SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! A good example has twice the value of good advice.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Story End

Are You A Shining Example Or A Dire Warning?

There was a time when I would have called myself a dire warning—not just to others, but to myself. I was the cautionary tale. The one who looked fine on the outside but was falling apart inside. I lived in a cycle of self-sabotage, denial, and fear, making poor choices—or worse, making no choices at all—and then wondering why things didn’t change.

But here’s the truth: we all have a choice. At any moment, we can decide to be a shining example instead of a dire warning. And that choice? It changes everything.

The Warning Signs Were Me

When I was living in the dark, I didn’t believe I had options. I told myself I was strong, that I didn’t need help. But the truth was, I was drowning. I was clinging to patterns that were destroying me, too loyal to my own pain and too stubborn to let go. My relationships suffered, my joy faded, and my hope all but disappeared.

And still, I looked down on those I thought were weak—never realizing that true strength isn’t in pretending you’re fine. It’s in admitting you’re not.

It wasn’t until someone else showed me what it looked like to live differently—to step into the light—that I began to believe it was possible. They didn’t lecture me. They simply lived in a way that made me want what they had. They were a shining example, and I wanted to become one too.

Turning Toward the Light

The moment I chose change, a tiny flicker of light appeared. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. I picked up the phone. I asked for help. I started doing the work. And slowly—so slowly at first—that flicker began to grow.

I surrounded myself with people who inspired me. People who had walked through the darkness and come out shining. They didn’t have perfect lives, but they had something real—something I wanted. And being around their light helped me ignite my own.

The more I leaned into that light, the more I began to change. My relationships shifted. My inner dialogue softened. People who used to worry about me now cheered me on. And I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, I could be that beacon for someone else.

Light Is Contagious

We get to decide who we want to be. Every day. With every choice. You don’t have to stay stuck. You’re not bound to your past. If you’ve been a dire warning, you can become a shining example. All it takes is a spark—a moment of hope, a tiny act of courage, a willingness to believe that you’re worthy of the light.

And when you do that, you don’t just transform your own life. You light the way for someone else.

So ask yourself: Which story are you telling with your life?

SLAY on.


SLAY OF THE DAY: Spark Your Truth

  • Do you feel like a shining example or a dire warning right now?

  • If you’re not where you want to be, what choice can you make today to move closer to the light?

  • Have you been both in your life? What shifted?

  • Who in your life is a shining example? What can you learn from them?

  • How can you be a spark for someone else?

You don’t need to be perfect to shine. You just need to be real—and ready.


Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you can make today to step out of the shadows and into the light?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in their dark chapter, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is someone to show us the way.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Patience is the acceptance that things can happen in a different order than what you had in mind.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Patient Heart

 

 

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find a way.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Patience Impatience

Patience Is To Sit In Your Suffering

Patience is a skill I never had when I was living in the dark. I wanted what I wanted—and I wanted it now. If something took longer than I thought it should, I unraveled. I’d stew in my own anxiety, convinced that worrying over it somehow meant I was “doing something.” But it never helped. In fact, it only made things worse.

The reality is, I was causing myself more pain by holding on.

Suffering Is Optional (But It Doesn’t Feel That Way)

When I started my journey toward healing, I had to face a hard truth: patience isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s powerful. It’s choosing to sit still when every part of you wants to control, manipulate, and fast-forward the process.

I was taught something simple, yet profound—do the footwork and let go. And actually let go. Not say I would, then sit in agony while pretending to surrender. That took time. It still does. But every time I allowed myself to sit in discomfort, without reacting, something shifted.

Here’s what I learned: the suffering didn’t come from the waiting—it came from the clinging.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

So much of my anxiety came from the belief that I had to manage everything. I believed I had the best plan, the right answers, and the perfect timeline. But that was just my ego talking. And when I realized how wrong I’d been before—how lost and broken I felt trying to run the show—it humbled me.

I had to accept that I wasn’t the director of the universe. That my vision was limited. That maybe—just maybe—there was a bigger plan unfolding, and my job was to participate, not dictate.

That’s where the power of patience lives. Not in forcing, but in trusting. Not in pushing, but in practicing peace. And the more I practiced, the less I suffered.

Choosing Peace Over Pressure

Let’s be honest—letting go is not easy. Especially when we care deeply about the outcome. But once we start to realize that the suffering is self-inflicted—that it’s not coming from the waiting, but how we wait—it becomes easier to breathe through it.

The truth is, when we choose to surrender, we reclaim our power.

Patience doesn’t mean inaction. It means taking the action that’s yours, and then releasing what isn’t. It means being OK with not knowing, trusting that the right things will unfold in the right time. That may feel uncomfortable at first. But comfort isn’t the goal—freedom is.

And freedom comes when we stop clinging to control and let go of the suffering we’ve been dragging around.

SLAY on.


SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Release

  • Do you try to force outcomes instead of letting things unfold?

  • What’s the cost of that tension—emotionally, mentally, physically?

  • How do you feel when you’re able to truly let go?

  • What fear is keeping you in the suffering?

  • What step can you take today to release control and choose peace?

Suffering shows us where we’re clinging. Let it be your invitation to let go.


Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding on instead of letting go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to sit in the waiting, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to pause.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You can’t build on top of success you don’t acknowledge.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Be Proud Every Step

Don’t Forget To Check Your Odometer

Some of us move through life so fast we never catch up to ourselves—while others move forward without realizing just how far they’ve come. It’s always easier for someone else to notice the distance we’ve traveled before we do. We’re often too close to our own lives to see the growth clearly.

That’s where checking your odometer comes in.

We may not have a physical readout to track our personal mileage, but we do have markers—our habits, our choices, our relationships, and our emotional shifts. When we take the time to pause and reflect, we might just see that we’re not in the same place we were three months ago, a year ago, or even last week.

And if we are in the same place? That’s not shame. That’s information. A gentle cue that it might be time for new action.

How Far Have You Really Come?

Before I stepped on this path, I didn’t want to check the odometer. I didn’t want to be reminded that I wasn’t making progress—or worse, that I was moving in the wrong direction. I judged myself harshly and measured my worth based on where I thought I should be, instead of where I actually was.

I was living with blinders on—trapped in a cycle of self-criticism, isolation, and disconnection. It wasn’t until I asked for help that I started placing positive mile markers in my life. Each step forward, no matter how small, became something to build on. And even when I couldn’t see my own growth, the people around me could.

Their reflection helped me see the transformation happening inside of me—and over time, I started to believe it for myself.

Celebrate the Journey

You’ve come a long way. Even if you don’t feel like it, you have. Maybe you’ve let go of a toxic relationship. Maybe you’re managing your mental health better than you used to. Maybe you’re just waking up and trying—and that alone is progress worth celebrating.

Self-checks matter. They give us a chance to acknowledge our growth, recognize where we still want to go, and celebrate the resilience that brought us this far. And yes, even setbacks can be part of that progress—sometimes, they’re just a moment to pause and breathe before your next big leap.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to be proud of how far you’ve come. Own it.

You’re a survivor. A warrior. A kickass SLAYER.
Don’t forget that.
Don’t forget you.

SLAY on.


SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Recalibrate

  • Do you notice the changes in yourself—or only when someone else points them out?

  • When others celebrate your growth, do you accept it? Or do you deflect?

  • How do you support and recognize growth in others? How would it feel to give yourself the same grace?

  • What’s one area where you’ve worked hard to grow? Write down the milestones that got you here.

  • Where are you today that felt impossible a year ago?

You’ve traveled further than you think. Don’t miss the view just because you forgot to check the odometer.


Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one win—big or small—you’ve had on your journey that you sometimes forget to celebrate?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who doesn’t see how far they’ve come, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Thank you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Gratitude and Attitude