now, you stopped yourself. Tears welled up in my eyes because in that moment I knew I was going to be OK, that I had it in me to get better, to change and become the woman I had always wanted to be.
When we consciously make the choice to change, and make better choices for ourselves our lives get better. Easier. With less conflict. Drama. We always have the power to walk away, to not engage with those individuals who are looking for conflict, or the old you, you don’t have to play along, you can do what’s best for you and let that car go by, and let go of old ideas that used to shackle you to having to be right, or make sure your opinion is known, sometimes you can say a lot more by not saying anything at all, and in doing so, get your power back as that car speeds away down the road. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel compelled to always be right? Or to engage with everyone who crosses your path? Do you go looking for conflict? Why do you think you do this? What do you think will happen if you stop? Do you feel the need to always be right? Why do you think that is? How do you feel when you’re right? How do you feel when you’re wrong? Why does it matter to you one way or the other? What if you just didn’t engage? What do you think would happen? Who would you feel? What patterns in your life would you like to change? How can you go about changing them? Write down the behaviors you have that don’t serve you, cause you pain or unrest. The next time one of these comes up, pause, take a breath and let it go, don’t engage, just excuse yourself and walk away, you’ll be surprised SLAYER just how freeing it is, and just how right taking that right action will make you feel.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
