Good morning SLAYER! It is important to check in with ourselves, but it’s just as important to check in with the world around us, to broaden our view and see what’s in front of us.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Inspiration
Are You A Navel Gazer?
There’s a danger in looking inward too much—when your world becomes a mirror that shows only your problems, your pain, your fears. That’s what it means to be a navel gazer: constantly watching yourself, magnifying your flaws, and forgetting there’s a wider world that offers both perspective and relief.
But when we only gaze inward, we isolate ourselves from life, community, and meaning. We inflate our burdens and lose sight of the beauty around us. The antidote? Turn your gaze outward. Let your life breathe again in connection, contribution, and service.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
The Mirage of Self-Focus
When you’re stuck in your head, every error feels fatal. Every criticism feels crushing. Every setback feels permanent. You spin—overthinking, replaying, analyzing—until your problems look like monsters.
I’ve been there. Trying to figure everything out before I moved, second-guessing every emotion, judging myself for what I felt. The more I did that, the more stuck I became.
Here’s what I finally came to see: self-focus without action is just self-absorption. You can think harder, but unless your gaze shifts, nothing changes.
Looking In vs Looking Out
Looking inward has its place—it can deepen self-awareness, healing, and growth. But only when balanced with looking outward.
When we only look in, we:
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Magnify small issues into crises
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Drown in self-criticism
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Lose touch with what really matters
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Disconnect from community
When we turn outward, we:
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Remember there are bigger stories than ours
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Find wisdom in serving, contributing, listening
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Lighten our own burdens by lifting others
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Reconnect with purpose beyond ourselves
The world doesn’t need more perfect self-reflection—it needs your presence. Your light. Your gift.
From Inside Spirals to Outside Impact
The shift out of navel-gazing is not denial. It’s not pretending nothing hurts. It’s choosing when to look inward—and when to look outward.
Here’s what it looked like for me:
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When pain surfaced, I wrote it out. Then I stepped outside my four walls and asked someone else how their day was.
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When fear whispered, I visited someone I knew needed encouragement—and I encouraged them.
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When shame rolled in, I shared a fragment of truth with a trusted friend—I turned inward language into outward connection.
I found that the more I did that, the less power my internal spirals had. The more I engaged in life, the smaller my worries seemed in comparison to what we could create together.
Step Outside Your Gaze
You don’t have to live life wrapped up in your own thoughts. Here are ways to shift your gaze outward, even when you feel pulled inward:
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Serve Someone Every Day
Small acts—listening, encouraging, volunteering—remind you that your struggles are not the whole world. -
Ask Questions, Then Listen
Ask someone else’s story, their fears, their joys. Let their story expand your soul. -
Join a Cause or Community
Be part of something bigger than yourself. Let your life connect with people, not isolate. -
Practice Gratitude Scans
Each day, list 3 things you see outside of you that bring joy—sunlight, a smile, a bird’s song. -
Pause the Mirror Time
When your thoughts spiral inward, pause and redirect—with kindness—to what’s outside: a walk, a view, a voice, a touch.
What Happens When You Look Out
When you step out of the spiral of navel gazing, something beautiful begins:
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Problems shrink. They don’t disappear, but they feel less overwhelming.
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You find solutions in unexpected places—through others, through service, through connection.
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You reclaim your place in life’s big story. You aren’t just a spectator—you’re a participant.
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You step into joy less burdened by the weight of your internal drama.
You begin to see that your life isn’t about solving every internal fault—it’s about living, with heart, with impact, with connection.
SLAY Reflection
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How often do you find yourself trapped in your own thoughts or problems?
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What costs you when you stay inward too long—peace? energy? relationships?
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What is one small act you can do today to shift your gaze outward?
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Who in your circle might need your presence, support, or listening?
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How might your life change when you stop magnifying your worries and start magnifying your service?
S – Stop spiraling inward without purpose
L – Look outward and engage with the world around you
A – Act small, act kind, act beyond yourself
Y – Yield your focus to meaning beyond your mind
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself overthinking or turning inward too much—and what helped you shift your focus outward again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in their own head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to lift our gaze and reconnect with the world around us.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Be firm in your goals, but flexible in your methods. There may be a way to get what you want just by being open to alternative route.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! We have to admit, our best ideas haven’t always gotten us the best results. We can tell ourselves we’re sticking it out, but are we, or is our stubbornness holding us back? Sometimes we have to learn to let go, trust the process, and bend.
SLAY on!
If You Don’t Bend, You’ll Break
I used to think being stubborn made me strong.
I wore my “wood-head” nickname like a badge of honor, proud that no one could get me to change my mind once it was made up. I believed my rigidity protected me.
But what it really did was keep me stuck.
I was unyielding, closed off, and resistant to change. And eventually, I broke.
I hit the floor, empty and out of options. My stubbornness wasn’t strength—it was a wall between me and growth, between me and peace.
Turning Stubbornness into Strength
When I finally made the choice to walk a better path, I realized I could channel that same stubbornness into something good.
I learned to use it to push through the tough days, to hold myself accountable, and to keep moving forward even when old behaviors tried to pull me back.
Instead of fighting against myself, I started fighting for myself.
The Power of Flexibility
Life is always changing, tossing curveballs our way. If we cling to what’s familiar, we stay stuck. But when we’re willing to bend, to try a new direction, we create space for something better.
Flexibility doesn’t mean giving up your values—it means recognizing when it’s worth letting go, shifting perspective, or simply approaching something with a fresh mind.
It’s about learning to move with grace and openness, discovering that the “new way” might just be the better way.
Breaking Free from the Safe Zone
Being stubborn felt safe. It gave me a sense of control. But it also kept me from experiencing new opportunities, relationships, and growth.
Have you ever pretended to “try” something new, just to prove it wouldn’t work? I did that too. But I’ve learned that true trying means approaching with a positive, open heart, willing to embrace whatever outcome arises.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
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Are you stuck in your ways of how things should be done? Why do you think you are?
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What do you think will happen if things aren’t done your way?
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Is this something that threatens your well-being, or just your comfort zone?
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Can you think of a time when you tried something new, and the result was a positive surprise? How did that feel?
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This week, I challenge you to bend—try something new, or approach something familiar in a different way.
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Write them down. See how many new things you can add to your list, and then reflect on the results.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ll try differently this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to be flexible and open to new possibilities.
And if you know someone stuck in their old ways, send this to them.
Sometimes, a nudge is all it takes to start bending in the right direction.
SLAY on.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Give yourself permission to soar!
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Know Your Own Power
Before taking this journey I thought I was powerless, I never would have let you know that, because on the outside I presented a powerful front that was run purely on self-will and stubbornness, but inside, I felt helpless, alone, and a victim of life. And I was, because that was the outlook I chose to see. There are certain things we do not have power over, many things in fact, but what we do have power over is how we react to them, or, if we choose to engage with them at all, that, is in within our power. We have so much more power than we think, and when we start to exercise that power, and align those choices with our hopes, dreams and goals, our power grows and we go from powerless, to powerful.
No one us you. No one. There is power in that. There is no other person in the world who brings exactly what you have in the package you have it, no one. Know that. Own it. Use it. Even though you may have similar or shared experiences with other people, even though you may have similar backgrounds or education, no one has exactly what you have. Find the strength and power in that and use it to harness your talents, your ambitions, to go after what you want, use it to push you forward toward your goals and the direction you want to go. Don’t wait for permission to do something, create it, do it, go get it, work for it, make it happen. You are only as outside the center of power as you allow yourself to be, because truthfully, you are the center of your own power. Own that space, stand firm in who you are and what you want and take action.
This goes back to many of the topics I’ve discussed previously at State Of Slay, like many topics I discuss, everything builds on itself to create a solid foundation for us to stand, and to leap from, so we can rise to greater heights. Each step builds on the next, and gives us more self-confidence and strength to move forward, even if we’re still working on finding something in ourselves, the act of doing, seeking, or trying, works as a stepping stone to get us to the next step, and in trusting in the act of doing, sometimes we find the answer there. I’ve learned along my way that I’m not always going to figure it all out just because I’m working to do so, but I trust that I am learning what I need to know and gaining the information I need and I understand it when I’m supposed to have it, when I’m meant to, and that when I’m meant to understand or get what I’m working to find or achieve, I will, as long as I keep doing the work, so, even if you don’t have what you think you need to move forward, trust that you have enough, and that you will have the rest when you do need it and are ready, just take action, take action with the best of intentions with the information you do have, and move forward toward the things you want. I know that can be difficult when you’re struggling with self-doubt, or slow self-esteem, but just the act of doing it anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, taking contrary action, can help you gain more self-esteem and start to chip away at your self-doubt because you are taking positive steps towards being your authentic self and going after what you want. Never be ashamed of that. Never give up if it’s something you want and are willing to work for it. Keep moving forward and focus on your inner strength, your inner power, visualize it, use it to move you when you feel paralyzed with fear or uncertainty, use to grow, and to shine your light.
Know your power, and own it.
There is only one you, that is our power SLAYER. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see and feel the power you have within? If not, why not? How do you think you can find it? Only you have the power to find your own power, and when you do, and you find the fire within you, you have the fuel to propel you to where you want to do, you have the fuel to shine bright in all that you do. It’s time to take action SLAYER, to find and own your power, to know that you are like no one else out there, only you are you. Write down 5 things that you think make you special. Write down 5 things you love about yourself. Write down 5 things that you want for yourself. Now use those things that make you special, use those things that you love about yourself, and go get the things you want! You, SLAYER, have the power to do that.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You have the power to make your dreams come true, take action, run into the tornado, and get what you want! You deserve it. You can do it. You can make it happen.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Run Into The Tornado
We all have moments when we can either run and hide, or, run into the tornado. When we get an opportunity to go after something we want, or create the opportunity to reach a goal or achievement, we can let fear take over and hide, or just run full steam ahead and take it. Before walking this path I often let my fear of the unknown, fear of what you might think of me and my goals, and fear of not getting what I wanted stop me, stop me from trying new things, stop me period. As a result I would get angry, angry that others ran and got the things I wanted for myself, angry that I didn’t try, or angry that my life “was so difficult” that I couldn’t run and get what I wanted. But I could have, I stopped myself, I let fear win, and when I stopped doing that and started to run anyway, even full of fear, even if I didn’t get what I wanted I still won because sometimes the winning is just in the journey itself and not in the result, so run straight in, don’t look back and go get what’s yours, no matter what that is.
I like the visual of a tornado because that what it seems like many times. You’re running towards this whirling, grey, unstable beast the size of a gas station and you don’t know what’s going to happen, but just do it. Fear of the unknown stops us from doing so many things. When we set out to try something new, or go after what we want, we don’t know the outcome, we know what we want the outcome to be, but we never know exactly what’s going to happen, or if it’s going to happen just the way we envisioned it, in fact, it probably won’t. So knowing that, we use that an excuse not to chase after those things, but we should. We should always run after the things that inspire us, challenge us, excite us, nourish us, support us, and just make us feel good, go after all of those things, and by go I mean run, go get them, grab them, work for them, and never make excuses for them. When you get a no, still go, when you trip and fall, keep going, when you think you can’t go anymore, keep going, I didn’t say running into the tornado was going to be easy, that you wouldn’t get knocked down, but when you get there, in the eye of the storm and everything is moving around you, and you are just still, in the place that makes you happy, or having reached the goal you wanted, that you worked for, all of it, everything will seem so small. We build up the excuses, the reason not to in our heads, we stop ourselves from reaching our potential before we even start, so don’t give yourself the chance to, just run, run with purpose, run with passion, run with the intention to win!
Now running with total wild abandon will sometimes get us what we want, sometimes it’s just the act of running at all that is the victory, but typically there’s some footwork that needs to happen before we strap on those sneakers and get ready to bolt. It’s about setting up your foundation to succeed, all of the things I’ve talked about in my previous blogs, loving yourself, knowing and believing you deserve good, surrounding yourself with good people who love and support you, making your intentions known, asking for what you want and then diving in and getting it! Go get what’s yours, and what you want, take it, not matter how stormy the journey is, if it’s what you want it’s work fighting for.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you go after what you want in life? What stops you? How can you stop that from stopping you? Is what stops you a real obstacle? Or are you creating one so you don’t have to try? Or so you fail? Do you set yourself up to fail so you can continue the narrative that you are a bad person, or don’t get to have good things in your life? If you do, only you have the power to stop that story, and you can stop it. Today, take control of your story and your life, run into the tornado and go after your hopes, dreams, goals, go get them, you deserve to have the things you have worked for and have had the courage to go after, go get them all, and know that in doing so you are giving yourself the gift of trying, of fighting for you, and of honoring yourself. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Our breath is our life preserver when we get overwhelmed, anxious, or scared, our breath saves us, gives us life, and allows us to walk through situations that challenge us in our day to day lives. Don’t forget to breathe SLAYER.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
