If You Don’t Bend, You’ll Break

Before walking this path I was stubborn, rigid, and not going to bend an inch to suit someone else’s wishes other than mine. A friend nicknamed me “wood-head” because he said there was no getting me to change my mind after I had set it. I was proud of my stubbornness and thought it’s what made me strong. What it made me was unable to grow, to learn, to try new things, and to see that my stubbornness was standing in my way of freedom. I did break, I broke down, to the floor on my knees, empty, and out of solutions. I had caused myself so much unnecessary pain and suffering, but, in my case, perhaps it was necessary so that I could finally see that my stubbornness was not an asset, not the way I was using it.

When I made a commitment to make better choices, to take suggestions from others, and to practice contrary action, to do things differently, I had to let my stubbornness go, I chose to instead use my stubbornness for good, and let it fuel my recovery from the black abyss I now found myself in. I thought, if I could use my stubbornness for bad, I can certainly use it for good, so on those days when I didn’t want to do the right thing, when I wanted to act out on old behaviors, when I didn’t think I could move forward, I dug my heels in and fought, I fought for myself now instead of against myself.

Life is all about change, it’s always changing, throwing us curve balls and seeing what we do with them, and when we just stand there and do what we’ve always done, we get what we’ve always gotten, but when we move, bend, or swerve in a different direction, a better direction, a more loving direction to ourselves, something happens, change happens, and we learn to move differently, we learn to move with ease and grace, and things stop being so much of a struggle. When we’re flexible we can handle anything, even if it’s a disappointment we learn to navigate around it, find a different way, or learn that the new way might even be better. Being flexible results in less tension, fights, frustration and arguments, it doesn’t mean bending to the wish of everyone else all the time, but it means learning when there is something worth fighting for and learning when it’s worth more to you to let it go and change directions, and sometimes that different direction ends of being one you like, or it takes you to an unexpected place you wouldn’t have gone to before. When we are bull-headed and will only see things one way or do them one way we miss out on the opportunity to try new things, with new people, in new circumstances, we miss out on a whole world out there full of possibilities, and let’s be honest, even though our way feels like the safer way, or the better way, we don’t really know for sure until we try, and, I know some of you are going to say that you have tried in the past, but did you really, with an open and positive mind, or did you just go through the motions to appease someone so you could turn back around when it didn’t work and say “I told you so?”

Try to bend more often SLAYER, be confident in who you are and what you want, and know what your intentions are, but bend, even a little, and see where that takes you, try to see things differently, and do things differently, even just for the sake of trying, you may just be surprised at the results.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you stuck in your ways of how things should be done? Why do you think you are? What do you think will happen if they are not done your way? Is this something that threatens your well-being? Can you think of a time you tried something new, or differently, and the result was a positive outcome? How did that feel? SLAYER, I challenge you this week to look for opportunities to try new things, or the same things in a different way. Make a note of those things. Write them down, and see how many you can add to the list. Then, look back and see what the results were. Keep an open mind SLAYER, you may just be on the cusp of something great. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

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